Cliques and Eventual Insanity

[Nikki 1635]

Observing the world, i see that cliques dictate everything. No matter at 5 years old on the playground, turning 16 and going/notgoing to parties.

Later getting a job is called "joining the team" now. Or being part of the family--strange how some families are more equal than others.

Strikes me that your navigation of life is almost wholly dependent on joining cliques. And that cliques by definition have to stand against anyone not in the clique. In other words, the real choice is whether to be an ass hole for life and make things easier on yourself, or to go it alone.

Or maybe nobody really makes this choice, people outside of cliques are ass holes who got rejected from access to any respectable clique.

Insane people, presumably, spent most of their lives trying to get into cliques and were rejected.

 

[Jennywocky]

What's your definition of "clique"? Any group that is larger than one person? If so, that might be an overly broad definition (especially if you include "family" in that definition), since clique is really a subset of a "group" in general, and groups can be more beneficial while still maintaining relatively flexible borders and NOT necessarily oppress/neglect outsiders in the ways a "clique" does. People band together to be stronger / more successful than an isolated individual. But of course, tribal thought can lead to treating "outsiders" destructively and also impose too many strictures on those who would desire to be part of the tribe...

(I also beg to differ on the issue of insane people: It's not fair that you feel I need a clique to reject me before I can become justifiably insane, after I've worked so hard to develop my own unique blend of mental instabilities.)

 

[Sinny91]

Anti-social behaviour is a trait of intelligence in a world full of conformists - Nikola Tesla.

Just stay true to your self. It drives me insane too.

 

[crippli]

A lone wolf may struggle more then the flock. If there is a lack of lambs it may even die. Or eat the whole flock of lambs by herself. Thereby growing strong and vital and find another lone wolf to mate with, that also have a kingdom by himself. Together they rewolf the land and drive the other flocks out.

 

[Yellow]

Cliques become less of an issue when you're out of school.

Children and teens are still developing socially, so even their herd mentality is immature. Adults, while still forming familiar groups, are more open to newcomers and accepting of people outside the group. You either have to rub a significant portion of the "clique" the wrong way, or be dealing with some particularly childish adults to really have an issue.

I've had plenty of jobs as an adult that had their little cliques, and it's rarely caused any inconvenience. They include you professionally, treat you respectfully, and recognize your work as well as anyone else's. You can join them too, if you fit the demographic.

Also, as you get older, the need to "fit in" decreases. Again, from mid-teens to early-adulthood, you are wired with an urge to develop your own social spheres apart from your family of origin. So if you are struggling to make friends, while your peers seem to do it naturally, it will become a source of frustration and possibly exacerbate the problem. Just rest assured that as you age, that strong urge to be included will fade a little. You and your peers will relax a bit, and making friends will become a little easier.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

In other words, the real choice is whether to be an ass hole for life and make things easier on yourself, or to go it alone.

Spoiler

Insane people, presumably, spent most of their lives trying to get into cliques and were rejected.

Meh, they form their own cliques too. Welcome to intpforum!

 

[EditorOne]

Turn it around and it makes more sense: most people are genetically hardwired by evolution to be favorably predisposed toward working in small, comfortable groups. Then there's us. Whether we are oddities or evolutionary failsafes, groups and belonging are not so important, once past junior high, at least.