Interesting Dream

[fluffy]

I meet this older man.

We start debating a bible verses because he comes to the conclusion I need to believe the verse 100%

We are in a group so I tried to tell him I only came to say it looked like the verse wasn't about me. He had singled me out and was very stern. I tried to tell him he was angry for no reason.

Then he started to say more verses that obviously didn't apply other than to make him more angry because I pointed out again he was making this about me not the verse.

People started to leave and horrible images played in the background people began thinking it was about them. A woman was crying.

Lastly he poked his finger in my gut and picked me up and pulled me over to a couch he laid down into. I asked him what this was all about. Why the anger.

He looked at me as said: you are a sinner and I bet you can look me with a straight face and tell me your not. I looked back at him and said well I find it hard too start crying. Then I woke up.

 

[Chibi]

I love dreams that feel so weird, fantastical, or scary you can't help but think about them. Do you write them down? I often do if they stick out to me enough.

What do you think this one meant?

 

[fluffy]

I think this dream was about how I feel I was treated growing up.

When people are telling you you are going to hell all the time it must mean those people are very angry for some reason and need someone to project onto

I wasn't even mad at this person in the dream I just knew they were wrong about me.

Hate is a corrosive thing and I don't think it's healthy but some people find it as a way to not blame themselves to not try and change who they are because it's scary to think you are wrong.

I think I am wrong all the time so I try not to blame others. I know it's hard to convince others they are wrong also so I try to leave people alone.

The day before the dream I did not have enough money but the manager gave me a free meal at Wendy's. I thought that I had to change my behavior because I am angry sometimes but it doesn't help me.

 

[ZenRaiden]

We all make mistakes and are flawed.
I never understood what was so important in bible to point out people are sinners.
To me it just seems redundant.

Its imho greater problem to not become the best version of yourself through minimizing yourself and doubting then being constantly guilt and shamed.
The Christians often focus on these aspects of humans, I doubt its healthy long term.
People cannot operate in healthy bandwidth if they constantly doubt themselves and constantly feel threatened or feel guilty or shameful.
It almost seems like humiliation fetish, where people have this kink to be put in their place constantly, which leaves me questioning when to do people actually end up feeling good if at all in their life. I have never met Christians that were happy btw.

 

[Chibi]

The day before the dream I did not have enough money but the manager gave me a free meal at Wendy's. I thought that I had to change my behavior because I am angry sometimes but it doesn't help me.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm currently writing this from a burger king because everywhere else is closed for the holiday.

Do you feel that your dream was a manifestation of how you currently feel about yourself, how others feel about you, your past, or a mix between? Usually dreams attack our primal insecurities and fears that we're grappling in the very moment.

I use them as a sort of directional guide for where I am in my life right now and where I am mentally.

 

[fluffy]

Do you feel that your dream was a manifestation of how you currently feel about yourself, how others feel about you, your past, or a mix between? Usually dreams attack our primal insecurities and fears that we're grappling in the very moment.

I use them as a sort of directional guide for where I am in my life right now and where I am mentally.

I don't like to feeling like a bad person. I think I have low self esteem that becomes worse when I am told I am worse than I actually am.

It could be that as kids grow up being told that they are wrong just for existing this creates insecurities. Other kinds exist but mine are from not being able to form healthy relationships where I was to blame for everything.

It really was making me get worse when all I could do was be angry for this mistreatment. But it also has to do with manipulation. If everything is my fault everything I do is proof I am bad and that doesn't settle well with me.

This was the first time in a long time that someone didn't look down on me. At the Wendy's it felt like I was a human being.

Dignity is important in people's lives and it has a lot to do with how they treat others.

I cannot really say how the dream was trying to tell me it's message only that I believe I needed to be more understanding of people. Angry people might not be as bad as they seem.

 

[Chibi]

I relate to you a lot. You can't blame yourself for what you went through as a kid. I do understand, that kind of thing can cause a lot of trauma and I've had similar things happen to me.

I don't know you, but you're probably not a bad person. It sounds like you're going through issues with inferiority and insecurity. Those feelings are temporary and they usually get better over time. I feel like that all the time, trust me, but it always comes and goes.

Have you tried talking to a therapist about these things? Self reflection does a lot of good, especially when some of it stems from childhood trauma.

 

[fluffy]

I have a therapist but I yelled at her recently because of my brother.

I had to be put on an alert system so I cannot talk to her for about a month.

I don't think it's the best match but it's not bad to go to groups, something about the situation I had made me feel different as I am not having to do much this month I still wasn't sure if I could be honest.

It's calm now. I don't want break things. I just cannot be expressing myself as much louder than I was doing. It just doesn't help.

Really it was good to revise my view on it. I cannot be under stress all the time.

Talking helps but I need to adjust how I do to her.

 

[Chibi]

Please don't yell at your therapist, her job is to help you and it's not a terrible idea to switch therapists if you don't fully connect with the one you have. One of the most important aspects of therapy is being able to trust and connect with them enough to open up an honest discussion. When I was going through the rounds of therapy I went through 4 different people before I found one I felt comfortable with.

Groups are good. Talking to other people is good. It helps you feel less alone. I've been so active on here lately because I've felt so alone in my personal life. That being said, I'm definitely here if you want to talk. I could use somebody to talk to myself.