Gentlemen
Redshirt
- Local time
- Today 12:37 PM
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 5
Greetings all,
I recently entered into what is promising to be a very strange (but hopefully fruitful) relationship, with a girl who I believe is also an INTP. Like me she is extremely nerdy and shy, more likely to sit and work on her computer science homework for hours than initiate a conversation. We have only been dating for about two days, but compared to relationships I have had in the past the whole thing has been rather...odd. She will come over and we will actually sit in the same room working on our laptops, barely talking to each other. Even the way we got together was extremely INTP-ish; we have been friends for a few months and she came into my room and nervously said "hey, I have been interested in you for a while", and I nervously replied "that's great, I'm interested in you too." At which point we kind of just stood there blinking at each other, not knowing what else to say.
So I guess what I'm asking is advice on how to speed up the process of making things more intimate/not awkward between us. I get the feeling that we are both separately unsure of what to do/say; we both like being with each other but neither one of us knows how to convey it. A lot of people might look at us and say this is a bad fit with no passion in it, but as an INTP I know that isn't true. We are capable of as much love and passion as anyone else (perhaps moreso, in my experience the so-called emotional, gushy people go through a new bf/gf every week), but we just really suck at expressing it. I feel as if I don't know what is appropriate to do/say to her, and what frustrates me is the idea that she is thinking the same thing.
So, what do I do? Do I need to bite the bullet and play the role that the extrovert usually does in getting her to show more feeling? Or do I continue along and assume that we will both get naturally more comfortable over time? It's odd how dating someone who is like you can reveal how little you know about yourself...
I recently entered into what is promising to be a very strange (but hopefully fruitful) relationship, with a girl who I believe is also an INTP. Like me she is extremely nerdy and shy, more likely to sit and work on her computer science homework for hours than initiate a conversation. We have only been dating for about two days, but compared to relationships I have had in the past the whole thing has been rather...odd. She will come over and we will actually sit in the same room working on our laptops, barely talking to each other. Even the way we got together was extremely INTP-ish; we have been friends for a few months and she came into my room and nervously said "hey, I have been interested in you for a while", and I nervously replied "that's great, I'm interested in you too." At which point we kind of just stood there blinking at each other, not knowing what else to say.
So I guess what I'm asking is advice on how to speed up the process of making things more intimate/not awkward between us. I get the feeling that we are both separately unsure of what to do/say; we both like being with each other but neither one of us knows how to convey it. A lot of people might look at us and say this is a bad fit with no passion in it, but as an INTP I know that isn't true. We are capable of as much love and passion as anyone else (perhaps moreso, in my experience the so-called emotional, gushy people go through a new bf/gf every week), but we just really suck at expressing it. I feel as if I don't know what is appropriate to do/say to her, and what frustrates me is the idea that she is thinking the same thing.
So, what do I do? Do I need to bite the bullet and play the role that the extrovert usually does in getting her to show more feeling? Or do I continue along and assume that we will both get naturally more comfortable over time? It's odd how dating someone who is like you can reveal how little you know about yourself...
