I need to sleep for the sake of my eyes sockets

[TheManBeyond]

I just wanted to write.

In two weeks the only day i could sleep for more than 5 hours was last friday.
I go to bed like at 3 am but i'm not necesarilly doing anything productive. I just want to keep my head occupied in things for a while, failing at every fkcin attempt to create some interesting song, somehow i seem to be more inspired at like 2 am. And i feel crazy because at that hour i'm dancing with my guitar singing while everyone is sleeping.
I have to wake up everyday at like 6.30 so normally i don't sleep more than 3.5-4 hours, if i'm lucky i get to 5. And i'm falling sleep at the metro, bus, classes, train, toilets, etc. I talk with people but i'm like a ghost, move from here to there repeating words like "give me your child". My movements are more awkward. Sometimes i wish i could run through walls. I hit myself with things and i don't notice the pain so it seems i almost got there.

But i'm the only one to blame and i don't think it is even a vice. It is that i like to be here on the computer, it is warm. Something unusual, and i can be doing that from 21 to 3. And i don't have the patience to watch a serie or a film, i tried yesterday with naruto but the episode was weak, they are about to begin the war (yeah i'm far from ending it). I also tried Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto Inferno but i almost fall asleep in a matter of 20 minutes. I force myself to the gym but i can't lift what i used to, i see some pretty girls but they don't like me, too hot for me i guess.

And when i get to bed i throw myself there and i can't sleep. And i'm fucking tired! i do some tricks with my body to find the right balance and that posture of pleasure that sets you to sleep but i never find it.
And i don't think it is healthy. My eyes crunch inside, my eye sockets are becoming more pompous and the circles around them darker. Sinusitis doesn't help either, snots are phosphorescent yellow and it makes my head hurt as well.
I'm really angry with some things, frustrated.
I wish i could buy a boxing bag to exorcise it. I don't know what's been done and what was just my imagination. Sometimes i remember some shit that pissed me off and it is like i'm rediscovering it.
Time heals eh? quite.

"give me a leonard cohen afterworld, so i can sigh eternally"

EDIT: but i wouldn't care about sleeping if i could get some inspiration to finish my demos. But not just average inspiration.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Sounds like you need to smoke some pots

 

[StevenM]

I better quote you before you delete it all.

I just wanted to write.

In two weeks the only day i could sleep for more than 5 hours was last friday.
I go to bed like at 3 am but i'm not necesarilly doing anything productive. I just want to keep my head occupied in things for a while, failing at every fkcin attempt to create some interesting song, somehow i seem to be more inspired at like 2 am. And i feel crazy because at that hour i'm dancing with my guitar singing while everyone is sleeping.
I have to wake up everyday at like 6.30 so normally i don't sleep more than 3.5-4 hours, if i'm lucky i get to 5. And i'm falling sleep at the metro, bus, classes, train, toilets, etc. I talk with people but i'm like a ghost, move from here to there repeating words like "give me your child". My movements are more awkward. Sometimes i wish i could run through walls. I hit myself with things and i don't notice the pain so it seems i almost get there.

But i'm the only one to blame and i don't think it is even a vice. It is that i like to be here on the computer, it is warm. Something unusual, and i can be doing that from 21 to 3. And i don't have the patience to watch a serie or a film, i tried yesterday with naruto but the episode was weak, they are about to begin the war (yeah i'm far from ending it). I also tried Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto Inferno but i almost fall asleep in a matter of 20 minutes. I force myself to the gym but i can't lift what i used to, i see some pretty girls but they don't like me, too hot for me i guess.

And when i get to bed i throw myself there and i can't sleep. And i'm fucking tired! i do some tricks with my body to find the right balance and that posture of pleasure that sets you to sleep but i never find it.
And i don't think it is healthy. My eyes crunch inside, my eye sockets are becoming more pompous and the circles around them darker. Sinusitis doesn't help either, snots are phosphorescent yellow and it makes my head hurt as well.
I'm really angry with some things, frustrated.
I wish i could buy a boxing bag to exorcise it. I don't know what's been done and what was just my imagination. Sometimes i remember some shit that pissed me off and it is like i'm rediscovering it.
Time heals eh? quite.

"give me a leonard cohen afterworld, so i can sigh eternally"

EDIT: but i wouldn't care about sleeping if i could get some inspiration to finish my demos. But not just average inspiration.

Everything you wrote really reminds me of this song.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDQiUGHAFHY

 

[crippli]

I used to say when I was a child that I was only resting my eyes, to much amusement for the grown ups. I slept all the time. The whole night, on the bus, in classes, when I came home on the sofa, at the end of dinner( obvious when my head hit the table). I brought a cap to school, in the hope that the teacher wouldn't notice when I fell asleep. Later I even slept when I was driving. Crashed. Again, to more amusement for the energy company I worked at. They said there people had been spotting a sleeping driver far up the road.

If you like, you can even call me sleepy.

 

[TheManBeyond]

3.53 am, tomorrow i have to go to a recording session in a friend's house at 11 am. I'll be in between dimensions, perhaps my creativity get boosted in that zone, i feel much of it gets wasted in dreams about some girl of the gym and her yoga pants. Damn.

 

[QuickTwist]

3.53 am, tomorrow i have to go to a recording session in a friend's house at 11 am. I'll be in between dimensions, perhaps my creativity get boosted in that zone, i feel much of it gets wasted in dreams about some girl of the gym and her yoga pants. Damn.

Oh, how I miss wet dreams.

 

[Cherry Cola]

You def need to smoke pot

 

[8151147]

Sound pretty normal to me. I haven't sleep and eating in 2 days straight, more than a week without bath. I've depressed, stick to the computer to surf webs and code.

 

[nanook]

as an introvert, you are entirely incompetent, tmb. but you surrender fully to extroversion, i give you that. go, have another coffee. have you tried coke or ritalin yet? your subject needs no attention, only the world is important. sleep is for pussies who don't get laid.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I have seen beyond any nasa telescope. Period.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Here's a tip, if you smoke pot you're sacrificing dream states for stone. So that's reduce creativity for dreaming and perhaps more for other stuff, assuming, while stoned, you are able to "operate heavy machinery". Good luck and goodnight

 

[onesteptwostep]

f*** i've been awake 20 hours now i think. empathy post

 

[onesteptwostep]

oh and, alcohol helps. i think like 2~3 beers and some meat should put you to sleep

 

[Pizzabeak]

These are merely my own experiences. But I sometimes I can be stoned for a week or two before coming down. I recently did this before building up a tolerance and waking up one day, realizing that I was able to remember one or two frames or still images from a dream. This was exciting, long time no see. I didn't smoke for two days and had two vivid dreams although I doubt they were "lucid". Regardless, I liked them. They can be fun, especially after not remembering any for an extended period of time (I think it's agreed that dreams are had but not remembered as opposed to simply not dreaming at all).

Okay, I was a little worried at first because I didn't remember anything initially. However, I remembered something from days past, which is that something most likely soon will trigger a memory of an instance. It could be something as simple as "dog" or "Larry". Sooner or later I remembered, and some stuff I was thinking about before I went to bed found its way into the dream, of course. Sometimes, though, stuff from longer than a few minutes before bed finds its way into the dream(s).

To re-iterate, this happened again. I was going to smoke last night but decided not to because I sort of wanted to see if I would dream (they can be fun, vaguely trippy memories) plus I didn't really feel like smoking..... Was disappointed when I woke up because I couldn't remember shit, but 20 or so minutes later, I remembered most(?) of it, and felt satisfied. Some, um, interesting adventures we had there, and curious people we met.

Some people are all about staying up as much as possible though, seize the day. I think some training is needed though. Don't think I've ever actually had a proper lucid dream and I want to experience more false awakenings, for what they are worth. Forgot where I was originally going with this post though, unfortunately, because I'm a stoner and didn't prioritize my memories correctly.

 

[nanook]

My dream recall is improving gradually, after one month without caffeine. Taking stimulants causes resistance, it makes us less sensitive, in this case to subtle aspects of consciousness. The say caffeine improves memory. They lie. It makes consciousness shallow and extroverted. You may remember more gross data from that wallstreet ticker you look at, while having your first coffee, but you forget who you are, in general, your subtle core becomes fragmented.

 

[eagor]

wait till you go 3-5 days, first time i ever considered suicide was when i was 4 days without sleep in like...7th grade i think (damn hormones). your whole body aches, the mere thought of food makes you heave and the fucking shakes, i also get really bad hallucinations (visual, audial, and tactile).

but as for the inspiration aspect i do notice an increase when i go beyond 16 hrs of wakefullness, it's the only time i get any real writing done. finally as pizzabeak and cherry cola have mentioned try smoking pot, at least that's how i get any sleep.