What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

[Seteleechete]

What do you think about this statement? While obviously not always true I do think hardship makes a person stronger in general, particularly mentally. On that note how would you define a "mentally" strong person. Would not experiencing hardship put you at a major disadvantage by comparison? I would say yes.

It might also be a bit of a sink or swim scenario. A trail(such as suddenly losing all belongings) is put before you, you are either forced to adapt and grow or you sink and no-one hears about you again.

I feel stronger having mostly worked through my depression and far more at peace with things which is why I lend some credence to this. In another scenario I might never have gotten over it and been far weaker as a result. If I had never had this depression I would be as oblivious about myself as a year ago.

Is there a better path for growth than hardship? would intentionally seeking hardship for growth be a thought? I don't know how to survive on the streets for example would trying it out for a few days/weeks make me stronger somehow?(not that I have any intention of doing that but the thought is interesting)

 

[crippli]

It's true as long as you don't take it literary. But what get stronger, probably means that something else get weaker. As there is no such thing as a free lunch.

 

[Brontosaurie]

it's one of those things that contradicts itself when it becomes a said thing. you don't say that idiom, you live it and the unsayability is part of it.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

it's one of those things that contradicts itself when it becomes a said thing. you don't say that idiom, you live it and the unsayability is part of it.

Very well put. There are so many things (truisms, tautologies, quotes, teachings) that are pointless or even vane when said and only have meaning when characterising a part of said person.

 

[Alias]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless they cut off both your feet. Then you're just a paraplegic. But going through hardship and learning from it does make someone wiser and more knowledgeable.

 

[Cognisant]

Unless they cut off both your feet.

Then you get carbon fibre feet so what dosen't kill you makes you faster.

 

[eagor]

"the dictionary is the only place where success comes before work" ~ someone

here's a similar quate that i always liked though idk who said it and can't be bothered to look it up, but yeah what bronto said

 

[Yellow]

Is there a better path for growth than hardship?

It depends on who you are.

Resilience is an enormous factor, and until your mettle has been tested, you really don't know what kind of strength you'll find within yourself -- or what kind of weakness. But, resilience is a tricky thing, and the concept of it (and why some have it while others don't) was the first thing that made me actually step into psychology as a career option.

Some people face adversity and are truly changed for the worse. This is increasingly true, the younger you are. Ironically, such people are often the first to say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". But what they really mean is "I've hardened myself at the expense of my self just to survive, and so all that's left of me is this hollow egg-shell, and I know it. I will do/say/use anything to try to get rid of this feeling, even for a moment."

True resilience is the strength to pick yourself back up, and take the lessons you can out of adversity. To keep walking while you face your weaknesses, fears, and demons. To force yourself to grow

As a side note: compartmentalizing and pushing aside the issues that "didn't kill you" is a survival mechanism -- a band-aid. You can't expect healthy growth while trying to deceive yourself.

TL;DR -- Adversity doesn't strengthen anyone, but it gives you a chance to test your strength.

 

[cheese]

Yellow made the post I wanted to.

But what they really mean is "I've hardened myself at the expense of my self just to survive, and so all that's left of me is this hollow egg-shell, and I know it. I will do/say/use anything to try to get rid of this feeling, even for a moment."

Agreed. My test for genuine growth is the presence of bitterness. Plenty of people are hardened and bitter, but they're not stronger, they've just built up workable defense mechanisms which protect them from harm by keeping them in a permanent state of misery (and thus unable to be harmed further); however they're correspondingly prevented from growth as they're also afraid of new experience, or addicted to novelty as a salve for their misery. New information isn't given the chance to influence their core beliefs in any way as that core is now a calcified fortress protecting their hurt.

I believe one reason for this bitterness is when the lessons learnt aren't truly accepted as a facet of reality; rather, the self tacks them on to its original beliefs in an attempt to prevent another 'surprise attack' in the future, and the resultant discord creates pain/anger which lasts as long as the discord exists. I think if core beliefs are genuinely transformed, this bitterness dies - but this requires the death of the previous self as well, or at least a deep overhaul of beliefs.

I'd change the general statement to:
What doesn't kill you makes you less surprised by future shittiness.

This applies whether you truly grow or not, and whether you survive a future problem or not.

 

[Grayman]

I agree with Yellow but I think a more positive use of this saying is to overcome fear that prevents you from growth. For example: Social anxiety or fear of public speaking where if you get through it you might find yourself stronger and able to do it again with much more ease. A more common example might be rides at the fair.

Yes you are numbing yourself to your emotions. This is not always a bad thing. Some emotions might not be good for you long term or might be overly strong and need to be diminished to a degree. It is surgical thing but those hollow shells are more a result of an all encompassing numbing. Likely their hardships have had a strong consequence in almost all aspects of their life.

 

[Hadoblado]

I think that the term is too broad stroke. As mentioned, you can have your spine snapped without dying, and it doesn't make you stronger. A useful revision would be "that which does not make you weaker, makes you stronger".

Of course, at that point it becomes a question of opportunity cost. You've only got so much time to spend on this planet, and while sitting on a park bench will spend some of that time in return for a little layed back experience and possibly even insight, there are many ways you could become stronger still, using that time spent.

Even if you optimise your life towards strength, you beg the question "towards what end?". Strength is usually a means to an end, not an end in itself.

So "That which does not kill weaken me, makes me stronger, at the cost of lifespan and opportunities that otherwise would have made me stronger still. Furthermore, this strength can only lend itself toward a goal that is ill-defined, and it is fatuous to pursue this strength with no regard for life quality. Mileage may vary".

 

[The Gopher]

I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT!

 

[Brontosaurie]

what doesn't inflict permanent disability is to be considered worthwhile as a learning experience

not that catchy

@Gopher lol

 

[Pyropyro]

Is there a better path for growth than hardship?

Yes, it's called learning from other people's hardships and how they prospered against them. Unfortunately, some people cannot easily internalize these life lessons.

Would intentionally seeking hardship for growth be a thought?

Depends on the hardship involved. I believe that we should seek "training" hardships in order to face real ones. Such training hardships should be able to hone our skills safely. For example, exercise is a training physical hardship which can prepare in facing certain emergencies like running away from a fire.

Heck, even artificial hardships such as MMO games are effective in preparing for real hardships. In these games, players have to deal with politics, diplomacy, resource management and other factors that are necessarily in real life jobs.

 

[Sinny91]

I think in general the statement is very true.

I've faced many hardships, but each any every one of them has contributed toward my balls of steel. Sometimes I resent those hardships, but as my friends have kindly pointed out, it is those experiences that have shaped my character over the years.

 

[Seteleechete]

Hmm. if the statement is true or not seems to depend mostly on how you define "strength". You can, for example, define it as hardening of mind or as personal growth/adaptability/gaining social competence. It's a very undefined term in this context you might become stronger in one view/way and weaker in another.