Inconsistent Behavior

[warryer]

Last night, I was marveling at how this woman got upset because some other girl was wearing the same outfit as her. It is obvious that they picked their outfit from a manikin or a magazine saying that this is what's in.

I am not amazed at the fact that she got mad but, at the fact that she felt justified in getting mad. It's as if she thought she was the only one who knows about the manikin or magazine. There is some kind of disconnect in the thought process.

It's the same thing as:

- getting upset at McDonald's for making you fat because you at a BigMac everyday for the last two years.

- people throwing around, like some kind of rock, the term 'bigotry' at other people who have differing opinions. (bigotry means intolerance towards those with differing opinions)

Why and How do people feel justified in reacting in a way that is inconsistent (unreasonable) to the circumstances? Is it denial? Is it pure emotional response? Do people just not care (are lazy)?

Reality is the way it is. People don't seem to be able (or are unwilling) to make the connections between causes and effects.

 

[warryer]

Seems there is a whole wikipedia page about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-justification

 

[EditorOne]

Perhaps there's a lot of unrecognized dementia out there.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

I guess it's more of an "F" thing. There is not much logic to feeling.

girl likes outfit
girl feels special and unique when wearing outfit
girl sees another girl wearing same outfit
girl does not feel special anymore
this makes girl feel insecure
feelings of insecurity lead to anger
anger needs a target for release
most likely target is the object which causes loss of special feeling
this target becomes the other girl

as long as you understand that this just so happens to be the standard reaction of most females, you won't be amazed after you see the pattern happen over and over again.

a more logical female will have the same reaction, but maybe direct her anger towards Abercrombie & Fitch for creating too many cute outfits instead of just the one that she bought.

 

[Etheri]

As said before, it's just people being emotional rather than logical. They'll use any justification they can find, regardless of whether it applies or not. In truth, I don't think they actually think about it thoroughly. They just want to 'get it out of their system'. Their minds are controlled by their emotions, they don't actually think about what the fuck they're doing, saying, feeling,...

On another note : I can understand jealousy as an emotion, but at the same time, if you think about it, being jealous rarely makes sense (logically). Goes along the same line for alot of emotions and feelings. Oh feelers, you so silly. (For those who know 'laddergoat', when people get emotional, they often seem just as silly to me.)

Spoiler

laddergoat

 

[redbaron]

Cognitive dissonance. People get upset when their ideas or emotions conflict with reality. She had the idea or expectation that she was the only one wearing the outfit and was proud of it.

So when reality doesn't quite match up with her expectation, she justifies why to make herself feel better.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance


EDIT: apparently you found it already.

 

[crippli]

I tend to struggle somewhat where these things start and end. To me they appear as chain reactions that have been going on for awhile, and we just happen to pop in and look on a bit of it.

Like here; other girl get girl upset. Girl get warryer upset, warryer get forum upset. And when forum get upset, all hell brake loose.

This is why I believe in the butterfly effect. I don't even think it has to expand or shring, it can just go on and on and on. Like the puffing on the sun. But one would think it would have to start somewhere.

I actually don't think it has much to do with the outfit. These are necessary emotional reactions that will make one engage and act as fuel.

Btw. It is somewhat ridiculous to ask for justice at this level of existence. Reality is more, what you can do. Did the girl get away with the anger? So she could do it. But the butterfly is still in effect. So the snake could comeback to bite her in the ass. There may still be a price to be paid... So justice, or more accurately I think, balance, could be restored. Dunno, It's not easy to follow these chains of events, and pick up everything.

I've also found people to get angry with me, because they thought I dressed as them, perhaps not even exact, just similarly. Territorial issues. The alpha. On face value. People can also like that you dress as them, even if you didn't. Their believe that you dressed as them, can make them like you, or hate. Like I said, who knows where this start and ends.

 

[Etheri]

Btw. It is somewhat ridiculous to ask for justice at this level of existence. Reality is more, what you can do. Did the girl get away with the anger? So she could do it. But the butterfly is still in effect. So the snake could comeback to bite her in the ass. There may still be a price to be paid... So justice, or more accurately I think, balance, could be restored. Dunno, It's not easy to follow these chains of events, and pick up everything.

This sounds very karma-like. While I don't believe in anything supernatural, or anyone actually keeping count of everything, I do find the ideas concerning karma rather interesting. What goes around, comes around.

 

[crippli]

This sounds very karma-like. While I don't believe in anything supernatural, or anyone actually keeping count of everything, I do find the ideas concerning karma rather interesting. What goes around, comes around.

Not me either. I think what I had in mind was if you plant a seed, things will evolve. A process is started, and in a while, a flower has bloomed. Seeds are again dispersed, flower dies, and another flower blooms. Again and again and again. There could be a balance, i.e the karma. But I am really not sure about that, that would like justify justice. But at this point I'm not sure if justice is but a fantasy. Not sure how bonded human spirituality, as consciousness is, to these patterns. I think they can be similar, just abstracts.

It's a bit sci-fi. A neat idea. I believe this occurs, but to what extent I'm not sure. The flap of butterfly wings in Africa to set of a tornado on the gold coast of Australia. I love it. What I could do if I could control all of this..

More practically, perhaps warryer is correct in treating this as a singular event, and make a judgement call on the spot.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Most people are stupid. This explains phenomena such as the one you described pretty well I think. It may be a cultural thing as well. Materialistic cultures tend to influence people to use objects they own as a means of competition. A classic example is lawns, it's quite cliche, but neighbors competing about who has the best lawn. For males, another cliche is penis size. lol, where do people come up with this stuff?

 

[intpz]

Last night, I was marveling at how this woman got upset because some other girl was wearing the same outfit as her. It is obvious that they picked their outfit from a manikin or a magazine saying that this is what's in.

I remember someone telling to me something about two years ago: "Wow, you have the same sweater as that guy. If I was him, I'd smack your face." He was quite serious, an ESFP he is, I believe. Though since he started smoking lots of pot, he seems to be not giving shit about anything except how to get money to buy pot, which is also the only activity of his. Glad I haven't spoken to him for more than a year, since he graduated from high-school.

 

[warryer]

@NinjaSurfer :

as long as you understand that this just so happens to be the standard reaction of most females, you won't be amazed after you see the pattern happen over and over again.

a more logical female will have the same reaction, but maybe direct her anger towards Abercrombie & Fitch for creating too many cute outfits instead of just the one that she bought.

Yea I know females to be all about their appearance and get mad if some other female is dressed the same way. What I was getting at is how can she justify the anger when she shopped at a place (like Abercrombie) that sells so many of the same outfit.

As RedBaron mentions; cognitive dissonance explains part of it. I think also the need of the individual to maintain a positive self-image. (ie a smoker who inevitably will tell themselves that smoking isn't that bad to feel better about engaging such activity.)

An experiment on the subject:

Spoiler

Self-justification often comes into play when discussing why individuals make “immoral” decisions. To keep viewing themselves in a positive light, individuals may rationalize unethical or corrupt decision-making using the aforementioned self-justification strategies.

In a 1958 study on cheating, Mills administered a test to a sixth grade class that was impossible to pass without cheating. Before the test, he measured each student’s attitudes toward cheating. He then gave the 6th graders the test without supervision but with a hidden camera in the classroom. Half of the class cheated and half didn’t. Mills then measured each student’s attitude towards cheating after the test. He found that the students who did cheat developed a more lenient attitude towards cheating while the students who did not cheat developed stronger attitudes against cheating.[8]

In Mills’ study, self -justification occurred. After each student decided whether or not to cheat, they justified this decision to make themselves feel good. In order to reduce their cognitive dissonance, the students that did cheat altered their thoughts on cheating: i.e.- “cheating isn’t that bad” or “cheating was required in order to achieve the prize” - to justify their actions. On the other hand, students that did not cheat may have justified a lack of success on the test to: “I have too good of morals to cheat” or “Cheating is never right.” In both instances, the student is trying to justify their actions and retain their self-concept.
This experiment shows potential dangers of self-justification. It seems that people who partake in unethical behavior may become slightly more accepting and comfortable with their actions.[9]

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-justification

@Etheri : Yea, I don't think there is any thinking involved just pure reaction. No self-awareness aside from feeling. No empathy.

@PhoenixRising :

Most people are stupid. This explains phenomena such as the one you described pretty well I think. It may be a cultural thing as well. Materialistic cultures tend to influence people to use objects they own as a means of competition. A classic example is lawns, it's quite cliche, but neighbors competing about who has the best lawn. For males, another cliche is penis size. lol, where do people come up with this stuff?

Sadly, I think you are right. About the stupidity and the culture. This case probably does have competition involved. I am talking more about:

What I was getting at is how can she justify the anger when she shopped at a place (like Abercrombie) that sells so many of the same outfit. "

I think the stupidity is a product of the culture. Just look at the people who are glorified in this society (Jersey Shore, reality-television, rappers). Being dumb is easy. Being entertained is easy. Being smart is difficult.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Indeed stupidity is an unfortunate reality in the human race. Those of us who rise above stupidity are usually hated by those that are too lazy to try. I think you are right that both cognitive dissonance and self-justification are part of the woman's thought process in justifying her anger. Part of it may also be the idea of a self-centered universe. A lot of people think that the world revolves around them. So perhaps she thought that if she had a certain outfit from Abercrombie, it was impossible for anyone else with the same outfit to be in the same place at the same time. In her self-centered universe, the other woman with the outfit had no cosmic right to be in the same restaurant, she was violating her god-given rights (as the ruler of the universe). So in this way, she believed she had the same right as any dictatorial queen to be displeased (The queen of Hearts "off with her head" is a good example of the attitude). It's sad, but I've known people that really do base most of their actions on this type of worldview.