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Would like to hear your thoughts on a very cuddly INTP

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#1
Would like to hear your thoughts on a very cuddly INTP
So the thing is - I have this INTP friend - we used to like each other and were sort of dating several years ago, but then things ended abruptly - he found a girlfriend in someone who was his best friend. We would still rarely meet and have deep conversations, he started to express regret and left his girlfriend for me, but already had plans to leave the continent for a couple of months. When he came back we had sex and afterwards I felt frightened (which I never explained to him) and started to avoid him, he renewed relationship with his former girlfriend and we stopped communicating for a while. Naturally we started to talk again, met a couple of times and had sex (this time he cheated on his girlfriend) and after a couple of days I said that I want to be with him and he said that he needs to be single. He initiated for us to meet and to talk about everything, but somehow we did not meet and again stopped communicating. A year or more passed, he now is together with the same girl he was then, we're talking again, this time I hope we will be strictly platonic, cause his intellect and insights have an immense value. Just the other day we met and were sitting and talking about some philosophical stuff, he then rested his head on my shoulder, hugged me for a long time and was holding my hands. It was innocent and tender, and maybe it only seemed romantic to me because we have a past. I realised it only after, that actually maybe that was not appropriate and there needs to be some boundaries for the sake of everyone. What would be your motivation behind actions like these? Why would INTP be so cuddly? What do you think about this overall? I could really use some objectivity. (sorry about the lack of conciseness)
 

Hadoblado

think again losers
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#2
I don't think it was platonic.

Before initiating such a gesture to someone I had a history with, I'd be super aware of how it might be perceived. Considering such a gesture could easily be perceived as non-platonic, if I were invested in ensuring a relationship stayed platonic, I'd just not do it.

If I were to do this to an ex, I would be trying to sleep with them.

It would take a pretty extraordinary act of charity to interpret this as innocent IMO. You know he's been attracted to you. He's cheated on his gf before with you. It sounds like he's using you for sex. Sorry.

How happy would he be for his partner to see this affection for you? If he wouldn't be, then he's being sly at the very least.
 

Pyropyro

Magos Biologis
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#3
I think he wants some sex. I don't think he's being friendly and cuddly.
 

Nebulous

kangaroos have a weird reproductive system
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#4
Just the other day we met and were sitting and talking about some philosophical stuff, he then rested his head on my shoulder, hugged me for a long time and was holding my hands. It was innocent and tender, and maybe it only seemed romantic to me because we have a past.
Mm honest to god I've been going slightly crazy just wanting to be able to be like that with, well one guy in particular, but anyone really. I need to be held or I'll die.

I think the consensus here is that I am not INTP. But I bet that everyone craves that innocent and tender sort of soft openness and comfort to some degree.
 

cedardust

damn I wish I could be a ninja
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#5
But I bet that everyone craves that innocent and tender sort of soft openness and comfort to some degree.
I agree with that. As infants we thrive off it. That doesn't really ever leave us whether we admit it or not.


intuitivisions, I'd imagine your friend wouldn't mind a little something something more.... I used to work with a lot of Muslim folk. Many of them had multiple wives. They had a hard time understanding why the rest of us weren't about that. I'm guessing he feels a sense of possession over you. Especially if you've shared deep conversations and such. He'd probably be a happy guy if he could have you both.

But if you aren't down with that, you should try to explain it to him. Because it does seem there's a pattern going on there. Just be honest with him and with yourself and I'm sure whatever is meant to happen will.
 
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