Acquired INTP?

[AndyC]

When i was younger i was hypo-sensitive (INTP?) but very emotional, and carried thoughout most of my years with primary social interests because i felt different and didn't know what to do socially. Reaching the peak of the social ladder i fell to the bottom with other unfortunate events. During this time adolescence was starting, and i (being at a lonelier stage) started thinking more. In year 8 (now) i started ADD medication which showed me another less emotional but zombie like side of me my parents disapproved of so i tried to get rid of it and succeeded. I became really good at my skills this year, being in the D-class (math) to now having the choice of skipping a grade (math). Around the beginning of my mental growth I found myself with superior insight to others, and now don't know anyone who has insight like mine which is frustrating. I stopped doing music as much even though i learned guitar to a university level in a year. (i can learn anything i like as fast as i like.) At moments i can go into a state of rapid, deep thought processes (INTP shining through?). I started creating theories about dimensions after looking into quantum mechanics and i can make anyone around percieve me as a genius by showing them 0.2% of it(I dont do this often). I have trouble getting into my head to think because i cant find things to think about. I'm slowly becoming more and more of an INTP, but still have emotional elements, losing these when i get in my head. I relate to a lot of things other INTP's say, but i dont understand why my INTP attributes are only starting to reveal themselves now?



All that up there must be really badly clarified, what i am asking is (answer this how you like):
Was I constricting my already existent INTP personality with different values or did my environment contribute?
How do i develop my introverted thinking function?
Those are just guidelines to how you can help me understand this dilemma.

Sorry for the inconvenience occurring because of my lacking articulation ability.

 

[Haim]

A person with INTP way of thinking is not emotionless creature,just tend to think more in a logical type of thinking.There a thoughts which you can declare as false true or having reasonable chance and then there are thoughts which are emotion based which you can not declare as false or true.
Like a statement of mine "Life is amazing gift,only a fool will throw it away",is emotion based,not that it true not that you can call it false.
"The government is stupid" can mean
1)The government is objectively stupid,relative to the general population they show lack of intelligence.
2)The government is doing things which piss me off,hence they are fucking stupid.
The first you can argue against the second you can not(hence people piss me off)
MTBI does not talk about feeling feelings but type of thinking which are entirely different.

 

[nanook]

Perhaps you are falling deeper into the egoic state of consciousness, while you try to gain more control over your life or are allowed and even expected by society to do so. You invent more of a story about who you are and relate everything back to this story, which narrows your mental focus and also the range of your interests, as anything that doesn't serve the personal story becomes less fascinating.

This is the only way i can relate to what you write: While i take LSD, i am not "my type" as i know it or as it's described by anyone. Which is not to say, that i am like a different type, or some sort of average of all types, i'm just something else, altogether. And i am somewhat similar to how i was as a child, especially in very early childhood, before i had a fully formed self image.

Type is clearly defined by dualities of consciousness vs shadow and such dualities are probably features of the egoic state of mind.

Falling into dualities is not the same as developing functions. Your functions, whichever they are, are surely well developed (unless you are somehow bragging about your intelligence). But they may not appear as described by other people, who have a different focus or, i don't know why i feel the need to bring castaneda into this, i never cared much about him, but he calls this quality of focus "vantage point".

Assuming that a different vantage point than your own may be better than what you have now sounds like a typical story, that an ego would fall for. It creates an image of how you are, compares it to others and hopes that a change of image would yield in greater happiness. But the obsession with image is the biggest obstacle to happiness.

Also a different vantage point might be better, more mature or worse, from an objective developmental point of view, the ego wouldn't be able to tell unless educated. The ego might have an arbitrary story: "My state of mind is the best, it's the most human, alive, open to wonders, other people are dead and i find them lame" or "I'm highly sensitive, but i'm not as functional in the world of zombies and i will end up unhappy without social integration and women don't trust me, therefore i hate my sensitivity and hope to develop a more single minded goal oriented focus"