Competitive people make me want to destroy them (or is it that)

[GYX_Kid]

I've identified what my flavor of ironically-competitive nature has become. Actually, as a matter of fact, I can't even say with certainty that this is a true shape of my emotion anymore.

Anyway, I'll omit what could be a long and mindfuckingly absurd real-life story, and get to the point being that at one point I briefly equipped the emotion outlined in this thread title and dogmatically set myself up to lure trolls and people who would believe they could devour me. It turned out to be a really bad idea given all the elements of reality, and I ended up getting badly hurt by a troll. But at the same time, I also have proof that this creature is a hopelessly miserable lump of envy and desperation.

Though I've added regret about not preventing the damage it caused, and the lack of hurt I could have briefly added onto its pathetic existence, I should feel some stupidly smug satisfaction about its failure if my emotion equals xyz. But it doesn't (which I should probably be happy about, as it probably makes me less narcissistic, which negates my previous idea about it).

So, it's good to care about your own life more than about the failure of a troll condemned from the start, or ironic victory over insular spheres of toilet, which can only drag you down. Even though I think it should be enjoyable to pile hate and despair on them, which might be a projection, it turned out in my experience that I didn't even feel that emotion at all.

 

[Namesmith]

That's a good sign.

 

[intpz]

That's a good sign.

Or not.