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My Fear

LucasM

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It seems to me, that my greatest fear, is that one day, I will wake up and not be me anymore. That ineffable core, that fountain from which I can impart thoughts and feelings, that well of creativity might one day run dry leaving me empty.
Each post I make, each work of art, anything that requires more than just logic and reason and words and actions, that requires me to dig deep inside of myself; I wonder, is this it? Is this the last time?

And it scares me...
*wimper*

And so I wonder, where does it come from, this inner spring? What must be done to ensure its continued survival?

Perhaps it is spiritual?
Perhaps it requires others?
Perhaps it just requires trust, self-confidence in the power of our 'selves?
 

Reverse Transcriptase

"you're a poet whether you like it or not"
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this thread should be in the Literature forum. :-P Nice prose
 

Da Blob

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Perhaps, if it should ever come to that.
One might attend a 'revival' of some sort.
Not being a parent I find the company
of young children quite invigorating
in this regard

Even the simple walk in the woods is
transformed into an adventure
an expedition into the "Great Unknown"
It becomes another episode of "The Quest"
The smallest of fish caught in The Pond
is still a Trophy, and the Loyal Dogs
are both Scouts and Guardians

For Me it's the Inner Me, The Inner Child
sheltered and protected all these years
that is the source of my creativity
the remnant of my Humanity.

So Revive the Child Within!
 

Ermine

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Creativity is a renewable resource. It's not a matter of running out, just losing the openness required for creativity, and using "adultish" endeavors like time, work, money, and taking care of others as excuses. For example, saying stuff like "I'll make art once I buy art supplies" or "after work", "after the kids are old enough to go to school" and so on. These are important, but very easy to use to procrastinate personal creativity.
 

Atriamax

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Your creativity builds upon itself. Your new thoughts and feelings will not run dry for the same reason anything else advances. i would say your creativity grows with more usage, gaining a little bit from last time and carrying that on. Technology continues to advance because the previous ideas are carried on; 100 years ago they could have never created anything close to the laptop im typing on now. its the same way everything we do makes new connections and Ideas to keep us living life differently day by day and across our life.
just my opinion, hope i wasnt shooting the wrong bird :)
 

Artifice Orisit

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Dude, what you just said is starting to make me cry,
*Sneeze*
Oh wait, never mind, false alarm.

But seriously now, you can have a life full of wonder and adventure with your own identity; you'll just have to be prepared to take some chances, make some mistakes and possible wake up naked in a far away country with know idea how to speak the language or whose house it is. :D

@-LucasM
Loss of Creativity: In my limited experience the creative aspects of one's mind become more productive when used often and supplied with new experiences. So just go out and expose yourself to new music, food, cultures, art, ideas, sensations, etc and your creative fountain will start spewing out more ideas than ever.

Loss of Identity: Things that influence brain chemistry and thereby a persons mind terrify me, the very idea of "me" being fundamentally changed without my consent or control is probably my greatest fear. Such a change would undermine my identity, my very concept of self and I don’t even know if I’d care. How can I justify my existence as an independent entity when the very identity that makes me such is purely a subjective concept in my mind.
 

Da Blob

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Not to worry, your Identity are those 'things' you Identify with...

Williams James said something like 'the sum total of a man's Identity can be measured by all that he calls, "Mine"...'

(Oh! Look I quoted again... Bad Blob, shame on you!)
 

Artifice Orisit

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I refuse to adopt the mindset of "prey",
Physical materials are of circumstantial usefulness, they do not define me.

Or possibly I misunderstood your point.
 

Melkor

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This fear is both illogical and sensible.....



Sensible...because you realise that your mind is in fact you.

Your memories, inklings,ponderings and quirks, all lurkign within, they make you you..

I am of the firm beleif that if you lose your mind, you losse yourself...


Illogical, because you have to remember two things..


One...


as with death, once it happens, you won't care much will you?


secondly, it's very,very,very,very,unlikely to happen.
 

Artifice Orisit

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Drugs, cancer, some diseases, some parasites, love, cybernetic enhancement.

All these things can alter your brain function.
 

Melkor

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hrm...fair point....


but one can refrain from love, one can not take drugs, and one can be extremely unlucky..


The diseases of the brain killing type are quite rare...
 
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| would most definately call High School Musical a brain killing disease....
 

Artifice Orisit

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One in four people have a parasite in their brain that makes them that significantly reduces reaction speed. It naturally lives in small fish and moves up the food chain by disabling this crucil defense mechanisum.

You heard me 1/4

Also...
Fun Section -> RPG Bond Film
*Cognisant uses his mind control powers*
go there, go there, go there
 

loveofreason

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What on earth is this parasite? Post a link!

I fear permanent loss of identity more than anything, but short voyages into boundlessness always yield the most productive and exciting material for the creative furnace. The returning to one's self is the important step - not being afraid to go, but remembering (and knowing when) to come back... and being aware that you always bring back the raw experience with which to change yourself.

I find the cyclic leaving and returning an undeniable way of moving forward. It is one of life's rhythms.

edit: did I say not being afraid to go? I should say, not letting the fear prevent you. Either you enter into these mind-altering experiences with some awareness and maintain some capacity to navigate, or they take you under.
 

Dissident

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loveofreason

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That's a fascinating link.... raises all sorts of questions...
 

cheese

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This is very interesting; I cannot relate to it at all. In fact, one of the things that terrifies me most is being aware of my existence. Every now and then I force myself to think about the fact that I am, that I am me, and that I can only exist as me. This invariably horrifies me.

I don't think you need fear losing your creativity. I think what would be interesting is discovering the root of this anxiety. Why do you fear losing yourself? It seems like you either know what defines you too well, or you don't know enough. The former implies possibly unhealthy staticity, and the latter not enough introspection and perhaps too much Pness. (I don't really know what I'm talking about. I'm just making this up.)

Anyway, I'd be interested to see where you get with this!
 

Da Blob

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I refuse to adopt the mindset of "prey",
Physical materials are of circumstantial usefulness, they do not define me.

Or possibly I misunderstood your point.



"Mine" can include subjective phenomena.

In fact, we know of a certain immature individual who get upset and feels significantly diminished, once he learns that an 'idea' he claims as his 'own' is actually one that has been documented by an Other in the distant Past...
 

Da Blob

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That's a fascinating link.... raises all sorts of questions...
and so does the related link listed at the end of the article.
The Fine Line Between Creativity and Insanity...
http://www.livescience.com/health/050907_schizotype_creative.html

There have been more than a few Sci-Fi stories based on the premise of genetic engineering via viruses and bacteria- not to mention parasites (Puppet Masters- Heinlein)
One should not be surprised then by the manifestation of such a infestation as fact as well as fiction.

It is documented that for at least one third of the human population, cognitive development is halted prematurely, as far as I know a parasite might be responsible for this retardation...


food for thought
 

Da Blob

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I fear permanent loss of identity more than anything, but short voyages into boundlessness always yield the most productive and exciting material for the creative furnace. The returning to one's self is the important step - not being afraid to go, but remembering (and knowing when) to come back... and being aware that you always bring back the raw experience with which to change yourself.

I find the cyclic leaving and returning an undeniable way of moving forward. It is one of life's rhythms.

edit: did I say not being afraid to go? I should say, not letting the fear prevent you. Either you enter into these mind-altering experiences with some awareness and maintain some capacity to navigate, or they take you under.

What an interesting link this is turning out to be...!

Personally, I do not like my Self, I have been conditioned from an early age to believe that Others do not like my Self and eventually I came around to their POV and internalized that which I saw in the great mirror of society. I believe that the is the cause of my Introversion. Many, if not all, of my family are popular extroverts.

Point being is I live for the rare opportunities to escape from that Self that is so despised by Others and Me. If i had an opportunity to leave that Self behind on a permanent basis I certainly would do so. I think that's why I consumed such massive quantities of LSD as a youngster...
 

LucasM

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Oooh, this is interesting. Totally not what I was expecting, but how can one expect F on an intp forum?
Illogical, sure, but the illogic is what makes it so fascinating.
Nice to know that continued exposure increases creativity, and thus I don't have to worry, but perhaps it is the whole reason that I do not KNOW where this creativity is coming from, that I find scary. Fear of the unknown? Fear of the possibilities present with not knowing with what I am dealing with here?
And I am rambling, but, usually, this helps. Must be my Pness.
I guess I'll never know, for I'll never know myself, and this is part of me and my physiology, so that by knowing myself, I'll not be myself, and thus, I'll never know myself, and the vicious circle continues.
Vicious?
It is only vicious if you want to make it vicious. Never knowing where or how you'll be from one day to the next, that can make for a fascinating journey.
And thus, the whole point of this is... :)
I guess, actually, there is no point.
Thanks.
Continue with your discussioning.
And if the word is 'wrong', if the grammar is wrong, remember, just think of it as 'right'.
Farewell.
(and I will not preview this post for a change before posting, think of it as an 'experiment')
 

Da Blob

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BTW not meaning to derail the thread, but if this cat-person thing has been around a while it could perhaps explain the myths and superstitions about the 'mystical' qualities of cats. What if black cats were the primary carriers, then having a black cat cross your path might really be bad "luck" etc...

EDIT: Hmmm there's a Sci-Fi scenario in that premise..

2nd EDIT: (Gee! I hope the CATS do not find out about this thread and that their soul-sucking, self - stealing abilities have been discovered by the INTPians...?)
 

Da Blob

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Here's a "cut and Paste" on the topic"


FELINE FOLKTAILS - CATS IN FOLKLORE AND SUPERSTITION

There are hundreds of feline folktales and superstitions - cats predict the weather, sense domestic disharmony, steal a baby's breath, steal a dead person's soul, bring either good or bad luck and carry away a sick person's germs. Cats' eyes tell the time or the tides. Cats are witch's familiars, enchanted princesses, beloved by priests and prophets or envoys of the devil since they were sneezed forth by lions on the Ark and not created by God. This is very much a romp through some of the feline folktales and superstitions found around the world.

CATS AND GODS

the Roman goddess Diana sometimes wore the form of a cat.

Chinese legends say that cats were put in charge of the world
and had the power of speech. The cats soon delegated this job to humans so that felines could laze about. That is why cats can no longer speak and why they wear supercilious expressions when they see us scurrying about!

The shadowy patches on the necks of Siamese cats are the thumbprints of gods who picked the cats up to admire them. Birman cats started out as a plain brown cats until one jumped on the body of a Burmese priest slain by Thai invaders and the priest's spirit passed into it. The cat's body turned golden while its head, tail and legs remained brown. The cat's feet went pure white as they had touched the holy man's skin.

In Ancient Egypt, cats captured the glow of the setting sun in their eyes and kept it safe until morning, making it unlawful for cats to be killed (except in ritual sacrifice by priests). When the Persians attacked part of Egypt they tied cats to their shields - the Egyptians dared not put up a fight in case they injured or killed the cats.

To Muslims pigs and dogs are unclean, but the fastidious cat is tolerated. The Prophet Mohammed had a tabby cat which fell asleep on the sleeve of his robe. Rather than disturb the cat, he cut off his sleeve when he answered the muezzin (call to prayer). This cat once warned Mohammed of danger and to this day tabby cats have the 'M' mark on the foreheads in remembrance of his blessing and three dark lines on their backs where he stroked his cat.

The Egyptians believed the 'M' to depict the sacred Scarab beetle while in Christian folklore it is the mark of the Virgin Mary who blessed a cat which killed a venomous snake sent by the Devil to bite the Christ child in his crib. In a related version from Christian folklore, the infant Jesus was laying in the mangershivering from cold. Alerted by his cries, a mother tabby cat lay next to the child to warm him up. In gratitude, Mary stroked the cats forehead, marking it with an 'M' and to this day, the caring mother cat's descendents all carry the mark of Mary.



Cats are often associated with demons

Fisherman sometimes throw a bit of fish back into the sea 'for the cat'. This cat was the animal form of a suspected witch . The Russian Karellian cat is a longhaired bobtailed cat. Karellians are believed to be enchanted princesses.

Many cultures consider cats to be mystical creatures which were really fairies or goblins in disguise hence the Norwegian Forest Cat is sometimes called the Fairy-Cat. Stare deeply into a cat's eyes and you will see visions of the fairy world which is spying on us through those self-same eyes. In Japan, vampires can disguise themselves as cats but are readily identified by having two tails while sorcerors disguised as cats enter houses to devour naughty children!

In a British folktale akin to Rumpelstiltskin a princess has to spin 10,000 skeins of pure white linen in order to save her betrothed from a sorceror's curse. Her three devoted cats did the spinning for her. A cats' purr is an echo of the hum of the spinning wheel.

In England, black cats are considered lucky and white cats unlucky. In America it is the other way; black cats are unlucky and white cats are the bringers of good fortune. In England if a black cat crosses your path you haven't offended the witch and she's passed you by (the cat either belongs to a witch or is a disguised witch), but in America the black cat's association with witches makes it a target for abuse not a good luck symbol. If it crossed your path from the left it brought ill luck, but if it crossed from the right it brought good fortune.

CATS FOR LUCK

In Russia, blue cats were often thought lucky while in Japan tortoiseshell-and-white ('mi-ke') is luckiest and tortoiseshell cats, especially tortie tomcats, are lucky for sailors wanting fair weather. Tri-coloured cats are also lucky in Canada, but naughty-torties are reputed to be troublesome in England. In Japan, a black spot on a cat means the the cat contains the soul of a departed ancestor. In Britain the black cat is considered to be a symbol of good luck and some people consider white cats to be unlucky, though "unlucky white cats" is not a widespread belief in Britain. In the US, white cats are lucky while black cats are unlucky and some shelters claim it is harder to rehome black cats because of the association with bad luck.

In many countries cats are said to foretell the weather. In Indonesia cats are thought to control the rain. Pour water on a cat and it will summon rain. Even today, the cloud-grey Korat is ceremonially sprinkled with water to bring rain for the crops.

In China the older and uglier a cat is, the luckier it is. This is self-explanatory as pets are forbidden and, according to a Chinese houseguest, his people traditionally eat "anything with legs except the table".

In parts of northern Europe a cat which enters a house of its own volition brings good luck with it. In Russia, couples make sure a cat moves into their new home with them to bring good fortune. In Japan, a cat waved a forepaw to beckon a lord into a building, saving him from a lightning bolt and the beckoning cat is still used as a good luck charm. According to Buddhists dark coloured cats attracted gold and light coloured cats brought silver.

In Abyssinia an unmarried girl who kept a cat was a wealthy catch. In rural areas of England it was believed unwise for a pregnant woman to let a cat sleep on her lap as the baby would be born with the face of a cat.



Siamese palace and temple cats helped guard precious treasure. So diligent were they that their eyes became crossed from staring at the objects they were guarding.


The belief isn't restricted to sailors. "Six-finger cats" are also lucky for Malaysian households.
 
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