Growing old alone?

[DaDaMan]

I am curious to know what single people here feel about growing old alone? Do you worry about it? has the thought of it ever crossed your mind? are you comfortable about it.

 

[TimeAsylums]

such trivial matters

c'est la vie

comfortable

 

[DaDaMan]

such trivial matters

c'est la vie

trivial? perhaps to you.

 

[TimeAsylums]

trivial? perhaps to you.

indeed. it is our opinions that you seek, no?

I am curious to know what single people here feel about growing old alone?

 

[The Void]

Irrelevant comic implies that the matter of the thread is trivial to me too. I used to think about those stuff when I was 6 or 7 years, lol.

 

[Lot]

I think about this every time I wake up with lower back pain. Every time I look in the mirror and see my thinning hairline.

I am both happy with growing old and frightened. So much time wasted, but so much progress made in a short period of time. The future is so open and yet so limited. I still haven't even truly found my place in the universe.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but aging is a double edged sword.

As far as being alone. I used to fear that the most. I still don't want it to happen, but when think about what my friends can benefit my, I think I won't really be alone. Having a steady sexual partner, that I share my life with, would still be better than just having friends.

 

[Hawkeye]

I rarely think about growing old.

I'm alone most of the time, but I'm not lonely.


If I ever became lonely, I'd seek to remedy it. At the moment though, I'm pretty okay with being alone.

 

[digitalbum]

Hell yeah! Terrifying. I don't think it's human nature for us to grow old alone. We're tribal animals that probably need the company of others throughout, not just our lives, but especially that final decade.

I'm not as much scared as growing old as growing old without having made the most of my life and without having created or joined some kind of family or community. I'm not sure whether I'd want a female soul mate, per se, to grow old with, but the idea doesn't sound too bad as I've met a small handful of women in my life I seem to be able to have endless conversations with. Would probably be nice to have that when we both get old and saggy and our sexual organs die out.

 

[Architect]

If you're single, then you're growing old alone. What was the question?

 

[Jennywocky]

Mixed feelings.

I think it's weirder for me because there was a time in my life where I thought I would be with someone until one of us died. Now that marriage is over and I'm alone again -- except the fact I had to make a marriage work inadvertently changed me so that I wanted to be with someone and didn't enjoy being as alone as much. So now I'm back in the solitary lifestyle and having to cope with a loneliness that didn't used to bother me and decide how I want to respond.

At the moment, I've kind of accepted I'm alone, there's little chance I'll find someone I really connect with well enough to want to be with for the rest of my life, and focus instead in being productive with my time.

But I think it's the loss of options that bugs me -- each day, month, year, a little older and "less marketable" so to speak, if I'd ever change my mind and want to be with someone. Oh well. I'm gonna be okay, either way, and do my best to enjoy life.

But yeah, there are some experiences i'd like to have with someone nearby, and I miss some of those interactions that occur between two people who are intimately familiar and accepting of each other.

 

[Architect]

I think that in a good relationship, the high and the low extremes are greater. The high points are "more", and conversely since you also share in another persons lows you experience that to a greater degree too. Being single is a smaller range of experience since there is just you. This gets pushed in either end too - with an incompatible or pathological partner the lows are even lower, and the same for the highs with a highly comparable and or stable partner.

So it's subjective whether it's better or not, but in general I think finding a comparable partner is preferable to not, but obviously that involves a lot of luck and circumstance.

 

[Cognisant]

Grow old? I'm still growing up

(Psychologically, physically my biological growth cycle is over)

 

[Spirit]

There can be only one.

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

Never bothered me that much.

 

[Duxwing]

Growing old? I'm still growing up!

-Duxwing

 

[Pyropyro]

Even if I stayed single I'll probably won't be able to experience growing old alone. My nieceor nephew will probably take care of me when that time comes.

 

[DaDaMan]

If you're single, then you're growing old alone. What was the question?

Wow, what a f'kin genius. The question is in the OP if you care to read it you f'kin idiot.

You state that as though you were stating a fact. A person could be single and have a multitude of social\living arrangements and not necessarily grow old alone.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I find it deeply unsettling that dying is such... a public event. When a death is anticipated, people congregate and then watch that particular individual die; pondering the soonest they can discuss inheritance without looking like a psychopath. 'Dying alone' is considered a scary phrase, but I'd cherish a bit of privacy when I meet my maker. A sudden, isolated death would be the best imo.

 

[Kuu]

I used to worry a lot about this in the past. Perhaps as a result of a constant streak of short-lived relationships and another series of long-distance (pseudo?)relationships, as well as a diversification in various sporadic social activities, I've managed to come to terms to a certain intellectual or emotional togetherness/intimacy that is distinct from physical closeness. If one considers loneliness as a state of mind, a psychological issue, rather than the fact of being physically isolated, it might be possible to reach some sense of social/emotional fulfilment without spatial immediacy. With that in mind, I have achieved a state of mental peace an stability and don't fear loneliness anymore. The thought that just a single person somewhere out there in the world thinks the same, feels the same, or at least tries to understand, is enough to keep that at bay.

I'm more concerned now about dying without actually achieving anything of worth.

Wow, what a f'kin genius. The question is in the OP if you care to read it you f'kin idiot.

Was that really necessary?

 

[redbaron]

I've thought about it, and I guess I've accepted that I probably will grow old alone at some point in time. I'm not single now though, however when I was I didn't really mind the prospect of being on my own forever. There's certain freedoms that you're afforded by being single and it varies from person to person as to whether or not the benefit of those freedoms outweight the benefits of a partner.

I know a few people who are older and single, and many of them seem quite genuinely happy - moreso even than a lot of people who are married or with partners. They still have good friends and I do think it's perfectly possible to lead quite a fulfilling and enjoyable life without having a partner. In fact I think some people are better off this way.

Also worth noting, it's possible to be single and still have people close to oneself that provide all the things that a partner normally does.

Was that really necessary?

I loved it. Please give Architect a warning for being redundant, and promote DaDaMan to the rank of, "Commander of Fucking up Motherfucking Fuckers".

 

[Hawkeye]

Was that really necessary?

Did it offend your eye sockets? If so, reply to this thread

I thought it was a great retort to failed smart arsery.

 

[Base groove]

Agreed. Voted thumbs-up.

 

[bemused]

We all enter death alone anyway? Who cares?

 

[Redfire]

Aging is a disease. If I had AIDS, would I feel better knowing other people also have AIDS? No.
Would it make any difference if I have friends and family supporting me? No. There's hardly anything they can do, I'm still dying.

Grow old? I'm still growing up

(Psychologically, physically my biological growth cycle is over)

Every breath you take brings you closer to death. Not on any abstract sense either: it literally ages you.

 

[Steven Gerrard]

I look forward to being sixty and falling apart and being alone. When I can't support myself it's time to go.
I can dye without inconveniencing or disappointing anyone. this maybe immature, but it is how I feel.
I hope to make my visions a reality before or at that time.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Although I think I could handle growing old alone (20s-50s) that doesn't mean I would like to. Living for myself without at least a purposeful cause seems very egoistic and I can't justify such a superfluous indulgent life to myself. I have been existential about this for awhile now.


I think it is being overlooked that as you age your physical body and mental health deteriorates. It may get to the point where you cannot do simple daily tasks without debilitating aches and someone's aid. People who are old and in a relationship can benefit from the mutual physical and psychological support, without which I think old age could be severely depressing.

 

[Grayman]

I suppose if I were lonely I might have considered this sooner. Now that you mention it, I am not to thrilled about being in a home. Otherwise I will be the old guy neighbor who just shows up at your house to chat without an invite.

 

[Pyropyro]

I suppose if I were lonely I might have considered this sooner. Now that you mention it, I am not to thrilled about being in a home. Otherwise I will be the old guy neighbor who just shows up at your house to chat without an invite.

So can I stay in your lawn when you grow grayer Grayman?

 

[Grayman]

So can I stay in your lawn when you grow grayer Grayman?

I won't have a lawn but if you would like to live like a couple of hermits in the mountains together I would be glad to do that instead.

 

[Pyropyro]

I won't have a lawn but if you would like to live like a couple of hermits in the mountains together I would be glad to do that instead.

Nah I'm doing fine as a hermit in the plains.

 

[greenspace]

I think it depends on what you mean by alone. Does that mean without friends, kids/family and/or life partner. For me, as long as I have friends, I will never be alone. You dont need a wife or kids to feel loved. Your kids/wives can abandon you. Although friends will still leave you, if you cultivate numerous healthy friendships with compatible individuals, the chances you will be lonely will be greatly reduced.

I have an uncle that had a stroke. He had a particular friend who was self-employed and would drive about 35 miles every other day to the hospital to spend about 5 hrs with him. They had only known each other for about 8 yrs but they had similar personalities and were good friends. Luckily my uncle got better.

 

[Jennywocky]

I can dye without inconveniencing or disappointing anyone. this maybe immature, but it is how I feel.

All men dye.
Not every man really colors.

 

[Variform]

I am curious to know what single people here feel about growing old alone? Do you worry about it? has the thought of it ever crossed your mind? are you comfortable about it.

I don't feel like growing much older. Although I am at midlife and can look upon my own thoughts and find gems of wisdom that come with age and can foresee more of that coming, it doesn't weigh up to the pain of regret.

Growing old is just stacking up regrets if you ask me, because the older you are, the less you can still do.

So yes I look in the mirror and see the sign of age. I've been thinking lots about death. It is often on my mind, like a shadow. I have tried to let it inspire me, as per Castaneda's books, as a motivator to get more out of life, but it did no good.

The best age is around 19 or 20. Never will your body be that great and good looking. I foresee a steady decline. It is inevitable. And it could be bearable if you had a wife or life partner by your side. I don't want to grow old alone. I need someone to share the load. If I can't have that, and signs tell me it ain't gonna happen, I do not want to become an angry, bitter old man, wise with years but never sharing it with children or grandchildren.

Why would I want to stack more regret? My life means little in the grand scheme of things. I leave no children, no one will miss me, I leave as aI lived, unseen, unrecognized, scarcely loved. Forums come, forums go and even these words will fall away lost on some harddrive of some guy who will grow old and die just the same. His kids will find the harddrive and discard it.

Within the next 50 years none will remember me, my data and tracks lost in a chaos of internet data and the coming wars will delete most data that proves I ever was.

Every few nights I lie in bed, thinking, pondering, projecting my mind into the future. I am an old man, where will I live, what will I discard from my material stacked home when the time comes when I can't live alone anymore because of disease and old age. How long will I stumble about my empty home. How will my decay start, when I can barely read internet anymore, my hearing slowly deteriorating, or my eyesight. What wondrous thoughts will I still press through my aneurysm prone veins? And are they worth thinking with no one to hear them?

How lonely will I be. Should I write a declaration of non-reanimation now, or do I still have enough time left? Will I find a doctor who is not against euthanasia. Should I stock up means of an exit. Should I wait until I can walk no more to throw myself before a train. Or should I accept decay and die slowly, in some hospital bed, alone, as a nurse turns around to put something away, slip out of existence with a back turned towards me and a nurse saying 'Oh, he slips away. Should I...'

And a doctor says 'No...'

My end is reflected in the the deaths of millions going before me and after me. What meaning or purpose is there to it?

So I cast my mind forward and can already see the pattern laid out before me.

Am I depressed? No. And yet I think of ending it with clarity of mind by my own choice. And that is scary, because it is easy to contemplate suicide when you are deeply depressed. But to contemplate it lucidly is scary.

If receding hairlines are a fearful idea I would only think it is a symbol of a much deeper stack of regret and hopelessness ahead.

Why should anyone live past 50? Or 60?