Failed Dreams?

[Lol]

I've seen/heard a lot of people say that when they were a child/teenager, they had big dreams going into the adult world, but they never seem to achieve it.

Why?

 

[Nick]

Because if you're an INTP time doesn't really exist for you, shhhhhh don't tell anyone...., any once you've come to fruition in this beautiful world, you'll want to do everything and anything because you understand just about everything... then you remember there's a P at the end of INTP and you'll have these wild forlays about grand ideas you would have built, but you're lazy and nothing ever gets done, plus you only have 1 lifetime that we know about, and you can only do so much xyz in a finite amount of time.

[good luck out there champ!]

 

[Grayman]

I've seen/heard a lot of people say that when they were a child/teenager, they had big dreams going into the adult world, but they never seem to achieve it.

Why?

Because people fed them a crock of shit. "You can be whatever you put your mind to."

bullshit. You can be whatever you really 'want' to be and are 'capable' of being. Capable is key. Society does teach is to be practical. Building your childs confidence is important but 'moderation' people.


Most of the worlds issues can be refined to a single source and that is that too many people are fucktards.

 

[StevenM]

I was going to be a millwright engineer when I was a kid.

The bad part though, is that most of my obsessions and interests only last over the course of 1-6 months.

 

[Helvete]

Most people's dreams of grandeur requires a lot of work which they are unwilling to commit to. There are always easier alternatives which people will slip into and then at some point realise this and moan about what they could of been. Not thinking is easier than thinking and thinking is easier than doing, guess where most people lie.

 

[Pyropyro]

Our minds were simpler back then so we may have dreamed impossible things simply because we have very few info and experiences to work with. For example, we might have dreamed to dig a hole to China or become President of the world since it seems to be logical based on the cartoons that we watched back them.

As for more down to earth dreams (say being a lawyer), it may be because people simply don't want their dreams enough and settled on much easier things.

 

[Polaris]

I think there is also the element that people are made to believe they must achieve something important. Important being something of a certain standard that befits the zeitgeist. It's not just enough surviving; one must leave some sort of legacy as well. There is a lot of pressure on people to get the right kind of education, job, etc, so we end up kidding ourselves that these are the things that are worth dreaming about. These kind of pressures are so insidious that we accept them as part of our lives and don't pay much attention to questioning it. We look up to people who are achievers and wish to be more like them. Which can be a good motivator, but I also think there is another perspective missing; that it's also okay if we just live life simply and don't strive for dreams that aren't our own. I think those are the dreams that most often fail.

I have struggled with this question many a time. Not really knowing if my dreams are actually my own, or something that has been bred into me. I wish I could reboot and start again, sometimes -- this time without all the influences of parents, institutions, etc.

I suspect I might have become an artist, living in the woods, completely self-sufficient. Or something similar.

Then there's this paranoid aspect I have; that whatever decision I make, I'm still just a cog in the machinery because no matter what I decide it will never truly be my own decision. My thoughts and processes are so programmed I don't even feel human. Or perhaps, that is precisely what it is to be human.

I just don't know what is genuine or authentic anymore...or if such a thing even exists. I'm just a copy of something, with slightly different arrangements. I observe myself becoming more like my parents and it's fucking depressing. It's like I'm losing my sense of self.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

I think there is also the element that people are made to believe they must achieve something important. Important being something of a certain standard that befits the zeitgeist. It's not just enough surviving; one must leave some sort of legacy as well. There is a lot of pressure on people to get the right kind of education, job, etc, so we end up kidding ourselves that these are the things that are worth dreaming about. These kind of pressures are so insidious that we accept them as part of our lives and don't pay much attention to questioning it. We look up to people who are achievers and wish to be more like them. Which can be a good motivator, but I also think there is another perspective missing; that it's also okay if we just live life simply and don't strive for dreams that aren't our own. I think those are the dreams that most often fail.

I have struggled with this question many a time. Not really knowing if my dreams are actually my own, or something that has been bred into me. I wish I could reboot and start again, sometimes -- this time without all the influences of parents, institutions, etc.

I suspect I might have become an artist, living in the woods, completely self-sufficient. Or something similar.

Then there's this paranoid aspect I have; that whatever decision I make, I'm still just a cog in the machinery because no matter what I decide it will never truly be my own decision. My thoughts and processes are so programmed I don't even feel human. Or perhaps, that is precisely what it is to be human.

I just don't know what is genuine or authentic anymore...or if such a thing even exists. I'm just a copy of something, with slightly different arrangements. I observe myself becoming more like my parents and it's fucking depressing. It's like I'm losing my sense of self.

This is veering off topic and getting in the philosophical but I think what you describe Polaris is exactly the process of differentiation of self. How do you develop a sense of self? There is no self-the 'you' you know yourself to be, without relationship to others. Others, and in particular, those people who are important in our lives (parents, lovers, extended family, close friends etc...) are the reference point through which we violate our integrity and over time come to know who we are. The ernest questioning, doubts and attempts to free ourselves, take a courageous stand in doubt, is the process of developing our own shape. A solid but flexible self. Think of a single cell with a membrane that has it's own shape but that is porous and allows things from the outside to influence us and allows what is in, to get expressed to the outside. A lifetime process of becoming more genuinely who we are.

And so it goes with your dreams for yourself. You take paths that lead you and find maybe you want to go a different direction depending on who you are at that time. We're all seeking and evolving. Dreams are not static, like our 'self'.

 

[RaBind]

If I had actually achieved my childhood or my most ambitious goals I'd be the ruler of the world or some all powerful entity. People have unrealistic ambitions, not everything is actually up for grabs in practice.

I wish I could reboot and start again, sometimes -- this time without all the influences of parents, institutions, etc.

The mindset/idea of wanting to restart/change the past can get out of hand really quickly. You'd be unbearable burdened with an impossible amount of responsibility. Like depictated in the butterfly effect.

I just don't know what is genuine or authentic anymore...

Very much agreeable. Determinism can be pulled into this.

 

[Direwolf]

Im to stubborn not to achieve what i dream about.