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Old 19th-June-2012, 08:28 PM   #1
Proletar
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Default Problem remembering names?

I don't know if this is something universal to INTPs or if it's just me, but I have serious trouble remembering names.


Always been bad at it, because names don't make sense. They are given to you at your birth or before it, and you've got nothing to show for having it. I deal with it by just simply never using names. I rarely speak about other people, just say "you" when adressing someone, and get close to someone and poke their shoulder instead of shouting across the room when at a party.

Am I the only one?
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Old 19th-June-2012, 08:48 PM   #2
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I have trouble with names as well (Though I remember faces quiet well)

Here's a trick: If you know someone but forgot their name, just ask "What was your name again?" try to sound sincere. If they look offended, follow u with "No, I meant your last name"

Thus gaining both names and you don't seem like an asshole.
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Old 19th-June-2012, 08:55 PM   #3
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

If I had my way everyone on the world would walk around wearing one of those "H! My Name Is" stickers.
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Old 19th-June-2012, 09:40 PM   #4
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Quote:
Originally Posted by shrub77 View Post
I have trouble with names as well (Though I remember faces quiet well)

Here's a trick: If you know someone but forgot their name, just ask "What was your name again?" try to sound sincere. If they look offended, follow u with "No, I meant your last name"

Thus gaining both names and you don't seem like an asshole.
Oh that's a good one.

I'm good at faces too. The name is probably the last thing a learn about someone.

"She has two dogs, one golden retriever and one husky. She's been at this job for two years and coloured her hair last time about two weeks ago, when she also switched perfume. She enjoys horror-movies and broke up with her boyfriend six months ago, because of an argument regarding manors and politeness, and his lack of it. And she always uses gestures way too much when excited over something... Bella? Lucy?"
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Old 19th-June-2012, 09:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

YES!
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Old 19th-June-2012, 11:56 PM   #6
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Yea I don't focus on names too much in conversation and in getting to know someone, the reason why I might forget a name. But generally it isn't something that happens often.

In conversations, I also use "you" a lot, and tend to speak in one-on-ones so there really is never a need to address someone with a name. I don't like a false sense of familiarity with people, so that kinda affects my tendency to not use first names too. In highschool my circle actually had a thing going were we called people by their last names.
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Old 19th-June-2012, 11:57 PM   #7
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Names, faces, preferences, people in general.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 12:50 AM   #8
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

It depends... If I know that I've an agenda, I'll remember the exact time he took a shit 2 years ago, but if not I won't even remember his name or whatever else there is about him/her. So yea, mostly I do forget everything.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 05:01 AM   #9
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I usually remember odd and random facts instead of things like dates, names, etc.
Names in particular are difficult, but I don't see them as not making sense. I just forget them and then am usually too embarrassed to ask again. Some of the people I talk to at least once a week have names unknown to me.
I also come across people who know my name and talk to me as if we're friends, but I don't even know who they are. I just go along with it.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 08:05 AM   #10
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I've realized that facebook helps a lot with this. Just seeing the names occasionally pop up in my feed is enough for me to remember in most cases. Of course, this only applies to people I'm already somewhat acquainted with.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 08:42 AM   #11
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I don't remember names if they are presented acoustically, but like Dapper Dan, I find it easy to remember names if I read them on facebook.

For me the awkward moment comes when I've already used the 'sincerely asking for name' card, and have forgotten yet again. Often I just make up a name for them and pretend it's a joke.

I do wonder if personality type has anything to do with the effectiveness of encoded information. Depending on the type of information, I can see potential arguments for all of the dichotomy types encoding information differently. In particular, memory and emotion are related at a neurological level, which implies a possible relationship between F types and particular types of memory.

More on topic, I find it impossible to passively acquire knowledge that is difficult to elaborate on. This is a well documented mnemonic phenomenon (elaborative vs maintenance rehearsal for instance), but I believe myself to rely heavier on elaboration than most people, and I wonder whether it has anything to do with how high on the intuition scale I am. Anything that does not fit into a pre-existing conceptual framework is almost certainly forgotten, or not even encoded to begin with. This is particularly true for seemingly arbitrary information such as names of people and places, acronyms, times, dates, and sometimes even my own location.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 11:21 AM   #12
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

When you meet the person say, "nice to meet you ______."

Saying the name out loud after hearing it for the first time should help you remember it.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 01:02 PM   #13
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Say the name three times if you have to while talking to him. It really helps.

I also have trouble remembering book titles.
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Old 20th-June-2012, 04:06 PM   #14
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I have trouble with names, sometimes calling people by the wrong one. I kept calling an acquaintance of mine Heather when her name was Jennifer (or was it vice versa? I don't know). To this day, I catch myself calling another lady Sue when her name is Cho. She's Vietnamese. Why do I keep calling her Sue? Three letters, maybe, I don't know. You'd think I'd be more sensitive to names since half the people out there fuck up mine.
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Old 21st-June-2012, 04:13 AM   #15
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I am terrible with names. I'll remember people's ideas, but not their names. It's unfortunate.

I work at it though, because to most other people, it matters.
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Old 30th-April-2017, 04:39 PM   #16
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Sorry for bumping an ancient thread, but this is getting ridicilous. I recently studied in the US and I of course couldn't handle all the new names I had to learn. I managed this particular situation atleast twice: Embarrisingly not remembering a name I should upon which I ask them to repeat it while promising not to forget it again upon which they replied: "that's what you said the last time too!!"..

Now of course I have stopped promising people to remember their names at parties.

Yesterday I went to a reunion type event and I had, to be expected, forgotten quite a few names. This girl sitting at my table, I spent hours trying to remember her name, and when I finally remembered her name I started using it only to have the rest of the table correct me as she left her table. When she came back and I apologised, she told me that I had always used that name for her and that she just got used to it. Not only that, I had used it so consistently that other people had started calling her that.

It's an annoying flaw because people confuse me not remembering their name with me not remembering them.
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Old 17th-July-2017, 10:29 AM   #17
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

OMG yes, I mostly remember visual stuff like hair color and hair length
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Old 17th-July-2017, 12:23 PM   #18
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I usually don't hear what name people introduce themselves with in the first place, mostly because concentrating on handshake, eye contact, saying hi and stuff etc takes all my concentration so I can't hear what they say in those few seconds. I do feel that I could be able to remember if I tried harder to concentrate, but I've been wrong on such things before so idk

I'm also somewhat face blind, I recognize people based on body language, hair, and the "feeling of their personality"/ state of mind or so. Combined with knowing the context they appear in, it's not a problem for me per se, I can usually tell who I'm talking to.
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Old 17th-July-2017, 01:00 PM   #19
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Perhaps my mind would bother to retain or recall names, if i ever daydreamed about initiating conversation/relationship with people. But most people are out of sight, out of mind.
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Old 17th-July-2017, 01:27 PM   #20
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

I sat next to someone everyday in ninth grade and thought her name was Lindsey for two months
It wasn't
We were friends though
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Old 17th-July-2017, 03:18 PM   #21
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minuend View Post
I usually don't hear what name people introduce themselves with in the first place, mostly because concentrating on handshake, eye contact, saying hi and stuff etc takes all my concentration so I can't hear what they say in those few seconds. I do feel that I could be able to remember if I tried harder to concentrate, but I've been wrong on such things before so idk

I'm also somewhat face blind, I recognize people based on body language, hair, and the "feeling of their personality"/ state of mind or so. Combined with knowing the context they appear in, it's not a problem for me per se, I can usually tell who I'm talking to.
OMG YES!!!

So I'm not the only one...

I'm so used to and adept at saying to people that I forgot their name at this point that it isn't really awkward anymore.
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Old 17th-July-2017, 06:23 PM   #22
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minuend View Post
I usually don't hear what name people introduce themselves with in the first place, mostly because concentrating on handshake, eye contact, saying hi and stuff etc takes all my concentration so I can't hear what they say in those few seconds. I do feel that I could be able to remember if I tried harder to concentrate, but I've been wrong on such things before so idk

I'm also somewhat face blind, I recognize people based on body language, hair, and the "feeling of their personality"/ state of mind or so. Combined with knowing the context they appear in, it's not a problem for me per se, I can usually tell who I'm talking to.
Yeah, I can relate to that although faces usually stick with me in terms of recognition -- like, I can tell immediately if I have NOT met someone before, but if you ask me to describe the specific face of someone I just met, I probably cannot do it because I don't think in terms of detail. I tend to think of people in terms of look/feel/vibe as well as "anchoring/spatial relationship" between the details.

Usually with remembering names -- something that is really helpful to me is to re-ask what their name was at the END of the conversation, because now my brain has a conversation to which to attach the name. I have a much better recall rate when I do that (and if I quick-think of a way to tie the names into a few facts in my head), versus if I only hear it once before the chat starts. Plus, it is socially acceptable at the end of a meeting to ask someone's name again -- it signifies interest in the conversation and the person.

When I was younger, my mind used to recall names all the time because I think my brain was younger and just worked better, everything would stick to it like glue (even pointless crap); now I'm just really frustrated at the natural decline. I can easily forget names of people I know momentarily, it's really frustrating. Or I can be discussing an actor's name in a movie I'm watching, and then suddenly the name is just GONE... and I will need ten minutes before I can find it again, it just kind of appears again. I watched Arrival yesterday again, and for the life of me I suddenly could not remember Forrest Whittaker's name, although I could tell you a bunch of movies he is in; I could remember Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner but just stared at him, frustrated at my sudden lack of recall. Then I got these weird vibes of Forrest Gump, and then realized, "Oh yes, Forrest Whittaker."

Man, I hope my brain is not swiss-cheesing out and I'll be empty by 70.
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Old 17th-July-2017, 06:31 PM   #23
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Default Re: Problem remembering names?

Yeah. I can't remember names but remember faces but usually without too many detail, it depends... Interestingly my hearing is really good yet I do not seem to hear names for the first time...
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