Constantly fighting myself

[Mia]

Anyone else struggle with their introvertedness? Because I do.

I go through periods of trying to be more open and extroverted as to improve upon myself, however I find myself being much more depressed afterwards. I think it stems from the fact that once I start getting into that state of mind I become incredibly critical of myself.

People around me are constantly telling me how wrong it is to not be extroverted, how tragic it is to not have a social life. Occasionally they will feel sorry for me, and that really pisses me off. And at the same time, makes me incredibly sad.

Trying to get by in the real world is starting to drive me insane, how do people find a balance?

Edit: And yep, realised I posted this in the wrong forum. Mybad.

 

[Absurdity]

People around me are constantly telling me how wrong it is to not be extroverted, how tragic it is to not have a social life.

how do people find a balance?

Tell those people to fuck themselves, and then go do your own thing.

 

[MichiganJFrog]

The pressure to be extraverted is, IMO, absolutely relentless. I'm like, really old, and I still catch myself trying to act like one of the "normals," especially in job interviews.

I wouldn't go so far as to say limitless vistas will open up to you or anything like that, but I have found that the more I accept myself, the more others accept me and vice-versa.

 

[Milo]

Don't try to be something you're not. Instead of trying to just talk, have an objective. Maybe you want to get to know someone better or you want some information on a certain topic and you know that person knows about it. Conversations don't last forever either. Don't be awkwarded out if no one has anything to say. Just move on to the next thing. If you don't have an objective don't feel like you have to talk. Just listen, you might hear something you want to know more about or that you can identify with or just go do something else. As long as you have something to put your focus on, you wont be self-conscious.

 

[own8ge]

Occasionally they will feel sorry for me

I experience your context too, but people don't feel sorry for me. That would be a privilege. And you are whining about that? ... 0.0

However, all besides that, it all sounds way to familiar to me. I'd blame my INFJness. Putting the blame on oneself, doesn't seem to fit the INTP profile. NFJs are constantly disappointed with themselves.

 

[Turniphead]

You might be interested in the Susan Cain book "Quiet".
It's fairly affirming of introversion and looks at how it fits into a larger societal context, outside of MBTI.

Be extroverted when you have to... avoid it when you don't.

 

[ShameFace]

The pressure to be extraverted is, IMO, absolutely relentless. I'm like, really old, and I still catch myself trying to act like one of the "normals," especially in job interviews.

ugghhh...job interviews.

The most uncomfortable kind of environment for me. When they ask me to say something good about myself. I always feel like I'm telling a lie, even if its the truth.

To the OP:

I'm sorry I have no advice for you. Any extroversion I picked up was by copying other people who were good at it, and kinda making it my own. Its taken me a long time to get the point I am now and its a constant struggle.
Maybe find some introverted friends in the real world and take advantage of a forum like this. A place like this could have helped me so much when I was a younger (pre-internet)

 

[Mia]

I have found that the more I accept myself, the more others accept me and vice-versa.

Yes, this is very true. I found that as a kid when nothing mattered I was able to make friends where ever I went.

I experience your context too, but people don't feel sorry for me. That would be a privilege. And you are whining about that? ... 0.0

I hate being felt sorry for. One of the few things I can't stand.

You might be interested in the Susan Cain book "Quiet".
It's fairly affirming of introversion and looks at how it fits into a larger societal context, outside of MBTI.

Be extroverted when you have to... avoid it when you don't.

I've read this book, it definitely helped my perspective on introversion.

I definitely don't believe that it's something wrong or unacceptable. It's just difficult for me to turn it "off" and "on" when I need to. Which makes dealing with relationships difficult, especially in the work environment.

 

[Adrift]

I hate being felt sorry for. One of the few things I can't stand.

Pity from others is never wanted by me either.

I don't care what others think about me, though. I am my own person that can live with my choices. Let them be my own. Others may say that being extroverted is great. That would be like me telling those people that reading a book for 5hrs straight everyday is great. Different people have different tastes in activities. That includes social activities.