The daaaark side.

[FunkmasterMayhem]

I've never contributed to a forum before. This may be because I never usually really listen to people. I stopped when they stopped listening to me. Anywho..
I'm mainly looking for similarities in you people and my self. Trying to help myself reach my full potential. But I can't get over MYSELF. You all seem more or less "with it."
I spend 99% of my time between work and my bedroom. Both places I tend to smoke copious amounts of weed and cigarettes. I don't do anything because it limits my freedom to do everything. I think. I predict. And man, I don't laugh much anymore.
I almost feel like it a mistake to ask persons similiar to me. Or to ask at all.
I kill time, and I try to kill my brain. I have zero outlets for my mind.
What the hell can be done?

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

Find a hobby. It can be as simple as... say, reading & writing on a forum!

I understand the "I don't want to do anything b/c it restricts my freedom." It's hard to get around that. I think it would be good for you to get involved with something that's not alone anyway...

But if you don't want to go down that road, then we're back to hobbies. What kind of interests do you have? What do you want to do? You could get into papercraft... reading... etc.

But I've been where you are, during most of my time at this forum I was smoking weed ~5 nights / week. (This was during my junior and senior years at college.) You get lazy, don't feel like doing anything, and your dopamine gets all messed up. I used StumbleUpon a whole bunch, watched a lot of movies & TV on Hulu.com, but eventually I started reading scientific papers in my field. Still, my GPA dropped from 3.5 to 2.5. EVEN WORSE, I missed a lot of important concepts in Biochemistry 3, the final biochemistry course in the series. When given an opportunity to learn, to be intellectual, I was not up to the task.

I graduated college, so it was time to be done with that phase of my life. Not to mention my weed highs were becoming extremely introspective, schizophrenic and paranoid. I started to believe that I could hear other people's thoughts if I was high and close to them. I was also haunted by a voice that would say terrible things to me.

This forum might help you: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/forumdisplay.php?forumid=47

 

[bluesquid]

Not to mention my weed highs were becoming extremely introspective, schizophrenic and paranoid. I started to believe that I could hear other people's thoughts if I was high and close to them. I was also haunted by a voice that would say terrible things to me.

That is exactly how I get when I smoke! I berate myself really bad.

I spend many days entirely inside, in the winter at least. I live in the same building I work in, so I might go 3 days without leaving the building. I think of it as going in my cave, and staying there until i do something of value.

"I don't do anything because it limits my freedom to do everything." I get that. I hate having to do anything. so uninspiring.

 

[warryer]

Man and I thought I was the only one who got paranoid like that. I actually had to quit because every time I would smoke it was like going to my own personal hell. (

My dreams/goals are about the only thing that keep me sane anymore. I spend most of my time thinking about what I'm going to do after I graduate. Where am I going to live? What am I going to do? What projects can I dream up myself? Really the possibilities are endless.

The doing part is the hardest but, once you get started you gain momentum and it gets harder to stop.

Pick something anything that you are passionate about and go for it. Doing something is better than doing nothing by over thinking and paralyzing yourself.

As far as getting over youself. I'm the same way. Generally I don't listen to people unless they have done something that deserves my respect. For me this usually comes in the form of me shit talking with them. If they sling it right back at me I'll laugh and give them the 'you're alright' nod.

 

[Saoshyant]

I've dealt with drug and video game addiction. I can not function properly with either in my life anymore. It's an all or nothing phenomenon. The only thing that worked was to stop cold turkey. My dopamine pathways and HPA-axis are handicapped as a result and I deal with a lot of fatigue and stupidity. Like Reverse said, you have to find a new hobby to replace your habitual patterns.