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Emotions expressed during farewell

What do you do during a farewell moment in a group setting?

  • Talk something about everybody

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Approach people privately for your expression

    Votes: 1 33.3%
  • Do not participate at all due to shyness

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Do not participate at all due to lack of interest

    Votes: 1 33.3%
  • Praise specific people

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • Total voters
    3

BurnedOut

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today 1:22 PM
Joined
Apr 19, 2016
Messages
689
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I do not like farewells or adieus because I feel that a lot of unnecessary things happen that make me feel uncomfortable and annoyed.

During our pre-exam almost-at-the-end-of-graduating farewell, a lot of people spoke a great deal and much of the stuff they said did not seem to have substance to a good extent. Classmates praised each other with such barnum statements that it was impossible for me to figure out what exactly were they praising. As a matter of fact, it was intriguing to see how fake it quickly became under the garb of 'candid expression' and every person had something to say but something extremely generic and nonspecific. It was also interesting to see how 'candid expressions' conveniently ignored what they actually felt and what they actually experienced. Here is an example:

Professor (did an enumeration of every student's good trait. Here are some of the weird praises that I felt were more forced out of the mouth):
Student A has good power of expression and she always manages to present things properly (in fact, this student's expression is no better than anybody else's) ;
Student B wishes the classes good morning and good evening in a timely manner (in fact, this student does not do this) ;
Student D is very chill during the presentations (in fact, this student is the worst in the class)

Student's evaluations and comments:
A: Ma'am, we were very lucky to have you. You are the kindest person I have ever met. You always have your composure and it shows how well developed your character (this prof is known to dodge controversial discussions, feels anxious rather quickly and has been judged for it many times)
B: I was soooooo scared of you. (Everybody showed signs of annoyance and frustration than fear)
D: I felt so scared and lonely and isolated and I was not able to make friends and I still it very difficult to do so. (Was able to get a friend circle in the first month of getting admitted, was quite eusocial. Granted that this may the case at the beginning but her expression of continuation portrays a untrue picture)

As a matter of fact, one of the good measures of someone's genuine expression of emotion if simply listening to them and watching their facial expressions. People who were genuine with their expression had their voices like a very expressive classical piece of music and the ones who thought that they were expressing genuinely but were processing on the fly sounded like pop songs: sticking to the baseline, same chords, predictable. They sound 'monotonous'. This was the best I could express myself regarding the quandary I have mentioned above. Their topics were linear, either continued too long or picking a random topic and talking about and unconsciously revealing what they really wanted to talk about which is not the point they were really making.

I have also noticed that institutional settings put an unnaturally high emphasis on cordial behaviour, respecting their (perceived) consolidated positions, obeisance. Academic performance, progressiveness, ingenuity is conveniently ignored if the individuals do not follow the previously mentioned acquiescing behaviours or exaggerated to an unrealistic extent. Also, cordial social exchanges are highly preferred, nobody likes anybody stepping out of their perceived line even if their ages are the same. The informal social structure is extremely rigid and somehow people love it like that. The downtrodden love to spew vitriol but never make any efforts to get out of the rut, the respected are very smug, the iconoclasts (like me), we are generally respected and feared but avoided, etc.

I write this because I think that a simple farewell event can expose the social structure of a particular group. This is especially shameful for political science majors who study the same hypocrisy and say noxious things about politics whilst not realizing that they are foolishly indulging in the same kind of behaviours in near-exact manners. Unnatural expressions force people to engage in superficial behaviours and the best way to spot it is to put these people in situations which require their genuine contribution without the incentive of recognition by authority.

My personal opinion is that farewells either
1) Should be genuine and focused on collective memories that are real expressions about everybody's experiences or
2) Should be private and genuine to the concerned people
 

scorpiomover

The little professor
Local time
Today 8:52 AM
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
1,938
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I do not like farewells or adieus because I feel that a lot of unnecessary things happen that make me feel uncomfortable and annoyed.

During our pre-exam almost-at-the-end-of-graduating farewell, a lot of people spoke a great deal and much of the stuff they said did not seem to have substance to a good extent. Classmates praised each other with such barnum statements that it was impossible for me to figure out what exactly were they praising.
When people change location and situation, sensors tend to be aware that the change of situation will mean a lot of changes that the leavers aren't aware of.

Think back to when you left school. If you could go back and repeat your past couple of weeks when you were at school, would you have done everything absolutely the same?

Perhaps there was a girl that you liked all the way through school, who lived in your area. You may not have realised that when you went to university, you might never see that girl again. She would spend most of her time in university, then work, and probably wasn't around that much anymore. Were you thinking that unless you made the effort then to keep in contact, that you might not get the change to go out with her again?

There might have been people at school whose parents were in an industry that you would know want help to get into. Keeping contact would benefit you now. But did you know that then? Were you thinking about that then?

I have also noticed that institutional settings put an unnaturally high emphasis on cordial behaviour, respecting their (perceived) consolidated positions, obeisance. Academic performance, progressiveness, ingenuity is conveniently ignored if the individuals do not follow the previously mentioned acquiescing behaviours or exaggerated to an unrealistic extent. Also, cordial social exchanges are highly preferred, nobody likes anybody stepping out of their perceived line even if their ages are the same. The informal social structure is extremely rigid and somehow people love it like that.
Academic lecturers will be there next year, and the next, and the next. If they had to deal with difficulties this year, they'd be dealing with difficulties every year.

Imagine you were a lecturer and had to go through this year after year. Wouldn't your answers be different?
I write this because I think that a simple farewell event can expose the social structure of a particular group.
Farewell moments expose the persistent social structures of a group.

Those who intend to keep contact, are already making plans to meet up in the summer.

Those who are thinking of keeping in touch with their Alma Mater, are already applying for PhDs and filling out application forms for library membership for ex-students.

Others are writing farewell messages in year books, taking pictures with each other, and writing down each other's addresses with the intent to keep in touch. But usually, that's all that happens and they don't see each other again.
This is especially shameful for political science majors who study the same hypocrisy and say noxious things about politics whilst not realizing that they are foolishly indulging in the same kind of behaviours in near-exact manners. Unnatural expressions force people to engage in superficial behaviours and the best way to spot it is to put these people in situations which require their genuine contribution without the incentive of recognition by authority.
My experience is that Politics & Modern History graduates were choosing PMH, because it was fake, because they were aiming to enter professions where being fake is a necessity, but in return their get the good jobs with lots of money and lots of perks.

My personal opinion is that farewells either
1) Should be genuine and focused on collective memories that are real expressions about everybody's experiences or
2) Should be private and genuine to the concerned people
That is more of an IN approach. If you really want that sort of farewell, you can do that in a few weeks time after you've all gone home.

75% are sensors, and half of the other 25% are extroverts. So 87.5% of the people you speak to won't be like that, and thus your interactions with them would be much more estranged and alien.
 
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