Having Too Awesome Parents Makes Children Feel Intimidated

[Pikachu]

From what I've seen, the children of the successful people tend to be achievers and if they can't be at least at the same level of their parents or siblings, they will get depressed. The tendency of the depression most likely happens when the parents are highly educated.

I understand that this opinion is too weak and has no literature backup. However, I often see the irony that the children of successful and highly educated parents ended up as losers in school and became spoiled bums.

Probably those kids feel intimidated of how awesome their parents are, but they can never be like them. Instead of fight and do the best, they gave up and decided to enjoy their lives. Need not to worry to be dropped-out or unemployed, their parents' money can always support them forever.

What do you think?

 

[TimeAsylums]

I can see this going either way. (meaning, every single way)

Doubt any correlation.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

From what I've seen, the children of the successful people tend to be achievers and if they can't be at least at the same level of their parents or siblings, they will get depressed. The tendency of the depression most likely happens when the parents are highly educated.

I understand that this opinion is too weak and has no literature backup. However, I often see the irony that the children of successful and highly educated parents ended up as losers in school and became spoiled bums.

I would argue that these are examples of children with not so awesome parents. It is up to the parents to support and develop interests and motivation. If parents are acclaimed and neglect their children then this is what can happen.

Probably those kids feel intimidated of how awesome their parents are, but they can never be like them. Instead of fight and do the best, they gave up and decided to enjoy their lives. Need not to worry to be dropped-out or unemployed, their parents' money can always support them forever.
What do you think?

It is one of the responsibilities of the parents to show their kids that it is possible and to make them able to overcome this intimidation. One of the views I would have is that overcoming or bettering the parent is not a solution and is not necessary. How would you estimate or measure the success in a different field of expertise anyway? Parents that choose to rely on money and excuse themselves from the raising process are hurting the children in many ways.

 

[Brontosaurie]

my parents are strictly un-awesome and i feel this has inhibited my mental growth

 

[QuickTwist]

Can we skip to the end and just say survival of the fittest?

 

[Latte]

What OP describes surely must occur in some instances. When it does, I see it kind of as a result of parents not being able to or willing to invest what is required into having their child develop a sense of self-worth that isn't all-consuming and based on relative performance in only one aspect of life to those around them who perform the best.

Personally I am the child of two parents who are society's idea of successful regarding status and income standards, one being very successful in his field compared to his peers, the other being quite successful but with a larger income than the former.

This rarely translated into nurturing my mental growth when I was a child, however. So I was in the same boat as Brontosaurie in that respect. The parent who could best do so was working all the time, the other has always been rather emotionally cold and with low empathic ability without knowing so.
I think since age 10 or so I started to become rather sure I was more intelligent than them. In hindsight one of them was still more intelligent than me. His psyche to me was quite opaque as he never engaged my intellectual side. If he had, maybe I'd be more automatically inclined to be internally humble, and if I felt less capable than I did back then, it might have ultimately resulted in feeling like I couldn't do anything as good as him when I grew up.

 

[MrKappa]

It has crossed my mind that over achieving parents led to mental developments such as ADHD, and BDP.

Some say ADHD is often a mechanism learned by kids to block out overly aggressive, hostile, or more accurately, toxic information.

Maybe it's time to stop labeling kids with mental illnesses, time to start licensing parents, and mandate that all children psychiatrists start handing out neuroleptics to over-achieving parents. lol...

 

[Chrono]

Though my parents have been described as successful people, they have never acknowledged my full intellectual ability because of my low academic scores early in my childhood (possible source may be ADHD). So I grew up with low self-esteem, depression, and ADHD that was never diagnosed, and was constantly chastised. As a teenager, I was furious at how little they believed and encouraged me, especially when it was about my intellectual capabilities, but the fact that they were successful irritated me. The lack of mental nurturing, though, led me to persevere and become self-motivated, though it didn't do much for family warmth. I didn't really think about their "awesomeness", just how they almost never bothered to care about me. To me, they seemed to be lacking in the empathy and love department.

 

[BigApplePi]

From what I've seen, the children of the successful people tend to be achievers and if they can't be at least at the same level of their parents or siblings, they will get depressed. The tendency of the depression most likely happens when the parents are highly educated.

I understand that this opinion is too weak and has no literature backup. However, I often see the irony that the children of successful and highly educated parents ended up as losers in school and became spoiled bums.

Probably those kids feel intimidated of how awesome their parents are, but they can never be like them. Instead of fight and do the best, they gave up and decided to enjoy their lives. Need not to worry to be dropped-out or unemployed, their parents' money can always support them forever.

What do you think?

I think this a tough problem. My dad was extremely popular in a noble profession and admired by a great many. Not only could I not measure up but he snubbed me. Today I think what one has to do is not to compare but to develop and accept oneself. One creates one's own self and honors that and to hell with using someone else as a standard. Instead if one's parents are "awesome", take what is best about them from them and learn from it. Take the worst about them and toss it.

Added: Part of what is going on here is the best parenting is a specialty. Not all parents can do that or are willing to be the best parents. "Awesome" parents may be so occupied with their own specialty that they neglect their children or expect them to hurry up and be like them or ... fill this in ________________ ...