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INTPforum trapped on an island

Reluctantly

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Okay, so we're all stranded on an island and have no way to contact anyone for help. No one has even been near this island in hundreds of years and there's no food on it. There are some trees and you can build a raft to sail away from the island, but that will take time and you need to eat to stay alive, until its construction is done.

So...we decide that after so many days we need to choose someone to eat. Who do we eat first and why? How many people would need to get eaten before the raft is done and even when it is done, people are going to need food on the raft, so factor that in as well.

And before anyone says it, you can't fish because you don't have the bait or tools. You could perhaps go spear fishing and maybe human flesh works as bait, but whether that would work and be enough to feed everyone is debatable, so let's assume that's not a plausible scenario.

canstock12135335.jpg
 

Cognisant

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You don’t need bait to build a fish trap.

Is there fresh water?
Are there rocks? What kind and how many?
What kind of vegetation is there? How many acres?
Is there clay? Are there insects?
 

Cheeseumpuffs

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i am basically skin and bones and won't be able to feed many.
conversely, i generally need little sustenance to maintain myself.

i propose we don't eat me at any point and i'll help out with any raft-building, or fish-trap-making, or hunting-down-another-forumite-to-cannibalize-doing.
 

nanook

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How long does it take to built a raft? I have enough bodyfat left to fast for 60 days, without loosing muscle mass - its 250-300 grams of fat per day on average, depending on your size and activity - some of you can surely go for a year. I find it hard to believe that an island that grows trees provides no edible plants, including sea vegetables, but even if we had to resort to flesh, we would have access to animals, many of which can be acquired with bare hands.

One thing is sure, with crazy amoral fucks like you around, i would be the first to leave that island and if it means drowning, i take it as an excise in mysticism. :mad:

destilating saltwater / capturing sweet water would be one of the first challenges.
 

Cognisant

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If we have to kill anyone we should kill Nanook first, his meat will last longer because it's salty :D

I may look meaty but I guarantee it's all shit and bile.
 

The Gopher

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As probably the only one with raft building and sailing experience it would be foolish to eat me. Also I would put up too much of a fight and we would end up eating the person I kill in self defense. No I'm not just saying this so I won't get eaten I totally know Kung Jitsu Maga.
 

Cognisant

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No shit Gopher visited me last week, he arrived on a motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back, for "sport" he says.
 

Nebulous

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First off, I'm 95 pounds. You would loose more energy killing and cooking me than you'd gain eating me.

I've watched every episode of Hannibal
I have plenty of cannibalism puns on the ready
C'mon. You know people are gonna get cranky after a while and we'll need all the puns we can get to keep us going.

Anyway. Once we kill someone, we've got a lot of material to work with. We can make fishing hooks out of bone, string out of tendons or sinew.
Tendons will be really important because we'll need to use them to tie the raft together.
Maybe we could make some fishing nets too, for when we're out on the ocean.

The idea of cutting of a limb just to get some meat & material without killing someone crossed my mind, but then I realized that the person would probably get infected. It'd be a giant waste.
We'd have to kill in order to use. Mm.

Also, ugh, living on human meat and fish alone isn't that balanced or healthy sounding. No edible plant life? Anywhere? Really?
 

Pyropyro

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Cannibalism is an excellent way of losing manpower and getting diseases

Ill probably just explore the island to find materials for food and shelter. If you guys want to go full Lord of the Flies then be my guest.
 

The Gopher

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Cannibalism is an excellent way of losing manpower and getting diseases

Ill probably just explore the island to find materials for food and shelter. If you guys want to go full Lord of the Flies then be my guest.

The point is that there is somehow no food. Which is silly. I mean we could consider what roles everyone would fall into if we were on an island with food.
 

Cheeseumpuffs

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I think the "no food" bit is meant to force an element of tension within the group, to keep the hypothetical a little spicier.
 

Pyropyro

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The point is that there is somehow no food. Which is silly. I mean we could consider what roles everyone would fall into if we were on an island with food.

Yeah it's kinda silly because it's not worth struggling to kill a human since it costs too much calories to capture and consume humans. We can always use clothing, excrement and dead skin to lure food towards the island anyways.
 

Cognisant

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it costs too much calories to capture and consume humans
Not really, the person chosen by the group to be cannibalized isn't going to get away unless they're the fastest, most enduring and smartest of the group. Indeed even if they are they need to sleep sometime whereas the group can chase them in shifts and on an island there isn't many places to hide, humans are astoundingly efficient hunters.

If there's two groups, one predator group and one prey group, then the predators might be unable to hunt successfully if the prey group is overwhelmingly large but then what's the prey group eating?

If there's two predator groups preying upon each other the conflict will result in casualties and a kilo of meat per person per day is sufficient, especially if they've still got fat reserves to supplement their intake.

This isn't sustainable but we already knew that.
 

redbaron

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Cannibalism via actually killing someone would be pointless. You'd have to choose in secret to avoid that person realising they're the choice, and it's inevitable that something like this would mean people form cliques for survival to avoid being 'next in line'.

So in the end you'd just end up fragmenting the survivors into smaller groups that just end up trying to kill each other.

The correct option would be to simply do our best to survive and if people die in the process so be it. The island will have enough resources to sustain the survival of X amount of people, it's just a matter of us ending up at X.

@Cognisant: it's not about whether or not the person gets away, it's whether or not the energy expended to catch and eat them is going to outweigh the benefit you get. This method will just descend into pure survival instinct in the end, with people pre-emptively killing to prolong their own survival.
 

nanook

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If we have to kill anyone we should kill Nanook first, his meat will last longer because it's salty :D

I may look meaty but I guarantee it's all shit and bile.


My body might be the least toxic, because i have been eating fruits and veggies and whole foods for years. The lot of you would give me all kinds of prion diseases and cancer, i wouldn't have a bite of it.

But .... i may actually already be affected with a prion disease.
Used to eat conventional trash for 30+ years ....
 

The Gopher

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The correct option would be to simply do our best to survive and if people die in the process so be it. The island will have enough resources to sustain the survival of X amount of people, it's just a matter of us ending up at X.

X is Zero in this situation. Am I the only one who still reads the OP?
 

Minute Squirrel

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If no ones been near it in hundreds of years then it's probably pointless trying to build a raft. How did we all get there? Were we just teleported? Since building a raft won't help I also don't think we should eat each other. It would just cause undue stress before our inevitable deaths.

I suggest a giant orgy.

However because of the probable presence of underage kids and old people I think this orgy should be reserved for those ages 18-50.

The others can spend time praying to what ever cruel force placed us there for liberation.......

Or is this all an allegory hidden in a hypothetical?

Does this cruel fictitious proposition you have laid out also discribe the absurd hopelessness of the human condition?

We as humans are just placed here, trapped by the laws of space and time without knowing why we're here or who(if anything) saw fit that anything should come to experience what we have deemed existence. And being placed in such a hopeless situation we have but two choices: do we bow to nature accepting our fate and place in the universe living happy lives in peace with all living things hoping that the answers(our salvation) will be given to us in due time(despite the overwhelming possibility that this path will lead to natural extinction)? Or do we chose to cause harm to our fellow man and to the beasts with which share ancestral ties to aswell all for the sake of progress? Historically war, cruelty, and exploitation, driven by human ambition has also made it so that many have been able to(through over abundance) dedicate their lives to understanding. And by exploting unhappy workers(an in some cases slaves) in third world contries today we grant the people of our land the possibility and freedom to study the mysteries of the usiverse and of ourselves. But for what? The odds are hardley any better than if we were to just live in peace at the sake of progress and ambition. All this "progress" is just vanity to vastness of space and time and will in all odds also be lost to its domain fading away along with humanity leaving nothing behind but entropy. So then what do we fight for? What do we cause all this suffering for? Is human cruelty and drive for power to be seen as disgusting vanity or is it one of mans noblest virtues? Ought it be seen as the determination of man to attempt rise above our absurd condition and become our own salvation?

Do I have answers to any of these questions? No.

Though, perhaps such are the qualities given to beings ordained by the universe to save itself from destruction.

Do I have any basis for such a statement? No.

Do I care? Kinda, but all I know right now is that a fourm wide orgy makes for interesting 3 AM fap material.
 

Cognisant

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Reluctantly said:
So...we decide that after so many days we need to choose someone to eat. Who do we eat first and why?
Minute Squirrel said:
I suggest a giant orgy.
Suicidal cannibalistic orgy? It would make a great painting.
 

Rixus

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I think we'll be fine. We'll look around the island a little more.
First of all, I'm sure we'll come across some fruit.
Then maybe once we find some ice cream and cake, we'll realise we're on a desserted island.
 

The Gopher

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Do I care? Kinda, but all I know right now is that a fourm wide orgy makes for interesting 3 AM fap material.

First of all after talking to people that's a more common dream for members here than you might initially think.

Suicidal cannibalistic orgy? It would make a great painting.

Like, whoever is worst at sex gets eaten first? I'm sure we could combine the two in a fun lighthearted sex game where the penalty is death.
 

Rixus

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I never say no to an orgy unless it's a canabolistic one. Wrong kind of eating for that situation. But now Gopher has opened a can of worms, and I would like to know who here has dreamt of a forum wide orgy. And can you describe it in detail, please?
 

Cognisant

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Disembodied brains on life support within a starship with our avatars meeting up in an extremely realistic virtual reality to do whatever we wish with whoever we wish in whatever setting/scenario takes our fancy.

Although I see myself being very dissatisfied with that, wanting to have a deep relationship with one person rather than trivial relationships with many.
 

Pyropyro

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I think there should be a INTPf law: aný threads about hypothetical situations will, given enough time, devolve into an orgy.
 

Jennywocky

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This thread quickly descended into the two constants of humanity, about which all great literature is written: Sex and death.

I still think it's silly to say there are trees on the island large enough to build a raft, yet no food. Is that a plausible ecosystem?

I am too funny and smart to waste on being a food resource, plus I have tuberculosis and you don't want to eat me.

Meanwhile, maybe everyone could just donate a limb? That way we can all just be handicapped for the remainder of our lives but no one has to die. Didn't you guys ever read that Stephen King story about the surgeon who got wrecked on an island by himself with no food? He knew how to remove his own limbs with surgical precision. I mean, a few of us need to retain our limbs so as to better hunt down and remove other people's limbs; I'm willing to make that sacrifice of energy and time and take extra responsibility in order to better serve my community [dinner].
 

Minute Squirrel

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I think there should be a INTPf law: aný threads about hypothetical situations will, given enough time, devolve into an orgy.

You call it devolution, I call it transcendence.



If we must become cannibles then I suppose it's only fair to eat people based on their activity on the forum since they joined. So all the lurkers will be eaten first. As I said though it's only fair as they have contributed least to the forum and people will have less of an attachment to them which would also optimize how long we'd be able to keep our sanity as well.

I suppose that means I'd be killed and eaten rather soon.

Oh well, I suppose it's for the best. Besides it's probably better than dying of starvation after weeks or months of killing and eating people some of which you might've liked.
 

Rixus

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Although I see myself being very dissatisfied with that, wanting to have a deep relationship with one person rather than trivial relationships with many.

Cannot help but wonder if this is directed at anyone in particular.

Anyway​, the answer of who to eat is simple. Every time someone random shows up on the island and says they aren't sure whether they're​ an INTJ or an INTP, we eat them. We'll never run out of food.
 

Nebulous

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This thread brought this older thread to mind
http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=24271

It was basically 'what would happen if the members of INTPf were stranded on the island from Lord of the Flies.'

That thread descended into orgy territory as well.
 

Reluctantly

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You don’t need bait to build a fish trap.

Is there fresh water?
Are there rocks? What kind and how many?
What kind of vegetation is there? How many acres?
Is there clay? Are there insects?

The water drops off into a deep murky abyss. There are aggressive reef sharks that comb the shores, so going into the water is dangerous. But you could try it I guess. There is fresh water when it rains, which it does about once a week. Yes, there's rocks? Island is 100 acres with bamboo trees. Sure there's insects and clay.

How long does it take to built a raft? I have enough bodyfat left to fast for 60 days, without loosing muscle mass - its 250-300 grams of fat per day on average, depending on your size and activity - some of you can surely go for a year. I find it hard to believe that an island that grows trees provides no edible plants, including sea vegetables, but even if we had to resort to flesh, we would have access to animals, many of which can be acquired with bare hands.

If you have enough body fat for 60 days, you sound like a good nutritious treat for the group.

One thing is sure, with crazy amoral fucks like you around, i would be the first to leave that island and if it means drowning, i take it as an excise in mysticism. :mad:

NEIN

Anyway. Once we kill someone, we've got a lot of material to work with. We can make fishing hooks out of bone, string out of tendons or sinew.
Tendons will be really important because we'll need to use them to tie the raft together.
Maybe we could make some fishing nets too, for when we're out on the ocean.

Alright fine, so we have to eat one person at least...

Also, ugh, living on human meat and fish alone isn't that balanced or healthy sounding. No edible plant life? Anywhere? Really?

You could try eating leaves and insects with Cog I guess.

This thread quickly descended into the two constants of humanity, about which all great literature is written: Sex and death.

I still think it's silly to say there are trees on the island large enough to build a raft, yet no food. Is that a plausible ecosystem?

Yes damit. ;)

I am too funny and smart to waste on being a food resource, plus I have tuberculosis and you don't want to eat me.

Meanwhile, maybe everyone could just donate a limb? That way we can all just be handicapped for the remainder of our lives but no one has to die. Didn't you guys ever read that Stephen King story about the surgeon who got wrecked on an island by himself with no food? He knew how to remove his own limbs with surgical precision. I mean, a few of us need to retain our limbs so as to better hunt down and remove other people's limbs; I'm willing to make that sacrifice of energy and time and take extra responsibility in order to better serve my community [dinner].

+

The idea of cutting of a limb just to get some meat & material without killing someone crossed my mind, but then I realized that the person would probably get infected. It'd be a giant waste.
We'd have to kill in order to use. Mm.

Nice ideas. :twisteddevil: I suggest eating all of Nanook's limbs so he can't run away and saving his body for sex.




edit: wait, why would you eat your own limbs when your body will consume itself naturally? Wouldn't you last about as long if you starved?
 

Minuend

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So we're saying for the fact that we wont turn on each other in some desperate survival game and that there is no other nutrition on this island. So if I'm taking this scenario as absolute truth, I'd say we eat anyone else than me >:

Seriously though, do we eat the sick because they can't contribute and risk becoming ill ourselves, do we eat the strong and hope we will become strong ourselves or do we eat those who never read a book on island survival or who at least can't even lie well as to whether they read a book about island survival

Also could even the 100 nerds of this site even kill the one jocky member?

You call it devolution, I call it transcendence.

If we must become cannibles then I suppose it's only fair to eat people based on their activity on the forum since they joined. So all the lurkers will be eaten first. As I said though it's only fair as they have contributed least to the forum and people will have less of an attachment to them which would also optimize how long we'd be able to keep our sanity as well.

Fuck everything I said, let's go with this
 
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We're a rather fatalistic group. I say we just eat the volunteers first. Should keep the group going for at least a little while. :rolleyes:
 

Jennywocky

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edit: wait, why would you eat your own limbs when your body will consume itself naturally? Wouldn't you last about as long if you starved?

I'm not sure. You at least would be keeping your not-essential limbs from demanding the energy your precious internal organs need to live. But then again... blood loss?

I think the doctor in the story just was consumed by hunger so much that he needed to eat before he went mad.


If we must become cannibles then I suppose it's only fair to eat people based on their activity on the forum since they joined. So all the lurkers will be eaten first.

Fuck everything I said, let's go with this

In the spirit of being a team player, I am willing to give this a shot.

(although those lurkers have a lot of experience hiding)
 

EyeSeeCold

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We're a rather fatalistic group. I say we just eat the volunteers first. Should keep the group going for at least a little while. :rolleyes:
The orgy or the cannibalism?

minute squirrel said:
If we must become cannibles then I suppose it's only fair to eat people based on their activity on the forum since they joined. So all the lurkers will be eaten first.
In the spirit of being a team player, I am willing to give this a shot.
*looks at post count*

Yes, that's a splendid idea ;)
 
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