Effects of being an INTP only child.

[Jason Evans]

I'm curious about whether being an only child (or not) has an effect on INTP-related development, or whether there's a correlation between INTPs and their childhood status.

1. Were you an INTP only child or did you have one or more siblings?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how well do you superficially connect to other people? Meaning, ability to shoot the breeze, hang out, etc. Nothing deep.

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how much do you feel deeply connected to other people?

Care to share? Thanks!

 

[toastedtruth]

1. A brother, 2 years younger than me.

2. 4.5/5?

3. 3/4

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

1. Were you an INTP only child or did you have one or more siblings?

One brother a few years older than me. He currently lives nearby (about 15min drive) although by next year I may be moving away. I'd tentatively type him as some sort of ExFP, if it matters at all.

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how well do you superficially connect to other people? Meaning, ability to shoot the breeze, hang out, etc. Nothing deep.

I'd say somewhere between a 5-7. I'm generally able to hold a basic conversation but I contribute much less than most people would. A usual conversation is someone tells me something mildly amusing (but not THAT funny) so I give them a little chuckle and nod and say "yeah" and all that and if I see that the other person expects me to say something else I'll try to come up with a question about them or whatever they're talking to me about in order to give them an excuse to continue talking.

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how much do you feel deeply connected to other people?

4ish. It's not so black and white, though, with a set number and it depends a lot on who it is. Most people I know would be closer to a 1 simply because I don't know/like/trust them enough to share my deeper thoughts with. Whereas I have a few friends that I just get along with on that deeper level really well and all that jazz.



I think having my brother in my life definitely did affect me in many ways. Where my parents didn't or couldn't teach me about the world, my brother would be pretty decent at doing it. He brought friends over a lot and I was able to watch how they interacted and learn how to make friends and stuff, among other ways he helped me figure out how to be all social. Granted, we never really were all that close (being four years apart meant we never went to the same school at precisely the same time, and we're just generally different people) and I definitely don't think he's trustworthy enough to talk about "deep" things with, but he's a fun and cool guy and I think he'd genuinely try to help me if I ever needed him to.

I'd say that he's always been more of a role model for me than, say, my parents. It was just easier to look up to someone from my generation than a couple old people. He was always social and had lots of friends and went to parties and was a pretty smart guy, and I wanted to be like him. Whenever he had friends over I'd follow them around and try to act like "one of the big boys" and like I could fit in with his group.

That said, since about sophomore year of high school, I slowly felt less like that. It was around that time where I had an unprecedented string of anxiety attacks unlike any I'd had before (I've actually dealt with free-floating anxiety my whole life, but this was just an awful month). These panic attacks kind of opened my eyes to the fact that I couldn't really be the social butterfly like my brother, as the anxiety was almost entirely caused by social factors. After this I came to value my introversion much more and no longer wished to be like him.


So, yeah. Kind of a long answer. Hope I helped.

 

[Etheri]

I'm curious about whether being an only child (or not) has an effect on INTP-related development, or whether there's a correlation between INTPs and their childhood status.

1. Were you an INTP only child or did you have one or more siblings?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how well do you superficially connect to other people? Meaning, ability to shoot the breeze, hang out, etc. Nothing deep.

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how much do you feel deeply connected to other people?

Care to share? Thanks!

1.
My parents had 8 children. I am the oldest. (7 boys, one girl)
3 of my younger brothers died (8~10 years ago). This means there's quite a gap between me and the other 'older' brother and my younger siblings (Ages are 20 (me) - 18 - 12 - 10 - 7.) The girl is the 10 year old. Why is explaining my sibling status so complicated...

2.
I think I do that, atleast for an intp, quite well. While i'll need encouragement / i'll never be the one to organise or plan anything, i'm often quite happy to go along. 7/10?

3.
2 / 10. Of the ones I met through 'rl', nobody comes remotely close to understanding me. There are a few I've met online and felt deeply connected to (after which I met a few irl.) That being said, most of my life i've been alone, lacking deep connections entirely, being misunderstood.
That being said, once and if I do genuinly connect with someone, i'll trust them fairly easily and value them very, very much. Obviously, that's not enough to keep them close, but I hear from all of them every few months.

 

[Architect]

1. Were you an INTP only child or did you have one or more siblings?

Several

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how well do you superficially connect to other people? Meaning, ability to shoot the breeze, hang out, etc. Nothing deep.

Hard to answer. I can connect superficially on a 8, but I usually choose not to.

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how much do you feel deeply connected to other people?

I feel connected to man kind, but not many people. By choice again.

My INTP only child son is similar I think, but he's not grown much yet.

 

[PhoenixRising]

1. I was an INTP only child. I learned how to entertain myself

2. I would say I'm a 1 maybe. I connect with people pretty easily when I want to, but it's never superficial.

3. I might be a 3 or 4. I can deeply connect with people when I want to. But I don't tend to open myself up very much. After all, I'm an introvert.

 

[redbaron]

1. Only child.

2. Could be anywhere from a 1 to an 8 depending on the situation.

3. Some people who I'd say are close to a 9, but if you're talking about the guy who I buy groceries off and others who I only have passing exchanges with, then a 1 or 2.

 

[Architect]

Jason Evans, what is the point of this question? Aren't you the one writing those INTP articles, are you doing another?

 

[Jason Evans]

Architect, yes, I'm the one writing the INTP Experience articles. The first couple were begging to be written. Those are issues that many of us seem to struggle with. From here, the explorations will be more nuanced.

There is quite a bit of sameness between INTPs, but also a lot of differences too when you drill down. Like falling on different ponts of a spectrum. When I write about my experiences, there is always a risk that it comes from a point on the spectrum that won't be universal enough to other INTPs. I'm asking these question to begin to analyzing and quantifying the differences. Do they come from our environment? Do they come from the particular brain we were born with? The community here is such a great resource for all of us to compare and contrast ourselves. Despite all of the materials out there on INTP, I feel like they are only scratching the surface of what really comprises the delicate mix of abilities, weaknesses, and feelings that make an INTP.

Are there any nuances of INTP-dom that are burning in your mind?

 

[Tempestas]

1. Only child. There weren't kids in the neighborhood that I would play with after school, so most of my free time was spent either by myself or in the company of adults.

2. With my closer group of friends, I'm like a sixish. It's mostly either I speak and they passively accept the words, or they speak and I just listen. It's not usually a real two way street.

3. There's two or three people that I connect to almost completely. Used to be one person that was a ten, but I've withdrawn and it's never more than an 8.5 with any of the two or three. There's maybe five that are ever more than 6 and everyone else is a 2, max.

 

[Irukanji]

1. Were you an INTP only child or did you have one or more siblings?

1 sibling, younger brother.

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how well do you superficially connect to other people? Meaning, ability to shoot the breeze, hang out, etc. Nothing deep.

7 or 8. I get along with everybody, it is relatively easy...however I hate people who pretend to know everything because I need to bite my tongue to stop me from correcting them on everything

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how much do you feel deeply connected to other people?

0-1, depending on my current mental state. The only major thing I have in common with other humans is that we are both made from the same materials. Other than that, I feel no connection. However there are a handful of people who I can connect with, but that is a small blip compared to the rest and we only talk rarely as it is. In general, I dislike humans as a whole but there are a few who give me hope for our species lol

 

[addictedartist]

Eldest sibling, one brother three sisters
*alot of alone time

9/10 unless Im upset about something in which case I would have to say sub zero, I actually push people away from me
*especially superficials

?/10 I connect with people often more deeply than I intend, which is to say people oftentimes will ask me what I think when they see I am thinking or will ask a question because I look like 'I might know'. I cannot connect deeply with others who dont understand me personally, or those who reject my personailty obviously; I have this feeling like people want to change me but end up changing themselves in the process. As an artist I have a yearning for deep connections however my introversion leaves me with my deepest connection always to myself, which strangely happens to strengthen my relationships with others
*my personality; friends tell me to shut up, when im not talking. I enjoy silence, and ripping apart movie logic whilst watching. remarkably competitive, and prone to rambling philosophic conjecture when drunk.

 

[m.love]

1.Yes, INTP only child.

2. 1 if I'm left to my own devices. 3-4 if I'm trying.

3. Almost never these days. The problem is, I rarely get past your point# 2, and then the probability I'd have enrgy to grow the relationship is quite low. I connected with all different kinds of people when I was a kid < 12 years old.

 

[eNyce]

I'd say somewhere between a 5-7. I'm generally able to hold a basic conversation but I contribute much less than most people would. A usual conversation is someone tells me something mildly amusing (but not THAT funny) so I give them a little chuckle and nod and say "yeah" and all that and if I see that the other person expects me to say something else I'll try to come up with a question about them or whatever they're talking to me about in order to give them an excuse to continue talking.

I completely relate to this. I usually find myself in situations where I feel forced to find something to say and it can come across awkwardly at times. It also makes me nervous when I know i'm going to be in one of these situations.

 

[Lol]

1) I was the only INTP with a family full of ESFX's =\

2) Around 6-8

3)0 - I Only have around 2 real friends and acquaintances, but even they aren't that 'deep'

 

[INeedToPee]

1. Were you an INTP only child or did you have one or more siblings?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how well do you superficially connect to other people? Meaning, ability to shoot the breeze, hang out, etc. Nothing deep.

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 (least to most), how much do you feel deeply connected to other people?

1. 1 sister, she's 4 years older than me
2. varies from person to person, but i'd say 5. but that could just be attributed to me losing interest in continuing the conversation.
3. this, more so than question 2, is dependent on the individual. i feel more connected to intuitives than sensors. i usually don't "deeply connect" until i've known someone for a while, but when i decide that a person is worthy, i can probably connect to a 4 at most.

 

[Satan]

1) Only child.
2) 1. I can easily connect with people in an artificial way, but not never superficially.
3) I'd have to say around 3 or 4, I rarely feel deeply connected to people, but there's a few cases where I have.