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can memories unfurl

Brontosaurie

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i'm writing song lyric

does an unfurling memory seem like a contrived device or is it natural/tolerable to speak like that?

i need unfurl to make it rhyme. the rhymes. rhymes. i don't need "memory" but it's nice to have there if it works. please tell me o native speakers.
 

GodOfOrder

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If it fits the verse and conveys the message then who cares? I don't think that any meaning would be lost.
 

Brontosaurie

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i care about intelligent people who care. i hate contrived things myself and am very sensitive to them.

here is the line in question:

"jumbled memories are unfurling"

context: childhood trauma
 

Pyropyro

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If by unfurl you mean "to open" then it is plausible to unfurl traumatic memories.

I found an old journal article about repressed memories at http://faculty.washington.edu/eloftus/Articles/lof93.htm

You might want to take a look on the case where the witness, as a child, locked the traumatic memory about a murder. The memories leaked over the years until they were clear enough to be used for a murder trial. Of course, repressed memories themselves are a bit of a controversial subject in their field.
 

Brontosaurie

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If by unfurl you mean "to open" then it is plausible to unfurl traumatic memories.

I found an old journal article about repressed memories at http://faculty.washington.edu/eloftus/Articles/lof93.htm

You might want to take a look on the case where the witness, as a child, locked the traumatic memory about a murder. The memories leaked over the years until they were clear enough to be used for a murder trial. Of course, repressed memories themselves are a bit of a controversial subject in their field.

yes, we are prone to suggestion from the interviewer; actually subconsciously reconstructing or even fabricating memories to conform to expectations. "interesting stuff" in a classical sense.


about the lyric: i was looking for a more spontaneous reaction as opposed to a justification. perhaps charting "consumer" behavior and preferences on an INTP forum isn't a very good idea :D
 

Cherry Cola

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It could also mean that with your present knowledge (or due to some recent event specifically) you see connections between previously jumbled memories so that they fit together in a big picture, and thus unfurl individually by virtue of the clarity granted to them by this context. I think that could happen, and happens. Such an event typically makes more little details of the past pop up so that things grow clearer.
 

SpaceYeti

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If you like it, do it. Thinking about it will lead to overhtinking. Music isn't about thought, it's about dos beats, mon. Lyrics are also usually crucial, but the exact wording isn't.
 

Perfectly Normal Beast

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i hate contrived things myself and am very sensitive to them.

Lyrics are by definition contrived. You must contrive extra hard to make them sound uncontrived.


here is the line in question:

"jumbled memories are unfurling"

context: childhood trauma

Ah, so it's an 'ing' you're looking for - that's much easier than an 'url'.

How about 'surfacing'?

Meh though, nothing wrong with the concept that memories unfurl.

Finished product will be posted here?
 

Brontosaurie

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It could also mean that with your present knowledge (or due to some recent event specifically) you see connections between previously jumbled memories so that they fit together in a big picture, and thus unfurl individually by virtue of the clarity granted to them by this context. I think that could happen, and happens. Such an event typically makes more little details of the past pop up so that things grow clearer.

that's a bit more sequentially complex than what i am going for, but interesting nonetheless.

If you like it, do it. Thinking about it will lead to overhtinking. Music isn't about thought, it's about dos beats, mon. Lyrics are also usually crucial, but the exact wording isn't.

hahaha :D

i guess... now i just have to sing it natural. or maybe i'll have Cherry Cola sing it.

Lyrics are by definition contrived. You must contrive extra hard to make them sound uncontrived.

not sure i agree fully. valid reflection tho.

Ah, so it's an 'ing' you're looking for - that's much easier than an 'url'.

How about 'surfacing'?

Meh though, nothing wrong with the concept that memories unfurl.

Finished product will be posted here?

i appreciate your input. sadly i think the whole "urling" needs to rhyme, with "swirling". gotta love them rhyming clichés!

finished product is pretty much wishful thinking but if it ever becomes reality then it will be posted for sure.
 

Perfectly Normal Beast

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not sure i agree fully. valid reflection tho.

I don't agree fully either (!), occasionally these things spill out in a totally uncontrived way. Unconsciously channeled from the ether.

But if you're foraging for rhymes you must guard against it.

i appreciate your input. sadly i think the whole "urling" needs to rhyme, with "swirling". gotta love them rhyming clichés!

How about 'twirling'? hehe, no.
Oh well - you can always replace 'swirling'.
- that's why these things never get finished.
 

Cavallier

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"urling" or "hurling"?

I like "unfurling" and "swirling" together. They rhyme but have different meanings. They evoke slightly different images. The words "swiriling" and "twirling" have the same basic meaning and same basic feeling to them so they are interchangeable. I like "unfurling" with "hurling" because they rhyme and have distinctly different and yet somehow related images associated with them.
 

Absurdity

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I like the swirling/unfurling idea because of how they contrast one another: swirling is convergent while unfurling is divergent.

Only potential issue I could see would be unequal syllable count.
 

Cherry Cola

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I think you should post the text in its entirety, that would make casting judgement a bit easier :P
 

Brontosaurie

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wow all of your replies are so typically INTP in the best possible sense
 

TimeAsylums

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does an unfurling memory seem like a contrived device or is it natural/tolerable to speak like that?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqFUmo8VVg0

lyrics said:
'Cause I have wandered through this world
As each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams

"jumbled memories are unfurling"
[I like the sound of this^, esp after listening to the song + w/ what @Abs said about unfurling being divergent, it paints a pretty picture]
context: childhood trauma

define unfurl:

make or become spread out from a rolled or folded state, especially in order to be open to the wind.

So, assuming the "repressed"(jumbled) memories are "unfolding"(spreading out), I guess so.





Why necro?

Heard this song on the radio today, lol


Also, I kinda like it...

moar lyrikz said:
Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the PRICE for having learned how not to cry
 

EditorOne

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^ That, the sails. I got a mental image of a sail unfurling and filling with wind, empowerment, movement, changing position, progress. If that fits your intent overall, good image.

"Uncurling" also works. I hope that doesn't give you a worse case of hesitation.:)
 
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