Should I move out of my parents' house and move in with two circus clowns I just met?

[Citronelle]

I... Well, pretty much what the title said I guess. I'm 18 and I live with my really strict parents (mom: ESFJ dad: ISxP) now. We don't get along for A LOT of reasons but I think we would get along better if I didn't live with them. So, I've been looking into places to rent and I met these two circus performers. They offered to let me rent out a room in their place. They're kind of strange (I mean, they do balloon art, dress up like clowns, ride around in giant bikes that blare heavy metal music) but they seem really nice and, they seem to like me for some reason.

So I'm kind of trying to decide between staying with my parents and having them cover some (probably most) of my college expenses, or moving out, taking this year off (just finished high school) and working and trying to be independent. I feel like I want to have more interesting experiences, to sort of force myself out of my comfort zone, and this moving situation would certainly be a means to that end. If I stay with my parents my life will remain stagnant, and I just really really can't handle living with them. But I also feel like the most reasonable, low-risk option would be to keep letting my parents pay for my stuff until I have my college degree and then pursuing independence.

I guess I'm just looking for some kind of outside perspective, and not necessarily even on my situation. I mean, how did you decide what you wanted from your life, and how you wanted to live it?

 

[Cognisant]

(I mean, they do balloon art, dress up like clowns, ride around in giant bikes that blare heavy metal music)

*jawdrop*

Do it, be awesome, granted not doing it may be the more sensible option but you've got your entire life to be sensible, but you can only be awesome right now.

 

[Minuend]

The only thing that would leave me hesitating is the level of trustworthiness of those two clowns.

Living independently is worth the additional costs.

 

[Cavallier]

Independence all the way. Plus clowns!?!? How could you turn that down? If you are chafing under your parents now imagine what it will be like in 2 years or more. However, you might find that if you can stick it out at your parent's for at least a year you'll find other people in school that would make better (a.k.a. more reliable) roommates and you can move out then. This isn't a now or never sort of decision. Except for the whole clown thing. That's pretty much nor or never. I do want to point out that it doesn't really matter who your roommates are (be they clowns, football players, or ballerinas) so much as how well you can stand to live together. Do these clowns go out a lot and leave the apartment all quiet? That might be nice but if they party a lot and you have to worry about random strangers puking in your room that would get old fast.

 

[Jennywocky]

I would make sure there are only two.

You can fit a lot of clowns into a tiny closet.



PS. This thread rocks. Yes. If they're dependable, go for it. You will have an awesome story to share for the rest of your life. Hell, I'd do it... especially if they didn't have a lease-lock on you and you could move out after any month you desired.

 

[kantor1003]

Clowns??? awesome :P I'd bet they have a very unconventional approach to life; free-thinking, artistic, creative - I don't see how you could turn it down.. they will probably change your concept of..hmm..well, anything and everything. They will most likely be very good for your personal development. The people you refer to as "strange" now, are often more sane then the people you see as "normal".

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I guess I'm just looking for some kind of outside perspective, and not necessarily even on my situation. I mean, how did you decide what you wanted from your life, and how you wanted to live it?

I'm in the same position right now (ESFJ mom also), fresh out of high school. I'm trying to move out now but college is draining all my energy so that I don't think I'll be able to work enough hours. I'm thinking of renting with my cousin.

It's like I'm in a point of stagnation which is mostly a result of my being dependent on my mom. The sooner I leave the sooner I'll gain some respect from my self and others. I need my independence for obvious reasons, but I also feel people will not see that I actually am self-sufficient until I'm out on my own, plus I need privacy!!

I say go for it.

 

[shoeless]

make sure it's legit.

then definitely go for it.

 

[Lostwitheal]

In a word: Yes.

I've tried the responsible, safe, socially acceptable route. I have a house, a car, a wife, a decently paying job which I'm good at but bores the shit out of me most days, a cat, a DVD collection, Swedish fucking furniture, and you know what? I'm not really all that happy.

Now I think all I need to do is get rid of a load of this stuff and find out where I lost myself. That's gonna be hard. Right now moving in with two clowns sounds like a damn good idea.

 

[Spectrum]

Hhmm. I listen to extreme metal and I'm not all that strange; people like me for some reason.

This thread reminds me of the book Fight Club.....anyway.... I'd say go with the sticking it out with your parents, but only you can answer this question (especially since I do not know the details). Either way you'll look back and say "I wonder how my life would be had I done that".

By the way, having a college degree isn't always as effective as it seems. Plenty of people are jobless and hold degrees. College =/= stability, it means education. Response variables by college degrees are subjugated to fluctuation. Doing what makes you happy is more important in my opinion, and for me that means getting a degree in computer science or something similar. My cousin chose the independence route and seems to be pretty happy.

 

[Words]

NO, stay away. Especially if they "like" you.

 

[AlisaD]

I went with the clowns a few times already, never regretted it.

Now I'm a bit stuck in a normal life and can't wait to find another circus to move to.

So I say - go for it.

 

[Thaklaar]

2:00 am. You wake up. Two clowns, in full makeup, are standing at the foot of your bed. One smiles. There are no pants.

 

[Lostwitheal]

Rape is no laughing matter.

Unless you're raping a clown.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

2:00 am. You wake up. Two clowns, in full makeup, are standing at the foot of your bed. One smiles. There are no pants.

lmao

 

[pjoa09]

i wonder how it is like to argue with a clown.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Do it, it will make an interesting (and funny) story you can tell about yourself that will come in handy during those awkward 'getting to know you' social conversations.

Even if these clowns turn out to be killers, at least your friends and family will have an awesome story to tell. Instead of breaking down in tears when they speak of your horrible, bloody and probably painful death, they'll break out in a fit of the giggles.

 

[s0nystyle]

Imo just make sure you have a job first before you move out

 

[Crazythinker1]

I say go for it. Bound to be fun anyway. Just use a bit of common sense and find out more about them and thier lifestyle.

 

[Citronelle]

So, I decided to go for it, and I told them I would move in! I'll start moving my stuff in tomorrow. I don't actually get my own room but rather a partitioned-off space in their living room, but to compensate for that the rent is pretty cheap and it is in fact on a month-to-month basis..

I've tried the responsible, safe, socially acceptable route. I have a house, a car, a wife, a decently paying job which I'm good at but bores the shit out of me most days, a cat, a DVD collection, Swedish fucking furniture, and you know what? I'm not really all that happy.

A pretty thought-provoking post. Made me question and think about what I ultimately want, what I think would make me happy... Thanks for your insight.

2:00 am. You wake up. Two clowns, in full makeup, are standing at the foot of your bed. One smiles. There are no pants.

I found that totally hilarious, albeit creepy... I guess I should have described them as 'circus performers' because they aren't exclusively clowns I don't think. But, I'm actually surprisingly not concerned about their trustworthiness. They are rather unconventional, and by "strange" I really meant to say "not what I'm used to", which certainly appeals to my curiosity - and I'm sure that being in such a different environment will be interesting or, at the very least, a good story.
I guess most of my hesitation about this decision was based on whether or not I should move out at all - whether living independently would be worth the additional stress, work, and costs that it entails.

Sorry if I rambled a bit, I'm just pretty excited. Thanks for everyone's comments... of course I made the decision on my own, but it helps to have some perspective!

 

[AlisaD]

^ Good for you - congratulations.

Keep us posted on how things are going, though, in case those clowns start acting funny I'd be glad to send you a giant squeaky hammer for self-defence.

 

[Lostwitheal]

A pretty thought-provoking post. Made me question and think about what I ultimately want, what I think would make me happy... Thanks for your insight.

Then my job here is done

 

[Words]

...you fools. how dare you manipulate a child to his doom...

 

[Citronelle]

Keep us posted on how things are going, though, in case those clowns start acting funny I'd be glad to send you a giant squeaky hammer for self-defence.

I'll make sure to do that, giant squeaky hammers tend to be very useful vs. clowns
Maybe I should start a blog about the experience, "A Room With a View - of Clowns" or something like that haha.
Really though they are some of the nicest people I have ever met!

...you fools. how dare you manipulate a child to his doom...

I don't know what is up with that smiley but it's fucking mesmerizing, I just spent like 5 minutes watching it! Anyways, no worries there was no manipulation involved here, I accepted the place about an hour after creating this thread, I kind of just wanted some reassurance and perspective

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Maybe I should start a blog about the experience, "A Room With a View - of Clowns" or something like that haha.

That would be one interesting blog.

 

[Cavallier]

I wonder how this turned out.

 

[Words]

I wonder how this turned out.

Considering the nature of "unknown clowns", I suspect the ending to be similar to your eeyore. If my suspicion is correct, then you must repent and assume responsibility.

 

[MunkySpanker]

LOL -- two circus performers! if you're serious then YES. What a great story this will make. "Hey, one time I lived with these 2 circus performers..."

"They seem to like me for some reason." -- hahah, because generally people aren't nice to circus performers.

I... Well, pretty much what the title said I guess. I'm 18 and I live with my really strict parents (mom: ESFJ dad: ISxP) now. We don't get along for A LOT of reasons but I think we would get along better if I didn't live with them. So, I've been looking into places to rent and I met these two circus performers. They offered to let me rent out a room in their place. They're kind of strange (I mean, they do balloon art, dress up like clowns, ride around in giant bikes that blare heavy metal music) but they seem really nice and, they seem to like me for some reason.

So I'm kind of trying to decide between staying with my parents and having them cover some (probably most) of my college expenses, or moving out, taking this year off (just finished high school) and working and trying to be independent. I feel like I want to have more interesting experiences, to sort of force myself out of my comfort zone, and this moving situation would certainly be a means to that end. If I stay with my parents my life will remain stagnant, and I just really really can't handle living with them. But I also feel like the most reasonable, low-risk option would be to keep letting my parents pay for my stuff until I have my college degree and then pursuing independence.

I guess I'm just looking for some kind of outside perspective, and not necessarily even on my situation. I mean, how did you decide what you wanted from your life, and how you wanted to live it?

 

[Bird]

I... Well, pretty much what the title said I guess. I'm 18 and I live with my really strict parents (mom: ESFJ dad: ISxP) now. We don't get along for A LOT of reasons but I think we would get along better if I didn't live with them. So, I've been looking into places to rent and I met these two circus performers. They offered to let me rent out a room in their place. They're kind of strange (I mean, they do balloon art, dress up like clowns, ride around in giant bikes that blare heavy metal music) but they seem really nice and, they seem to like me for some reason.

So I'm kind of trying to decide between staying with my parents and having them cover some (probably most) of my college expenses, or moving out, taking this year off (just finished high school) and working and trying to be independent. I feel like I want to have more interesting experiences, to sort of force myself out of my comfort zone, and this moving situation would certainly be a means to that end. If I stay with my parents my life will remain stagnant, and I just really really can't handle living with them. But I also feel like the most reasonable, low-risk option would be to keep letting my parents pay for my stuff until I have my college degree and then pursuing independence.

I guess I'm just looking for some kind of outside perspective, and not necessarily even on my situation. I mean, how did you decide what you wanted from your life, and how you wanted to live it?

Please tell me you know what is so
wrong with the text I have made bold.



I moved out when I turned eighteen.
I am okay. However you and I clearly
have different mindsets. This is a
premature statement but I really don't
think you're ready to move out but I
do selfishly think it would do you a
world of good. I guess I just can't
get over the fact that you only want
to use your parents. That that is what
is holding you back, the fact that you
won't be able to use their assets to
your gain if you're not there. And it
doesn't even sound like you're properly
gracious or thankful. You just expect
that behaviour.
Perhaps this is the underlying problem
in your relationship with your parents.
You don't want a relationship with them
you just want their paychecks and their
benefits.



My parents have never once helped me
pay for school or rent or any of my other
bills. Perhaps I am only reacting this way
out of envy but I do think if you have the
means, you should move out.
It sounds like you'd potentially be more
happy if you weren't living under the
same roof as them.

 

[MunkySpanker]

Hey Bird -- I kind of agree with you on the surface -- but to defend the guy, I was kind of spoiled growing up... so it may even be an honorable thing that he's considering taking care of himself, no?

 

[Bird]

Hey Bird -- I kind of agree with you on the surface -- but to defend the guy, I was kind of spoiled growing up... so it may even be an honorable thing that he's considering taking care of himself, no?

LOL


That comes off very harsh.
I was thinking in my head
"what giant leaps, what
massive strides". I guess
I'm just being a critical bitch.

You're right. It probably is
quite the ordeal that he's
even considering leaving
that behind.

 

[nexion]

I personally would stay with my parents so as to get some of my college expenses paid for... but if that's what you want, go for it (and apparently you did). Then again, I don't even have a minimum wage job and it doesn't look like I will be getting one in the near future.

 

[Citronelle]

I've been meaning to reply and update this for ages but just haven't gotten around to it until now!

First I'd like to respond to this:

I guess I just can't
get over the fact that you only want
to use your parents. That that is what
is holding you back, the fact that you
won't be able to use their assets to
your gain if you're not there. And it
doesn't even sound like you're properly
gracious or thankful. You just expect
that behaviour.
Perhaps this is the underlying problem
in your relationship with your parents.
You don't want a relationship with them
you just want their paychecks and their
benefits.

This is kind of difficult for me to comment on, I'm having a bit of trouble assembling my thoughts on this so apologies if it doesn't make sense... I feel very far from most people I meet, but I feel particularly far from my parents, my mother especially. We have nothing in common and disagree on almost everything. I still remember on my 16th birthday I got in a huge argument with my mother about something minor and started crying, which basically ruined the evening for me. She never verbally apologized, but attempted to tacitly make up for it by buying me a lot of presents over the next month or so, and that's kind of the way things went with my parents. I certainly would have preferred an apology, and sincerely wish I could have a connection with them based on mutual respect and affection, but as much as I've tried, it hasn't really been possible... I certainly don't mean to place all the blame on their behavior though, I'm sure I could have tried harder as well. I think it's very easy to judge another person's relationship with their parents, but without actually experiencing it it's impossible to truly understand the cumulative effect of years and years of living and arguing and struggling with two people who have the authority to tell you what to do in life regardless of whether or not you have the same values. Anyways, I could write pages and pages about my relationship with my parents (as I'm sure many others could as well) but I didn't make my decision lightly - it was certainly more complex than just finances, but considering my relationship with them I had very few other compelling reasons to stay. But, I can certainly understand your perception of my behavior.

So:

I wonder how this turned out.

It's been about 6 months, and I think I can say that it's turned out rather well. I lived with the clowns for the past six months, and worked a retail job at an electronics store that paid well (better than minimum wage). Enjoyed myself at the job- although having to pretend to be super friendly all the time got on my nerves, I like working with electronics, and almost all my interactions with people involve me pretending to be friendly anyways so I might as well get paid for it. The clowns were very nice, but due to their lack of regular employment they were home WAY too often for me to really get to enjoy any privacy, which just got to be too much for me. Also I'm pretty sure they tried to subtly (and unsuccessfully) instigate a threesome with me... Not too sure what to make of that. But, I got a lot of good stories out of living with them. I just moved to a much better place with my own room though, which is really nice.
On occasion I wonder what would have happened if I'd stayed, and while I can never be certain, I think I'm content with my decision - I think I've changed more, experienced more, learned more, etc. than I would have if I hadn't moved.

I guess six months isn't really that long, but I already feel so different from the person who first started this topic. There are so many things I know now (about myself, life, the universe, etc.) that I couldn't have even imagined back then. But I guess it'll always be that way...