INTP/ISTJ parent/child conflict?

[medisinman]

I know I can't be the only one who has this issue. My father is a die-hard ISTJ, and we seem to be at each other's throats whenever we come into contact. My main issue with him is that whenever we argue, he has zero ability to see beyond his perspective, and considers me irrational for not approaching things EXACTLY how he does. He also has a tendency to use self-referential information, and often comes up with accusations out of thin air, then tells me I'm illogical because I won't be a sycophant and give into his outlandishly biased ideals.

I believe that there is more than one way to skin a cat, and that as long as there are no fallacies in the way one approaches a situation, there should be a "live and let live" understanding among people. He believes, "My way, or the highway." This is why we never got along at home, and I honestly don't see that changing. I have tried to explain to him that we have different ways of viewing things due to our respective psychological makeups, but all he sees is, "You think differently, therefore you're wrong," and, "Since you don't see things like I do, I'm going to be patronizing as hell and treat you like you have an IQ of 4."

Who else is in this boat?

 

[rainman312]

It's an SJ thing. Most of them do it. There's basically nothing that can be effectively done to deal with it other than inciting drastic change in them, which is remarkably difficult to do. You learn to put up with it over time, or, you don't, in which case you're just making yourself miserable. Accept that that's who they are and it sucks, then move on. If it bothers you just mess with them using subtle sarcasm. A lot of getting along with people isn't getting them to see your point of view, or even reaching a compromise/half-way point, it's realize that that isn't going to happen and being conciliatory towards them even though you know they're wrong. If you can see their point of view and give it honest consideration (it's fine if you realize it's bullshit after this honest consideration, as long as you do legitimately consider it), you've done the best you can do, probably. This comes from a person with an ESFJ and an ESTJ for parents.