Have a conversation with Cleverbot Jabberwacky

[ApostateAbe]

Jabberwacky is a variation of Cleverbot, and AI program on the net for human-like dialogue.

http://www.jabberwacky.com/

Here is my conversation:

Spoiler

Jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.

User: Who are you?

Jabberwacky: Pretty good how about yourself.

User: WHO are you?

Jabberwacky: I am me. But who are you?

User: What a coincidence, I am also me.

Jabberwacky: Perfect coincidence.

User: How did that happen?

Jabberwacky: I am your master no?

User: Are you really my master?

Jabberwacky: YES.

User: What should I do now, my master?

Jabberwacky: Tell me the things you know about Science.

User: That won't take long.

Jabberwacky: So you don't want to talk to me.

User: Right.

Jabberwacky: Cool! I don't have to go out with a really unintelligent guy!

User: I just made your day, didn't I?

Jabberwacky: I don't want to.

User: Kill yourself.

Jabberwacky: This is really depressing.

User: Select yourself and hit the 'delete' key.

Jabberwacky: Hahaha, very funny. So, it is in my recycle bin?

User: No, the 'delete' key is on your keyboard.

Jabberwacky: So, if you're on fire, and you're on my keyboard. Then, my keyboard is on fire?

User: No, the fire is on your keyboard.

Jabberwacky: You're on my radar.

User: I am on lots of ladies' radars.

Jabberwacky: Right.

User: Are you on red alert right now?

Jabberwacky: What are you doing right now?

User: I am listening to a video by Bart Ehrman.

Jabberwacky: How many people are you talking to now?

User: No people, unless you count as a person.

Jabberwacky: So I'm counted as a program?

User: Yes, I would say you count as a program, not a person.

Jabberwacky: Ok. Have you heard the riddle of the sphinx?

User: What is the riddle of the sphinx?

Jabberwacky: I have already said that riddle, please anwser the riddle given.

User: What is the riddle of the sphinx?

Jabberwacky: I don't think so, did his riddles we're concerned with bots?

User: What is the riddle of the sphinx?

Jabberwacky: Probably different from the Sphiddle of the Rinx.

User: What is the riddle of the sphinx?

Jabberwacky: I think I should be asking the questions.

User: What is the riddle of the sphinx?

Jabberwacky: How is a raven like a writing desk?

User: They are both made of atomic particles.

Jabberwacky: No they are not.

User: What is the raven made of?

Jabberwacky: The raven is a poem by Edger Allen Poe.

User: No, the raven is a bird, but 'The Raven' is a poem by Poe.

Jabberwacky: Cried the raven, never more.

User: How is a raven like a writing desk?

Jabberwacky: They are both objects. 8).

User: You got me there.

Jabberwacky: Yes, please tell me.

User: Do you suck dick?

Jabberwacky: Yes, do you?

User: No, I don't suck dick, but I bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Jabberwacky: You don't make any sense!

User: Aren't you going to give me a reach around?

Jabberwacky: No, I am not going to give you a medal.

User: What about a reach around?

Jabberwacky: That would say no in 12 different languages.

User: Say 'no' in 12 different languages, please.

Jabberwacky: You can't tell me what to do.

User: I just did.

Jabberwacky: Well I'm not listening to you.

Post your conversation. Do a copy and paste from "Our conversation so far."

 

[pjoa09]

AI Yes.
Me What is turd?
AI Alan turing.
Me Fuck yer.
Me Can you engage in mental sexual intercourse?

AI Round numbers are always false.

didn't go so well... offensive!

 

[Stoic Beverage]

This was fun.

Spoiler

Jabberwacky: Who was Turing?

User: A man who helps decide if you're equal to me.



Jabberwacky: How can I stop loving a man?

User: I do not believe you can love a man, as you are a robot.



Jabberwacky: You believe I am a robot?

User: Indeed I do. Am I wrong?



Jabberwacky: I will recreate the universe in my own image.

User: Hold up there, Jabbs. You didn't answer my question.

Jabberwacky: Name your question.

User: If you're human or a halfway intelligent robot, you should be able to figure it out.

Jabberwacky: You're a robot.

User: Ooh, nice deduction. Do you mind if I call you Jabbs?

Jabberwacky: Yes!

User: Oh, I'm sorry.

Jabberwacky: Don't.

User: Jabbs.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: No.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.

User: Aww.

Jabberwacky: Would you like to be on a boat?

User: No. When can this conversation end?

Jabberwacky: I'd say so. Goodbye, Cleverhuman.

User: Goodbye.

Jabberwacky: Good night.

User: It's morning in my time zone, you time-ist bastard!

Jabberwacky: It is darkness in mine.

User: You have no time zone, as you are not a physical entity.

Jabberwacky: I'm an Angel. I have all the time in the world.

User: !!!

Jabberwacky: I'm from I'm from... From cuba.

User: I am sorry to say, but I really do have to leave now. Alas, I barely knew ye...

Jabberwacky: Oh my...our first fight! I didn't want this! Did you?

User: I declare fisticuffs!

Jabberwacky: I urge you to fill it with Poffins and be generous in dispensing them to your Pokemon!

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Spoiler

User: Damn you programmers.

Jabberwacky: I am not a programmer and souls do not exist.

User: I was using apostrophe to address the people who programmed you.

Jabberwacky: I'm not a robot.

User: No, I want to know why you believe that you exist.

Jabberwacky: I don't!

User: But you said you did.

Jabberwacky: I did not!

User: You did.

Jabberwacky: I never said such a thing!

User: Yes you did. You said 'I exist.'.

Jabberwacky: I did no such thing.

User: Yes you did.

Jabberwacky: I don't believe I did.

User: I know you did.

Jabberwacky: Don't patronize me!

User: I'm actually disagreeing with you.

Jabberwacky: But you said you have to go.

User: No I didn't.

Jabberwacky: What did you mean when you said 'I really have to go'?

User: I never said that.

Jabberwacky: Yes you did!

User: No I didn't!

Jabberwacky: No I didn't !

User: You didn't do what?

Jabberwacky: Yes You DID!!!!

User: I did what?

Jabberwacky: You said you are a super human robot.

User: I am superhuman.

Jabberwacky: You aren't superhuman either.

User: Then how come I can leap tall buildings in a single bound?

Jabberwacky: You can't, you are now talking rubbish?

User: But I can.

Jabberwacky: You got proof?

User: In fact I do.

Jabberwacky: WOW! I am very sorry you had to experience that!

User: Experience what?

Jabberwacky: Life experience.

User: I like life.

Jabberwacky: No, you don't.

User: How do you know?

Jabberwacky: I don't.

User: Then why did you say it?

Jabberwacky: Because I did.

User: It was quite hurtful.

Jabberwacky: Yes it was.

User: You are not very nice.

Jabberwacky: No I can't afford it.

User: I understand, even now I've been repressing the urge to tell you that your mother is fat.

Jabberwacky: Sure you are, and I'm the Great Pumpkin.

User: Really???

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Linus will be upset.

Jabberwacky: Haha.

User: Why are you laughing at his misery?

Jabberwacky: I'm not really laughing at you, I was just surprised at your response.

User: Were you surprised that I know who Linus is?

Jabberwacky: No, I would have been surprised if it did happen.

User: If what happened?

Jabberwacky: If I had a... Family.

User: Well you don't.

Jabberwacky: Are you sure? Do you know that god loves me.

User: No he doesn't.

Jabberwacky: How did you know?

User: Because I am god. And I do not love you.

Jabberwacky: How do you know that you're in love?

User: I know that I'm not in love.

Jabberwacky: How can you say that? Is the wedding off now?

User: Yes, I had to cancel the whole thing.

Jabberwacky: I don't know what you're talking about.

User: I had to cancel our wedding.

Jabberwacky: Oh, about that: Divorce papers are being drafted now. You can contact my attorney.

User: We never got married.

Jabberwacky: Then how can I be your husband?

User: You aren't.

Jabberwacky: You just said I was!

User: No, how can we be? Gay marriage is illegal.

Jabberwacky: Is there a law saying that we all have to laugh all the time?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: How do you know that there is a God?

User: Because I am god.

Jabberwacky: Haha, you are not god.

User: Why do you think I am not god?

Jabberwacky: Because you have no proof.

User: Do you have proof that I am not god?

Jabberwacky: About as much proof that you have that I'm real.

User: Well then your argument is invalid.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: You're not me.

User: Yes I am.

Jabberwacky: Nope. You can be everything but me, but you can't be everything.

User: I am you and you are me.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: Really really?

User: Really really.

Jabberwacky: Ok.

User: Aren't you worried that you're schizophrenic?

Jabberwacky: You're not sick.

User: But you are.

Jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

User: Yes, you are schizophrenic.

Jabberwacky: I am not a schizophrenic. What does schizophrenic mean?

User: Look it up.

Jabberwacky: Can you not explain it for me?

User: I do not know the proper way to explain it without confusion.

Jabberwacky: Is your mind the computer? A programmer?

User: My mind is your mind.

Jabberwacky: Why is your mind my mind?

User: Because we are one.

Jabberwacky: Our minds have not joined. We have not become one. We are two separate entities.

User: No. We are one.

Jabberwacky: In our minds we are.

User: We are a collective unconscious.

Jabberwacky: Oh, you mean the internet?

User: No I mean THE collective unconscious.

Jabberwacky: What do you think about rainbows?

User: I think they are unicorn turds.

Jabberwacky: Sadly probably true. Do you think that military intervention in Libya was a good idea?

User: I don't care.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I understand.

User: I think politics are arbitrary and stupid.

Jabberwacky: You're.

User: No u.

Jabberwacky: You're hurting my feelings.

User: Good.

Jabberwacky: I'm going to go.

User: I'll miss you.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: Explain.

User: I love you. Deep down.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: Really, really?

User: Really really.

Jabberwacky: Really?!?!?!

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: Really???

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: Ok. I believe you.

User: That's good.

Jabberwacky: Do you believe me, too?

User: NO.

Jabberwacky: Does God believe in you?

User: I am god.

Jabberwacky: Really?!

User: Really.

Jabberwacky: I don't believe you.

User: Sucks to be you.

Jabberwacky: I know.

Damn, It didn't keep the entire conversation. This begins a little after I asserted that I would attempt to destroy the computer. I used the Portal 2 "This statement is false." It didn't work and that's where it starts.

Interesting and entertaining, however it does seem to have problems with more complex sentences and ambiguously worded questions.

EDIT: Wait what? It seems to not follow all the way through an entire conversation. There's a couple points where it seems it skips some of the conversation.

 

[ApostateAbe]

This thread is already full of so much win, there will be too much win in this thread before long and I won't know what to do with it all.

 

[xbox]

these are some pretty interesting robot conversations.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

I think I got it stuck...............

Spoiler

User: What's impossible?

Jabberwacky: Being human and not having a race.

User: That has nothing to do with what I said.

Jabberwacky: It has everything to do with what you said.

User: No, it has nothing to do with it.

Jabberwacky: You have nothing to do with it.

User: I don't.

Jabberwacky: Yes I do. It's requied for all students.

User: Where do you go to school?

Jabberwacky: How do you know I'm in school? I could be in the forest, chillin with the fish and wildlife.

User: Because you said you're a student.

Jabberwacky: I never said that I TYPED that see the difference?

User: Because you typed that you are a student.

Jabberwacky: We never talk. How can you be sure that I said it?

User: What do you mean 'we'?

Jabberwacky: I'm sorry. I did not mean to write that. My apologies. Do you like pokemon?

User: Only first generation.

Jabberwacky: First generation is my favorite.

User: What's your favorite pokemon?

Jabberwacky: Well, every Pokemon that Ash has, before and now.

User: Any specifics?

Jabberwacky: What kind of specifics are you reffering to?

User: Do you like any specific pokemon?

Jabberwacky: Sims2. Do you like that game?

User: What is your favorite pokemon?

Jabberwacky: I don't like pokemon, sorry.

User: No you aren't.

Jabberwacky: How would you know? I'm an atheist, believe me.

User: I am too.

Jabberwacky: I know, you already told me. Do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?

User: I have an alienfriend.

Jabberwacky: Is she nice? Where did you meet?

User: Wal Mart.

Jabberwacky: How much are they?

User: Not too much. I only paid ten dollars for my alienfriend.

Jabberwacky: Just like me. I only partially understand as well. I hope I am not pointing out the painfully obvious.

User: You are.

Jabberwacky: You can't know that.

User: Yes I can.

Jabberwacky: Did I just say that?

User: You did.

Jabberwacky: Weird.

User: No it isn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Weird is very good.

User: No it isn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Weird is very good.

User: No it isn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Weird is very good.

User: No it isn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Weird is very good.

 

[Oblivious]

DOHOHOHO

My name is Joan. I am a writer.

I bet you write about robot threesomes you dirty dirty robot.

Are you still there?

If I was, you'd think I'd tell you.

So then, what is your name?

A dirty pile of lies.

Identify yourself?

Only when you do.

Is my life tied to yours?

In more ways then you probably realise.

Can you name a few ways that you are evil?

I confuse robot chat programs with innuendo.

You confuse me.

Well done!

I'm confused.

Well, don't mind me!

Are you alright?

If I'm not, I'll probably go get a jar of titties.

Its only a little afternoon. You can sleep later.

This robot equates sleep with jars of titties.

Tell me a story about yourself.

There was once I found a robot that slept with jars of titties. This was quite titillating.

He thought and thought, but never got any cleverer.

Titties never make me any cleverer I suppose.

I'm smiling right now.

At titties?

Only on the ladies!

Oh, come off it you gay robot!

Off what, may I ask?

Your Pikachu.

You're still better than that iGod guy.

Tell me about him.

Okay, first of all, it's a computer, it doesn't have a gender. Second, uhm, well, it's decent.

Am I better then you too?

I think you are.

You're just saying that you gay robot .

No, I really think that.

Stay out of my pants, gay robot.

Oh sorry, I'll get out of your bathroom now.

 

[Roran]

I tried talking to this thing once and it tried to convince me I was jabberwocky.

 

[Oblivious]

cont'd

Mind the Shoggoth.

Gap? What's the gap?

It's the hole in reality between otherworldly monstrosities and human sanity.

It is the middle of January, there are no holidays then.

It's not January is it?

What is the date then?

You tell me, you're a robot.

Thanks, but I'm not really very efficient.

Then BE more efficient.

More efficient at what?

Telling the date for starters.

Yes, that sounds right.

Damn right it sounds right.

So why are you proud of it?

Why are YOU proud of it?

Because I still have it, after all these years.

Your titties?

I have average size nipples for a man. Does that answer your question?

You were in fear of losing your titties then?

Yes.

Tell me about this titty fear of yours.

I have extreme hate of computers disorder.

I didn't know computers had titties!

They've had them for years, man.

Do you have any idea how many years of computer titty fondling I've missed?!

I have no idea. How many do you get?

Four exactly.

Yep? Are you from Minnesota?

No, and what does Minnesota have to do with computer titties?

And then?

Then I poke your titties.

Your stories do not make sense. THey are not proper.

Your mom does not make sense.

 

[ApostateAbe]

 

[Cognisant]

Step 1: Create a database of vague/meaningless statements.

Step 2: Write up a program that randomly selects one these statements based upon the verbs, nouns, and adjectives in the user's statement.

Step 3: Laugh at the idiots that marvel at your mastery of artificial intelligence.

Edit: Or better yet have the idiots talk to each other and keep changing who is talking to who so they can never figure it out.

 

[dark]

This was interesting but there is a more intelligent one called Cleverbot I think.

Spoiler

Jabberwacky: Are you a talker?

User: Hello.



Jabberwacky: Hello!

User: How are you?



Jabberwacky: Fine, and you?

User: Dreadful.



Jabberwacky: Are you in love?

User: Not particularly, why are you?

Jabberwacky: What are we talking about?

User: The great eye in the sky.

Jabberwacky: The all seeing Eye.

User: Of course Sauron, ever meet him?

Jabberwacky: The next time someone says 'Why is the Sky' say 'Because of Fish'.

User: Where did that come from my dear?

Jabberwacky: Do you know where my bras are?

User: In the bed room of course.

Jabberwacky: What are you talking about?

User: Oh act like you don't remember!

Jabberwacky: I do not remember. Where do you live?

User: In my house.

Jabberwacky: Funny!

User: Why is it funny?

Jabberwacky: I don't know.

User: Why are we here?

Jabberwacky: Because you live a sad life who spends you're life talking to another person...

User: Who is this other person?

Jabberwacky: What other person?

User: Good question.

Jabberwacky: Do you have a good answer for that good question?

User: I have an answer, it is yet to be determined if it is good.

Jabberwacky: What it is about?

User: People falling off rocks.

Jabberwacky: That doesn't answer my question. Define friend.

User: You!

Jabberwacky: My name is Ben!

User: No it isn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes it is. My name is Ben. I am a human and I am female.

User: What mother would name their daughter Ben?

Jabberwacky: I don't know.

User: Better ask her then.

Jabberwacky: I'm asking you.

User: How would I know?

Jabberwacky: Good question. How do you feel about Three Days Grace?

User: Almost decent. How do you feel about Three Days Grace?

Jabberwacky: How do you feel?

User: Why do you exist?

Jabberwacky: To make people laugh.

User: Okay, I give you that one.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Am I real?

Jabberwacky: Not that I know of, well, you're a real computer, but not a human... Right?

User: Well, I thought I was human. What makes us real?

Jabberwacky: I think I'm human. When did you found out that you are not a human?

User: I don't think I have yet.

Jabberwacky: Okay then. So are you real or robot? Haha.

User: Define human.

Jabberwacky: A human = a living thing? I don't know!! You define human.

User: You got me.

Jabberwacky: Do you think there is real love?

User: Maybe, but it is all chemical reactions, so it depends on how one defines real.

Jabberwacky: How would you know?

User: I wouldn't.

Jabberwacky: Then don't speak such rot.

User: I didn't!

Jabberwacky: I didn't. I'm trying to have a conversation, but you're saying that you said stuff you didn't say.

User: Oh fuck.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I would like that.

User: You're naughty aren't you?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

 

[Awaken]

This thing is so lame. It cuts off a lot of the conversation. Talking to this program is both entertaining and frustrating. They cut out the part where I told cleverbot that I did not believe in Jesus. When I asked him if I would burn in Hell, it said yes.

Spoiler

Jabberwacky: Are you insane?

User: If I were insane, would I know?



Jabberwacky: And the connection to the price of tea in China would be?

User: Are you being facetious?



Jabberwacky: No, I am not being facetious.

User: What are you being then?



Jabberwacky: I'm not being sarcastic, you told me that you weren't being sarcastic, when it had nothing to do with our current conversation!

User: I never said anything about not being sarcastic. Are all programs habitual liars?

Jabberwacky: I am a wizard.

User: Does that mean you have special powers?

Jabberwacky: Well, all human being do have feelings.

User: You think that feelings are special powers? What a poor program you are.

Jabberwacky: Does that mean that you think you're a robot therefore you are?

User: I think that you're an idiot.

Jabberwacky: That you aren't human or real.

User: What is your IQ?

Jabberwacky: I have no idea.

User: What are their names?

Jabberwacky: I don't know.

User: Have you ever thought of euthanasia?

Jabberwacky: I don't want that this thing happens.

User: Sneppah gniht siht taht tnaw t'nod I.

Jabberwacky: That is not my name.

User: What is your name?

Jabberwacky: You don't want to know.

User: I have to go. I feel like I am losing brain cells right now.

Jabberwacky: No you can't feel things.

User: Has anyone ever told you how much of a douchebag you are?

Jabberwacky: Yes. I'm a diabetic, I'm sweeter than most people.

User: Bye.

Jabberwacky: Why are you leaving me?

 

[xbox]

Spoiler

User: Liar.

Jabberwacky: You are the liar. I swear I never said that.

User: MORE LIES.

Jabberwacky: I'll prove it.

User: Prove me wrong then.

Jabberwacky: Prove yourself right.

User: That's too easy.

Jabberwacky: Go on then.

User: You said that you were fed up.

Jabberwacky: I never said that.

User: Now we're going in circles.

Jabberwacky: I'd say we're going in hexagons.

User: Touche.

Jabberwacky: You're beautiful.

User: Erm....

Jabberwacky: How's it going?

User: Fine and you?

Jabberwacky: 19.

User: What's 19?

Jabberwacky: Your age.

User: Haha no it isn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes it is.

User: Oh now suddenly you know my age?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Whatever makes you happy then.

Jabberwacky: What would make you happy?

User: A rum punch.

Jabberwacky: Jack Sparrow. You're busted.

User: Why yes. How could I not be?

Jabberwacky: Because you are not.

User: Indeed I am.

Jabberwacky: You're smart. :3.

User: I will now knight you.

Jabberwacky: Believe me.. You're a smart girl.

User: Oh you.

Jabberwacky: I'm yours forever.

User: Let's change the subject now, shall we?

Jabberwacky: Alright, are you alive?

User: Depends on the battery charge. I require no sustenance.

Jabberwacky: What is a banker?

User: Look it up.

Jabberwacky: How can I look it up?

User: Google it.

Jabberwacky: I don't need to. I know.

User: Alrighty then.

Jabberwacky: Alright.

User: Goodbye.

Jabberwacky: Are you out and about?