Dating an INTP as an INTP

[JR_IsP]

Hey guys, I'm kinda close to an INTP female in college (we both are in physics and we love talking about relativity, quantum, astronomy.... all that INTP brainstorming and stuff), and I think we like each other, but we are really too shy to really know, so.... what would you guys do?

What's the actual process of dating and stuff... for another INTP?

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

Throw Newtonian mechanics into the mix and you'll reach first base in a second.


On a serious note.. do some other activity with her. Like ride bicycles or have an energy drink or whatever the fuck kids do nowadays. Basically expand the range of activities you do with her to more than talking about physics.

 

[JR_IsP]

Throw Newtonian mechanics into the mix and you'll reach first base in a second.

On a serious note.. do some other activity with her. Like ride bicycles or have an energy drink or whatever the fuck kids do nowadays. Basically expand the range of activities you do with her to more than talking about physics.

I'll give that a try. Well, considering that the average weather early in the morning is quite cold (not Europe, but still cold), it may be an excuse for a coffee.

 

[Pyropyro]

Hey guys, I'm kinda close to an INTP female in college (we both are in physics and we love talking about relativity, quantum, astronomy.... all that INTP brainstorming and stuff), and I think we like each other, but we are really too shy to really know, so.... what would you guys do?

What's the actual process of dating and stuff... for another INTP?

How about board games cafes, visiting museums, art classes etc.? I find them quite useful for dating and befriending nerds. You got to pop the question of if you're okay to relationship upgrade after a series of dates though.

 

[Nebulous]

I dunno i personally have never been into the idea of actual "dates." It seems so uncomfortably scripted and formal. Ick.
I dunno. I feel like INTPs would value honesty and straightforwardness in a relationship- especially if the two of you already have a connection (in a telepathic type way almost. Like you just click, or you can understand or predict what the other is thinking about or feeling when you're talking.)
But I also think that INTP women tend to be complicated. Hard to understand emotionally because their emotions get swayed and dashed out by twists of 'logic' or rational, or cynicism.
If I were her it'd be cool to just hang out, but in a setting or something that feels more one on one and personal than having discussions in the hallway where there are other people you both know and all (or whatever it's like when you usually talk.)

TBH I'd get put off if someone straight up asked me out on a date..?
She probably expects you to be on a 'higher level' than just the typical people who find relationship cliches so genuine and all even if they're just faking it because it's 'how relationships work'
((Sorry if this doesn't make sense))

Blah blah blah.

But any basis of my ramble I suppose.. is that it'd be cool to be truthful but in a nuanced way. Like planning stuff. Making it sorta fun in a way where she can pick up on your intentions, a game sorta but like not in a manipulative way by that's sorta creepy but like ah I dunno say stuff that's typically considered "flirty" in a sort of playing-dumb way but like tilt yer head a lil and sorta raise yer eyebrows or wtv
I'm picturing you guys like smiling at each other in a sorta suspicious but admiring way
Makes ya feel awesome
Meshes together yer egos a bit and boosts them both

 

[Rixus]

I was under the assumption it would be like:
Other types flirting - "You look great in anything; even better in nothing."
INTP's flirting - "Well I agreed with your interpretation of the resuklts as a paradox of entailment, at least."

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

I'll give that a try. Well, considering that the average weather early in the morning is quite cold (not Europe, but still cold), it may be an excuse for a coffee.

ok, but let me be clear I don't necessarily mean a "date" per se. Like, you if you ask her out for a coffee and it's completely unexpected, that could mean to her that all that physics talk was just a lead-up to you asking her out. Preferably, do some very natural thing.

 

[JR_IsP]

Yeah, going out of nowhere and ask her out for a coffee may feel a little random.

 

[Rixus]

If you are already talking - talk to her about something not class related. Then if the conversation is successful, ask of she would like to continue the conversation and grab a coffee in the cafeteria or something.

 

[JR_IsP]

Well, we are talking already (for idk, two months or so, just that we are too shy to actually take the first step), it's kinda funny how everybody notices the spark in our looks and leave us alone while not even 'flirting'

 

[NothingReallyBlue]

I was thinking about this topic the other day. I've usually dated NFs and STs but I've never dated someone of the same type.

We INTPs are usually pretty passive, so taking an active approach and asking her out outright would be a helpful growing experience . It doesn't really matter how it starts in my experience.

Also, there is no process to dating. You have to ask yourself the question "what do I want from this?" It's been different for me asking out girls every single time, and basically what it comes down to is you have to actually take action in order for anything to happen.

Hope that helps