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I'd Like to Introduce My Self (?)

Da Blob

Banned
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I just found out about the MBTI a few years ago in grad. School at the age of 50, previously I did not consider myself as having any personality… I just found this forum a few hours ago. The report below was written a week or so after I’d received my type designation.
It is odd that I feel more comfortable criticizing myself, than doing something actually creative that could be criticized. At some point in my past, I began to believe, defensively, that self-inflicted pain, such as criticism, was preferable to having pain inflicted by others. That being said, there is a great deal about my profile that is substandard, which might reflect poorly on my personality and my abilities. I have a crudely fashioned personality, crafted in haste to deal with a hostile social environment. My personality is a defense mechanism and not a polished artistic work that facilitates aggressive social transactions. My personality is a very small portion of who I am. However, I have claimed the analysis of my MBTI and added to it interpretations of my values, interests, motivations, knowledge, and mission statement.
I'm classified as an INTP, but it might be more useful to think of me as a NTIP. I hit the limit on the Intuitive Scale with a score of thirty; I'm a 20 on the Thinking scale, a 16 on the Introvert scale and just an 8 on the Perceiving scale.
My preference for being an extremely intuitive type is not because I believe in psychic powers, but because of my memory capability. There are two types of memory, Recall and Recognition. I do not seem to have much Recall memory, but my Recognition memory is very, very good. It expresses itself as déjà vu, tip-of –the-tongue, what's-wrong-with-this-picture kind of input to my conscious mind. Over the years, I've grown used to this type of input as being, for the most part, trustworthy. For this reason I do very well on multiple-choice tests, but not so well on fill-in-the-blank tests. I do not know if there is real intuition, however, leaving myself open to this type of input from my memory has on numerous occasions resulted in "recognition" of experiences, which I had not experienced at the time of the "recognition". I simply file these " recognitions" in the Weird, Bizarre, and Probably Co-incidental Folder . It not easy to relate this preference to any one of my interests, but generally anything to do with thought and reflection that I enjoy is probably due to some degree to my intuitive nature.
My score on the Thinking-Feeling scale probably is due to my "Boys-Do-Not-Cry" upbringing, where all emotions were suppressed. Expression of emotion resulted in a severe beating or worse. While I cannot condone this attitude towards children's emotions, I have learned, that for me personally, any decision I make or action I take that is based upon emotion results in remorse. Emotions change and are temporary experiences, so that I have never learned to trust my own emotions. I do know whether this preference has caused me to be a thinker, and enjoy activities that involve thought or if I think simply to avoid the fear of feeling(?).
My score on the Introverted-Extroverted scale is directly related to my perceived status within a group. My interpersonal habits formed while a low-status social outcast as a child still influence how I deal with social situations. However, there are a few groups, such as my fraternity brothers or the other members of my college football team that would laugh at the idea of me being considered an introvert. I'm an Extravert with children or others who are not offended by my seemingly patronizing-condescending mannerisms. I enjoy the company of children, when engaged in my usual solitatry pastimes of hiking, fishing, rock collecting etc.
My score on the Judge or Perceiver scale was just an 8 out of 30 as a Perceiver. Although Myer's designed this scale to measure how an individual uses perceptions when "forced" to extravert. I can only see it as a measure of perceived control of the environment, a power issue. For me, Judge/Perceiver is not an either/or preference; it really depends on the particular circumstances. I think I prefer Judging when I am alone, but Perceiver when I'm involved in group activities. Skeptically, I would have to admit that as much time as I spend in solitary pursuits, I might be more of a Judger than I would like to be.
I did not notice the relationships between my stated values until I began this exercise. Freedom and self - control are variables in a perfect positive relationship, as are spiritual growth and the perception of beauty and as are learning and independence. The more self-control one can exercise, the more freedom one is given. Extrapolating this to society-at-large it could be said the more a people are capable of governing themselves, the less need they have to be governed. I believe this country was founded on that principle of self - control or self- government, resulting in a government of the people, for the people and by the people. A similar relationship exists between learning and independence. The more one learns the less dependent one becomes on others. I know, personally, that there is a direct relationship between spiritual growth and the growth of the ability to perceive beauty, but I do not know how to share that type of experience symbolically in words.
I am motivated to achieve, more specifically in terms of achievement theory, I am internally motivated to maintain a mastery orientation. That means I enjoy challenges, when there is a good possibility of success.
My interests change as often as the wind, I am attracted to novelty - plus I have a warped mind, I can find something interesting in about any situation. I even think that there are some interesting aspects to statistics. The usual pattern is that I will find something new, investigate it in an almost manic state until I reach a decision whether to go on with it or drop it. I usually drop an activity, anyway, once I have succeeded, and the challenge had been met. I also drop activities once I realize the chances of success are slim. I rarely persevere through adversity.
I have been reading college - level material since I was 9 years old and I have working at least part –time since I was eight years old, I’m full of knowledge. However, I do suffer a tremendous lack in the wisdom necessary to benefit myself or others from that knowledge.
I know that my listing of skills is a matter of raised eyebrows. To quiet concerns, no I am not exaggerating, I truly have been a Jack-of all-trades. I jumped from job to job, never finding a good job for a college dropout. I worked several years as a Temp and was held in high regard by whatever employer I had that month. I also have a tendency to get bored, and since temp work is easy to find, I often quit a job once I excelled in it (yet still did not get hired as a full time employee). I am concerned that others might look at my work history as evidence of someone with a drug problem or mental disorder or something else of that ilk, not being able to hold down a job for any length of time. The truth of the matter is I have had very few jobs that were worth holding for any length of time.
Perhaps, my mission statement is a bit over-dramatic, but then again perhaps not. When one begins a quest of this type, a bit of the dramatic is permissible. I believe what I said, so I convinced at least an audience of one.
 

Ogion

Paladin of Patience
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Ok, i am going to be non-appreciatively short about this (i do not have much time today):

Hi and welcome to the forum. May you find interesting and enlightening discussion. I'm sure you will ;)

Ogion
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
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An audience of two.

Sounds like you have thoroughly analysed all at your disposal and have an exceptional understanding of who you are.

You will find you have much in common with others here. This particularly stood out for me:

robi9839 said:
I have learned, that for me personally, any decision I make or action I take that is based upon emotion results in remorse.

Yep. Too often true for myself also. But 'mistakes' made thusly are often the most fertile grounds for furthering an understanding of oneself. And some situations are seemingly magnetic, drawing one back to reiterations of theme over and over. A kind of emotional evolution.

If you find yourself in need of a safe emotional playground and are open to some absurdity, try checking out The Arena in the Inner Sanctum. :D

Welcome.
 

Da Blob

Banned
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Thanks, I'll check out the Arena
 

Jesin

Prolific Member
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Yes, NoI, there certainly are.

Anyway, welcome to the forum. Yup, sounds like you fit this forum well.

You might want to talk to Decaf about the concept of the intensity of your preferences.
 

Chronomar

NOPE
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I hit the limit on intuitiveness too ;)

It's people like us who walk into walls because we were off somewhere else and not paying attention to our surroundings like S people do.
 

flow

Audiophile/Insomniac
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173 threads, 2450 posts later.... :elephant:

happy one year anniversary (nearly), you post-crazy perceiving (self-judging) God-fearing/loving blob of a person, you. I have to admit I often think of you as one of those ridiculous religious zealots on random street corners preaching to unsuspecting citizens in need of saving.. I'll just have to accept that you've found your street corner of choice. :D
 

Toad

True King of Mushroomland!!!
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Happy one year blobby! You're a 50 year old grad student? That's cool.
 

Da Blob

Banned
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Happy one year blobby! You're a 50 year old grad student? That's cool.

Yes, it has been an interesting year and I could not help but notice that the quality of my writing has slipped since that first post.. Which just as well, as I would be feeling really, really guilty about writing 2500 'good' comments but not trying to organize those words into something substantial like a few chapters in a book or whatever...

BTW - I am now a 54 year old with a Master's degree in Human Relations with a couple years experience working as a counselor in a prison...
 

Firehazard159

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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*takes this all far too literally*

*Tries to process going from 50 to 54, gaining a masters degree, *and* gaining a couple years exp. as a prison counselor, *all in the span of a single year*

;)

Congrats ^_^
 
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