I don't get along with people I don't like them

[lillith]

Ok so the problem is I really don't like people, meeting, interacting with them etc. They are just problem to solve for me I try to avoid them as much as possible. I am really shocked that there are people who really like almost every person on earth. I am like wtf... extroverts get on my nerves, sensors are boring and quite stupid, judgers piss me off, feeling types misunderstood me. I tolerate only INTP, INTJ, INFJ but I can't even find them. I can deal with ENXX types for 10 minutes or so. And that's it SJ types are the worst in my opinion, they don't have their own ideas, they are like retards, corpo-zombies without any creative thinking. I write my own ideas to my ISTJ sister and she won't even reply to me. She is only interested in food, cosmetics or stupid jokes something more mature and she just get silent. Btw. I am female so it is not fun at all. And 30 years old I still don't like people just like when I was a teenager and I will never like them probably. 95% of my time I spend alone because communitating with others and explaining things is just exhausting. I gave up on humanity.

 

[Cognisant]

Wrote this for the other thread which suddenly disappeared:

Fake it until you make it, style over substance, the veneer is all that matters, that sort of people right? Can't have a real conversation with you they need to interact with you through some sort of intermediary, puppeteering their body like a ventriloquist uses a dummy.

If you try to have a real conversation with them they get scared, it's not "normal" to have meaningful interactions, everything should be like it is on TV, pretty plastic and fake. Unfortunately they tend to do well in office environments, good at playing the game, schmoozing the right people and wielding offense like a dagger, all too happy to slip it between your metaphorical ribs the moment you're starting to feel comfortable with them.

How do you deal with them?
I'm careful to watch what I say, do, think, feel, etc. They force you to play their game and to my dismay I've become adequate at it, but it is possible to escape their inane office politics. They're seldom ever actually in charge of anything due to their inability to think for themselves, once you're at a certain level or in a position that affords you enough independence you can simply ignore them.

I have ISTJ sister and I still can't decipher her. Like what the point of living for them? I have never had real discussion with her.
Do not feel sad for the P-zombie, it never was.

 

[lillith]

"Wrote this for the other thread which suddenly disappeared"
yeah I didn't say terrible things just asked how to deal with SJ and they still removed that post... quite shocking. Is this place worse than reddit ? thanks for reply maybe I should treat her like most SJ just ignore her...why bother

 

[EndogenousRebel]

If the moderating body of this forum were aggregated into a single being, they would have mild BPD. Same could be said about any group of people, but that's why I vibe with it.

I'm going to leave speculations about personality and gender/sex to the other thread you started. But since siblings usually act as foils, contrasts to eachother, and I have seen it, a cutesy ditsy sister and a mild-mannered goth bitch is not that weird. Excuse if I sound misogynistic.

I think it's mostly cultural, but many women in my little sub-culture will casually behave in ways that complicate reality. It might be because they see no other recourse. Infidelity is damming for the person who gets cheated on and common in the culture, so it might be a defense mechanism, but they'll have like 3 realities that they switch to on a drop of a dime, even when their is no need to.

Is this because of personality? It's misogynistic to say because of sex, but maybe if we use the word biology I can get away with it. You seem to have committed to a single reality, good for you. If you ask me it just means your confident in your competence while someone else uses narratives as a tool to sustain their fragile ego, surfing from convenient narrative to convenient narrative. Men I find talk less so it's harder to tell with them. But of course they treat other men radically different than women, so it's almost an innate habit for them too.

As for what you can do to mesh with these people... I don't know? If you want to put in a lot of effort, you can look deeply into their interest and find how they connect back to yours, but I would only do that if they're worth it. Like really hot. In the end, they might be jelous because you now have more insight into something they feel they have owner ship than they might have. So, best practice is to learn to turn off your critical side and see what makes them laugh. Friendship habits I think depend on individuals setting expectations between each other rather than just personality.

 

[lillith]

99% of rapists are men, and above 80% of murderers are men so men are dangerous and potentially even biologically defective is this misandric ? ok weirdo I don't even know you I just post that I want maintain relation with my sister and you suddenly talk about women being psycho and control all my posts (my previous post about IQ wasn't published also, 3 topic/posts out of 5 still waiting why ?) and I can't discuss anything now. I don't have patience to wait weeks to someone publish what I wrote. I will find another forum. Good job, keep going !

 

[dr froyd]

@lillith fyi your posts have been removed probably because of spam-bot protection since your account is so new .. i.e. not due to the content of the posts

 

[dr froyd]

I am 30 myself and I have observed extroverts and all these non-NT people all my life, and tried to understand what's going on. I made this discovery not long ago actually: if you listen to their conversations the defining aspects of these are: repetition and predictability. I.e. their conversations are more or less scripted, and as such revolve around subjects that require minimal amount of thinking. Their humour excludes things like irony since irony often is at odds with predictability.

I've simply come to the conclusion that there's different species of people, mentally. For example if dogs could talk they would probably bore you to tears with conversations about food and what patches of piss they have sniffed recently. But.. you wouldn't blame them because they are dogs.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

Never had any of my posts held up in "purgatory" I don't think such a place exists on this forum, your content got removed for sure or was never submitted to begin with. IQ has been talked about so much on this forum they probably removed it.

99% of rapists are men, and above 80% of murderers are men so men are dangerous and potentially even biologically defective is this misandric ?

Well, assuming those statistics are true, they are facts.

Men who aren't dangerous (aggressive is a whole different question) aren't useful to many people. That "defective" label is your own opinion because they are pretty effective at certain things women have trouble doing. Mandatory women have their advantages too, so you don't think I'm calling them useless.

ok weirdo I don't even know you I just post that I want maintain relation with my sister and you suddenly talk about women being psycho and control all my posts

If you're responding to me, it'd be interesting that you'd be interpreting my observations from experience as "women being psycho" because I didn't use that wording and tried to look from their perspective. And you falsely attribute the power to control your posts to me?

I don't have patience to wait weeks to someone publish what I wrote. I will find another forum. Good job, keep going !

If I do speak for all Men on this form, we are sorry we couldn't make this forum more accommodating for you. We will try to be better.

 

[BurnedOut]

I

Ok so the problem is I really don't like people, meeting, interacting with them etc. They are just problem to solve for me I try to avoid them as much as possible. I am really shocked that there are people who really like almost every person on earth.

I made the mistake as you till my 20s and I suffered so much because of it. It was a useless mindset to have. You need people to survive.

Point in case, try living alone with the same mindset and tell me how life goes for you.

 

[ZenRaiden]

You need people to survive.

No shit Sherlock.

I think the options are different, but less, when it comes to people.

Its just different.

The psychology bias here is that most people grow up and learn to live with people, so naturally most people operate on this premise.

That makes people who operate on a different premise, rather alone, in life where you have to rely more on solitude.

The fact you grow up around people is you learn to rely on people too much, but at some point relying on yourself kind of makes life difficult in some ways and pretty awesome in other.

Its not like having people around actually makes your life so much better.

Its a kind of survival bias. People tend to justify their thinking post fact or after fact.

I think not dealing with people is more of a lifestyle choice.

Much like minimalism or what job you work or what type of financial plan you have.

Depends on your objectives really.

However its rational cost benefit type of thing.

Yes you always need people to some degree, but each benefit has its drawback.

On one hand you might slip in shower and die, and no one will find you for weeks, on other hand for each hour you spend with people you can have time alone.

 

[BurnedOut]

@ZenRaiden

What I meant was you need at least a handful of people. I am not talking about being a full-blown extrovert. However when you got good social skills, it is ALWAYS a plus in your life. I mean, are there any downsides to be able to socialize well?

 

[BurnedOut]

Plenty of people who take an MBTI test, after receiving some INXX start behaving like snowflakes (I was one of them), talk trash about about Sensors and extroverted types and funnily enough also make the most number of posts about existential crisis and loneliness. It is a loser snowflake mentality that does not make sense. I personally achieved nothing by doing that in the past.

If you are an Introvert then your orientation is not wanting to be around too many people but that does not every social person out there is an airhead and they are really not wasting their time. It also does not mean that you yourself hate socializing. It just means you get overstimulated rather quickly.

I know plenty of Ambiverts and Extroverts who are actually quite talented as well.

 

[BurnedOut]

If you try to have a real conversation with them they get scared, it's not "normal" to have meaningful interactions, everything should be like it is on TV, pretty plastic and fake. Unfortunately they tend to do well in office environments, good at playing the game, schmoozing the right people and wielding offense like a dagger, all too happy to slip it between your metaphorical ribs

And that is precisely the reason why socializing is much more fun from a tactical point of view for introverts.

I switched gears during my last year in college and maintained my introverted orientation whilst attempting to be recognized and known. And guess what? It worked wonders. I was able to procure notes and other goodies at the last moment several times and it helped tremendously. Note that I did not socialize with them but simply being connected to someone well-connected has lots of perks. In fact, many successful intros pull this off really well in their lives. They don't have a lot of people in their lives but they are able to pull strings when required.

If socializing is not natural to you, treat it like a game of chess. You'll have so much fun tactically socializing when you have studied psychology, body language, proxemics, group mentality, a little dash of political science and sociology here and there and you'll start feeling empowered without feeling oppressed.

There is a reason why Sherlock of Elementary and Sherlock and House MD seem so cool. Some food for though.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I used to think that being around people is good all my life.
But then there is what you think, and then there are facts.

Yes there are perks to interactions.

But I realized two things. I don't really like it.
Maybe not even good at it.
But, definitely not as beneficial as people like to make you believe.
Best way to judge this problem is simply look at what really is.

You may feel its beneficial.
In many cases it is.
But the cases where it is beneficial don't discount the cases where it is not beneficial at all.

Also the amount of perks and benefits you get, is kind of speculative.

Imagine if you were not spending so much time around people how much you could have done more. Not just in terms of productivity, but essentially just not dealing with bullshit.

What people don't factor in, is the amount of time you spend alone is also a perk in and of it self.
The best thing about this perk you can make it beneficial in any way you like. Because its your time and no one is using it to tell you what to do.

Now the idea is not that people don't tell you what to do, the idea is that you have so much more time out of the day, that you can literally fit in like extra life time in that window of time being alone.

Its just simple math.

People on the other hand. Social drag.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Here is the rational for why not doing what people say is good.
First of all most of the time most people are simply dead wrong.
Majority is always wrong.
You might argue, hey, you just want to be different or special snowflake etc.

Reality is being different pays the bills. That is why prostitutes get payed more.
Its the fact prostitutes provide something that is rare.
Your general run of the mill prostitute with a pimp kicking up the dollar to the bigger man might not, but high end escort will make more money sucking dick for lot less time.
You can get a PhD in chemistry, but realistically everyone around you in your class is defacto your competition. You can do many things, but the ones that pay the most are "special snowflake" jobs.
Its not what you learn at school that makes you a good asset for companies, usually it is what you do after school, that no one else is learning that gives you the edge.

Of course everyone hates special snowflake mentality, but this is for people who act like they deserve more for not doing their job.

But in capitalist economy being special, such as having a specialty is what pays.

This is also why some guy banging a electric guitar gets payed more than a guy working for Space X. Its not the value they provide really, its the value they have to society.
Most people don't want to bang an electric guitar for living.
IF everyone could sing and bang a electric guitar they all have no money, because it would not be that special.

This is how specialty work, professionalism have evolved.
This is how Bill Gates has money and others do not.
If everyone was making PC computers and OS for homes, Bill Gates would be dime a dozen and hence not very rich.
This is also why Bill Gates needs to drown the competition buy it off.
If everyone were doing what he does hed be out of profit.

This is also why being an investor pays.
Many people invest today. But being a real investor means you have to have huge capital. Micro investors are dime a dozen. Everyone invests and wants to roll play investor, but real investors are rare, because they need initially huge amount of money to invest.
The fact they have the money that no one else has, is the reason why they are making such profit. Its actually the only reason they make profit, because if no one needed them their whole investing job would be useless.

So its all supply and demand.

 

[ZenRaiden]

There is a reason why Sherlock of Elementary and Sherlock and House MD seem so cool. Some food for though.

They are cool, but also fictional characters. Also being cool is useless.
Unless you are someone being payed to be cool.
Or unless you want to socialize.

 

[ZenRaiden]

This is also why companies that are ecological will make most profit in future.
Not companies that roll play ecology, or companies that invest more money into ecological marketing.
EV posers and wannabe windmill specialist or solar panel diesel engine crooks.

But companies that are ecological for real will make the biggest profit.
In short term marketing ecology, but not being ecological is a sound move, for companies. Most companies jump on this band wagon and will stand to make huge profit.

But only short term.

However once companies that are ecological in reality, not simply on label, will stand to gain more.

The issue is capitalism currently rewards eco posers faster and sooner, than those who have to put in the actual work and effort.

Because actual work and effort and being eco friendly is actually extremely labor and time intensive. As well requiring huge investment.
Ecology is not for free.

 

[ZenRaiden]

also role play not roll play lol

 

[Riiscup]

Lilith, this forum is a form of socialization. We here are people. You have engaged us without being forced and I think you are trying to interact with us. So I dare say you like people to some extent and technology just makes it a little easier for you. I used to feel the way you do but realized that eventually I wore my mind out staying to myself overthinking upon overthinking for too long, all but my lonesome. I needed the mental break and another perspective outside of my own for sheer sanity's sake, so interacting with people became of value to me and I had to learn how to procure that. As hard as it is to believe, there are some worthwhile people out there. When you find them its worth it so don't give up. BTW, you sound a bit emotional on the negative side. Is it that you don't like people or that you aren't good at interacting with them? Or are you having a hard time finding people on your level (so to speak)? I swear I thought people just didn't get me so I used to hold myself back alot mainly to avoid accidently pissing people off because I always seemed to do that (not intentionally). But I noticed that other people had no shame in spewing out their foolishness and pissing me off (case and point: some of the responses you received to your post here) so I stopped caring and just threw myself out there. That actually helped me attract some more interesting people. Of course, this was after I had burned my mind out overthinking upon overthinking about the last time I threw myself out there.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Grass is greener on the other side.