There is no better way to get rid of harmful body thetans. It really works!
So, in light of this, I have decided to invent something called Zimpods. They are really harmful and are responsible for all human suffering and evil in the world. You already have them, and have had them for years without knowing. They will freaking kill you.
Now you know.
BUT there is something you can do about it! Join my religion for only three easy payments of $49.99! It's the only proven way to get rid of Zimpods once and for all. How else would you ever be able to rid yourself of the one true evil I pulled out of my ass? Christianity? Buddhism? NO! They don't even mention Zimpods in their literature. The Bible doesn't even recognize their existence!
But just think, you can be the first among your friends and family to be free of this sickness that they haven't even heard of! You'll be able to brag to them for years how you're free of the tyranny of Zimpods for good! Call now!
Echoplexism is not reponsible for any lost, stolen, or imaginary Zimpods that may attack you after joining. Initial starting fee only covers Zimpod prevention for 3 years, after which, any Zimpods that form spontaneously in your imaginiation or adapt biologically as the result of any of our other products are the sole responsibility of the consumer and cannot be used for the refund of any fees. We are not responsible for verification of the existence of Zimpods since such knowledge was given to us in a dream, which we all know makes it totally true. Results may vary.
Call within the next 10 minutes and receive an additional Zimpod Blaster/Bug spray! A limited time offer! Hurry!
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