Social norms and social conformity

[WALKYRIA]

I'm not Sure if it's typical of INTPs but i always wanted to be immune to social conditioning/social control through conformity and social norms...etc Basically I've always wanted to live my life the way I wanted. Not to sound arrogant but I'm a multipotentialist meaning that I happen to be gifted in many areas... The problem is developping the different gifts because it's very rapidly difficult considering the many social limitations.
I understand that social limitation makes some sense( and some people actually like it!) but still it's limiting...
Anyway, these last days I've been thinking about How social norms are seriously painful for me to endure( and so see others conform with ease) and have been looking for ways to escape it, although the idea that i'll be forever a slave of social norms grows on me more and more... So what do you think about this and have you got solutions?

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

social norms are seriously painful for me to endure

social norms like what?

 

[Hadoblado]

I'm having difficulty understanding.

So you're someone who believes they have lots of potential. Potential to do what?

And that social norms are holding you back. Which social norms? How are they holding you back? Why can't you just fly the bird and do whatever you want?

 

[adversary]

I'm having difficulty understanding.

So you're someone who believes they have lots of potential. Potential to do what?

And that social norms are holding you back. Which social norms? How are they holding you back? Why can't you just fly the bird and do whatever you want?

^this, are you in some way being coerced into the fold?

 

[birdsnestfern]

Yes, some of us self actualize upside down to the rest of the world and do not need to conform. Or, by conforming, we lose too much. Fear has never been a motivator for change that works for me. It has to make sense, and thats what INTP is all about. Following a leader or group means you don't think you can lead yourself. Its NONE of my business how anyone else thinks, I'm not interested in conforming, just in ideas because ideas are good. All those institutions like church, school, work, social groups have fish hooks that catch people and make them serve someone elses rules or purpose. If you don't self actualize for yourself, and you lived your life just to fit in, how are you going to respect yourself? If you've got to do it YOUR way its telling you, your soul IS different, let it follow its own path.

 

[ZenRaiden]

lived your life just to fit in

I tried that all my life, but at the same time I never really got it.
Like no matter how hard I tried I just missed. Worse yet, sometimes I did not even know what the hell I am doing.
I think I got bit of that autism thing going on.
I probably won't fit in even if my life depended on it.
Because its so hard and exhausting.
But trying to fit in, I realized I don't know much about how to function on my own terms.
It does not help that many social dynamics are so arbitrary, that its hard to follow them to know what is sensible to others and not.
For instance if someone says lying is bad, and then you say the truth and people get pissed off. I mean what gives?

 

[sushi]

you probably will hate japan.

write a diary of what you are conforming

and what you are trying to express but inhibited to.

many such self inhibited beliefs have to do with parental programming rather than social situations.