Dealing with inferior Fe.

[QuickTwist]

I find That this is a little different for me than the INTP's but is still an immaturity of outward emotional harmony.

How it manifests itself in me is that often times I don't notice when people are striving towards outward emotional harmony, so I just don't get why they are doing what they are doing. That said, both of my parents have strong Fe (I suspect my father to be Fe Si and my mother to be Fe Ni). Naturally both parents really love the social aspect of family reunions, get togethers, christmas, easter and tomorrow, my uncle's funeral. My parents usually stay a long time at these things which is part of the reason I hate them so much. To go along with this, my brother will complain about so and so person from work or something and I am able to identify what is going on with said person and relay that back to my brother, but all he wants to do is complain. This usually ends up in an argument (usually religious because he takes his faith very seriously and is convinced I know the truth). I also correct him a lot as a training partner at the gym. He hates this, but knows I am right, so he begrudgingly complies (most of the time).

On to the point: I hate being around lots of people, even if it is my family. I have little if anything in common with these people and its not often I can even have a good conversation with people about things that I am actually interested in. I have pri and prod all day just to get on a topic that I don't think is frivolous. Granted, I have had some interesting conversations with some of my family members.

So the question: how does the inferior Fe manifest itself in you?

 

[EggCustard]

I loathe family reunions. In the last one I locked myself up in a room and passed out while on xanax. It was great.

 

[bvanevery]

Sounds like you need more incest to spice up your family life.

I always get these terms like Fe confused. Like I should be taking iron. Checking. Checked.

I can use diplomatic language, try to put on a bedside manner, make an effort to be warm, if I have a motive to do so. Something I will gain by it. But if there's no clear reason I'll gain something, I won't. Because it wastes my energy. It takes a substantial amount of effort to do all of that, and I'm not going to bother for it's own sake. I don't believe in it. That's an intellectual way of saying it wears me the fuck out.

Examples of motive:
- trying to get a date
- trying to make a new person feel welcome in a group
- trying to support a friend
- trying to avoid an escalation of violence

 

[Architect]

I loathe family reunions.

The story of my life. Large extended family, I've had to battle them for all my days. Then I grew up and figured I was free, only to have my siblings and cousins start up a new one, and pressure me to go. Despise reunions, it's all about some sporting events.

Inferior Fe manifests in many ways, too many to recount. It's easy to inflate my ego, I am forced by type to disappoint people but am simultaneously bothered by it, I have a immature need to impress, etc.

 

[WhatWasThat]

Yep I hate family gatherings as well and am dreading Thanksgiving (silly American holiday for those of you unfamiliar ). They mostly consist of small talk about things I don't care about and watching sports I don't care about.

Even if a topic did come up that I was interested in discussing I know that someone would inevitably either get bored or offended/angry at a lengthy discussion of an issue, so I will generally just suffer in silence instead. If they ask "still playing guitar?" I know they want a brief friendly answer not an in-depth discussion on music theory, acoustic theory, and guitar gear (which is what I'd actually want to talk about). Most of my relatives are very strictly religious as well so that leaves out any real philosophical discussion since their church has already figured out everything for them.

I usually just hope my brother (who I think is INTJ) shows up and stick around him, since I know he hates social gatherings almost as much as me.

Then I grew up and figured I was free, only to have my siblings and cousins start up a new one, and pressure me to go

Yep my various cousins have had about 15-20 children too and I can honestly only remember maybe half of their names, which I know probably makes me a horrible jerk. I am just horrible with names though, and I only see them about once a year.