Eugenics. And you need to start now.
First mate with as many women as possible. About a million or so. (shouldn’t be too difficult right?)
Then with the collective resources of your million offspring build an empire within your country.
Go on to breed the strongest and healthiest of them with only the most robust and durable people of the outer populace. I’m thinking Eskimos, they have to be pretty damned hearty.
This will create an army of selectively bred and fiercely loyal soldiers to march under your war banner. You will be known only as Pop Pop and march your armies to the countries of the world and crush them under its iron fist.
Probably.
As far as my position, with an inexpensive lobotomy I believe that I would make an excellent mindless drone.
This plan seems like an unnecessary time-sink.
Step 1: Mate with about a million or so women
We'll assume you have sex three times a day and each time is a guaranteed success for impregnation (and this is being very, exceedingly, incredibly generous).
(1000000women) * (1day/3women) * (1year/365days) = 913.25years
Right off the bat you see that you hit a snag. (ie. you won't live long enough to reach phase 2 of your multi-phase plan).
Let's assume though that one million is a goal to shoot for and that you can carry out phase 1 while continuing the rest of the plan.
Next.
Step 2: Wait
So it's been 9 months since we began Operation Babystürm, our first three children are being born. Tomorrow is the next three, and three more the day after forever.
Regrettably, newborns are not very useful.
These little parasites are, at present, a drain on resources and they won't become useful until about age 13 or 14 we'll say.
So it's 13 or 14 years later. You now have three useful children. But you also have
(13 or 14 years) * (365days/1year) * (3infants/1day) = 14235 or 15330 useless infants to provide for and raise. You must raise them, because how else would you instill the proper devotion to your empire in them? Oh, also whilst raising them you are continuing to find and impregnate 3 women a day (reusing the same 280 or so women could work to cut down on the "finding more willing women" aspect, but would complicate things as far as the raising of new parasites and nursing and also being pregnant and by the time you reach 13 years you have each woman looking after their 50 or so children that they've been continually pumping out. Now I'm no expert, but I think that is probably bad for the women and also the kids).
It's at this time that you have a choice. Either you can use these teens to start working in order to recoup the losses you've incurred by raising an ever-increasing horde of minions, OR you move on to the next phase.
I'll tell you now that you should move on to the next phase. If you send them off to work you will, at best break even (3 teens getting jobs per day and 3 new babies per day) but, more likely, you'll flood the job market, most of these kids won't get jobs and the ones that do will now be working for miserably low wages and you will continue to lose money/resources as well as delaying the next phase and, quite honestly throwing the future of your plan into jeopardy.
So.
Step 3: Weed out the strongest and healthiest of your offspring
So yeah, now (while you're impregnating 3 women a day and raising 14000+ underage minions) you have to weed out the strongest of the teen minions.
This is too much work for me to do properly. You are clearly a superb human being fit to rule the world, so obviously all of your progeny are the toughest, smartest, best humans around. Let's start their mating.
Step 4: Begin mating your children with Eskimos
I will assume a roughly 50/50 male/female split in your children and we'll ignore the obvious societal, moral issues of having a bunch of 14 year olds being used to procreate.
So half of your children can produce 1 child per 9 months(we'll say per 1 year, to (hopefully) make the math easier). And the other half can produce children much quicker.
A cursory google search tells me there are about 80,000 eskimos (not strictly speaking "eskimos" but people of similar geneological origin) in North America. Saying that roughly half of them are women and ignoring that some of those women may be too old to produce valid/healthy offspring, that gives us 40,000 eskimo women. These poor ladies do not have the same luxury that the ones you're impregnating do. We need as much eskimo DNA as possible and god dammit, they're going to give it to us.
The first day of your children's biologically valid year we have 3 kids. 1.5 are femal and another 1.5 male. (on the small scale using 1.5 females and 1.5 males is absurd, but when we get into bigger numbers it works out fine).
Every day we get 1.5 new males to impregnate women, so assuming each one impregnates 1 woman per day, your first year's worth of male kids will produce
(1.5 * 365) + (1.5 * 364) + (1.5 * 363) + ... = 1.5 * (365+364+...) = 1.5 * 366 * (366/2) = 100192ish children a year.
Well, fuck. We've only got 40,000 women. Looks like we're restricting ourselves to 40,000 per year from the male line. (That's good news though, in a retroactive sense. During the raising of your children you can choose to provide for and raise only 40000 of your male children, seeing as their offspring are the ones we need.
You're also producing about 547 female children capable of childbirth per year so after the first year you have 40547 eskimo minion infants. Another year grants you an additional 41094 for a total of 81641 eskimo minions.
Step 4: Use the eskimo half-breeds to take over the world.
We'll assume the cross-bred warrior children will have to age a bit more before they're combat ready. So yeah, it's 18 years later. It's been 32 years since you first began this plan. Your first battalion of 40547 eskimo soldiers is ready to go.
Your money ran dry like 30 years ago. The land around your home was foraged barren in order to support the ever increasing population. Your dick chafes from how much sex you're having not to mention the STDs that are almost certain when fucking 3 new women every day.
Are you happy?
Was this all worth it?
No, because you're poor and dead and not the master of the world.
if you are against me,you are against the cat.
