Relationship with emotionally demanding GF (ENFP) is tiring as an INTP. How do you guys do it?

[Drvladivostok]

I just got into a relationship (romantic) with this ENFP girl, picked her to eat out and chat, tried our chemistry. Turns out we have some similiarity in mindset, can tolerate eacothers company and political-view, for some reason her occasional bull-headedness matches well with my laid back and disengaged nature, but the most glaring rift seem to be her constant need of affection and my very shallow supply of it.

Earlier in our second date, she confessed that I confuse her, I was replying to messages late, didn't respond to her approach correctly, didn't chat with her with proper template for a BF. She said I was too mechanical in my approach.

I mean I don't mind asking her how she's going everynight, everytime we meet I ask out on her interest, I try to make time for our dates even when I'm busy. What more do I need to do? She said her ex would writer her poems and love letters, un imaginably cringe.

See seems to want more attention than I can provide, she would bombard me with stickers each showing the same characters with differing emotional expression ranging from happy to angry to sad conveying her current state, and these stickers would be sent frequently relative to how long I haven't message her.

This emotional blitzkrieg would excerbate my exhaustion in trying to communicate with her and that in turn would provoke her further.

I was able to court ber easily because she was very direct and decissive about her desire which in turn makes the courting process very quickly.

Now I feel like I bit more than I can swallow aahaha, So any of you fellas have/had any ENFP girl?

 

[dr froyd]

i remember one girl thought i was angry at her because i didn't use emojis in text messages

like wtf i don't have time to craft every message to convey the right emotion. I simply don't deal with that kind of people, no offense to them

 

[birdsnestfern]

Will have to know your limit and only be around a high needs person in small amounts or else you will feel drained. If you find yourself yawning, or feeling tired around them, they are draining you. Some extroverts are energy vampires. Better to just know your limits and express that to her, that you can have fun doing day trips on weekends and then need down time to recuperate. Ask her to let her friends give her whatever other emotional needs since you are not good at that. Just be up front. If she really needs a lot of extra support that you can't give, don't fake it, it will erode you over time.

 

[Drvladivostok]

Will have to know your limit and only be around a high needs person in small amounts or else you will feel drained. If you find yourself yawning, or feeling tired around them, they are draining you. Some extroverts are energy vampires. Better to just know your limits and express that to her, that you can have fun doing day trips on weekends and then need down time to recuperate.

"Energy Vampire".

Damn straight. She would ramble and ramble and ramble on aboit her day and ignore my input non-stop for 15 minutes and I'd just sit there in the verge of comatose. She would also demand me to phone her at 22.00 - 00.00 everyday. Even when I'm still at work.

I guess I'll have to talk to her about boundaries. Tomorrow.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Yes, the most important thing with an insecure person is to let them know you care a lot, and are not angry at all. It could be they think the space in between means you don't like them, just tell her thats completely not true, introverts are built differently and just need a lot of down time between interactions. Or, that the phone issue is not ideal for you, that you will phone twice a week at a certain time, so she feels like you are still talking and to trust that you like her.