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What to answer

rondelle

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I told in a text to an INTP guy, that I like him. Honestly the text was very straightforward and understandable. Yet he managed to ask me some clarification. I'm very confused now. Is it possible that he didn't understand my text, is he not interested or he is just buying some time?
 

Cognisant

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Assuming you're both fairly young I'd say he's insecure (all young men are they just show it in different ways) and terrified of misinterpreting you.
 

higs

Omg wow imo
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Can you tell us what the text was ? If you are french as your name suggests tu peux l'écrire en Français
 

higs

Omg wow imo
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If you feel comfortable doing so of course, I get it if you would rather not. It's just that the information would be relevant ?
 

rondelle

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If you feel comfortable doing so of course, I get it if you would rather not. It's just that the information would be relevant ?

I need to write it out at least once. I’ve always liked you, from the beginning to this day, though I had a few other things. I like your personality, I like our conversations, I like the fact that you are independent and free spirited. Though I’m more than aware now that you’re not flawless. I’m ok with that, I’m ok with the fact that you need some alone time, though I wished you would have told me instead of just not replying me sometimes. But I’m sorry for freaking on you the way I did.


The reason of this text, is : I’m still interested yes, but I’d like to move on if you are not. At least interested in meeting with me. I think I deserve your honesty, we don’t have to make any plans yet, but I need to know. Have a nice week end.
 

Minuend

pat pat
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What did he say? If he didn't show interest at this point, he probably isn't romantically interested in you, he's trying to get away but he's too socially awkward to know how.
 

rondelle

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What did he say? If he didn't show interest at this point, he probably isn't romantically interested in you, he's trying to get away but he's too socially awkward to know how.

"Can I ask what you mean by interested?" Yes that was I assume : that he is too socially awkward to honestly tell me he isn't interested, but that a clear "no" would help me much better
 

Animekitty

baby marshmallow born today
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I would say you wish to be more than friends, something on a romantic level. And interested in getting together.
 

Ex-User (14663)

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What did he say? If he didn't show interest at this point, he probably isn't romantically interested in you, he's trying to get away but he's too socially awkward to know how.

"Can I ask what you mean by interested?" Yes that was I assume : that he is too socially awkward to honestly tell me he isn't interested, but that a clear "no" would help me much better
Completely wrong conclusion in my view. The kid is a social retard so any guess is as good as the other. He probably panicked and came up with a response that minimizes risk.
 

rondelle

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Ok, now he starting talking with back me but just more chit chat. Should I follow through or confront him again?
 

Ex-User (14663)

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Ease off the gas pedal a bit and maybe not message him at all for a few days. Pressure shouldn’t build linearly but more like in waves.
 

rondelle

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Honestly, I hate conflicts and I avoid them too well myself, but I also believe, in order to save something, sometimes it's necessary. Mostly because we tend to assume a lot from people, when you can simply fix it by "asking" and "talking".

Anyway, I'll let him cool down a little bit ah ah.
 

ZenRaiden

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Maybe he wanted to know what sort of relationship you want. I mean there are many kinds from fuck buddies to platonic ones and anything inbetween. INTPs that are immature tend to use Ti instead of Fe when dealing with people.

He might be retarded and all and he might be a little slow, but your not making it easy with ambiguous language.
 

ZenRaiden

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Another thought occured to me he might be interested in someone else and you might have put him in situation where he might think he will lose a friend.
 

rondelle

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Well thank you for your input. He lost a friend anyway.
 

Daddy

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I think he's questioning your motivations or intentions for being interested in him. That's what it sounds like to me, but maybe I'm projecting my own typical thinking onto his words.
 

Kormak

The IT barbarian - eNTP - 6w7-4-8 so/sx
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Well thank you for your input. He lost a friend anyway.
What exactly did you tell him?
Being interested and liking someone can mean many things:
  • sexually interested & in love
  • friends
  • it can mean you think he is cool or a good person
e_e some INTPs have very low EQ ... clarification is required.

The problem now really is that relationships initiated by women tend to fail mainly because the girl usually wishes the guy had done it instead, so it starts feeling wrong even if the guy gets interested. Ive seen this be4. Nature is odd like that.
 

rondelle

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He texted me today saying that he thought I was too extraverted for him and we wouldn't get along much. Also another girl is involved. That's why he was so reluctant about coming forward with me.

Does it mean dead end?
 
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