Cognisant
Prolific Member
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- Yesterday 10:19 PM
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2009
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I'm first aid certified and I didn't do that because I found the idea of it appealing, I would be quite happy to never have deal with a medical emergency, but I'd also like to be prepared to handle an emergency, better to have and not need than to need and not have.
My attitude towards violence is the same, I'm not out looking for opportunities to get into fights in some misguided idea that I'll impress somebody. But if a situation were to arise I'd prefer to be physically and mentally prepared to do something, not because I want to put myself in danger, quite frankly the idea terrifies me and I avoid conflict whenever possible. But what scares me more is being there and not being able to do anything, hence why I mentioned first aid, because to me it's the same fear. The fear that in moment when it truly matters I'll be inadequate and then I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life.
Part of being mentally prepared is handling the fear of putting oneself in danger and more than getting hurt what scares me are the potential legal ramifications, and the court of public opinion. I used to be quite bitter about this and was of the opinion that if society wants to be that way then that's just the way it is, if bad things happen it's not my responsibility, and while that's not factually wrong but it's an attitude I think I've grown out of.
Bitterness eats the soul, I want to be the person who helps, whether it's optimal or not it's part of me and to reject it is to reject part of who I am, and I believe this is true for all men, that in all of us there's a part of us that wants to do the right thing for no other reason than because it's the right thing to do.
Maybe it's just my perception, maybe I've just lived a life that has biased me this way, but it seems to me society (Western society) holds a particularly dim view of men and consequently the boys who grow up in that society internalized this negative perception of manhood. That a man is like a woman, except brutish and dumb, that being a man is something to be ashamed of or simply a negative trait that needs to be managed, that being a man is okay, as long as you keep it under control.
Men are hierarchical, men are stoic, a certain kind of combativeness/competitiveness, men are assertive, and to a third-wave feminist all of these traits are toxic, unless they're present in a woman. I think being a man is a good thing, something to be proud of, "proud" in the same sense as what pride used to mean for the gay community, not that it's an inherent virtue in of itself but rather something one shouldn't be ashamed of.
When I worked in retail oh so many years ago the store manager would assign the girls to working the registers and guys like myself would be stacking shelves, being able to put excess stock in the high overheads without needing a ladder (although I think I fucked my back doing that) meant I could do it faster. The store I worked in sold office supplies and had a generous return policy, so of course we'd get crackheads who would steal offices supplies, often from our shelves, and then try to claim the return policy refund. Yes it was very stupid, but it worked, not because they had any legitimate claim to a refund but rather they would verbally abuse the girls at point of sale until, at the point of tears, they would acquiesce to the demand.
So my 185cm +100kg self would step in, take over the register, and smile menacingly.
Would an SMG have improved the outcome of that situation? Probably not.
I'd probably have been shot by some meth addicted fuckwit who got mad that I was ruining their scheme.
Realistically in a fight against someone who is contentious enough to have experience fighting (I don't) I'm probably getting my ass kicked, and that's putting it nicely. But if I see someone getting accosted and I intervene, and I'm losing, at least if my intervention is enough to inspire someone else to step up, then I've succeeded. It may not be a victory for me personally but it'll be a victory for decent people over the fuckwits of the world, and I can't say that's worth it, but it's enough.
My attitude towards violence is the same, I'm not out looking for opportunities to get into fights in some misguided idea that I'll impress somebody. But if a situation were to arise I'd prefer to be physically and mentally prepared to do something, not because I want to put myself in danger, quite frankly the idea terrifies me and I avoid conflict whenever possible. But what scares me more is being there and not being able to do anything, hence why I mentioned first aid, because to me it's the same fear. The fear that in moment when it truly matters I'll be inadequate and then I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life.
Part of being mentally prepared is handling the fear of putting oneself in danger and more than getting hurt what scares me are the potential legal ramifications, and the court of public opinion. I used to be quite bitter about this and was of the opinion that if society wants to be that way then that's just the way it is, if bad things happen it's not my responsibility, and while that's not factually wrong but it's an attitude I think I've grown out of.
Bitterness eats the soul, I want to be the person who helps, whether it's optimal or not it's part of me and to reject it is to reject part of who I am, and I believe this is true for all men, that in all of us there's a part of us that wants to do the right thing for no other reason than because it's the right thing to do.
Maybe it's just my perception, maybe I've just lived a life that has biased me this way, but it seems to me society (Western society) holds a particularly dim view of men and consequently the boys who grow up in that society internalized this negative perception of manhood. That a man is like a woman, except brutish and dumb, that being a man is something to be ashamed of or simply a negative trait that needs to be managed, that being a man is okay, as long as you keep it under control.
Men are hierarchical, men are stoic, a certain kind of combativeness/competitiveness, men are assertive, and to a third-wave feminist all of these traits are toxic, unless they're present in a woman. I think being a man is a good thing, something to be proud of, "proud" in the same sense as what pride used to mean for the gay community, not that it's an inherent virtue in of itself but rather something one shouldn't be ashamed of.
When I worked in retail oh so many years ago the store manager would assign the girls to working the registers and guys like myself would be stacking shelves, being able to put excess stock in the high overheads without needing a ladder (although I think I fucked my back doing that) meant I could do it faster. The store I worked in sold office supplies and had a generous return policy, so of course we'd get crackheads who would steal offices supplies, often from our shelves, and then try to claim the return policy refund. Yes it was very stupid, but it worked, not because they had any legitimate claim to a refund but rather they would verbally abuse the girls at point of sale until, at the point of tears, they would acquiesce to the demand.
So my 185cm +100kg self would step in, take over the register, and smile menacingly.
Would an SMG have improved the outcome of that situation? Probably not.
I'd probably have been shot by some meth addicted fuckwit who got mad that I was ruining their scheme.
Realistically in a fight against someone who is contentious enough to have experience fighting (I don't) I'm probably getting my ass kicked, and that's putting it nicely. But if I see someone getting accosted and I intervene, and I'm losing, at least if my intervention is enough to inspire someone else to step up, then I've succeeded. It may not be a victory for me personally but it'll be a victory for decent people over the fuckwits of the world, and I can't say that's worth it, but it's enough.
