I was speaking about online.
I have a few, litterally two, real life friends and one that I can share my deepest thoughts too. This is all discounting my wife of course.
I was mostly speaking of the forum since I am looking for first hand impressions of how I may be recieved.
I get bored quickly when hanging out with people except for one. My need for deep thinking or creative projects in order to maintain interest wears others out quickly. They seem to become stressed by the discussions I pursue. My sister tells me that I give headaches.
Okay.
Well, online, I think relational parameters are different -- people come, people go, different levels of investment exist, it's much much more casual than RL friends. There's no real long-term commitment, in a sense; you can blow in and blow out on a whim, you don't even need to explain why. RL friendships are a little different, even in terms of how you engage and the necessary investment to organize, engage, and end a particular engagement.
You're also only getting one perspective on a person... I can read what other people post, and their tone/articulation in writing, but I have no idea what they look like, or what they sound like, or their body language, or their demeanor. None of the personal tangible details of what it's like to interact with others in proximity.
As far as you personally, on the forum you are extremely abstracted to the exclusion of much tangible detail. You're always talking in concepts, some vague; and so it would be difficult for people who need clearer dialogue to stay with you especially on a prolonged period if this is how you talk IRL. (although obviously on this particular forum, you will find more people can track you and want to invest the time to do so.)
It's also very very impersonal, although you do seem to make an effort to project warmth; again, it's very effusive and hard to track if one's brain is not suited to those channels. Do people currently say that your brain seems to "float up there" somewhere much fo the time and have to repeatedly ask you to clarify what you mean?
Have you ever tried nailing some of your ideas to the floor in specific examples, or talk about specific applications? Making it more personal rather than generalized and abstracted?
I think on this forum, you are choosing to engaging in a very generalized way, so you can only expect generalized results. If you want more detailed results / more feelings of focused connection, you should share more specific things rather than generalizing them out. It's one thing to opine in fuzzy ways about the nature of male/female interactions and another to specifically describe a particular incident that happened between you and your wife and exactly how it is impacting you. The first will remain very impersonal (because you've generalized it into the impersonal) and the latter will feel much more personal, because you've left it specific.. and specific to YOU, so that we have learned something about YOU and not just human beings in general.
I think close friends are more based on the latter sharing of details. We are not close friends with "humanity," we build friendships with particular human beings that we share details of our lives with.
Since this doesn't seem as natural a process for you, it would probably take some conscious investment of energy. You would have to weigh things out and decide how much you were willing to invest.
Sometimes we can do that for people and not have any clue that what we are saying will impact them so deeply. It happens. But it's also good to follow up on -- so they can share with you what triggered that response, and you can be closer.