Teffnology
Valar Morghulis
- Local time
- Today 1:47 PM
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2015
- Messages
- 244
I am very glad to have benefited from life's seemingly orchestrated series of accidents, for the good this time.
Stumbled upon this collection of minds seemingly by random chance at precisely the right time.
I was born and raised in Grass Valley, a small foothill town of the Sierra Nevada mountains in Northern California near Sacramento. And, yes everyone grows HELLA ganja out here. An NFL player gave up 8 figures to move out here just so he could smoke and study yoga. Then I guess he had an awakening so to speak and went back and played well and made even more money on his next contract. It wouldn't surprise me if Ricky Williams is an INTP or that he could somehow attribute his success to our weed.
Just recently ended a 7 year relationship/3 year marriage to a ENFJ hardcore nondenominational christian who teaches elementary school and prefers Disney movies. Needless to say we had our issues. Met at the end of high school- where I was masquerading as an idealized verzion of myself which I constantly engaged my inferior external feeling to get that natural high that only love/lust seemed like it could offer but oddly enough had never given weed a try at that point haha.
I kind of always viewed school as a game that I was really good at. All the way through senior year I was top 1% in everyone of my classes and my version of studying was watching Seinfeld reruns and playing Madden. I went for a Biochemistry degree at Cal Poly SLO and treaded water my first year while doing a long distance relationship. Wasnt feeling fulfilled and just felt like all of what I was learning was just the way to regurgatate a system of flawed rules and exceptions. Organic chemistry was the straw that broke the camels back midway year 2.
I dropped out hit the bong and been hooked since. GF never seemed so keen to the idea and so I elected to hide it from her to varying degrees of success and failure throughout the years and all during our marriage. I worked nights so Id just do it while she was already asleep. Knowing now the only sliver of a possibility of hope for keeping that pairing together as a relationship was to adopt a 100% open and honest policy. I had already sabotaged my marriage before I had even decided to propose. I greatly valued my me time becuase that seemed to be the only way to really discover any truth in the world and was often annoyed at my spouse when would come home early. Things ultimately came to a head when I suffered a work injury and went through a major depressive episode. Naturally I resisted the conventional treatment path that everyone (mainly christian extroverts) were pushing on me and rather went deeper inward trying to comprehend the root of why I was feeling this way knowing that most medicine really only treats the symptoms and not the underlying cause. Talk therapy has been a train wreck every time my family has blackmailed me into trying it. I freaked out and just bolted without any kind of discernable plan.
Starting living out of my truck, gambled away the little money I had left, was drinking a handle of Sailor Jerry every 2 days, and got my license and 2 cars taken away. Was forced to move in with my mom, discovered my innate INTP traits, and have been just absorbing countless information about my behavior and the world that I am subjected to live in. Also, how I can better understand the deeper meanings of WHY I feel so empty and meaningless constantly rather than simply taking a herd mentality and take some prozac and go about business as usual. I dont want to understate the value of psychological pharmaceuticals I simply detest the now over stigmatization that drug companies have instilled in society of merely treating the symptoms of the problem as to keep the underlying issue in check so that a dependence is generated for a now lifetime consumer of their product. That is what makes me depressed haha.
I recently read Dr. AJ Drenth's, The INTP and was so relieved that such an definition could finally give me some words for how to explain how my brain works. It really helped me gain perspective on the way I was acting.
Stumbled upon this collection of minds seemingly by random chance at precisely the right time.
I was born and raised in Grass Valley, a small foothill town of the Sierra Nevada mountains in Northern California near Sacramento. And, yes everyone grows HELLA ganja out here. An NFL player gave up 8 figures to move out here just so he could smoke and study yoga. Then I guess he had an awakening so to speak and went back and played well and made even more money on his next contract. It wouldn't surprise me if Ricky Williams is an INTP or that he could somehow attribute his success to our weed.
Just recently ended a 7 year relationship/3 year marriage to a ENFJ hardcore nondenominational christian who teaches elementary school and prefers Disney movies. Needless to say we had our issues. Met at the end of high school- where I was masquerading as an idealized verzion of myself which I constantly engaged my inferior external feeling to get that natural high that only love/lust seemed like it could offer but oddly enough had never given weed a try at that point haha.
I kind of always viewed school as a game that I was really good at. All the way through senior year I was top 1% in everyone of my classes and my version of studying was watching Seinfeld reruns and playing Madden. I went for a Biochemistry degree at Cal Poly SLO and treaded water my first year while doing a long distance relationship. Wasnt feeling fulfilled and just felt like all of what I was learning was just the way to regurgatate a system of flawed rules and exceptions. Organic chemistry was the straw that broke the camels back midway year 2.
I dropped out hit the bong and been hooked since. GF never seemed so keen to the idea and so I elected to hide it from her to varying degrees of success and failure throughout the years and all during our marriage. I worked nights so Id just do it while she was already asleep. Knowing now the only sliver of a possibility of hope for keeping that pairing together as a relationship was to adopt a 100% open and honest policy. I had already sabotaged my marriage before I had even decided to propose. I greatly valued my me time becuase that seemed to be the only way to really discover any truth in the world and was often annoyed at my spouse when would come home early. Things ultimately came to a head when I suffered a work injury and went through a major depressive episode. Naturally I resisted the conventional treatment path that everyone (mainly christian extroverts) were pushing on me and rather went deeper inward trying to comprehend the root of why I was feeling this way knowing that most medicine really only treats the symptoms and not the underlying cause. Talk therapy has been a train wreck every time my family has blackmailed me into trying it. I freaked out and just bolted without any kind of discernable plan.
Starting living out of my truck, gambled away the little money I had left, was drinking a handle of Sailor Jerry every 2 days, and got my license and 2 cars taken away. Was forced to move in with my mom, discovered my innate INTP traits, and have been just absorbing countless information about my behavior and the world that I am subjected to live in. Also, how I can better understand the deeper meanings of WHY I feel so empty and meaningless constantly rather than simply taking a herd mentality and take some prozac and go about business as usual. I dont want to understate the value of psychological pharmaceuticals I simply detest the now over stigmatization that drug companies have instilled in society of merely treating the symptoms of the problem as to keep the underlying issue in check so that a dependence is generated for a now lifetime consumer of their product. That is what makes me depressed haha.
I recently read Dr. AJ Drenth's, The INTP and was so relieved that such an definition could finally give me some words for how to explain how my brain works. It really helped me gain perspective on the way I was acting.
