Impromptu Joke Making

[NinjaSurfer]

the quality is assumed to be low considering the point is to free-write the first joke that comes to mind...


so a man walks up a driveway and sees a woman, the man says:

"hey what's your sign?"

she says

"stop."

the end.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

so this guy goes skydiving, he jumps out of the plane, but forgets to put on a parachute.

the end.

 

[Roran]

A seal waddles into a club.

 

[Inceptacon]

Knock Knock.

WHo's there?

No response.

No response who?

.

 

[pjoa09]

When life gives you lemonade try to reconstruct the lemon.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

James Holmes walks into a movie theater.

 

[warryer]

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

 

[catatonic]

My precious, I want to kiss your ring.

--To be continued--

 

[Coolydudey]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why not?



This may exist already.

 

[Stoic Beverage]

Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
*silence*
"...Damn teenagers."

 

[NinjaSurfer]

Why did the homeless man cross the road?

I dunno, why?

I threw some pennies across the road.

Oh, did he get the pennies?

no, he got run over by a car.

the end.

 

[duke of new york]

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"...Go fuck yourself."

 

[NinjaSurfer]

hey I think I just felt an earthquake!

who cares.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

hey I think I just felt an earthquake!

Yea I felt it too, it was pretty small though.

(that's what she said)

 

[catatonic]

whatever who carez

 

[Thurlor]

What's hot, yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard.

 

[catatonic]

Why the color orange is called as "orange" but the color green is not called as "salad" ?

Whatever Who carez.

 

[ijustprotectedmyidentity]

what kind of call does a marathon runner make?

A long distance call
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ur moms so stupid she returned a puzzle piece because she thought the portrait was broken.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
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not really impromptu.... ill guess ill do one right now:

so my hairstylist told me that if i wanted to cut my hair a certain style i should bring a picture of that person ---- I brought a picture of GOKU from dragon ball Z and i was dead serious about it.