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Birth order

What's your birth order?


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walfin

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So, this supposedly matters very much, especially in relation to success in politics. To the chagrin of those of us who are youngest in the family.

What's your birth order in the family?
 

ProxyAmenRa

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INTJ here. I was last in the birth order. The youngest of siblings.
 

Ink

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Eldest of three brothers. I think it helped shape my personality in a positive way.
 

Etheri

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Eldest of 7 siblings. Lets just say being the eldest had some perks and some disadvantages.
 

Lot

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The middle of three sons. Elder brother is INTJ, younger is ENFP (him having borderline personality makes him a bit hard to type, though).

For more info to help with any claims about birth order and progress:
My older brother was a nerd, most his life. Not very social, but he had his friends and did well with the ladies. Got a chick pregnant at 17, surrendered custody, then went into depression and then meth addict. He is now a good 8 years sober and starting to really get his life together and a series of botched relationships. Avid atheist.

My younger brother. Always a problem child. He'd always look for some way to get into trouble and find adventure. Very social. He had a pregnancy when he was 17. Baby was born ,turned out to be a 0% chance it was his. That wrecked him and he became more of a drug addict, and a raver. Several years later and he's still battling an opiate addiction.

I was the "good son". Always cautious, nerdy. I never did well in school, and I kept to myself, but made friends easily. No pregnancy scare. Kept the same religion as my parents. Only son to complete one semester of full time college. Only son to get AA. My depression hit me at 23. I also deal with addictive behaviors. Dropped out of college.

It seems like parenting might be more of a marker for success. Then again none of my brothers or I have gotten out of our 20's. So it's probably too early to tell.
 

Cybeny

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I'm the oldest out of me and my sister. She's an ESFP and we used to fight so much when we were younger. Now we barely communicate at all. I'm kinda sad about it, but there's only so much I can do.
 

walfin

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The middle of three sons. Elder brother is INTJ, younger is ENFP (him having borderline personality makes him a bit hard to type, though).

For more info to help with any claims about birth order and progress:
My older brother was a nerd, most his life. Not very social, but he had his friends and did well with the ladies. Got a chick pregnant at 17, surrendered custody, then went into depression and then meth addict. He is now a good 8 years sober and starting to really get his life together and a series of botched relationships. Avid atheist.

My younger brother. Always a problem child. He'd always look for some way to get into trouble and find adventure. Very social. He had a pregnancy when he was 17. Baby was born ,turned out to be a 0% chance it was his. That wrecked him and he became more of a drug addict, and a raver. Several years later and he's still battling an opiate addiction.

I was the "good son". Always cautious, nerdy. I never did well in school, and I kept to myself, but made friends easily. No pregnancy scare. Kept the same religion as my parents. Only son to complete one semester of full time college. Only son to get AA. My depression hit me at 23. I also deal with addictive behaviors. Dropped out of college.

It seems like parenting might be more of a marker for success. Then again none of my brothers or I have gotten out of our 20's. So it's probably too early to tell.

Lol, your family fits the stereotypes!

It's funny that the youngest are always supposed to be social. I'm not social at all.
 

Amagi82

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Eldest of three. My brother and sister are twins, three and a half years younger. I was always quiet and nerdy, kept to myself, did well in school without trying, and was stubborn as all hell on things I cared about. My sister is youngest, by 8 minutes, and she got all the athletic ability in the family. My brother... is pretty much my opposite. We had nothing in common, pretty much ever.
 

BigApplePi

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Eldest of two. Sister 4 1/2 years after me. I was jealous as a child but we get along great now. Mom and dad from large families. Dad middle, mom 2nd youngest. They couldn't teach me much ... at least not hands on.

Anyone here know the theory of birth order? I'm familiar.
 

Duxwing

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I'm the eldest of two sons by six years, and I think that it made me like little kids (in before pedophilia joke). They're cute. :)

-Duxwing
 

BigApplePi

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Hey Dux. After a five year difference one is just about old enough to be a like an only child because you can see the younger one as a separate person ... something like that.
 

Duxwing

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Hey Dux. After a five year difference one is just about old enough to be a like an only child because you can see the younger one as a separate person ... something like that.

Indeed, I was an only child for so long that after watching an episode of Dragon Tales, a show wherein a brother and sister adventure with dragons and learn about numbers, letters, and shapes (subjects not nearly as cool as those of Cyber Chase, but I digress), I asked my mom for a little brother. When I got one a few months later, I was elated-- I did have a problem with beating him up during play, though. Apart from that sordid tale, I do see him as a largely separate person; I love him nonetheless, though.

-Duxwing
 

Jennywocky

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Oldest, with an ISFJ sister who is five years younger. In some ways, it felt like being an only child, since she was only going to seventh grade when I graduated. My parents also expected a lot more from me as the oldest in terms of achievement, and I become kind of ultra-responsible in that position.

Family never became close due to my dad's drinking; it basically isolated everyone in the family, and we each just pulled back into ourselves; and eventually we went our separate ways. I wish her fortunate and peace (she seems happy, once she found someone with her religious beliefs to marry), but we don't really talk.
 

BigApplePi

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There is a general theory about birth order + the sex of your siblings, if you have any. There is also much opportunity for research I've not seen done. For example, is the inclination to hetero/homosexuality related at all?
 
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Hadoblado

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Youngest of two. I have an older ESFX half-sister, but she left home when I was eleven, so I'm sort of an only child in that respect.

I got excited by the large number of 'eldests' in the poll, but then realised I was being a twat.
 

The Introvert

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Eldest, 19 (INTJ)
Brother, 17 (E? NTP)
Sister, 15 (IS? F? J)

Typing of my siblings is difficult due to our strange relationships (or lack thereof) and the propensity for members of my family to change attitudes at the drop of a hat and to be generally anti-social.
 

Solitaire U.

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Middle.

Brother, 5 years older.
Sister, 18 months younger.
 

Wolf18

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I'm INTP. My twin brother may be ENTJ. We're actually both older depending on what you call "born" (long story), so I put down eldest on the poll.
My brother and I fight constantly, both physically and mentally/intellectually, even though we're in our late teens. My brother is tall and fast and I'm short (although strong), so he tends to win physical fights. I'm a faster and sharper thinker than my brother, but knows how to get in my head and I therefore often lose arguments, even though I'm usually right. As we get older our fights are becoming more and more mental/intellectual.

In school, we both do pretty good: A's and B's. A rare C. However, I do not have to try hard at all to get good grades. My brother often studies long hours. I can write an A essay in 1.5 hours. He can write an A essay with 5 hours of work. He's actually quite intelligent, particularly in English/History. He just takes a very long time to show it.

Our relationships in 10 years: My skill sets and interests lead me towards cryptologist or detective. Unfortunately,cryptology is a hard field to get into, and even harder to get out of. However, I love codes, so it's definitely on the list. Police detection sounds incredibly by-the-book, so I'd probably be bored by the routine and annoyed by the bureaucracy. Private detection sounds like I'd have more freedom, but the cases would probably be boring. I would need to exercise my intuition and think out of the box for it to interest me, but I enjoy looking into cases on my own time and I am not only learning a lot but it is something I know I enjoy. Sadly, these jobs do not make much money.
For my brother: Stock broker or inventor. My brother has a lot of ideas that he plans out immaculately, and he wants to be rich and powerful. However he is a private person. He wants his own private island, army and fleet of helicopters and cars.
My prediction for the future, if this is how it turns out: My brother is a rich and clever inventor with too much influence. I help him out when he has an issue that involves intuition and quick thinking, and he gives me some money.
I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Does this conform to birth order theory? Not at all. I wonder where we went wrong...
 

BigApplePi

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Order relative to mother or father?
EyeSeeCold said:
Originally Posted by EyeSeeCold
Second of two(mother), and second of three(father).
What matters according to personality formation is your arrangement for your formative years ... which would be age 0 to 5. After that it's just history. The OP is not clear.

In my case although I was older brother to my sister, I had a close buddy four houses away at age 4-5 who was if not dominant, then the leader. That would make me like a younger brother because the rest of the time I was very isolated.
 

BigApplePi

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@Wolf18. My wife is a twin (girls). An ex-girlfriend was a twin (brother). There seems to be some kind of competitive struggle for identity. You have well defined your identity differences and competitiveness. A non-twin would take identity more for granted, but all this is my impression, not because of reading.
 

BigApplePi

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What is the birth order sibling theory? Here is how I would propose it: You know how we discover temperament? Answer: find what is most energizing and check it out with draining. For the INTP, internal thinking and external intuition is energizing. The other two are draining.

Birth order sibling theory? Answer: Your order relation and your sibling's sex (combined) is what you will discover most energizing. Anything else you will find difficult or draining. You will have to stretch yourself to overcome this.

For example if you are male and 2nd of two brothers, you will be familiar with males and get along well with them. Females will be more difficult for you. You will find it easy to relate to more dominant males and won't try to directly compete with them. Check this out with yourself. Check it out with anyone. It's not a hard and fast rule because you could have experienced a mother and father and perhaps other peers when you were age 0-5.
 

walfin

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But that assumes that what you have always been used to is always energizing...
 

BigApplePi

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But that assumes that what you have always been used to is always energizing...
True. It assumes what one is most experienced with is the easiest to do. Doesn't HAVE to be that way though. One could be very experienced at driving a car or packing groceries and it wouldn't be energizing.

There was a woman on one bulletin board I knew, the youngest of five brothers. She hated men and was a strong feminist. She lit into me in a rage when I pointed out an alternative to her viewpoint. She got other feeling women on her side. She had me cowering in a corner in fear. This showed she had a certain skill in relating to men ... by intimidation.
 

Wolf18

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@Wolf18. My wife is a twin (girls).

I was wondering about this some time ago: Assuming that 2 girls or 2 boys have a different relationship or identity that boy-girl twins, In what ways do you think they identify differently?
 

Double_V

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I find it telling that the eldest, only, and youngest either are the majority, or the majority willing to answer the poll.
 

Mysty

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I find it telling that the eldest, only, and youngest either are the majority, or the majority willing to answer the poll.

Well the average family size is 2 children - so of course most are either oldest or youngest!
 

Mysty

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Birth order sibling theory? Answer: Your order relation and your sibling's sex (combined) is what you will discover most energizing. Anything else you will find difficult or draining. You will have to stretch yourself to overcome this.

For example if you are male and 2nd of two brothers, you will be familiar with males and get along well with them. Females will be more difficult for you. You will find it easy to relate to more dominant males and won't try to directly compete with them. Check this out with yourself. Check it out with anyone. It's not a hard and fast rule because you could have experienced a mother and father and perhaps other peers when you were age 0-5.

No, I do not think your theory of siblings equals an energising relationship. I f your sibling is compatible with you, perhaps similar interests or temperament then that may create a strong bond or it could create strong competition or jealousy. Your sibling if weaker may make you more compassionate, you may have learnt how to consider their wants and needs and become caring or you could have learnt to disregard others feeling as your sibling irked you.

I do agree that whatever your sibling combination is it will have influenced how you relate to others. But sometimes this is really negative.

Example of my own: I have a sister 2 years younger and we got on fantastically. Yes, I have always been quite good at making a best female friend, and have always wanted a friend like my sister. But she is quite similar to me in interests, I.e. both N. but I actually don't get on that well or have little in common with the majority of women. If I had not had a sister I think I would have been the same. However I think having shared a bedroom with her for all our childhood and teenage years taught me a lot about the give and take in relationships . I get on really well with men as friends, but this had nothing to do with my family setup.

Example of my husband: he had a younger sister. Never got on with her. Domineered her, made decisions for her, totally disregarded her opinions as he thought she was lacking in intelligence. Always very jealous of his mothers attentions towards his sister. He was only 18 months when she was born and probably not ready to share his mothers affections. He has a tendency to do this to me also. He gets on ok with other women, but I have not been aware of any that could really be considered as a best friend ever. He did not seem to learn the give and take in relationships by having a sister, and yet other men will say that having a sister did this for them.

I had always thought only children had a disadvantage until I had my second child and realised what some of the negatives of having a sibling could be. A bad sibling relationship can negatively influence your whole life sometimes. Some of the most caring and understanding men I have known were only children. Also some of the most selfish were only children. Perhaps they were naturally friendly or their parents allowed them lots of friends? The selfish ones were maybe naturally selfish and not allowed enough interaction with peers to learn the skills of considering others?

I think temperament is the dictator of whether the sibling relationship is a positive or negative influence in your life.
 

MichiganJFrog

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Alfred Adler was a major force in promulgating the theory of birth order as an influence on personality. I think he was the one who said youngest children were lazy and spoiled. As the youngest of three, I can vouch for that.
 

Double_V

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Well the average family size is 2 children - so of course most are either oldest or youngest!

Now days, yes. Back when I was born almost every family had 3 or more. Four, five, and six was quite common, even 10 and 11 was still common enough (so in their 40's now). When I grew up "an only" was a very rare thing, considered an oddity.

I purposely had more than two children because so many of the families I'd known had lost one. I didn't want to saddle someone with (suddenly) being an only. It's quite lonely.

Of course, there is no guarantee siblings will like each other.
 

Cavallier

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Only. But I was raised by parents who had up until they had me been raising their siblings. So, no other children in my family but I had parents knew what they were doing by the time I came along.
 

Emelina

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You're probably right about its importance in politics. Here's something I've analyzed in my own family.

Older brother, INTJ: He was told he was a genius boy and so much better than anyone else, all the time, and he was given a lot of attention and time. Less money than me, so he doesn't consider that it was like that, but it was. He's pretty arrogant.
Second brother, INTJ as well. He was given about half as much attention, so he struggled like crazy to be like older brother, because clearly that guy was doing something right! Result: Some degree of insecurity.
Third child (me), INTP. Almost no time or attention, because really, if the other two turned out alright then I probably would, too. Result: Screw them, I'm the black sheep, but also lacking a great deal of confidence. I prefer not to be the leader in things.

I'm much more sociable than my brothers, which is actually really sad because I'm pretty much a hermit. I'm 21, my brothers are 27 and 30 respectively and I'd bet my left foot that they're still virgins.

So there you have it, perhaps it's only like that for me, or MAYBE this varying degree in compliments and attention is more common, and results in differences in confidence. Confidence and ruthlessness, I believe, are key traits in presidents and other such great leaders. I only have the latter :P

Alfred Adler was a major force in promulgating the theory of birth order as an influence on personality. I think he was the one who said youngest children were lazy and spoiled. As the youngest of three, I can vouch for that.

I can vouch for that too.
 

Mysty

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Now days, yes. Back when I was born almost every family had 3 or more. Four, five, and six was quite common, even 10 and 11 was still common enough (so in their 40's now). When I grew up "an only" was a very rare thing, considered an oddity.

I purposely had more than two children because so many of the families I'd known had lost one. I didn't want to saddle someone with (suddenly) being an only. It's quite lonely.

Of course, there is no guarantee siblings will like each other.

WOW to it being reasonably common for 10 children 40 odd years ago where you come from! Two children were the norm then where I come from. Families of that size were common for Catholics for people aged in their 70's here. But even then only children were not apparently an oddity according to my mother who was one of seven.
 

Kdosi

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Elder sibling.
My 3 years younger brother is an INFP.

Due to a my mother´s car accident and subsequent hospitalisation I had to play "mother" from the age of 11 to about 16. I still hope I didn´t screw it up completely.
 

Smooch

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Birth Order's interesting, but it gets a lot more complicated than just saying "I'm the youngest/oldest". What if step siblings came into the picture at some point, or you lost a sibling early, or there's a huge age gap, or you just have a unique living situation?

My parents divorced when I was very young, and I was my father's only child and my mother's third child, and they had split custody of me. So where does that put me? I suppose you could say I draw from both Only/Third child tendencies.

I really don't know my brothers well enough to type them.
 
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