You hate your job? Tell me why. Tell me how much. How deeply.

[AlisaD]

I'll start:

Nothing ever happens here. Or at least I never notice when something does. Most of the time I sit quietly at my desk, pretending to be working, waiting for the time to pass.

Sometimes I run a little slide-show of the men I slept with in my head, to try and get the time to move a bit more quickly, it helps for a little while, not for long. I guess I should sleep with more people if I'm planing to continue working here.

People come to my desk, they talk, they complain, they praise my work, they tell me the company might be going under and we all might lose our jobs. I look at them, eyes full of understanding, I nod my head, smile a little condescending smile and keep looking trough the gallery of cocks in my head.

I don't care if this place goes under, I don't care if I'm going to lose this job, but I can't really say that I don't care about the fact that we are being audited.

It brings a breath of fresh air to the office. I enjoy seeing my boss' sweat, forming slowly on his top lip every time he gets a call from the law society. I relish the subtle traces of terror in our Director Solicitor's voice as she asks about double-triple billing clients. I enjoy our little game, where she acts surprised about the whole thing, and I shrug my shoulders and smile helplessly as I say: "It's always been done that way" I make a whole show of pretending to think she didn't know about it. We rehearse this little play every couple of days since the auditors started calling, and each time I wonder does she believe they've set up hidden cameras all over the office so she sees this as a live performance, or is she just rehearsing for the time when this thing gets to court.

It's all great fun, but when I take a step back, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable watching them worry and squeal and suffer like that, and not feeling even a trace of compassion, being only slightly amused by the whole thing. It makes me feel like a bit of a sociopath, cool and calm and slightly amused when faced other people's misery. I didn't used to be like that, seeing homeless people, and lost kittens and sad old people used to make me cry before I started working here.

Now, I'm as cold and hard as a rock, I guess it makes me a great business analyst, but I don't think it was worth it.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

People come to my desk, they talk, they complain, they praise my work, they tell me the company might be going under and we all might lose our jobs. I look at them, eyes full of understanding, I nod my head, smile a little condescending smile and keep looking trough the gallery of cocks in my head.

Shit, my x girl friend says the same thing; with emphasis about the cocks. It does get annoying when she calls me to allude about the comparisons with my own and others'.

Yeah, working is annoying.

 

[ckm]

That was a very enjoyable read, it must be said.

Sometimes I work at my mother's shop, which involves plastering a smile on my face and holding it there, social niceties, awkward silences while the credit card machine thing takes its time transacting, desperately trying to look busy and reminding myself just how much money I owe my mother.

Other times I organise files for an acupuncturist, which involves excruciating claustrophobia, a filing cabinet that's too small to stand up straight in front of and too short to kneel in front of, the sensation of every sweat pore in my body opening at the same time, the "FFFUUU" feeling when a file goes missing and constantly going through the alphabet in my head.

 

[Beat Mango]

I'm less interested in the sharing of workplace experiences than I am with the cocks. No, really, I am. How does an INTP get laid anyway?

 

[AlisaD]

That was a very enjoyable read, it must be said.

Sometimes I work at my mother's shop, which involves plastering a smile on my face and holding it there, social niceties, awkward silences while the credit card machine thing takes its time transacting, desperately trying to look busy and reminding myself just how much money I owe my mother.

Other times I organise files for an acupuncturist, which involves excruciating claustrophobia, a filing cabinet that's too small to stand up straight in front of and too short to kneel in front of, the sensation of every sweat pore in my body opening at the same time, the "FFFUUU" feeling when a file goes missing and constantly going through the alphabet in my head.

Great stuff. I like the way you write, I can actually feel the genuine disgust there, thank you for sharing.

I'm less interested in the sharing of workplace experiences than I am with the cocks. No, really, I am. How does an INTP get laid anyway?

I'm a girl. I'm not ugly. All I need to do is smile. Gender roles rock

 

[Cavallier]

@Beat Mango: It's not as hard as people make it seem. But in turn sex isn't as great as people make it seem either.

I just have fantasies involving murdering my bosses. But, I have to admit I get more enjoyment out of coming up with creative ways of doing it rather than the actual death itself. It's sort of a byproduct. That's how I describe my bosses as well. They are a byproduct of a system that they in turn dutifully maintain.

I needed the money about a year ago and a full-time position fell into my lap so I didn't fight it. I did it for a year and then when the opportunity arose for me to transfer to part-time again I dumped the extra hours. Recently a managerial position has come available but everybody qualified to apply for it, myself included, all turned it down. In a store of 50 people not a single person wanted the position.

I was never so unhappy as when I was working full-time at that place. Now I can survive on part-time. It's great because I can live off the money I earn comfortably enough AND spend the majority of my time doing things I actually want to do. Now my family wants to know why I went back to part-time. They think I must have been demoted because, "why would anybody turn down that sort of opportunity?" Oh, you mean the opportunity covered in shit? Nope. I'm good without it thanks.

 

[Cognisant]

I work for Officeworks and I sell stationary, hardly glamorous but it's a decent job with decent pay considering what I do, and my managers aren’t dicks about it, I'm supposed to tuck my shirt in but I don't, I'm not supposed to chew gum but I do, then again considering my department's the most successful one in the country, I can get away with it

Company policy is retarded, I don't tuck my shirt in because I'm constantly bending over or reaching up, I chew gum (subtly) because it keeps the saliva flowing and the endorphins mean I'm more sociable, and I have a complete disregard for set priorities because I think having stock on the shelves and presentable is more important than socialising with time wasters who want to know the difference between different coloured staplers.

Middle management just annoys me, there's executives at the top who make important discissions, people at the bottom like me who make sure stuff gets done, and then there's the out of touch middle management who don't work in the store but think they know better anyway.

And yes I sell duct tape

 

[AlisaD]

I just have fantasies involving murdering my bosses.

AAAAAAAAh, violent fantasies - I had those earlier, before I bacame this apathetic - I miss those days so much.

I needed the money about a year ago and a full-time position fell into my lap so I didn't fight it. I did it for a year and then when the opportunity arose for me to transfer to part-time again I dumped the extra hours.

Spoken like a true warrior in the endless struggle against the wretched capitalist mindset

Company policy is retarded

All company policies are retarded. It's a rule, it's the first requirement in the have you created an acceptable company policy check-list -

1. Is your policy retarded?

• Yes -> Please proceed to question 2
• No -> Please start again

Middle management just annoys me

All levels of management just annoy me.

And yes I sell duct tape

Judging from your avatar the job is starting to get to you, maybe you should consider a change, even if it would mean, oh no, tucking in your shirt

 

[Lostwitheal]

I remember seeing a little cartoon somewhere some time ago. It was a drawing of a beggar and the text read:

"Why am I doing a job I hate to earn money I don't need to buy things I don't want to impress people I don't even like?"

I quite liked that.

I've also found that the utter banality of my job has been getting to me recently. I've been here for about 5 years and through no fault of my own have ended up managing my team. I have no interest in management. I can't stand all the fluffy bullshit, sycophantic games and insincere pleasantries that it entails. For the most part the people I manage don't even need managing - they come in, do their work well, and go home: what's to manage? And appraisals, performance reviews, KPIs, ugh. Excuse me while I vomit.

My actual job wasn't too bad to start with. It's a technical role and since I started with naff all experience I actually had to think a bit in order to solve the problems I came up against. Now I can do a perfectly acceptable job with about 25% effort. There's no challenge here. I also have to listen patiently as users complain endlessly about one thing or another, or keep smiling as I have to explain the intricacies of an on/off switch for the umpteenth time. Honestly I wonder how half the people here manage to operate a television sometimes.

Of course this means I'm slightly torn. I may hate it but fundamentally it's ridiculously easy money. But then, is that worth me being bored out of my skull and irritated for 8 hours a day? I don't know. Ride the gravy train or find something that'll actually challenge and stimulate me? Unfortunately it's a crap time to try looking for a new job...

Good topic, thank you.

 

[Yasmin]

I would suggest that my job has a fundamental problem deeper than others mentioned here: I don't get paid. Ever. I'm subjected to mind blowing boredom, repetitive tasks, and incredibly condescending superiors. I am forced to memorize irrelevant facts of sometimes questionable accuracy, for seven hours a day. Eight if you factor in homework. With no pay.

My coping skills include tiny spherical magnets (in which I sometimes shape into grenades or the heads of animals without bodies). See buckyballs.


I should also mention that I really do not like children. They are loud, and obnoxious, and generally unwilling to carry on intelligent conversations. I spend most of the day with them.

Compulsory education is a bitch.

 

[Minuend]

Work work. It's usually not the work itself that decide whether I dislike it or not. If it's repetitive, I just enter Dreamland and time moves along quickly. I read something interesting the day before and I've got entertaining the whole next day.

Irritating colleagues. Self control is something to be trained. When my energy is normal or high, I'm able to shrug it off quite easily. I'm very rarely annoyed then.

My dread towards work is rather the fact that it is a reminder of what I am. In the end, I'm the one to blame for my situation. The work didn't choose me, I chose it.

Oh, this wasn't a very good hate post.

 

[Crazythinker1]

You know, when I made the decision to start my own company, I thought that would be the end of having to put up with stupid managers and completly idiotic company policys.

Yeah, right.

For the first year it was actualy kind of fun, the challange and the stimulation of making a company profitable. But then the bullshit started to get to me, the utterly riddiculus tax code, the amazing amount of crap paperwork one must do to even stay in buisness, and the clients. Holy fuck me are some of these people STUPID. Honestly, I can't figure out how some of these fools even got out grade school much less high school and college. FUCK.

Anyway, great thread. I needed a place to vent.

P.S Are there any good jobs for INTPs that won't drive us batty?

 

[AlisaD]

I remember seeing a little cartoon somewhere some time ago. It was a drawing of a beggar and the text read:

"Why am I doing a job I hate to earn money I don't need to buy things I don't want to impress people I don't even like?"

I quite liked that.

I quite like that as well. The only thing is, I need food, and I need to travel - both cost money. Life sucks.

through no fault of my own have ended up managing my team. I have no interest in management. I can't stand all the fluffy bullshit, sycophantic games and insincere pleasantries that it entails. For the most part the people I manage don't even need managing - they come in, do their work well, and go home: what's to manage? And appraisals, performance reviews, KPIs, ugh. Excuse me while I vomit.

Happens to me every time I start a new job. No matter how low profile, dead end it seems, my utter disinterest in the job always seems to be misinterpreted as confidence or competence, so no matter how little I try, I always end up in a managerial position.
I try to hold on for as much as I can, but sooner or later I quit, spend a few marvellous months scattering my savings away and then when I reach the point of near starvation find another dead end job. And the vicious circle continues.
It's quite unnerving.

I would suggest that my job has a fundamental problem deeper than others mentioned here: I don't get paid. Ever. I'm subjected to mind blowing boredom, repetitive tasks, and incredibly condescending superiors. I am forced to memorize irrelevant facts of sometimes questionable accuracy, for seven hours a day. Eight if you factor in homework. With no pay.

My coping skills include tiny spherical magnets (in which I sometimes shape into grenades or the heads of animals without bodies). See buckyballs.


I should also mention that I really do not like children. They are loud, and obnoxious, and generally unwilling to carry on intelligent conversations. I spend most of the day with them.

Compulsory education is a bitch.

Oh dear lord, you poor, poor child. The only thing I can say to make you feel better is that it only lasts for a few years. And don't let those people who say high-school was the best time in their lives get to you - being employed is hell - but at least after you get out of the office you don't have to think about where to get the money to get drunk and forget all about it.

My dread towards work is rather the fact that it is a reminder of what I am. In the end, I'm the one to blame for my situation. The work didn't choose me, I chose it.

Oh, this wasn't a very good hate post.

You may not be doing too well in the hating department, but you are horribly right. It makes me kind of resent myself. And I don't like not liking myself.
I demand to have the crying emotication back in the sidebar.

P.S Are there any good jobs for INTPs that won't drive us batty?

Nope.
My current job is pretty perfect really. I have flexible hours, a completely informal atmosphere, hardly any supervision, by a supervisor who doesn't know anything about the numbers I'm feeding him or the processes I'm modelling, so is happy with whatever I come up with, after years of taking care of team, I finally don't have the responsibility for anyone but myself, I get to fiddle around with numbers, which is mildly amusing, even some of my colleagues are actually interesting.
But the fact that I have to spend 35 hours a week at the same place? Week after week? It's inhumane. I get bored by sleeping in the same bed for more than a few weeks.
I don't think I am capable of finding a job I don't despise. There are different circles in the hell of being employed, but in the end, it does come down to your soul slowly devoured by the inhumanity of it all.

 

[Cavallier]

Other times I organise files for an acupuncturist, which involves excruciating claustrophobia, a filing cabinet that's too small to stand up straight in front of and too short to kneel in front of, the sensation of every sweat pore in my body opening at the same time, the "FFFUUU" feeling when a file goes missing and constantly going through the alphabet in my head.

That sounds utterly horrible.

AAAAAAAAh, violent fantasies - I had those earlier, before I became this apathetic - I miss those days so much.

Somehow they always end with fire...

Spoken like a true warrior in the endless struggle against the wretched capitalist mindset

Oh, the tucking in of shirts. It's my theory that they want to replicate elementary school. I untucked those damned uniform shirts back then as well. What is with this world and its need for tucked in shirts? Damn J's.

 

[AlisaD]

Oh, the tucking in of shirts. It's my theory that they want to replicate elementary school. I untucked those damned uniform shirts back then as well. What is with this world and its need for tucked in shirts? Damn J's.

Heh, I always thought it was rather like bad parenting. I didn't really get lot of that when I was a kid, but I remember going out on a school night once and my mother saying:
"Don't come home too late"
I asked: "Why"
She replied: "...well... because"
I was so amazed/amused by this that I actually didn't argue.

This situation comes to my mind every time a superior asks me to do something utterly stupid for no apparent reason, so I usually just shrug my shoulders and go ahead and do it, I figure they feel the need to confirm the importance of their role, and who am I to wreck their fantasies by pointing out something insignificant as the absurdity of the request

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

I work in an Applebee's, 25 minutes south of Chicago in a suburban area filled with.....*ugh* I'm still a student, so I don't have too many options and need money to fund my random adventures around the planet, or for food when I sit at home all day and daydream.

I have it horrible. I'm obviously not a people person but I'm forced to become one 4-5 days every week. On top of that...Well just as an experiment for those who have never worked in restaurant frequented by people of a low educational background, imagine yourself or actually go yourself and observe for one day, in this sort of environment. It's hell.


Common phrases, quoted:
"There's a spot in this lemon (A commonly ordered beverage is a water with a slice or slices of lemon. Cheap bastards actually attempt to make lemonade at times. I've seen this.), so I need a fresh one cut."

"Nmm mm iss somn' in nat water." (An ice cube.)

"I saw a spider in that corner. I think I should get a discount on nis'."


Customer after entree is first delivered to table: "I don't like this. I didn't mean to order this."

Me: "Sir/Ma'am, you directly pointed to this meal and verbally confirmed it's what you wanted."

Customer: "But I didn't know it had all lat' on it."

Me: Oh. (Now visualizing myself falling from a 20+ story building.)

And one of the things I've come to loathe more than the idea of eternal suffering: When I'm directly taking an order from a customer and I ask them what for, they'll quickly point at a picture in the menu without looking, verbalizing, signaling any kind of agreeing gesture towards me, and then quickly look away...as if somehow I'm bothering them by taking their order. If I had kyuubi chakra, it would leak, no, pour out right about then, and I would proceed to destroy the surrounding area while roaring furiously.


One day I daydreamed that I was taken hostage by a group of extremists/terrorists and put on a plane loaded with bombs. The leader of the group walked up to me, held in bondage, and told me he would let me go, but first, "You have to pick one of your American cities...and we will bomb that place!" (Did evil laugh and grin) ...But everyone on the plane was surprised when it took me all of 3 seconds to find Matteson, IL on a map and say... "Bombs away."
I smiled and was happy the rest of that day at work.

 

[Keary]

I work at IGA (an Australian supermarket) as a cashier.

It's monotonous, dull and lacking in any interest I have. Constantly scanning and packing peoples food gets repetitive quickly with every beep of the scanner feeling like it's digging a nail into the back of my head. The majority of the customers at that shop are either white trash (and the equivalent with other ethnicities), everyday assholes, dick head youth or those happy go lucky sorts. My fellow employees aren't much better; they are often similar to the customers but there are also retards that work as cashiers as well (yes that may make me an asshole for calling them that and insult myself in that "special" people can do the same work as me, if not better).

Now lets go higher, the boss and his underlings aren't much better. The manager at the store is an egotistical wanker with his head shoved that far up his ass if he had a second head he would be able to see out of it. The underlings that work for his (deputy managers and department managers) are just a bunch of kiss asses that laugh at all his jokes in hope of being able to latch on to his man boobs and suckle a promotion out of him. While I assume most of them are stupid enough to find him bearable there are some that put on a fake smile and pretend to be his friend or "mate" (an Australian term I despise). Yes I to also put on a fake smile towards his laughs but that's only to stop getting fired or lectured on manners or other rot, unlike the fakers I keep it solely at that and refuse to spend more time near him than I did.

All of a sudden I lost the fuel that kept me typing, good day to you all.

P.S. I'm a socially incompetent, socially anxious misanthrope that forced myself to become an outcast (and I'm proud of it).

 

[cheese]

Keary, which bit of australia, which suburb, which exact outlet?

 

[Oblivious]

cheese: Indulging in your stalking habits I see.

 

[cheese]

Since when is grocery shopping a crime? ccb.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

cheese buyin' da cheese and stalking the misanthropes....I got nuthin'.

On topic (or not): I actually kinda sorta like my job even though it involves meeting people sometimes. Many have turned out to be rather interesting. I also cook food. Not bad, not bad at all.

 

[AlisaD]

On topic (or not): I actually kinda sorta like my job even though it involves meeting people sometimes. Many have turned out to be rather interesting. I also cook food. Not bad, not bad at all.

I always suspected you weren't quite human, and now it's confirmed beyond any doubt.

Tell me, which planet did you come from, and, more importantly, did you bring the technology that makes you like your job with you?

 

[Lostwitheal]

This situation comes to my mind every time a superior asks me to do something utterly stupid for no apparent reason, so I usually just shrug my shoulders and go ahead and do it, I figure they feel the need to confirm the importance of their role, and who am I to wreck their fantasies by pointing out something insignificant as the absurdity of the request

I actually did this a couple of weeks ago as I was feeling belligerent. I backed down after a little while though as I watched him deflate a little and I quickly lost interest in the conversation.

 

[AlisaD]

I actually did this a couple of weeks ago as I was feeling belligerent. I backed down after a little while though as I watched him deflate a little and I quickly lost interest in the conversation.

Hehe, I tried something similar a few months ago, I was kind of bored and decided to have another shot at making an enemy (never really knew how you go about doing that)

So when asked to do something utterly ridiculous, I replied with a short email stating only:

"No. That's stupid"

I expected outrage. Or something.

Unfortunately, the person that got the email apologized to me for having such a dumb idea, and has been extra nice to me ever since.

It seems it's utterly impossible to have any fun at work.

 

[Cavallier]

Hehe, I tried something similar a few months ago, I was kind of bored and decided to have another shot at making an enemy (never really knew how you go about doing that)

So when asked to do something utterly ridiculous, I replied with a short email stating only:

"No. That's stupid"

I expected outrage. Or something.

Unfortunately, the person that got the email apologized to me for having such a dumb idea, and has been extra nice to me ever since.

It seems it's utterly impossible to have any fun at work.

Hmmm...I think the problem is you phrased it wrong. You should have said, "No. You're stupid for telling me to do this task." According to my experience things may have proceeded differently. The person probably knew it was stupid before telling you to do it. Your saying the task was stupid just validated what they already felt about the task. They in turned soothed your feathers (since they probably thought you were offended that they asked you to do something so obviously stupid) by apologizing. Anyway, call them stupid and you have suddenly attacked them personally. Then the person is forced to defend him/herself.

 

[Lostwitheal]

Hehe, I tried something similar a few months ago, I was kind of bored and decided to have another shot at making an enemy (never really knew how you go about doing that)

So when asked to do something utterly ridiculous, I replied with a short email stating only:

"No. That's stupid"

I expected outrage. Or something.

Unfortunately, the person that got the email apologized to me for having such a dumb idea, and has been extra nice to me ever since.

It seems it's utterly impossible to have any fun at work.

Haha, that certainly backfired!

I've been experimenting with using nicknames for people like "Wench" for shits and giggles. You'd think it would be controversial to use such terms with co-workers..

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I always suspected you weren't quite human, and now it's confirmed beyond any doubt. Very good.

Tell me, which planet did you come from, and, more importantly, did you bring the technology that makes you like your job with you?

Yes, but it involves electro-shock. I doubt it would work on you but I'd Love to try.

<----Kinda looks like you dudn't it? (That's american southern for doesn't it)

 

[Keary]

Keary, which bit of australia, which suburb, which exact outlet?

Rockhampton, in the Glenmore shopping complex thing.

 

[AlisaD]

Hmmm...I think the problem is you phrased it wrong. You should have said, "No. You're stupid for telling me to do this task." According to my experience things may have proceeded differently. The person probably knew it was stupid before telling you to do it. Your saying the task was stupid just validated what they already felt about the task. They in turned soothed your feathers (since they probably thought you were offended that they asked you to do something so obviously stupid) by apologizing. Anyway, call them stupid and you have suddenly attacked them personally. Then the person is forced to defend him/herself.

AHA! Mental note: "In order to make an enemy make it personal"
Oh dear, this is going to be a though one

I've been experimenting with using nicknames for people like "Wench" for shits and giggles. You'd think it would be controversial to use such terms with co-workers..

But no one was offended, right? And in the end you were the one getting irritated by the fact that they weren't irritated?

Yes, but it involves electro-shock. I doubt it would work on you but I'd Love to try.

<----Kinda looks like you dudn't it? (That's american southern for doesn't it)

Yeah, tried that one before, all it did for me was give me a short-lasted craving for strawberries and visions of giant hammers parading the street (maybe I shouldn't have listened to the Wall before the treatment)

But, if it means so much to you dear, I'll let you play with them electrodes for a while, only this time, I'll listen to the Dead Kennedies, I always did want to go to Cambodia for a holiday.

 

[Oblivious]

I guess I should say something of relevance to this thread.

I have been a NEET for slightly over a month and will continue to be one for another month maybe. Aahh, glorious dependency. Even when I manage to buy a house I will still be living with my parents as it is my ambition one day to collect enough rent to live off and engage in an artistic simple life of random impulse and debauchery free of wage slavery.

In the meantime I will be programmer, game programmer if I am lucky enough. I expect that that will be entertaining enough for awhile.

With compulsory education and conscription behind me and my tertiary education on the way, life is looking pretty rosy. All I need now is a secure investment plan.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

But, if it means so much to you dear, I'll let you play with them electrodes for a while, only this time, I'll listen to the Dead Kennedies, I always did want to go to Cambodia for a holiday.

You seem more like a Winnebago Warrior to me. I Kill Children myself.

 

[AlisaD]

You seem more like a Winnebago Warrior to me. I Kill Children myself.

No dear, I'm simply Too Drunk to Fuck in a society where Kinky Sex Makes The World Go 'round.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Sounds like you need to quit your job at the Kepone Factory and move to Cali. California uber alles.

 

[AlisaD]

Well, if I stop being a Chickenshit Conformist, I suppose that's what I'll do.

 

[cheese]

IB, you look mighty happy riding that long, hard...unicycle. But then, you've always been a little uni, a little mono, a little one-way street. Surprisingly little - I was still halfway across the room last night.

Keary:
Queensland? That's a bit far for ice cream.


OP:
I don't like my job, but I don't hate it. I hate doing it, but the pay's good, and IB tips me (it's a small tip, but he isn't very 'blessed' in that department. It's because he's a skank-shagging atheist.).

 

[AlisaD]

Revived, because I'm pissed off. Again.

I am currently supposed to be cooperating closely with a guy who can, at best, be described as a random phrase generator. Oh the humanity!

I hate marketing people.

 

[dreamoftheunknown]

From what I've seen, all jobs suck. Even if you supposedly like your job, there are going to be things about it that just piss you off. What makes jobs really bad is that sooner or later, the annoying shit you have to deal with far outweigh the things that you like, and you end up forgetting what you liked about the job, that is if you liked in in the first place. But that's why we get paid to do them. Otherwise, no one would do them.

My feelings about my job are like this: Some days I like it, some days I absolutely hate it. Very rarely (and getting more and more infrequent as time goes on), I absolutely love it. What do I hate the most about it? It's a toss-up between the fact that it takes so damn long to get a real job (if you ever do), and having to deal with obnoxious people that are by far more lacking in the social graces department than the norm. The life of a postdoc is defined by the grim reality that you are slave labor that gets tossed around every 2 or 3 years by super-egotistical professors who can no longer do their own research, demand so much of your time that you can't do your own research, pay themselves 5 times what they pay you, take all the credit for your work, but don't even have the decency to offer you a proper job. Oh, and then they tell the whole world that you couldn't cut it in science when you finally grow up and realize that there are professions that at least offer decent pay and don't require you to move across the country or farther every couple of years. Of course, they conveniently forget that they didn't have to accomplish nearly what you have at a similar stage in their careers. And did I mention that they all bitch about how young people are arrogant and don't know anything and can't be bothered to read papers written when their parents were kids or even before? Never mind that those papers have been obsolete for a very long time (if they were even relevant to the topic at hand, in the first place). Oh, and let me not forget that they're all micromanaging S.O.B.s that constantly make ridiculous requests and impose arbitrary deadlines because they wanted something done a certain way and RIGHT NOW. "What do you mean you won't have it done in the next 5 minutes?!? Back in my day, we use to write papers simply by LOOKING at them!" You might think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't at least once profess to the universe my deepest, most profound, and undying hatred for professors.

Even the good parts of the job (like doing the science) are completely dwarfed in dealing with obnoxious things. Either you have to work with people you can't stand, or you have to smoothed over the ruffled feathers of perpetually stressed out people who once got along but have suddenly decided that they absolutely loathe each other, or you have to meet the arbitrary demands of a professor who makes virtually no substantial contribution to the project but will still insist on having his name on it (or even making himself first author). Even if you don't have to deal with any of that, you still have to write the paper, and half the time you'll get an idiot referee who will bitch about your paper because he/she didn't understand it, most likely because he/she didn't even bother to read the paper. Think you're done? Hah, no. Because after you get the paper published (that is, if you get it published), you have to present it at conferences (yeah, we have to network, too - ugh!), and most of the comments you'll get will come from people (most often professors) who are miffed that you didn't cite an obscure paper they wrote decades ago that's only peripherally related, anyway. Honestly, you're lucky if you just get that. Sometimes, professors will just heckle you for no reason.

Oh, and you don't get to complain. Or if you do, you had better be damned sure that no one else in the field ever hears about it. Because those useless professors that make your life a living hell are also the guys who can destroy your entire career with nothing more than a lukewarm reference letter (or even just having uttered one lukewarm sentence about you). And as for enemies, you can make them through no fault of your own and without even realizing that you've made an enemy. The reason can be simply because you work with someone that some other prof in the field can't stand. Or it can even be for simply using the model of the guy/gal that some prof in the field can't stand, even if you are also using his/her model. [I kid you not. This actually happened to me.]

Oh, and did I forget to mention that this is the life you get for 4+ years of undergraduate, 5+ years of grad school, and God knows how much debt? So basically, you're in school forever, you have to do several residencies all at different institutions, you get treated like crap, and they don't even pay for it (not to mention the fact that since you're late entering the game, your future earning potential is limited...Ph.D. be damned). Seriously. Just. Don't. Do. It. If you're that masochistic, go to medical school or law school. At least they pay you for being a doctor or a lawyer.

 

[Beat Mango]

Well at work I primiarily rely on introverted sensing (bureaucratic tasks), extroverted feeling (keeping people happy, keeping in touch with the office dynamics) and the occasional bit of extroverted thinking and extroverted sensing... yeah, fml.

 

[Geminii]

*cracks knuckles*

I currently work in an office where:


- there is no training available for the work I was hired to do.

- there is no information available which I could use to train myself on the work I do.

- there is no documentation which I could use as a source of information to train myself on the work I do.

- the one other person who knows how to do the job is not in the office 60% of the time, and the other 40% is random and unscheduled.

- in order to be able to do this job, I would need to extract about five years of information from the head of this person, who was never trained formally or wrote anything down, but built up a subconscious set of how to do things over that time.

- extracting this information from this person, I estimate, would take about one to two years at current rates.

- the software platforms for which this person has semi-memorised the literally thousands of arcane incantations to use have just been made obsolete, and a new set of platforms have been rolled out.

- the testing procedures for the new platforms, which should be at least 99% correct, are >80% faulty.

- the data in the new platforms is incomplete and in some cases incorrect.

- my job involves delivering perfectly accurate data from these platforms on short notice.

- I have not been given access to the new platforms. At all.

- While it might be possible for me to create documentation regarding how to use and access the new vastly simplified) platforms, it would take several months.

- my contract finishes in eight months anyway.

- the data I extract goes towards the operations of a small government entity which is the worst-run I have ever encountered or ever heard of, and I've been in government work most of my life.

- the entity in question is responsible for adminstering a 1994 federal decision in, apparently, the worst possible way for not only itself but for the affected members of the public.

- everyone else in goverment appears to hate or at least openly disrespect this entity.

- its lack of incoming work suggests it will be wrapped up in five to six years anyway, so there's no point in planning anything beyond then.

- it's the place where public servant careers go to die, it seems. People there are either deadwood, idiots, or have had their careers broken so badly nowhere else will take them.

- I suspect the building itself has SBS, given the amount of sick leave taken.

- the entity has had multiple large annual funding reductions, resulting in huge layoffs.

- despite this, it's still spending (I estimate) about twice what it needs to be to actually get the work done.

- I can't fix any of this because of the aforementioned idiots, deadwood, and timeframes.

- I just got a new temporary boss who can't plan for anything beyond the end of the week.

- ...which is exactly the kind of attitude which caused the current situation in the first place.

- I am required to complete twenty pages of self-assessment forms in order to apply for a pay increment which I cannot get anyway because I have not been there long enough.

- The actual work I do, if I was able to do it properly and had the references for it, is itself composed of manual workarounds for two separate systems which people should be able to use instead of having to come to me at all in the first place.

- Both these systems are broken.

- every computer system and service the current IT manager has touched in the last two years has imploded into the worst possible implementation of its kind.

- vacation days, sick days, and every other day are expected to be recorded on three entirely separate computer systems, all of which are stupidly slow and overcomplicated. NORMAL days require only one system, but at least four separate entries, each of which can take five to ten minutes to input.

 

[AlisaD]

Geminii - you win

 

[Geminii]

The worst part is - I've heard worse from other people. At least this place is, to drag out a tired old phrase, indoor work with no heavy lifting, and the people there are relatively nice, if completely clueless. It's only a horror story from a business perspective.

 

[AlisaD]

This thread just got a theme-song :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfkvPnjb9hs

 

[Beat Mango]

That's WEIRD, I just discovered that song the other day

 

[AlisaD]

^It was playing while we were having coffee, remember?

 

[Beat Mango]

Oh yes, of course. Ah, memories... *dreams*