Is it just me?

[Flawed_Ravvn]

Right now I'm currently in high school and it's been a difficult year. But the one thing that's really been bugging me is the fact that I can't seem to relate to anyone. I have people that I talk to, but I can't really call them my friend. For a really long time I've just wanted a group of friends that I can hang out with and talk to, but it seems like all the girls talk about at school is boys and relationships, I'm not really into that. I've been thinking up of so many possibility of why this could be, so my question is, am I the only one that's dealing with this?

 

[Latte]

The only one in the whole wide world ~

If one's interest range and sense of identity does not well overlap with the majority and one has relatively small set of people to socialize with, chances are that one will not be nearly as socially satisfied as one would if this was not the case.

The interest range and sense of identity of most people tend to expand as they age (maybe you're one of them. If not, some others who previously had not will at least expand into your range), and the set of people one has met and has a chance to socialize and form friendships with expands as well over time.

I guess you're actively working on expanding the people-amount set, seeing as you are here. May what you came for be here to be found.

 

[Grayman]

Right now I'm currently in high school and it's been a difficult year. But the one thing that's really been bugging me is the fact that I can't seem to relate to anyone. I have people that I talk to, but I can't really call them my friend. For a really long time I've just wanted a group of friends that I can hang out with and talk to, but it seems like all the girls talk about at school is boys and relationships, I'm not really into that. I've been thinking up of so many possibility of why this could be, so my question is, am I the only one that's dealing with this?

No, no, I've never been a girl before. Maybe in the next life I will be a girl. Maybe then I will understand what is so important about me to talk about.

I know a lot of boys talked about relationships but not in the same way. Indeed, stay away from a boy who seems to be only interested in relationships and cares nothing of school and the responsibilities of life. It is not really the 'relationship' they are interested in.

What about relationships do girls find interesting? Relationships are a hassle but are necessary in the future. As a young person there is so much more in life to do. Why suffer the pain of lust? It is better to wait for the mature love called agape. Perhaps it is a love that young girls do not brag about like they do the love they call lust.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@Grayman- When the girls talk about their relationships, they talk about how there man is so nice to them and how their in love with them, in my mind I'm thinking you just met this guy a week ago how can you already love them? I just don't see the point of getting into a relationship while in high school cause it's just gonna end. I was in a long term relationship for all of my sophomore year and although it had it's good times, it was also a pain in the butt. I'm currently not in a relationship with that person anymore and its been a struggle coping with high school life without him, but I'm managing. I do seem to get along with guys better then girls, I don't know why but that's just what happens. Girls start drama which is something I don't want in my life, high school is already stressful enough without it. Another thing that I don't get about them is that they will date this guy that they are supposedly so madly in love with for about a month or so, then about two weeks later they are with another guy an they are head over heals in love with them. I just don't get it.

 

[Josteen]

Yea it's hard to fit in especially when you don't have a lot of things in common with the society that you tried to fit in.
For me , rejection and sense of belonging does not matter much for me, but i care about them because I don't want to make my parent sad because I am not fitting well or make others felt sorry for me.
In my country (Planet Vegeta) alot of people still held strong belief in the old ways, superstition and beliefs. They are either oblivious or didn't accept the fact that people are different and forced standard and expectations to anyone, those who stray from it were considered weak, immature, dumb, lazy, Weird or have some mental condition that made them like that.
Hell, some group for people (majority of the people here) refused to participate in the last presidential election just because Some members of the political party that participated in the election comes from a different religion and were not a pure blooded Saiyan and made a ruckus and stirring violent acts all over the place because of it

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@Josteen: Planet Vegeta? Rejection and a sense of belonging in the past never seem to really bother me, in fact I enjoyed being alone cause I could think, but it when I got into high school and heard about all the fun things people were doing, I wanted to be about of that. You know, I wanted stories to be able to tell to my kids about my high school experience that are happy and fun.

 

[Josteen]

Then I am sorry because I don't know your feeling because I never felt what you feel. I also don't know what being a girl felt like.
I never even thought about having children or family or all that, people used to say that I don't have any emotion and how I am not acting like a human since kindergarten.
(Although I still felt happiness and sadness and all that, maybe the way I expresses it is not normal I don't know)
I think you envied those people that you mentioned having those experience according to what you wrote.
I can't help you then I am really sorry

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@Josteen: Then what have you thought about doing with your life then? I'm not gonna put you down or anything, I'm just curious.

 

[Josteen]

Well if I told you it might seems arrogant and selfish, I am not trying to brag or anything but I am born into an extremely sufficient family, majority of my uncle and aunt have their own company and factory. So are my father, who is King Vegeta, right now I am trying anything that I think I like and dropped out of them as soon as I felt I don't like them or if i lose my motivation in any of them.
My mother is an ESTJ and my father is an INFJ, and I am not gonna lie I don't understand a lot about them and they don't understand a lot about me, my mother is a total dictator in my house and my father is always telling me stories and trying to motivate me at all times but always critical when talking to me or about any other things.
I always felt happy everytime I am alone thinking about the possibilities that can happen in this world and the future, I have my own universe inside my head, I got my kicks from it and from playing video games on other times .
And back to your question, what I wanna do in life currently? Nothing is the simple answer I am quite happy with who am I right now and if you are asking me what do I want of it to be changed is the way this social system works and how reality present itself to people living in it which I am already doing inside my head and I am quite content with it.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@Josteen- I can kind of relate to you when it comes to family, I'm the only INTP and it can be quite frustrating when no one in your family. I too enjoy just sitting and thinking, especially about the future and where I wanna be in life. As I mentioned before, I wanna be a sport physician.

 

[Kuu]

Right now I'm currently in high school and it's been a difficult year. But the one thing that's really been bugging me is the fact that I can't seem to relate to anyone. I have people that I talk to, but I can't really call them my friend. For a really long time I've just wanted a group of friends that I can hang out with and talk to, but it seems like all the girls talk about at school is boys and relationships, I'm not really into that. I've been thinking up of so many possibility of why this could be, so my question is, am I the only one that's dealing with this?

I never really related to anyone in HS. Had a group but felt disconnected, and it fell apart rather quickly afterwards. HS is just a bad memory. Just focus on what you like and talk to anyone and everyone about it, fuck social BS. If you think "nobody cares about X" and never talk about it, you're gonna miss all those people that might, but also keep it to themselves for fear or apathy. If you get flak for your interests, dump those people and don't look back. Best to be alone that in bad company.

Another thing that I don't get about them is that they will date this guy that they are supposedly so madly in love with for about a month or so, then about two weeks later they are with another guy an they are head over heals in love with them. I just don't get it.

Novelty, thrill of the chase, wanting what you don't have, idealisation. It's pretty simple really. They treat people like consumable (and disposable) objects, to satiate some egocentric desires, instead of forming an actual relationship.

 

[Josteen]

That's why in my opinion trying to be others just for the sake of being like others is not worth it for ourself.
Will you enjoy what happened to others or what they do? Will you have the same experience?
As a normal human we crave for variation in order to entertain ourself, but you don't have to feel or be like others in order for you to be happy.
You said that you like thinking, and I can only assume your "like" for solitary thinking is about the same as mine. You might try what they do but you don't have to feel like they do, you have someone to talk to and that is already a good thing, so stop worrying about trivial things like that is part of growing up as an intp. I've been there and I always though that (and suggested by others) I have some kind of disability and mental illness or some sort after realizing that I was an intp and it is not some kind of a mental disorder and in no way I can totally be like others no matter how hard I tried I found my inner peace


Although I still doubted it anyho

 

[EditorOne]

We usually need more time to build a relationship that feels comfortable and those relationships, or at least the feeling comfortable with someone, can last for decades. I recently resumed a conversation, via Facebook, with someone I last spoke to on graduation day - which for me, was 1967. Unlike many young people then and now, I went through 13 years of school with the same 30 kids as classmates, and the same 105 kids through four years of high school, give or take a half-dozen dropouts or move-ins. So, oddly I guess, I felt comfortable with a lot of people I didn't necessary get along with or have actual friendships with.
I think your interest in socializing is healthy and will serve you well. Just realize that other people will relate to you even if all you're doing is being there and not saying much. Perhaps more importantly, keep in mind that what to you is a casual, dispassionate observation ("How do you have such an intense relationship wi th some boy you really just met two weeks ago?") can come across as criticism to a non-INTP. They are teenagers fumbling around with decision-making and life-processing with emotions as a much bigger determinant than we are comfortable with. It makes it tough to understand, tougher to communicate, and toughest to relate to someone who is using what amounts, to us, to alien technology to navigate life.

 

[StevenM]

I have also found it difficult to start a friendship. This has led me to research and study about it more in depth. I can share some things that I found help.

First, it really helps to be self-confident. Write down a list of things that you are particularly good at, and especially highlight the skills that support social interaction. For instance, can you make people laugh? Are you a good listener? Are you good with coming up with solutions intuitively, and presenting them in a clear and understandable manner? Can you be friendly? These are some examples that can help, and things you can show to other people. Come up with other different things about yourself, your interests, and things that make you unique and special.

For most people, especially introverts, finding a great friend does take a bit of luck, and doesn't happen too often. It's a lot like poker. You gotta play hand after hand, and eventually, you'll hit a great kicker. But you gotta play, and take your chances. And you have to try to take losing impersonally. Being able to handle rejection is an asset. Just brush it off and try again.

Interacting with people is draining, especially strangers, partly because we are introverted, and also because we prefer logic and analysis over tending to feelings and emotions. Something that really pushed me in the right direction, is to take on the task of meeting people as an intellectual game. Learn how to be a more influential person by taking note of your body language, and the body language of others around you. I find it amazing how many people become more attracted to me, when I keep my arms open, make eye contact and smile. Its a little bit uncomfortable at first, but the brain can be trained, and before you know it, you'll do it like second nature. Recently, I started becoming curious about people. I started studying people, trying to type read them, and finding ways to accommodate different personalities and striving to be more influential. It's now more of a personal psychology study, with the rewards of gaining confidence, and possibly making another great friend.

Also realize that our thoughts about people can be exaggerated and irrational. Yes, there are some bad people out there, but there are still lots of people who are similar to you. It's really hard to see, because it's not expressed openly. There is people all around you who also feel awkward in social groups and meeting new people, there are tons of people willing to look for new friends. Realize that everyone has some kind of quirk and bad habits, and realize your own weaknesses as well. At the first moment of meeting you, most people want to like you. Sending off certain signals, (crossing arms, not smiling, and avoiding) is often taken the wrong way by people.

I find it hard to believe that there is not one person in your school who wouldn't satisfy your intellectual needs. That person or persons are in there. Good luck.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

Novelty, thrill of the chase, wanting what you don't have, idealisation. It's pretty simple really. They treat people like consumable (and disposable) objects, to satiate some egocentric desires, instead of forming an actual relationship.[/QUOTE]

This is what I've felt too, if I'm gonna get into a relationship, I want the real thing, not something that's gonna last a couple months then we break up and move on to other people. I could see the advantage in doing that cause you'd be able to meet new people, but it's also a recipe for heartbreak and disaster.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

I've been there and I always though that (and suggested by others) I have some kind of disability and mental illness or some sort after realizing that I was an intp and it is not some kind of a mental disorder and in no way I can totally be like others no matter how hard I tried I found my inner peace


Although I still doubted it anyho

I don't know how many times teachers have wondered if I've had a disability. Through out my elementary years, I was taken to do test after test cause apparently to the teachers I was different. I didn't think I was different, but I did think everyone else was. I thought the other kids were stupid and stuff.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

We usually need more time to build a relationship that feels comfortable and those relationships, or at least the feeling comfortable with someone, can last for decades. I recently resumed a conversation, via Facebook, with someone I last spoke to on graduation day - which for me, was 1967. Unlike many young people then and now, I went through 13 years of school with the same 30 kids as classmates, and the same 105 kids through four years of high school, give or take a half-dozen dropouts or move-ins. So, oddly I guess, I felt comfortable with a lot of people I didn't necessary get along with or have actual friendships with.
I think your interest in socializing is healthy and will serve you well. Just realize that other people will relate to you even if all you're doing is being there and not saying much. Perhaps more importantly, keep in mind that what to you is a casual, dispassionate observation ("How do you have such an intense relationship wi th some boy you really just met two weeks ago?") can come across as criticism to a non-INTP. They are teenagers fumbling around with decision-making and life-processing with emotions as a much bigger determinant than we are comfortable with. It makes it tough to understand, tougher to communicate, and toughest to relate to someone who is using what amounts, to us, to alien technology to navigate life.

I very rarely ever tell people my opinion on things cause it's gotten myself into trouble in the past, but I do like what your saying. I am trying to talk more, it's just sometimes I don't really know what to say. you know there talking about boys and bands and stuff when I'm over here reading the latest on medical technology and the news (which is starting to get boring cause I swear it's the same thing over and over again, you know, someone gets murder, Obama does something, a shooting happens, its gotten to the point where I can almost guess whats gonna be on the news). Sometime I feel like my brain is older then my body, if that makes sense.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@TMills 27- I've been doing a lot of research lately about myself cause I swear that I have some sort of social disorder, but now I'm realizing that I'm not the only one which is great I'm gonna take what you said into consideration and also do some more research. I've also been thinking, what if our types problem to making friends isn't really a problem? What if we are really good at it, it's just that we think that we are bad at it, therefore we are? The brain in a powerful organ, if you set your mind to something chances are that's how your gonna react.

 

[StevenM]

@TMills 27- I've been doing a lot of research lately about myself cause I swear that I have some sort of social disorder, but now I'm realizing that I'm not the only one which is great I'm gonna take what you said into consideration and also do some more research. I've also been thinking, what if our types problem to making friends isn't really a problem? What if we are really good at it, it's just that we think that we are bad at it, therefore we are? The brain in a powerful organ, if you set your mind to something chances are that's how your gonna react.

I'm sure most people of our type has felt the same. I know for sure I have. I wouldn't get too caught up in social disorders and the like. The best treatment for most social impairment is therapy, not medication, which means you have a fighting chance. :P

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~Albert Einstein

As thinkers, we tend to love being critical, not only of other people, but also of ourselves. I believe we can be a little bit of a perfectionist. And I know for myself, I don't like uncertainty, complete randomness, chaos or change. We would like people to fall into logical place and structure, and we also expect that of ourselves. We like the control of a logical system.

Don't forget, that in perfect harmony, there is a bit of chaos with the order, and being human involves imperfections, variety and randomness. We will never find the perfect person for a friend, and your friends will inevitably move, fade out, disagree and have arguments.

The brain is a powerful organ indeed, and one of the coolest things about it is it's plasticity. When you feel uncomfortable expressing yourself around people, it's likely because that path in the brain has not been developed and is generally unkept. Imagine a forest, where you always walk the same path, the ground there gets trampled so much, and a clear walkway is formed. If you neglect the path and take another route, eventually in time, the vegetation will fill it back in, making it invisible. The new route will take on a trampled and clean walkway.

This describes the brains plasticity quite well. Meeting people, expressing ourselves, and being confident in doing so, might be that path not regularly taken, and it is stressful because the path is rugged and unkept, plus the uncertainty of not knowing where it leads.

It's important to note that external and internal events do not directly effect how we feel. In between the events and our feelings, are our assumptions and core beliefs of those events. For instance, one person is criticized on their appearance, yet he brushes it off and jokes about it in good humor, where as, another person in the same situation will have a shock to their ego. It wasn't the event itself that directed the resulting feelings, it was their core beliefs of the event. One of them seems to believe that appearances aren't everything, that they are a like-able and great person, even if someone finds distaste in their appearance. The other person believes something irrational and negative, probably something in the lines of "everyone must think I'm ugly", "No one likes me because I'm ugly". This is an example how negative and irrational beliefs can negatively impact a person and their well-being.

So when meeting new people, see if there are any beliefs you have about being with people, and see if they could be irrational. For instance, everyone only talks about meaningless things. You could counter that belief with asking questions like "Is this always true?". Personally, I believe there are a good handful of people who love talking about more in depth things that would catch an interest. Some other common distorted beliefs are "Nobody will like who I really am", "There is fundamentally something wrong with me", and "I can't properly socialize". I'm not sure if I'm breaking forum rules by posting a link, but here are some great questions to challenge thoughts that are getting in the way of your goals http://au.reachout.com/Challenging-negative-thinking
Changing an engrained belief can be a lot of work, and takes time, so be persistent and patient, and don't be too hard on yourself.

As INTP's, we love to theorize and speculate, in new and abstract ways. One of my biggest pitfalls was believing my theories and assumptions to be facts and truths, which could build a faulty foundation of knowledge. It is important to realize that our theories are just speculations and opinions, and we should follow through with critical testing of our assumptions, and ask challenging questions to our insights.

"Ideas do not have to be correct in order to be good; its only necessary that, if they do fail, they do so in an interesting way."~Robert Rosen

Sorry for rambling

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@TMills27- I will certainly take into consideration of what you said. I have wondered if me be being social is foreign to be because I've never really had to use it till now. Growing up a military brat I was constantly moving, right now this is my 10th school, so I didn't really see the point in making friends cause I would just have to say goodbye to them anywhere from a couple months to 2 years. But now that I'm in highschool and been here for longer then 2 years, I've come to realize the importance of having friends. Since then I've tried to be social and more willing to talk to people about things, like boys and such, cause I gonna have to adapt if I wanna survive in high school. I have thought that people are rude and are only out to hurt you and I think it stems from when I was younger. I was bullied then because I was so quite, therefore students and teachers thought I was stupid. From this its made it hard for me to trust people. I'm trying to open back up to people because I want to let them in. I want them to figure me out and really get to know me, it just takes finding the right person who has the guts and patience of doing that. And don't be sorry about rambling, I'd rather have a couple of paragraphs to think about them one sentence

 

[Aerl]

Personally I spent my time day dreaming or talking with teachers, hardly attended any sports classes and durring art I just drank coffee with a teacher. I was that weird kid that was lasy as hell and didn't do homework or attend some classes but hardly if ever got in trouble. It was fun.

 

[StevenM]

It's good to realize that we all need some socializing time. And just because we are introverted doesn't mean that we shouldn't socialize. Being an introvert just means that you collect your energy back by spending time alone; energy that has been spent on socializing. Extroverts get their energy from being around people; energy that has been drained from being by themselves. Balanced periods of alone time and being with people are essential for everyone. I find socializing draining for sure, yet it's work well spent. Being alone thinking, and musing, is a nice break to get my energy back. But socializing brings me back to the external world, so I know what's going on around me, and I don't get trapped in inner abstractions and fantasies.

I would suggest not changing what feels most comfortable for you, just to accommodate other people. Having an appreciation for other people's differing interests is great, but if you don't like talking about boys and such, you can try to redirect the conversation into something that shows off your interests. Just think, your friends have no problem expressing their interests, and they are comfortable with that. There is no reason to hold back your own interests. You can feel safe and confident in what you like. If your friends don't show any appreciation for that, just smile and confidently move away. At that point, it's time to mingle a bit and open up new doors with other people. (I know, mingling is sometimes an introverts worst nightmare...lol)

For me, gaining a network of friends and acquaintances, and mingling and socializing is as big of a project as climbing Mount Everest. Lots of practice with smaller climbs, certain tools and skills need to be strengthened, and being prepared for obstacles, all need to be worked on. It's a big undertaking, but I'm up to the challenge. I am also fighting through people's arrogance, and ignorance, and the cruel intentions of other people. But you'd be surprised by how many people who also can't comprehend malicious intentions and unkindness.

Something that I found surprising and inspiring, is that there is a much larger amount of people who struggle making long term friends than we may think. Sure, everyone seems to be getting along and talking, but to get that real special connection with someone is somewhat rare for most people. Even the most outgoing of the extroverts can struggle with finding a good solid friend. And then there is the challenging job of maintaining your good friends, because there are going to be obstacles. This isn't meant to get your hopes down. I'm hoping you'll realize that when you scan the people around you, you can see that lots of them are also looking for connecting and bonding with new people.

If you do acquaint yourself with someone interesting, and you've talked with them frequently, absolutely be sure to ask for a phone number, and suggest getting together for coffee (or something you can both agree upon). It might seem like you are "weirding" someone out, but I bet it would be nothing like that to the other person. Being asked for a phone number, and asked for a get together is very flattering for most people, and you will make them feel good. Essentially, you subtly told them that you find your time together engaging and interesting, and its an indirect compliment to their personality. Likewise, if someone asks to get together with you, take a leap of faith and see where it leads.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@TMills- I will certainly take that into consideration. There have been timed when I thought that I was the only one struggling with this. But I do have one question, Do you think its possible to be both introverted and extroverted?

 

[Spirit]

Either you recharge from being around people or you don't.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Does your school host some interest-based groups?
Try them, see where it leads to.

 

[StevenM]

Re. Is it possible to be both an introvert and an extrovert?

Yes, people who are right near the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum are labelled ambiverts.

 

[EditorOne]

"But I do have one question, Do you think its possible to be both introverted and extroverted?"

Everyone is, to some degree, both. The issue is which you are more comfortable doing, which recharges you and which tires you out.

It is also possible to deploy the activities of the "uncomfortable choice", whichever it is, for reasons that come up from time to time. You might be comfortably handling pure research allowing unlimited indulgence in introversion - right up to the moment the dean announces you'll need to present your work to a gathering of peers in order to fulfill the terms of the grant that pays your salary. Now you need to get in front of a hundred people. Worse, you have to interact with them and establish some kind of common ground with them to try to head them off from trashing your work because you've been so stand-offish.
I'm not saying you couldn't choose to avoid the presentation, lose the chance of another grant, and be perfectly happy living out of a dumpster. However, I am saying there are moments in life that you might find it advantageous to experience, no matter how uncomfortable, because doing so is an investment underpinning your preferred form of personality.

So, like many things, you can learn how to be an extravert and do it when required, but it may never be comfortable except when you're doing it with people you've got some kind of longer-term relationship with. That's been my experience, at any rate.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Good points!

 

[Spirit]

Re. Is it possible to be both an introvert and an extrovert?

Yes, people who are right near the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum are labelled ambiverts.

If you are only looking at two types of people and not "typology" then I would agree we can sometimes be introverted and sometimes be extroverted. However, if you look at typology, each person has an extroverted and introverted functions. People have a baseline of what is their default. This is why I stated you recharge one way or another.

When you are stressed out what do you do?

Introverts that have taught themselves to be extroverted call themselves ambiverts. People that are extroverted don't call themselves ambiverts. Just because you can get up and talk to a group of people or talk to your close group that does not mean you are an extrovert.


This post explains the dichotomy

"Gaining energy from the presence of people, and liking people, are two different things. What that means is you aren’t gaining energy from people, you’re gaining energy from liking those peoples’ ideas, their generosities, their jokes, the relationships you have with them, etc.

Extroverts gain energy from being around people, no matter who they are, how much they like them, how much they relate to them, how much they know them, etc. Extroverts gain energy from being seen, being observed, being noticed.

When an introvert gains energy from a person, it isn’t because they are being seen by that person, in fact they are being drained of energy because of this, being seen drains an introverts energy. But the introvert, while losing energy from being seen, can also be gaining a greater amount of energy from that interaction, i.e. a net positive amount of energy, because they are satisfying their sensing needs through managing their conversations among several people, because they are satisfying their intuitive needs by hearing and interpreting new ideas, because they are satisfying their thinking needs by making logical conclusions and arguments, or because they are satisfying their feeling needs by empathizing with the emotions of those around them."

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@Salmoneus: As far as I know we don't, then again I'm not too involved with my school either, wrestling and band are about as far as it goes.

@Editor One: I agree with you 100% on that, I don't want to change the fact that I'm an introvert because there are some advantages to being one, I just want to have better people skills and learn how to act around them. I also think at times I can be very extroverted and really outgoing, but other times the introverted side comes out and I wanna be left alone, That's why I was wondering if it was possible to be both.

@Spirit: when I get stressed out, I tend to think a lot and not get anything done, all I wanna do is relax and try to get my head to stop thinking so much. When I can, I also go and work out at the gym, listen to piano music, or read a book like on phycology or some sort of medical book.

 

[Spirit]

@Salmoneus: As far as I know we don't, then again I'm not too involved with my school either, wrestling and band are about as far as it goes.

@Editor One: I agree with you 100% on that, I don't want to change the fact that I'm an introvert because there are some advantages to being one, I just want to have better people skills and learn how to act around them. I also think at times I can be very extroverted and really outgoing, but other times the introverted side comes out and I wanna be left alone, That's why I was wondering if it was possible to be both.

@Spirit: when I get stressed out, I tend to think a lot and not get anything done, all I wanna do is relax and try to get my head to stop thinking so much. When I can, I also go and work out at the gym, listen to piano music, or read a book like on phycology or some sort of medical book.

Are you being "extroverted" in your areas of interest or are you going out seeking and doing anything to be around people and stimulated from this activity.

You sound introverted to me.

 

[StevenM]

What I have learned, is introverted people can be very expressive and open to people who they trust and love being around the most. A best friend or loved one might see a lot of extroverted traits in the introverted person.

I am like this to my best friends. I generally act with much more energy, express everything openly, and talk quite a bit. However, I find that I still need my time away from them, just to recollect again.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

@Spirit- I usually try to stay away from people when I get like this, it causes more unwanted stress, plus people annoy me when I'm like this.

@TMills27- That's how I am too, people who know me really well I can be very open too and talk about stuff with. But when I'm in an unfamiliar area with people I don't know, then I'm dead silent, I'll maybe say something here or there, but other then that I'm pretty quite.

 

[Spirit]

@Spirit- I usually try to stay away from people when I get like this, it causes more unwanted stress, plus people annoy me when I'm like this.

@TMills27- That's how I am too, people who know me really well I can be very open too and talk about stuff with. But when I'm in an unfamiliar area with people I don't know, then I'm dead silent, I'll maybe say something here or there, but other then that I'm pretty quite.

Exactly. Not an extrovert.

 

[deadpixel]

Right now I'm currently in high school and it's been a difficult year. But the one thing that's really been bugging me is the fact that I can't seem to relate to anyone. I have people that I talk to, but I can't really call them my friend. For a really long time I've just wanted a group of friends that I can hang out with and talk to, but it seems like all the girls talk about at school is boys and relationships, I'm not really into that. I've been thinking up of so many possibility of why this could be, so my question is, am I the only one that's dealing with this?

Yeah that's because school is a big social playground for extroverts, the average school isn't the best environment for an introverted thinker.

 

[greenspace]

Right now I'm currently in high school and it's been a difficult year. But the one thing that's really been bugging me is the fact that I can't seem to relate to anyone. I have people that I talk to, but I can't really call them my friend. For a really long time I've just wanted a group of friends that I can hang out with and talk to, but it seems like all the girls talk about at school is boys and relationships, I'm not really into that. I've been thinking up of so many possibility of why this could be, so my question is, am I the only one that's dealing with this?

Though it may seem like EVERYBODY in your school only talks about girls, thats definitely not the case. Try and find somebody in your school that you can relate with. It might only be one or two but they are there. One thing I regret about high school is not cultivating better relationships with the intellectuals in my school. I had some intellectual friends but I also had too many meathead buddies. Firstly know and cultivate your interests and then find friends that have those interests. If you dont know or have any interests, then you have nothing to build a friendship on.