*locks you in a steel trap cage*
Congratulations, Crip! By making this thread you have now been awarded the new ruler of the fairy kingdom.
Now for today's royal agenda we're going to fit you with a new crown and let you share your body with all the other fairies. It's standard practice to meet every citizen of your kingdom on an intimate level. Be sure to wear the royal sloppy seconds dress-wear made especially for this joyous event! And if a man appears with a cane and flashy clothing, then be sure to say hello to your newly appointed king.
Live long and prosper!
Best wishes in your new life,