Thouhts on customer service while shopping/consuming services?

[TAC]

Some pretext before I get to the meat and potatoes:
I've had a really strange day. I went on a date with a stranger (not how I usually enter relationships, normally they just occur naturally). We went to a nice (overpriced) Sushi restaurant in Houston chosen by her (I'm new to Texas, and don't really eat out often so I let her decide). I'm fairly certain the date went terribly, but only time will tell and I enjoyed the person, but not the date (probably seemed like i didn't enjoy any of it from the opposite end of the table). Our conversation just seemed like a 1 sided Q&A I was the A. I just didn't feel like I could act naturally in this place. The atmosphere was nice, but it was easy to get distracted by everything going on and wait staff always being at your side and it just seemed like there was a lot of external pressure to have a good time, that I couldn't actually enjoy it (Food was great though). Which got me thinking and led to here.

Now to my gripe:
I hate walk in businesses that are designed to please customers. I cant tell whether its because
A: INTPs are rare breeds and marketing departments can't find ways to suitably engineer comfortable environments for them along with other types (or completely ignore us)
B: I usually don't shop (I don't shop I buy) or putz into businesses for fun, but with purpose. So I am not inviting employees to come to my aid

For context I'll give some examples:
Example) A month or so ago I needed to acquire a new pair of dress shoes, so I went shopping knowing roughly what I wanted. I was in a nordstroms in the shoe section, and it felt like there were vultures in the form of associates surrounding me. I couldn't look at a pair of shoes for more than 3 seconds without someone asking me if I found everything ok (i wouldn't be here if I found it) or if I need help finding something. It drove me mad and I left without shoes. Ironically, why do cashiers always ask if you found everything ok while you are paying them for the things you found?

So I've come here to ask your opinions on shopping/customer service and how to counteract those experiences when they are necessary AKA when buying online is not an option.

P.S. I may just be bitter because I would like to spend more time with this person and this may be a root of why that will not happen.

 

[Cognisant]

I worked in retail for six years.

I couldn't look at a pair of shoes for more than 3 seconds without someone asking me if I found everything ok (i wouldn't be here if I found it) or if I need help finding something.

1. They're bored.
2. Upper management said they'd visit which makes the onsite management nervous so they're pushing the sales staff to be extra attentive.
3. If one of them is literally following you around they think you might be a thief, this rarely happens to legitimate customers as actual thieves tend to be either very brazen (stupid) or very sneaky & professional, we never catch the latter in the act.

Ironically, why do cashiers always ask if you found everything ok while you are paying them for the things you found?

Management tells them to get "add on" sales, occasionally someone will actually ask for something they couldn't find but that's like 0.1% of the time.

So I've come here to ask your opinions on shopping/customer service and how to counteract those experiences when they are necessary AKA when buying online is not an option.

Ask lots of dumb questions and they'll avoid you, nobody likes dealing with a talkative dumbass, it's the quiet/nervous ones that make easy prey

 

[TAC]

Valid points. They are businesses trying to maximize profits. And I get the add on sales (My first job was at a Halloween store and they live for those). It's just so taxing on the receiving end.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

1. I don't follow how you having a bad date relates to retail staff being pushy.

2.

Ironically, why do cashiers always ask if you found everything ok while you are paying them for the things you found?

Because people don't always find everything okay. You're buying the things you found but what if there was another thing you'd been looking for and hadn't found but were still buying the things you did find?

I was fairly passive as far as salesmanship goes at my last job but I occasionally would ask that and there were many times where the people hadn't found everything they were looking for, either because we sorted them into an irregular place or because they missed it or whatever.

One particular time I remember asking that the guy was already buying a few records but he said he couldn't find the Doors albums and you can bet your ass we carried Doors albums so I showed him where they were and he bought an album and he was happy because he gets a record he likes and my boss was happy because he makes money and I was happy because I successfully navigated a social interaction with a stranger.

Edit: +1 for the Okarin avatar.

 

[Sinny91]

Yea, I fucking hate having to interact with staff when I don't need/want to.

If I don't avoid the shopping exercise completely, I avoid the staff by taking up a brisk walk, and either by looking straight past them or straight though them when passing them.

When asked questions, act like I only caught the gist, give them an extreme short answer, and turn away from them looking obliviously aloof.

I cant always readily employ this method when I'm sometimes caught off guard and in not such a business like mood. Then I'm doomed to play part in someone else's contrived social frivolities...

I skipped the shop I was walking past last night, even though I wanted a treat, because a) the guy likes to chit chat, and I really didn't want to 2) Florescent lights, was not feeling them.

One thing I hate about eateries , is when the staff come over mid mouthful to ask you if you're enjoying your food. Does it look like I'm enjoying my food? It's in my fooking mouth isn't it.

Maybe they ask at that specific time, because even if you did have a complaint, your mouth is too full to answer back.

I had the most annoying run in with a member of the floor staff when I was shoe shopping the other month. She was up my arse like a blue arse fly. I told her like 10 times that I was lookin for something specific and yet she wouldn't cease and detest with the running commentary on fashion whilst throwing 10 pairs of irrelevant shoes my way. Ugh.

Managers, scripted lines, and upsells are just the worse tho. I'd love to actually meet the people who put that shit into policy and punch them in the face. Upsell this bitch.

 

[Bad Itch]

I go with a solid "Oh, I'm GOOD for now... thanks." But you say it in a way that says "You've just been stabbed in the face and set on fire in my imagination. Dry run successful."

 

[Cognisant]

I'd love to actually meet the people who put that shit into policy and punch them in the face. Upsell this bitch.

It would be appreciated, being a retailer is actually kinda fun when you don't have a floor manager threatening you with reduced hours if you don't push the sale.

It's especially annoying when floor manager policy contradicts corporate policy, the higher ups know the way to build a business is to get repeat customers, even if someone doesn't buy anything if they leave happy chances are they will come back and when everyone's coming back to your store that's when you make a lot of sales.

But the floor managers want to impress the middle managers and the middle managers want to impress the higher ups so the middle managers put pressure on the floor managers to make more sales happen without specifying how and thus corporate policy goes out the window, all that matters is looking good on the quarterly report.

 

[Tannhauser]

I know someone who is a salesman of sorts, and from seeing him work it seem quite clear to me that a lot of people end up buying shit just by virtue of getting into a pleasant conversation with the salesman. If the salesman doesn't engage them, they just walk away.

For me it's the exact opposite, of course. I want zero interference when I study an object. So I think OP is right about the idea that a lot of businesses are optimized for a completely different type of customer than INTPs.

 

[EditorOne]

There's practical solutions and expedient solutions.

Restaurant: Pick a corner table, ask for one if they don't show you to one. Get in the corner. Now whatever happens, you'll see it coming. Just that tiny little bit of preparedness helps you deal with waitstaff.
Let them do their minimum thing: If they are asking you if everything is all right, it's because they're ready to take it back if it's not instead of having you leave unhappy. And if it is right, they'd like a kind word as well, they're demonstrably more "human" than the average INTP.
If necessary you can seize the initiative with a simple comment, "We're good for now, could you please stay aware of us so I can let you know when we need you?"

Shopping: I actually lie and tell hovering staff I'm just looking around killing time while my wife does the real work. Sometimes it's even true. Either way they know I'm not a goal-oriented shopper.

The ones that are really pushing at you may be working partly on sales commissions. I had that recentlyt. Just wanted a damn pair of sneakers. For me that means a lot of trying on, because I have to accommodate 9.5 WWW plus room for orthopedic inserts. I solved it by telling her I'd need some time and would she be around in 15 minutes when I needed to check out? Worked a charm. I very much suspect she was on part commission, as she walked me right through checkout. She was actually needed before the 15 minutes, as that store has an odd policy of keeping one shoe back in the storeroom on their higher priced items. Too many people lacing up and walking out, leaving their old shoes in the box. :-)

The other thing I tell store staff is that I've got what I need, now I'm just looking around for anything I can't live another minute without. Sends them away happy.

Keep in mind I look fairly normal and I've had a lot of years pretending to be normal. If I was 19 and feeling the way I did when I was 19, I'd have less patience and would probably get tailed as a potential shoplifter quite often.

I have no advice on the date. :-) Just remember the best thing to do is get the other person talking about themselves. In the muggles world, that also works a charm, and it seems she was trying to do that with you, but you may have done the INTP thing and reacted like it was an inquisition. Turn the tables. My old, old advice is to read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and INfluence People," not because we particularly want to win friends or influence anyone but because it offers excellent techniques for deflection that actually can result in find out interesting stuff, ie., even interesting to an INTP.

:-) Also, learn patience.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I think there's a significant difference between service workers and salespeople, but they seem to be getting lumped in together in this thread. The latter is a blight upon society, but the former deserves to be treated with respect. They may work in retail hell, but that is no excuse to mistreat them, even in an indirect fashion. The shit they have to deal with is ludicrous. It's not going to kill intpness to be civil and acknowledge their existence as living, breathing people.

Few things grate on my nerves as much as 'customers' abusing staff. It's basically culturally sanctified in America.

 

[TAC]

Thanks for all the feedback. Solid advice for my struggle with the commercial consumer industry. Glad I am not the only one who thinks this way. As for the dating problem after thinking a bit, I just don't think dinner dates are an ideal first date for me because I prefer to learn about people through activities and observation supplemented by conversation and eating food while asking people questions doesn't really accomplish that so I think I've learned my lesson on that front.

 

[Cognisant]

First dates always suck.

 

[leezthebunny]

Haha, I also think dinner dates are not the best, maybe for our type. They're quite intimate, as in it is just you and your date. You are basically sitting there, waiting for food or eating the food. Other than that you have to be able to keep a conversation going, which is usually small talk (and we all know how much that can turn off an INTP). Even with friends, being in a restaurant and talking there isn't really comfortable. I guess because there aren't much distractions (especially if there are awkward silences and there isn't much to escape out of it). Basically, the whole focus is on each other, which makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like I have to put on a certain mask on myself to continue to be good enough or impress. The environment/situation makes me stiff. Then there is the "who's paying" dilemma.

Anyway, this is why I love bringing dates to the movies. I can actually have a brief judgement of the person's humor or fear or interests while watching a movie together. And the movie takes off the focus from being entirely on you while still enjoying. Though this kind of date does have its setbacks, since the purpose of a [first] date is to get to know each other better and enjoy each other's company. A movie can be too distracting from achieving that purpose, so yeah.

 

[leezthebunny]

As for retail/salespeople,

I was a cashier for a gas station (the whole thing was a wreck) and although my boss trained us on customer service, I tried not to force any of the promotions that we had even though it was recommended. Not just because I was lazy (bad habit) and not the most social person in the world, but because as a customer who encountered those kind of salespeople who check up on you a lot, I usually want a simple transaction with no fuss. I have other matters or I'm busy and need to go, or I just want to explore the place on my own (and that can take a really long time due to my indecisiveness). So yeah, I generally leave most customers alone unless I feel like I'm being watched by my supervisors or I see that the person is interested. I do feel bad sometimes because I feel like I'm neglecting the promotion, but I realized that people really don't care that much, they just want to get in and get out. Brining up the promotion also catches them at an interaction they aren't ready for and usually decline anyway.

But for those who do always check up on the customer, that takes a lot of guts, in my opinion. They are also most likely aware that they seem annoying, but it's their job to make sure you are enjoying your experience and customer service is highly expected in such workplaces. but if ever, if they come to you, you can simply just smile and say "it's okay, I'm good" and they'll usually leave you alone after.

 

[TAC]

^
I got deja vu while reading this leez