Healing Anxiety (or just intp)

[fluffy]

In my personal experience anxiety comes from not being able to sit still without worrying about doing something. It's about not knowing what to do but having an overwhelming feeling of needing to do something anyway.

I think this comes from the mechanism of addiction. We need to do stuff or we feel bad.

This is what I found out is that in school I was always busy and never had time to sit still. I needed to be productive all the time. Then I crashed, I had nothing to do. This caused depression.

Most people just want to feel normal but also most people don't have thoughts in there heads they are bodily aware and so do drugs to feel good. I was addicted to thinking all the time.

It's the way energy circulation happens. People often do the first thing that pops in there head. This way energy is released automatically. So if they ever feel bad and it will not go away behavior becomes extremely erratic.

I take a slower approach that I hold back what I want to do. Instead I think more. I pay attention to my environment less. The problem is that I almost never get to an answer right away and I think too hard. I cramp up inside. I can pay attention externally if I try but that drains my energy and I sleep more.

After I woke up this morning I thought it would be good to not do anything. I tried not doing anything but I went back to thinking again. I was in bed in the dark thinking. I lack things I need and wondering what I should do with my life. Energy is a big problem.

I don't know what it means to be thinking in an extraverted or introverted context. I am just poor at it. When I try to I get nowhere. So without much effort people just don't think. It's easier.

For some thinking is easy. You just look at what conclusion follows from the given data and then proceed to implement a goal. In my mind it's harder because I am trying to figure out what happens in multiple contexts at the same time but I cannot exactly know where they lead without massive computations I just can't do. I get caught in a spiral of only having tangents and never commit to trying to achieve any one thing. This puts me in the position of only thinking more and more and stuck at home that I cannot do anything but think more and more.

Without anything I ever get done I guess that my anxiety comes from lacking basic needs but never doing anything about it because I am tired thinking all the time because I have nothing else to do because I don't have resources to do anything but think more. I lost all the energy thinking because I am board all the time that I have no energy to get food to get more energy.

In a world where people do a job the energy is spent on that job, where you do and not thinking about what you are doing. I never could do this. I aways had to think about what I was doing, the reason behind it. I could never rote memorize tasks. I don't understand people that can other than maybe that's what extraverted thinking is.

I'd like to have less anxiety but that requires getting money otherwise I will just sit at home and do nothing but think more. But I don't have much I can do to make money. No one will pay me to think. They only want a service or product. And what I do is pretty useless.

It's also hot this summer and I don't want to go outside. With no vehicle as well I don't drive.

This is all still about energy.

I got to get a job somewhere but not physical labor. School maybe but not until I have my house back to myself.

 

[Bluehalite]

What about renting a room to someone you've screened that isn't a danger to you? Then you'd have a little income. Kick out whoever isn't paying rent and get someone else that has a job perhaps. $500 or more per month depending on the area. That would let you get your basics.
Maybe paint and clean so its presentable then look for a bulletin board at a college, and put a tear away ad with your phone number and that you are renting to students with part time jobs? Something like that.

 

[fluffy]

That sounds interesting.

Maybe I could make money that way.

I still have to wait for a time.

Get things approved by the social worker.

 

[kuoka]

Have you tried meditating? I found that stopping all thoughts helps when the mind is overloaded with ideas. Mindfulness meditation is simply a breathing exercise where you shift focus towards how your body feels and what it's doing.

When you sit down try to focus on your breathing, see if you can feel your heartbeat, try to see if you can identify the feeling in your arms and legs separately, are there any pain points in your body, any emotions coming to the surface. Simply acknowledge that they exist and let them go, move on to the next feeling.

Alternatively you can watch your surroundings and see how the leaves are moving on the wind, the quiet rustling sound it produces, the ambient sounds that surround you.

If you can do that without thinking, having any thoughts that can be written down with words and without images coming from your imagination then it was successful. You can always use it to achieve control and calm your mind. Even a minute of this exercise can help.


You could also try a nature walk. See how you feel before and after. Don't walk too long if you don't have the stamina or you will feel worse. You can combine it with meditation. Sunscreen to protect your skin, pepper spray against humans and bears, standard precautions apply.

 

[fluffy]

I watched an interesting video on ADHD

Said the cerebellum is the main cause of most neurodivergent symptoms.

This part of the brain is used to form skills in the cortex so in dyslexia the eyes cannot scan correctly and jumping all over the place. ADHD is impulsively, attention, and working memory. Three areas in the brain that like eye scanning can become disrupted (orbital, cingulate, dorsal lateral), this may be caused by poor cerebellum connection that correct errors when learning.

Autism woud be faces or hearing or visual motor tracking when it comes to social cues.

Not being able to correct errors can lead to overcompensation in other areas or increased super skills for ability others don't have. Music, drawing, sports, math.

I have skills in areas others don't have. But deficits that prevent me from doing normal work at a job.

The best way to help is balance and motion.

Learning skills require repetition and taking the load off past conditioning of stress.

 

[Old Things]

Diet, exercise, and a goal will take you a long way.

It sounds like you don't have many goals. That's a problem. It can rob you of purpose. Why is it that most people can work a job (even if they don't like it), see the sights, get ripped, or invent things? There are a lot of things you can do that you choose not to do. You are not a special snowflake who is so out of touch that you CAN'T do anything. You choose to stay sedentary. I have the same problem, but I don't hyperfocus on myself.

 

[fluffy]

Old things thinks I don't have goals

As usual I don't find what he said helping

Maybe I could get what I want but that takes time which has constraints on reality.

I only have so much I can do that doesn't just magically appears if I try hard.

Don't respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't make this personal.

 

[Old Things]

Old things thinks I don't have goals

As usual I don't find what he said helping

Maybe I could get what I want but that takes time which has constraints on reality.

I only have so much I can do that doesn't just magically appears if I try hard.

Don't respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't make this personal.

Having goals would solve your problem. But you don't want your problem solved.

 

[fluffy]

I think allot about stuff but it's harder to do when I get upset. I mean I don't have that much and I often wonder what my main objective is. Not feeling smart or intelligent lowering self esteem. I was looking at some math for example and I was thinking it be nice to put this into a computer program. But then I got really depressed because I remember spending years on the one design and the breakdowns it caused me. I am over that for now yet I still am going to try and find a way to get the program to function. All I need to do is find help somewhere.

This or that reason for examining why I don't or do. It's really difficult to find those things that give me a sense of satisfaction. This isn't anything to do with feeling bad about myself so I don't do things. I feel bad that I failed so many times it's like why hurt yourself if you don't have to. I am fine here on my phone as long as I have the energy. There are things to do later but not when energy is low.

I walk every day to the store but I don't hav infinity worth on money. If that were not an issue I could make longer trips. That will be fixed soon. I was helping this person a long time and they are going somewhere else. That gives me the opportunity to rearrange my house perhaps go back to school.

There are years of continuous effort I put into other people I am going to put into myself now. That is I do things on large time scales. It's not just about feeling good but having things they way they actually should be. Temporary restraint on my actions now to get what is in my long term interest.

So I think allot about what I have as my ideas that I am trying to achieve. It comes from years of contemplating the purpose of why I exist.

Things happen and so I need to work with what I got. I remember taking care of my mom for a year, then the other person now. Then I really did not know what to do. Periods in my life of staring at walls five hours. That wasn't ideal but coming from where I been at not knowing what to do I don't blame myself. I keep going in the direction I need to.

 

[fluffy]

Old things thinks I don't have goals

As usual I don't find what he said helping

Maybe I could get what I want but that takes time which has constraints on reality.

I only have so much I can do that doesn't just magically appears if I try hard.

Don't respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't make this personal.

Having goals would solve your problem. But you don't want your problem solved.

You just don't understand me.

It's ok to be judgemental as you are but you should look at how what you say affects others as you do not know them personally.

 

[Old Things]

Old things thinks I don't have goals

As usual I don't find what he said helping

Maybe I could get what I want but that takes time which has constraints on reality.

I only have so much I can do that doesn't just magically appears if I try hard.

Don't respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't make this personal.

Having goals would solve your problem. But you don't want your problem solved.

You just don't understand me.

It's ok to be judgemental as you are but you should look at how what you say affects others as you do not know them personally.

Would having goals solve your problem? Yes or no?

 

[fluffy]

Old things thinks I don't have goals

As usual I don't find what he said helping

Maybe I could get what I want but that takes time which has constraints on reality.

I only have so much I can do that doesn't just magically appears if I try hard.

Don't respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't make this personal.

Having goals would solve your problem. But you don't want your problem solved.

You just don't understand me.

It's ok to be judgemental as you are but you should look at how what you say affects others as you do not know them personally.

Would having goals solve your problem? Yes or no?

I have goals.

I work hard on my goals.

That doesn't solve anything just having them.

Having goals in fact makes the anxiety worse.

So do you understand?

 

[Old Things]

Old things thinks I don't have goals

As usual I don't find what he said helping

Maybe I could get what I want but that takes time which has constraints on reality.

I only have so much I can do that doesn't just magically appears if I try hard.

Don't respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. Don't make this personal.

Having goals would solve your problem. But you don't want your problem solved.

You just don't understand me.

It's ok to be judgemental as you are but you should look at how what you say affects others as you do not know them personally.

Would having goals solve your problem? Yes or no?

I have goals.

I work hard on my goals.

That doesn't solve anything just having them.

Having goals in fact makes the anxiety worse.

So do you understand?

Okay, I admit I misread your first post to me. I still think focusing on diet and exercise would be good for you.

IDK why you are like this. You always come here and complain about how bad your life is, and when people give you solutions (especially me), you just say it won't work or something. I am just giving you advice I would give to anyone who is in your shoes. It seems like (and I could be wrong) you just want easy fixes without having to put a whole lot of work into it. That's not generally how problems are solved.

 

[Old Things]

I'm the only one willing to tell you what you need rather than what you want. I think that is why you never want my advice. Lots of people give you advice on your own predetermined criteria. I am not giving you that. I'm giving you what you need, not what you want.

 

[fluffy]

I don't know what you mean by easy fix.

I don't do drugs and I don't know why I don't have the right to express myself when I have really not said anything that wasn't really about complaining. Complaining is emotional and I believe I have been at least somewhat rational without blaming anyone or anything for my situation. If I wanted to do drugs that be easier than having the pain I do now. I just don't understand how you are supposed to access a situation without giving the details as they are. I am not embellishing anything that's not what I do. I simply have my life as it is so I don't look for people to tell me my life is not what it actually is. I have tried to explain it without putting it on anyone else. I don't know what I did wrong as what did I say that was irrational to say about how it's other peoples fault or responsibility. Use of terms like snowflake was just something I felt was uncalled for. How am I in any way not being objective about my own life story? I don't see anything emotionally wrong with what I said to call for anything emotionally charged in response to it.

I would ask that if you want to show any respect twords me to drop the emotionality and simply speak rational. The mood I am in I don't like people trying to make assumptions about my personal character. I find it rude.

 

[Old Things]

I am seeing a pattern. It's not just this one thing. Every week, it's some impossible problem you have in your psyche. To say you don't focus on this stuff more than other people is deluding yourself.

A person can very rationally talk about how terrible their life is, and it could still very well be complaining. Take it from me, who my dad says I am the most content person he knows, that you do complain about your life a lot, whether it is emotional or not. In other words, you have a self-focus that is not healthy.

 

[fluffy]

I don't have to take abusive language from anyone. If you simply just stopped assuming things about me then there be no problem.

Either find a respectful way of communicating or I will need to report you.

 

[Old Things]

I don't have to take abusive language from anyone. If you simply just stopped assuming things about me then there be no problem.

Either find a respectful way of communicating or I will need to report you.

I'm trying to help you. Everyone else is like, "Oh, poor fluffy. He has it so rough. Let's all cater to his desires so that he feels better." Your real problem is what you are telling yourself. You tell yourself negative things about yourself and that is why you feel shitty all the time. It has nothing to do with how much of an anomaly you are and everything to do with what you tell yourself on a daily basis. No one else is going to tell you this, but you are your own worst enemy when it comes to this stuff. If you would instead focus on the positive things in your life, you would be a lot happier. Fact. I recommended this book to you before, but I would highly recommend getting the book "Telling Yourself the Truth," as it has the power to get you to challenge your negative thought patterns.

 

[Old Things]

 

[fluffy]

Yes, I do have trauma that not exactly the point.

I wish I could get rid of it but it is why I try and talk it out rather than hurt other people with what has happened to me.

As long as I get negative responses from others I don't believe that helps me at all rather it could push me over the edge.

If it is the case that I have negative thoughts that doesn't warrant the bad attitude I received.

It only makes thing worse to criticize people when you show empathy instead. A genuine attempt at helping is not to belittle people. I don't know what your problem is but is a sign you are not able to be objective about others in a compassionate manner. I know that if you could you would simply ask questions than make judgements. All this feels like gaslighting to me. I know I may be seeming harsh at the moment but it's how I am being mirrored. You have the same problem old things and need to think about that.

 

[Old Things]

You think I am gaslighting you?

The truth is that I don't like complainers. So I try to do things so they complain less because complaining doesn't actually help anything, and it probably makes things worse.

In any case, you want to stay miserable, so I will just not offer my advice because you don't want it anyway.

 

[fluffy]

All you need do is change how you do it.

Maybe extraverted feeling instead of introverted.

 

[Old Things]

All you need do is change how you do it.

Maybe extraverted feeling instead of introverted.

I'm not going to change the advice I would give to anyone in your situation. You made a thread about it, so I assume you want something done about it. You don't want my advice to eat right and exercise, or to change what you are telling yourself. Those are my solutions to your problem that you don't want. And believe it or not, not everything is mind judo where you do mental gymnastics to be more Fe over Fi or some bullshit. That itself is part of your problem, but I digress.

 

[fluffy]

All you need do is change how you do it.

Maybe extraverted feeling instead of introverted.

I'm not going to change the advice I would give to anyone in your situation. You made a thread about it, so I assume you want something done about it. You don't want my advice to eat right and exercise, or to change what you are telling yourself. Those are my solutions to your problem that you don't want. And believe it or not, not everything is mind judo where you do mental gymnastics to be more Fe over Fi or some bullshit. That itself is part of your problem, but I digress.

I never rejected that advice.

I rejected you approach which was rudeness.

 

[Old Things]

Fine.

 

[SignalCobra]

Thanks for sharing all this. I relate to a lot of what you said. The constant loop of thinking without action can be exhausting. Sometimes just having a small routine or structure helps break the cycle, even a little. You’re definitely not alone in this.