My INTP Emotional Outbursts

[cmdpwnd]

I am normally very receded with my emotions, but in times of scrutiny and endearment I have begun to become extremely emotional. I cried in front of the person I was arguing with and could not control it nor could I convey my thoughts in a coherent way (This is an INTJ and a highly dominant character at that). It was like the flood gates of a dam had burst and there was no one on shift monitoring the situation. On another occasion I experienced such a strong feeling of intimacy and I was restraining my thoughts but when I spoke I could not say what I intended to say and instead forth poured my thoughts as I tried to reword them which again were in incoherent phrases and spurts that may not have related to the situation and were solely about the person.

I have two questions:

Is this normal?

What can be done?

 

[Sinny91]

How old are you?

What's your enneagram?

 

[cmdpwnd]

How old are you?

What's your enneagram?

18 (Well, In a few days.)

5w6

 

[cmdpwnd]

I'm an idiot, here's the breakdown

 

[Sinny91]

I am normally very receded with my emotions, but in times of scrutiny and endearment I have begun to become extremely emotional. I cried in front of the person I was arguing with and could not control it nor could I convey my thoughts in a coherent way (This is an INTJ and a highly dominant character at that).

What were you feeling during the argument?

It was like the flood gates of a dam had burst and there was no one on shift monitoring the situation. On another occasion I experienced such a strong feeling of intimacy and I was restraining my thoughts

What do you mean by 'restraining your thoughts'?

but when I spoke I could not say what I intended to say and instead forth poured my thoughts as I tried to reword them which again were in incoherent phrases and spurts that may not have related to the situation and were solely about the person.

What do you mean 'solely about the person'? Did you get extra personal?

 

[Yellow]

Is this normal?

It depends on who you ask. If you look through old threads, you'll find several talking about episodes of explosive anger, uncontrollable emotional outbursts, crippling existentialism, and similar fits. It would make sense, since in theory, INTP's have extraverted feeling in their stack, and it's crazy immature at first. So intimate interactions (and their absence) can be deeply disturbing, as you lack the emotional development to handle them with grace. You ignore them until you can't, and then you lose control.

However, not all people who identify as INTP experience this issue outside of childhood. (this isn't supposed to be an insult, just encouragement that this can be overcome earlier than others might suggest)

What can be done?

It is a matter of emotional maturity and experience. Young INTPs (and a few too many older ones) think emotional maturity is the denial of emotion in favor of "logic". The problem is, there are few positions more irrational than ignorance of your own nature. Humans have emotional instincts, and you can't control something by pretending it doesn't exist.

The best thing you can do it work through the feelings. Analyze and understand them. Face your feelings, and don't punish yourself for having them. Once they've been identified, categorized, and understood, you'll have a much easier time distancing yourself from them when you need to. This is the buffer-zone you need to remain in control.

 

[cmdpwnd]

What were you feeling during the argument?

Frustration, anxiety, resentfulness of their narrow view and judgement without understanding

What do you mean by 'restraining your thoughts'?

--snip(Lost my train of thought. Sorry)--
Forcing myself not to say what I was thinking and instead say something else as if coming from a different perspective.

What do you 'solely about the person'? Did you get extra personal?

Yes

 

[Sinny91]

Meh, all sounds normal to me.

So, what Yellow said.

 

[cmdpwnd]

Thanks for the awesome answer!