What should I do?

[HDINTP]

So I have a problem. I was fine now for a while but then this happened:

I got to know a girl at our school and I really started to like her. Like her completely not just sexual attraction. However there is a problem. There is a guy in our class and he is trying to annoy me for few months now. Me as my usual self didn't react. But it seems he somehow got to know that I like her and it all started at a P.E. lesson. First he was talking about sexual topics then could not get that I do not prefer one-night sex and then later during the lesson I heard him saying that he is going to F--K her. Of course he was looking for my reaction and I was like nothing is really happening but now he is still around her always looking at my reactions. I would not mind it if he really liked her but it looks like he is using her just to get to me. And the last time I saw them together I could not take it anymore. When entering the bus I dropped my money, tissue and almost fell over. Then tears started to come out and I had to borrow tissue from one of my classmates. I do not know what to do. She told me later that they when we were talking that it does not last for a long time and that is what I was afraid of. If I tell her that he is a cunt who just wants to f--k her plus mostly to get me angry then she would not think anything positive would she? On the other hand I am trying to calm myself thinking she is not stupid but well he plays his acting role quite well. I just want her to be happy but not to get hurt but he does not care if he hurts her feeling or something and this what he is doing is really blow below the belt.

I was talking to few classmates just about that he is trying to make me angry and they all said that they think he is just shooting into the darkness and does not usually know things about you but now he hit bulls eye. And it hit me harder than ever. I thought I could take her out somewhere?

Anyway. What do you think is his objective? What advice would you give me now? I do not know myself like this. I am usually calm, easy-going, carefree but now I do care about her and want to prevent her from pain. That is it. So I would really like to get advices all are welcomed. Thanks

 

[Montresor]

Compelling story. I feel ya totally.

OK so here's my point of view:

He wants to fuck her. Sorry bro.
He wants to bully you at the same time.

I'm sorry you cried about it, that's unfortunate, but it could work to your advantage in the long run.

You probably should not say anything negative about him to her. Try to avoid things like pouting as well, not that I'm saying you pout but I believe you might be.

If she's interested in you at all she'll be watching you for signs of self-confidence and competence. She may even be looking to you for encouragement.

This thread probly belongs in human relationships ... btw



So here is how to deal with your adversary: approach the object of your affection and tell her ... maybe that you would like to have a bit of her time in private to talk. If she agrees and respects your request then you are on the right track. If she does not, she is too immature for you.

When you do have a chance to open up to her, keep the attitude positive. Negativity pushes girls/women away quite forcefully. Be mindful of your posture and your eye contact. The approach I would take, now, being an adult, would be to flat out tell her how you feel about her, and tell her your observations about her interactions with the other male.

"It looks like Jeff is really into you" .. pause (if she smiles or drifts off, it's a bad sign)
"Jeff doesn't see the things that I see" .. pause (if she wants you to elaborate, it's a GOOD sign)

At the end of the day, I truly believe women want to simply choose the best mate available to them and they place little importance in the feelings, desires, what-have-you, of any males that didn't make the grade.

 

[HDINTP]

Compelling story. I feel ya totally.

OK so here's my point of view:

He wants to fuck her. Sorry bro.
He wants to bully you at the same time.

I'm sorry you cried about it, that's unfortunate, but it could work to your advantage in the long run.

You probably should not say anything negative about him to her. Try to avoid things like pouting as well, not that I'm saying you pout but I believe you might be.

If she's interested in you at all she'll be watching you for signs of self-confidence and competence. She may even be looking to you for encouragement.

This thread probly belongs in human relationships ... btw



So here is how to deal with your adversary: approach the object of your affection and tell her ... maybe that you would like to have a bit of her time in private to talk. If she agrees and respects your request then you are on the right track. If she does not, she is too immature for you.

When you do have a chance to open up to her, keep the attitude positive. Negativity pushes girls/women away quite forcefully. Be mindful of your posture and your eye contact. The approach I would take, now, being an adult, would be to flat out tell her how you feel about her, and tell her your observations about her interactions with the other male.

"It looks like Jeff is really into you" .. pause (if she smiles or drifts off, it's a bad sign)
"Jeff doesn't see the things that I see" .. pause (if she wants you to elaborate, it's a GOOD sign)

At the end of the day, I truly believe women want to simply choose the best mate available to them and they place little importance in the feelings, desires, what-have-you, of any males that didn't make the grade.

Thanks
Yes it belongs to human relationships I forgot. And if I did beat him up. I think that could be also one of the things he is after to make me fight him. Well I will definitely try. He did not manage to annoy me before but now he just crossed the line.

 

[Montresor]

oh man do you need advice for dealing with a male or dealing with a female?

Whole different ball game my brother.

 

[HDINTP]

oh man do you need advice for dealing with a male or dealing with a female?

Whole different ball game my brother.

It is fine with female of course. I was just reacting on bullying part. It would be perfectly enough if I managed to just get her away from him because he does not like her and I do not want him to hurt her. I take her more as a friend but a "problem" is that I care about her. And as you said it would not work well if I tried to explain to her that he does not really like her. Plus I do not want to use techniques to make her sleep with me I would not be happy this way. I will always like her. As I said I want to prevent her from emotional pain...

 

[Montresor]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_punch

 

[HDINTP]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_punch

Well this is strong coffee but you are not far from my fighting style have you heard of Jeet Kune Do?

 

[HDINTP]

But allright thanks for your answers and I will take the road you showed in your first post

 

[defghi]

It sounds like the guy is trolling you. The first thing you have to do is vanquish him. He has already provoked an emotional response from you, so your options are limited and you have to be careful- you can easily put yourself at a further disadvantage.

Remember that the key to defeating a troll is winning the support of your peers- how you appear to him is irrelevant, how you appear to everyone else is everything. If you continue with immature emotional or violent outbursts you will cement yourself in a hole that will be nearly impossible to recover from. You have shown weakness, how you follow it is crucial.

There is one particular advantage that you have the means to gain- weakness, when followed by kindness, will be seen as compassion and maturity. If you follow your weakness instead with violence, it will appear immature and will drive away any potential support.

So, be nice to this douche. If he continues to be a douche, it will be contrasted with your propriety and manners, and he will suffer for it. If you lash out at him, you will only serve to place him in a more favorable light.

Once you have established yourself as the superior in manners, you will be free to criticize his at will.

 

[HDINTP]

It sounds like the guy is trolling you. The first thing you have to do is vanquish him. He has already provoked an emotional response from you, so your options are limited and you have to be careful- you can easily put yourself at a further disadvantage.

Remember that the key to defeating a troll is winning the support of your peers- how you appear to him is irrelevant, how you appear to everyone else is everything. If you continue with immature emotional or violent outbursts you will cement yourself in a hole that will be nearly impossible to recover from. You have shown weakness, how you follow it is crucial.

There is one particular advantage that you have the means to gain- weakness, when followed by kindness, will be seen as compassion and maturity. If you follow your weakness instead with violence, it will appear immature and will drive away any potential support.

So, be nice to this douche. If he continues to be a douche, it will be contrasted with your propriety and manners, and he will suffer for it. If you lash out at him, you will only serve to place him in a more favorable light.

Once you have established yourself as the superior in manners, you will be free to criticize his at will.

Ok so you think that he is trolling. That of course is possible. I will control my emotions but as I already said earlier I think that I really needed this break now coming back on Tuesday. Thank for your opinion.

 

[HDINTP]

It sounds like the guy is trolling you. The first thing you have to do is vanquish him. He has already provoked an emotional response from you, so your options are limited and you have to be careful- you can easily put yourself at a further disadvantage.

Remember that the key to defeating a troll is winning the support of your peers- how you appear to him is irrelevant, how you appear to everyone else is everything. If you continue with immature emotional or violent outbursts you will cement yourself in a hole that will be nearly impossible to recover from. You have shown weakness, how you follow it is crucial.

There is one particular advantage that you have the means to gain- weakness, when followed by kindness, will be seen as compassion and maturity. If you follow your weakness instead with violence, it will appear immature and will drive away any potential support...

So, be nice to this douche. If he continues to be a douche, it will be contrasted with your propriety and manners, and he will suffer for it. If you lash out at him, you will only serve to place him in a more favorable light.

Once you have established yourself as the superior in manners, you will be free to criticize his at will.

So yes now he is going crazy but she is lying to me which seems unreasonable to me. She just wanted to become more popular I guess because that guy is doing school TV.

 

[Montresor]

So yes now he is going crazy but she is lying to me which seems unreasonable to me. She just wanted to become more popular I guess because that guy is doing school TV.

oh so she is ESFP then. haha.

move on.

 

[HDINTP]

oh so she is ESFP then. haha.

move on.

Yup. You are absolutely right. I was thinking about her type yesterday. First I thought she was an ENFP but then after some reading I also came to conclusion she is an ESFP.

Can you explain me how exactly did you come to this conclusion please. I would appreciate it. Thanks.

 

[Montresor]

Yup. You are absolutely right. I was thinking about her type yesterday. First I thought she was an ENFP but then after some reading I also came to conclusion she is an ESFP.

Can you explain me how exactly did you come to this conclusion please. I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Glad you asked.

I came to the conclusion very very quickly, but I fear that putting it into words might take a while.

That's one of the things about Ni - good luck explaining to anyone how your conclusions are drawn.

Anyways,

Reason 1: You like her, she knows you like her, there is the back-story, and now you claim she lies to you. Tells me straight-up she is Fi.

Reason 2: You find her lying to be unreasonable. Since you are INTP, I trust your powers of reason, therefore, I fully accept she is being unreasonable.

Reason 3: Your analysis yields the conclusion that she has chosen the other male, to enhance her popularity image, and because he does the school video. This tells me a number of things : 1 - she is extraverted. 2 - she has a preference for S over N.

We already know the other male is extraverted, based on the backstory.

Conclusion: SeFi. ESFP.

 

[Hadoblado]

Reason 1: You like her, she knows you like her, there is the back-story, and now you claim she lies to you. Tells me straight-up she is Fi.

How does that work?

Reason 2: You find her lying to be unreasonable. Since you are INTP, I trust your powers of reason, therefore, I fully accept she is being unreasonable.

a) He is a self-typed INTP, they are often different.

b) This is a social situation and you think 'powers of reason' are the only thing that counts?

Reason 3: Your analysis yields the conclusion that she has chosen the other male, to enhance her popularity image, and because he does the school video. This tells me a number of things : 1 - she is extraverted. 2 - she has a preference for S over N.

a) He is a heartbroken teenager that's just had his girlfriend stolen by a douchetwat and you think he is going to produce an accurate depiction of why events turned out the way they did? The conclusion that she rejected him out of "a need to increase her popularity" is entirely suspect.

b) A want to be liked doesn't necessarily predict extroversion.

c) How on Earth did you realise she was a senser from this information?

We already know the other male is extraverted, based on the backstory.

Not everyone on the screen is an extrovert.

Sorry to be a rainer of parades, it just seems like you make far too many leaps to come to such a concise conclusion.

 

[Montresor]

psshhhh

This is exactly why I expressed my reluctance to rationalize my conclusion.

Sorry to be a rainer of parades, it just seems like you make far too many leaps to come to such a concise conclusion.

It's Ni buddy and you don't use it.


Edit: I was just as surprised that I was "right" about her type, as anybody else was. Doesn't make me wrong tho.

 

[HDINTP]

Glad you asked.

I came to the conclusion very very quickly, but I fear that putting it into words might take a while.

That's one of the things about Ni - good luck explaining to anyone how your conclusions are drawn.

Anyways,

Reason 1: You like her, she knows you like her, there is the back-story, and now you claim she lies to you. Tells me straight-up she is Fi.

Reason 2: You find her lying to be unreasonable. Since you are INTP, I trust your powers of reason, therefore, I fully accept she is being unreasonable.

Reason 3: Your analysis yields the conclusion that she has chosen the other male, to enhance her popularity image, and because he does the school video. This tells me a number of things : 1 - she is extraverted. 2 - she has a preference for S over N.

We already know the other male is extraverted, based on the backstory.

Conclusion: SeFi. ESFP.

But I still do not know if I should let her go. As for lying. I did not tell her that I know she is lying to me yet. Should I? It also makes me feel that she thinks I have to be stupid or what because it is so obvious. Could I tell you friday story. It was a bit confusing for me.

 

[Montresor]

This is your thread bro you post away. Once you're tired of me just tell me to fuck off it's all good.

If we're right about Fi then I doubt she'll care much whether you tell her you know she is lying or not. The thing is, there is no objective/external moral code that she follows. She follows her inner morals; if she decided to lie to you already, it was a cognitive effort, and she has already justified it.

I simply do not think she has the capacity to receive your INTPness in an appropriate fashion. She is a Se lead meaning that the external senses are everything to her. She is about as deep as a puddle.

She will be inclined to follow her impulses; wherever her senses lead her she will follow. Her judgements will be based on her inner value system; she is accountable to nobody but herself. She can't see your intelligence, or your caring, or your depth. The incompatibility between you two is astounding.

You want to analyze this situation rationally, you're compelled to, regardless of whatever I say or Hadoblado says about you. This is the mindset I have for this conversation. If I am wrong about this, please tell me, because I can take different approaches.

 

[Hadoblado]

psshhhh

This is exactly why I expressed my reluctance to rationalize my conclusion.

It's Ni buddy and you don't use it.


Edit: I was just as surprised that I was "right" about her type, as anybody else was. Doesn't make me wrong tho.

You're right, Ni doesn't seem to be my thing. Well... Now he has Ni conclusions, and Ti/Te rejection of Ni conclusions. It can't hurt to give him more perspective?

Sorry to realize the causal force behind your reluctance, I don't mean to be a dick



I just am

 

[Absurdity]

So here is how to deal with your adversary: approach the object of your affection and tell her ... maybe that you would like to have a bit of her time in private to talk. If she agrees and respects your request then you are on the right track. If she does not, she is too immature for you.

When you do have a chance to open up to her, keep the attitude positive. Negativity pushes girls/women away quite forcefully. Be mindful of your posture and your eye contact. The approach I would take, now, being an adult, would be to flat out tell her how you feel about her, and tell her your observations about her interactions with the other male.

"It looks like Jeff is really into you" .. pause (if she smiles or drifts off, it's a bad sign)
"Jeff doesn't see the things that I see" .. pause (if she wants you to elaborate, it's a GOOD sign)

At the end of the day, I truly believe women want to simply choose the best mate available to them and they place little importance in the feelings, desires, what-have-you, of any males that didn't make the grade.

Hahaha oh my god this is terrible advice. Now I see what Minuend was on about.

All this girl wants is attention. Go spend it elsewhere with other girls and she might actually care about you for a second (because she wants you to focus back on her).

 

[HDINTP]

Hahaha oh my god this is terrible advice. Now I see what Minuend was on about.

All this girl wants is attention. Go spend it elsewhere with other girls and she might actually care about you for a second (because she wants you to focus back on her).

Nice I read few books about sexuality and things like that and of course this makes sense. When I am needy it is wrong. But you know the problem that I think Montresor had already understood is that I do not want to use others to make her do what I want. Bacause that guy I am talking about in the opening post is doing exactly this. He is using her to make me do what he wants. Get reactions he wants from me and he does not really care about that girl and I do. If he liked her I would love it but knowing him I can tell that the chance he likes her are too low.

 

[Hadoblado]

Has it occurred to you that he is not using her to get at you, but that he is bullying you to get to her? By lowering your social standing, he is ruling out his competition.

 

[Brontosaurie]

ENTP alpha mocking your introversion?

 

[Absurdity]

But you know the problem that I think Montresor had already understood is that I do not want to use others to make her do what I want. Bacause that guy I am talking about in the opening post is doing exactly this. He is using her to make me do what he wants. Get reactions he wants from me and he does not really care about that girl and I do. If he liked her I would love it but knowing him I can tell that the chance he likes her are too low.

Your idealism is precious but it will do nothing but harm you. You don't get bonus points for having a moral code.

Now I'll use my psychic powers to diagnose the situation more completely (read: draw upon my own similar experiences in high school).

You like this girl "completely not just sexually" because of the Halo Effect. She's pretty and she gives you some modicum of attention (because you're weird but probably not terribly unattractive and you quite openly adore her), and this is a new sensation for you because female attention isn't something you're used to.

The truth is this girl is probably terribly uninteresting and not worth your time or your affection. You'll realize this eventually, after a string of girls like her leave you bitter and disaffected. If you don't want to use others to get to her and use her then you really don't have any reason to even be aware of her existence.

Things will eventually swing in your favor in 5-10 years when going to college and doing something with your life matters more than being the biggest dick on the playground. Until then you'll have to bide your time. Good luck.

Has it occurred to you that he is not using her to get at you, but that he is bullying you to get to her? By lowering your social standing, he is ruling out his competition.

It's not either/or it's both.

 

[HDINTP]

Your idealism is precious but it will do nothing but harm you. You don't get bonus points for having a moral code.

Now I'll use my psychic powers to diagnose the situation more completely (read: draw upon my own similar experiences in high school).

You like this girl "completely not just sexually" because of the Halo Effect. She's pretty and she gives you some modicum of attention (because you're weird but probably not terribly unattractive and you quite openly adore her), and this is a new sensation for you because female attention isn't something you're used to.

The truth is this girl is probably terribly uninteresting and not worth your time or your affection. You'll realize this eventually, after a string of girls like her leave you bitter and disaffected. If you don't want to use others to get to her and use her then you really don't have any reason to even be aware of her existence.

Things will eventually swing in your favor in 5-10 years when going to college and doing something with your life matters more than being the biggest dick on the playground. Until then you'll have to bide your time. Good luck.



It's not either/or it's both.

thank you for your opinion

 

[HDINTP]

This is your thread bro you post away. Once you're tired of me just tell me to fuck off it's all good.

If we're right about Fi then I doubt she'll care much whether you tell her you know she is lying or not. The thing is, there is no objective/external moral code that she follows. She follows her inner morals; if she decided to lie to you already, it was a cognitive effort, and she has already justified it.

I simply do not think she has the capacity to receive your INTPness in an appropriate fashion. She is a Se lead meaning that the external senses are everything to her. She is about as deep as a puddle.

She will be inclined to follow her impulses; wherever her senses lead her she will follow. Her judgements will be based on her inner value system; she is accountable to nobody but herself. She can't see your intelligence, or your caring, or your depth. The incompatibility between you two is astounding.

You want to analyze this situation rationally, you're compelled to, regardless of whatever I say or Hadoblado says about you. This is the mindset I have for this conversation. If I am wrong about this, please tell me, because I can take different approaches.

Yes you are right. I want it to be rationally analyzed because I am not as objective as usually when it comes to her so I thought it could work if I ask here and it does thanks to you and the other guy in this thread.

She does not know that I truly love her I think. So I will go on now and tell you things where it seems she thinks I am blind because even an "idiot" can see these. Of course there are other possibilities but...

On Thursday I went to school with my mum helping her with luggage. He saw us and was slowing down intentionally. He said: „HI!“. I did not say anything went straight up to her, looked her in the eyes and said Hi. She did not say a word. I continued with my mum and they went the same way.
When I arrived at school heading on my first lesson that they she was just passing me by leaving school so I told her Hi once again this time she did answer and was gone. Thursday was a day of the festival but it is not all. My mother told me that she is not sure but thinks that they were holding hands and I think that could have been a reason why they were stunned maybe they thought I should see that but I obviously did not and was soo happy that day (In their mind I think)

On Friday. I went with my “friend” Thomas to school and there is one thing I want to say too and that is that on Wednesday this let’s call him for example Jeff. He was waiting for her watching his telephone a lot and then when we were on our way home with Thomas we were talking about him a bit and Thomas told me that Jeff was waiting for a friend. I said: “For a friend, really? I would not think this about him but I thought he was unusually happy and it was not because he would know that today is the day when we get checked our math notebook.” I asked Thomas if he Jeff is from the city the school is and he said yes but later that day he said that he made a mistake and that it was wrong and just that he lives near the city. So as I said on Friday we were going to school and I told Thomas : “Could we go faster?” And he said that we could. Then I was waiting for her to come. Thomas asked me if I am going up stairs and I said no I always take my time you know that. I went with her opened door for her and Thomas was sitting close to the door and saw me. I was about to explain the situation to him but he looked like he already knew. He said that it is fine and that he understands. At this point I thought that he knew that from the very start but I am still not quite sure if I can trust him however I did not tell him nevertheless I believe he knows…

After that during the day I was so full of energy for the first time in long time. I became really talkative, straightforward and confident during lessons. So during Germany lesson teacher asked Jeff something and I told teacher you do not really mean it to ask him about this do you? Jeff shouted shut up at me and told teacher he did not know. I said of course he does not know did you truly think he could know how could he? I was also too fast for other students during math and my teacher was so excited that I decided to cooperate saying things like “He is right. He is good” which pissed Jeff off. During one break Jeff was passing me while I was drinking and pushed my bottle quite deep you know I managed the situation and told him that he should be careful. In return he shouted uncontrollably at me that I should be more careful. I asked him why is he so nervous that I am just being more communicative as he wanted and that I think he is in a bad mood and he answered that it is my fault. I continued doing I do not know what he is talking about. During the day I asked the girl what time does she go home she told me so I said ok. She finishes school one hour earlier on Fridays. So when they finished I went down to wait for her as I was searching after my keys he appeared and unlocked for my with his keys. I thanked him but he did not say a thing instead he was just looking at me as a murderer. So I took my things and said that he is patient today staying here for so long again the exact same look. He went out smoking and then she “escaped me”. They went together on a bus so I went few minutes after them. I was “lucky” to make it in time on bus. I did but she was not there. I could not see her on other stations either so when I arrived to my hometown I just could not help it and I decided to wait for 1-2 hours to check if she does arrive. I went on information and asked about nearest link then I caught every single bus going to her city and asked details about the way because I thought she could have gone one or two stations further or go from station 12. I met few people that I knew so we talked a little bit and then I went to check the bus that was set to arrive exactly one hour later. She was there so I went to her and I do not know what I should had read from her look when she saw me from the distance. Didn’t seem to be thrilled but when I came closer she was fine asking me what am I doing here for so long so I said I had to do few things of mine and that I also met few friends so I had conversations with them. I told her that I wanted to ask her about Easter and that it took me little bit longer and I asked her what time did she go home and why not as she told me. She said that she did not make in time but I knew she could have made it if she wanted to. So I said just that it is really hard to make in in time when you finish school at 1 PM. Which was offensive from me looking back now. I also asked her about Thursday and she told me that she went on that festival which I should had remembered if I recall correctly because she told me on the 25th of March when we were writing Literature tests on an alternative date. So in the afternoon that day she told me they wanted to go on a festival with parents and that she won’t make it. On the 26th she told me that they will go next time. So it was Thursday she said and as the reason for going to school just for a minute she said that it was last possible date to get points for her Math Notebook which was true. The thing is he was about to go on some festival too that they doing school TV things plus she was trying to persuade me all the time on Friday that the day she left early was Wednesday which was not true. I asked her if she could make it on Tuesday because there is 30 minute space to make it and she said that she thinks she could. If I were not stupid I would know that she would not go with the bus after 1 PM because she would have to wait for 30 minutes at my town but I did not want to accept that it was played on me so I would leave that day as I did and she returned to school or if she were somewhere out with him? But at that time I missed one thing and that is that the thing she talks to him and goes to school with him does not mean he had already had something with her and if he did why would he be so angry seeing me happy? And by the way I started to talk to her the same way just came up to her and started to talk to her so that means she does not reject people at least from the same school. I saw her talking to lot of people from school outside in the past so that is it. I missed this earlier. Of course he wants to persuade me she is his and he is going to f—k her. But it seems he did not manage to do that yet.

I also asked her if she has any problem and that I ask because she seems to be quite rigid. I asked her if I do bother her and she said that I don’t. So I asked if it would not bother her if I talked to her in the morning like before and she said that it would not. And do you think that it is all just the game they are both laughing when I am not around? The way she was talking it seemed t me at times as if she literally wanted me to talk to her and be around her. I also told her that I am introvert but it maybe does not seem like that. I was really talkative that day and with her I was happy and I think that it was visible. I told her that I had few personal problems I had to solve and that Easter holiday helped me a lot to recharge batteries I would say and that I really like to talk to her and am confused about that still quite a lot because the last time I felt so comfortable talking to someone was a long time really long time. Then her bus came and she told me she will have to go however before that I was trying to say something in a hurray and she told me to say it and did wait. In the end I told her that I am looking forward to see her on Tuesday and left so happy maybe that I got few things that I wanted out of myself.

Next thing I want to say Is that I am starting to get frustrated because she does not attract me sexually that much. She seems at least more intelligent to me than most people at my school and is flexible and adaptable which I am not sadly. But this is one of my long-term problems. When I like a girl which does not happen often I :
a) Like her body and am sexually attracted to her sometimes like devoid of meaning
b) Like her brain but am not sexually attracted
c) Like her body and her brain but am not sexually attracted
d) Am sexually attracted but hate the person
She is weaker C with some sexual attraction here and there case I would say. And I would like so much to love her like completely. I am sexually attracted yes but not that much. I realized that I want to be with her on Saturday. Or she could have someone who likes her but to use her…

So how do you see the situation? I would like you to analyze it and tell me what you can from that. What do you think about Thomas, does he seem to feel like helping Jeff? Why is she even lying to me? I present myself as her friend and am not trying to make her stop seeing Jeff. What do you think she thinks I think about her? What do you think she thinks about me? Why do you think she did not talk to me on Thursday when with him? Yes she was also doing something with her phone when I told her why I was so long on station on Friday. Those are just random questions. Try to analyze it as much as possible if you can please. Thanks.

 

[HDINTP]

ENTP alpha mocking your introversion?

I doubt he is NT

 

[Montresor]

Hahaha oh my god this is terrible advice. Now I see what Minuend was on about.

All this girl wants is attention. Go spend it elsewhere with other girls and she might actually care about you for a second (because she wants you to focus back on her).

Lol at this. It falls into my lap I just have to fuck it.

But yeah, whith-holding attention, it's one good manipulative strategy. Glad u saw right through it, HD.

Now I'm curious what Minuend was "on about".



EDIT: seriously!?? YOUR advice is terrible. Every single time I've seen this strategy employed the female loses all interest and the male gets nothing.

 

[Montresor]

So how do you see the situation? I would like you to analyze it and tell me what you can from that. What do you think about Thomas, does he seem to feel like helping Jeff? Why is she even lying to me? I present myself as her friend and am not trying to make her stop seeing Jeff. What do you think she thinks I think about her? What do you think she thinks about me? Why do you think she did not talk to me on Thursday when with him? Yes she was also doing something with her phone when I told her why I was so long on station on Friday. Those are just random questions. Try to analyze it as much as possible if you can please. Thanks.

Alright, I'll take a stab.

Don't worry about what I said in my last post; it may make me more like "Jeff" on the surface, but it's just a front.

I really get the sense that the girl prefers Jeff's company. He probably makes her laugh a little easier, and a lot more. If we're right about ESFP (shit yea we are) then she's probably one of those girls who says shit like "I love when people make me laugh!"

ugh it's the most stereotypically extraverted thing in the world. She honestly, sincerely looks to the outside world for stimulation.

Moving on, you don't even know what you want from her. You feel like you love her, but you don't want her sexually, at least not with any intensity. Time for some rational thought just here: it's not fair to her. We have to consider what she might want. Being an Se lead, she's going to notice a lot of things in her environment. She's going to make judgements on these criteria with Fi. This is a sour combo, because "my guess" is that she's going to want somebody who looks good, smells good, is fairly loud and extraverted, easy going, able to make her laugh, high-energy, somebody who is popular ... she won't be inclined to analyze or rationalize ANYTHING. << At least not "rationalize" in an INTP sense. Her "rationale" is going to be based strictly on SeFi perceptions/judgements.

Are you even close to what she wants in a companion?

I can see you think you want her, but what's going to happen when you realize that you two have literally nothing in common??

Waiting for hours, planning your day around her - these are normal activities ... no really, they ARE, for a young male who is painfully smitten. It's exactly the kind of stuff that I would call "attention", the stuff that Absurdity claims she thrives off of. Just to be clear, this is where she lied to you right (about missing the bus)?? I'm almost sensing that it was rational for her to lie to you, if she felt like you were stalking her.

As far as Jeff goes, bullying you in the halls ... he feels like she's his to own now. Maybe they have already made some sexual contact. It's a dreaded, sickening feeling, but what if she blew him? It's possible. Perhaps he is legitimately angry that you're trying to cut his grass.


My advice is the same as it was in post #11 (or so) - MOVE ON.

 

[HDINTP]

As for companion. Well around her I get loud and have high energy level. If I look or smell good I do not know. Yes, Jeff is able to make her laugh easily.
As for sexual attraction. My body does not respond as much as I would like to but that does not mean I would not want to have sex with her especially if she really wanted to. As for her hobbys. She seems to be flexible and able to talk about many topics but that is maybe just that she can be like chameleon. As for things in common. She says she likes maths but I am not so sure about that. She also likes sports which does not have to be bad. I can adapt actually I want to because there is not lot of people I have met during my live who I wanted to be close with or could and I want to see where can I go with her because as I said this is not question of pure sex. I think that I want to get to know her more and see where it goes.

Yes she lied to me about the bus and there is next problem. I also thought she could feel like I am stalking her. However if I ask her she won’t tell me the truth I suppose. That is the reason why I asked again and again if she want me to let her be and she says she does not and sometimes as I said in different post it makes me feel like she wants me to do something but naturally won’t tell me what because that way it would not be “interesting.” So if she felt like it was rational to lie to me then what should I do about this? I want her to understand I do not have bad intentions but I am afraid Jeff has got and for some reason I care about her so much otherwise I would not have this whole problem and probably would as you say “move on”.

As for Jeff. I would not call it bullying because it seemed to me more like he was “bullying himself there”. I prefer when people do not talk that much to me. That Jeff may think she is his then I have a huge problem with this. Me and Jeff have got different opinions on girls we care about and I do not think that woman can be taken as someone’s property. This means when someone says about a girl I care about that this is his girl I would say: “Women are not property and she is not yours she is a separate unit and you should take it as that. So she is a girl that is with you right now but she is not “Your girl””.
Do you think Thomas Is irrelevant or what can you tell about him this far?
Thanks

 

[HDINTP]

And if she blew him and I get to know that then I could go on. What can I lose?

 

[defghi]

I am not confident in how well I understand the situation, but now it sounds to me like her and Jeff have some mutual interest while you are on the outside trying to make your way in. For example Jeff had an arranged by phone meeting with her before school, you just waited around outside class so you could open the door. The bus story is especially weird to me- they went together on a bus, had to escape from you, and you spent hours trying to find where her bus went? This is not a healthy situation at all.

It really sounds to me like they go around doing things together, while you just try to find out where she will be so you can stalk her and hopefully talk to her for a few seconds. This makes Jeff's attitude much more understandable to me.

I think it's obvious to everyone around that you like her, yet she only just tolerates your presence sometimes- not a good sign at all. I would recommend getting her out of your head as best as you can.

Again, I may be misunderstanding so trust your own judgment, but to me you sound kind of creepy and I think you have no chance.

 

[HDINTP]

I am not confident in how well I understand the situation, but now it sounds to me like her and Jeff have some mutual interest while you are on the outside trying to make your way in. For example Jeff had an arranged by phone meeting with her before school, you just waited around outside class so you could open the door. The bus story is especially weird to me- they went together on a bus, had to escape from you, and you spent hours trying to find where her bus went? This is not a healthy situation at all.

It really sounds to me like they go around doing things together, while you just try to find out where she will be so you can stalk her and hopefully talk to her for a few seconds. This makes Jeff's attitude much more understandable to me.

I think it's obvious to everyone around that you like her, yet she only just tolerates your presence sometimes- not a good sign at all. I would recommend getting her out of your head as best as you can.



Again, I may be misunderstanding so trust your own judgment, but to me you sound kind of creepy and I think you have no chance.

Yeah. I think I did not use the word escape correctly becuse it was not that she would have to escape like I blocked her way or did not let her go or something like this. It was that I was too slow dressing you know and then they were already on their way and my big problem is that I am unable to go and talk to her when he is around which I am about to change today and see what it does. I waited for the bus because I do not get it why she had to tell me lie. It is her thing what she is going to do I just think it would had been better if she told me she can’t or do not want me to be around.If she escaped how you mean it I believe then I would leave her alone immediately. Instead of that when I ask her if she has any problem with me around she says no and it seems to me she wants me to do that. I do not get her behavior.
I should just go to her more and try to be more direct and straightforward I believe because it is stupid from me to think she will get my behavior with my poor social skills…
I will also tell her that I would like her to be more straightforward even though I do not think this will help at all.

It is possible I do not have a chance my problem was also that I care too much if she meets Jeff because I do not believe he has got any “good” intentions. If I do not try I won’t. These things are quite hard to predict I guess.

Anyway thanks a lot because by the way you are the second person in the thread I was talking about and I find your posts very helpful.

 

[HDINTP]

Well traffic lights stopped me. I will try in the afternoon definitely. I was slow unfortunately or maybe fortunately do not know yet.

 

[Cherry Cola]

He hit you bulls eye only because his angle of attacks is universally functional against any human being, anyone would feel awful over someone else using your love for another person to hurt you.

It's cruel and it's very simple and very low of him EVEN if you're on the outside trying to force your way in. If the latters the case they should let you know instead.

Unfortunately I can't offer any real solution, it's just that way when you're at a certain age.

However, I get the vibe from your posts that Montresors is on to something.
Why do you like this girl so much? Do you really have anything in common?

I think that what's happening is that've you've simply fallen in love with her. Which doesn't mean you are a good pair, it probably just means that you've got plenty of eager hormones in your body which when combined with a prior lack of interaction with the female sex means you can fall in love quite easily, and then once in love it's very hard to see whats going on through the rose tinted glasses love always sees you donned in.

Happened to me when I was younger, it was cool but cruel.

Remember that she isn't necessarily acting logically or nicely as well. She could just be to much of a coward to put you down straight.

 

[HDINTP]

He hit you bulls eye only because his angle of attacks is universally functional against any human being, anyone would feel awful over someone else using your love for another person to hurt you.

It's cruel and it's very simple and very low of him EVEN if you're on the outside trying to force your way in. If the latters the case they should let you know instead.

Unfortunately I can't offer any real solution, it's just that way when you're at a certain age.

However, I get the vibe from your posts that Montresors is on to something.
Why do you like this girl so much? Do you really have anything in common?

I think that what's happening is that've you've simply fallen in love with her. Which doesn't mean you are a good pair, it probably just means that you've got plenty of eager hormones in your body which when combined with a prior lack of interaction with the female sex means you can fall in love quite easily, and then once in love it's very hard to see whats going on through the rose tinted glasses love always sees you donned in.

Happened to me when I was younger, it was cool but cruel.

Remember that she isn't necessarily acting logically or nicely as well. She could just be to much of a coward to put you down straight.

I am on the outside but I was not at first and after he got to know that I like to be with her he started this whole thing. I also think that they should let me know.
Why do I like her? That is very interesting question. It just works for me. I do not feel any pressure around her and and I feel emotionally balanced . Not too much negativity or positivity just enough. Besides things in common listed above I can not recall any right now.
I would not say I fall in love quite easily. That is it. I can tell exactly why I care about her that much. Hormones play a role here but not a big one I would say and I start to dislike it. I see some parts of what is going on I just do not get it. What else I like. I did not have negative moments with here. Even when in horrible mood she neutralizes it and maybe I want to know how is that because am not like I would feel the urge to get sex from her which makes it even more interesting for me. I think I want or maybe even do not want to know why is that. I started to have this problem because I do not like that Jeff probably does not like her and started to use her to get me angry and I do not believe he has got good intentions. If he loved her then I would be fine. If I did not care about her then it would be I fine too. But for some strange reason I care about her it is not primary because of her body. The more I know her the more I would like to be with her. I came to this conclusion when thinking a lot about that. I do not wish her bad things and I am afraid she is gonna get some from him sooner or later.

I do not want female just for my sexual needs. I want some kind of deep emotional connection. Here is the thing that I somehow do not want to let it go just do not until she tells me she has got a problem with me.
I do also believe that she could be a “coward” because today I was talking to her and. I explained to her that I could not make it in the morning thanks to circumstances and explained to her that I just won’t see if she does not like something and that it is a reason why I asked so much about that. I told her about this like balanced feeling and that I do not know how far I can actually go but said with her I am not afraid to try things that I am not that much used to. Asked her if I can talk to her in the morning she said that it does not bother her but that Jeff maybe would not like it. I told her that she does not have to mind it here that I just do not want to do things she would not like and prevent some misunderstanding when it comes to us. At school today. They were in the hall during the break and I went there was talking to him and he told me to go away. I asked why and he told me that during some situations it is better when I am not there and I wanted him to make some rule to “understand”. I asked her in the afternoon if she did not like it. She said that she did not have a problem with that but Jeff had. I also told her me and Jeff have different and almost completely opposite opinions on certain things. I said I do not like Jeff and that it is not (just which I did not say) because he is around her now that I do not like him since first interaction and that I do not know him that much either. She asked for examples of what I do not like about him and I said that he is Self-centered and wants to be the center of attention and she replayed that he is like that and he will stay like that. I said that I know that and accept that and that I am just saying. I felt also sad when I discovered that she smokes. I felt like everything is telling me I should stop but I just do not want to. I told her that how I feel that today it was like I were told to stop but just do not want to. She was weird and when I asked her what is the matter she said she does not feel good and I asked her if it is physical problem or mental problem. She said rather mental and I asked her if she could tell me and she said she would not like to talk about it and I said it is ok that she needs some time to be alone and you know have a space. I should had been more concrete today I believe. I did not get to the part about lying.
I do not know if I should had understood but I got it like this today: I can do whatever I asked about but maybe I were tactfully told I could get beaten up? Which is fine I am not gonna stop just because he does not like something she is important for me not him.

 

[Cherry Cola]

The emotions you describe sound very much like love to me

That sense of balance you describe and the fact you got sad upon learning that she smokes for instance.. that sense of everything being right when you're with that person and the fact that you do idealize her, else I don't think you'd have been very surprised to see her smoking.

Tbh the girl you're describing also sounds a lot like a sensor type who was curious about you but has moved on to the next thing. I mean the whole thing is weird, I don't buy that Jeffs hanging out with her just to diss you.. it could've started like that but no one cba's to keep up such a charade for too long because it's a lot of work for a little fun, may it be that he's getting more serious about her now? :S

 

[Montresor]

Buddy just fall out of love and back in with a different girl it's actually really easy to do.

 

[HDINTP]

The emotions you describe sound very much like love to me

That sense of balance you describe and the fact you got sad upon learning that she smokes for instance.. that sense of everything being right when you're with that person and the fact that you do idealize her, else I don't think you'd have been very surprised to see her smoking.

Tbh the girl you're describing also sounds a lot like a sensor type who was curious about you but has moved on to the next thing. I mean the whole thing is weird, I don't buy that Jeffs hanging out with her just to diss you.. it could've started like that but no one cba's to keep up such a charade for too long because it's a lot of work for a little fun, may it be that he's getting more serious about her now? :S

He could be more serious now but I do not think so yet. I have a problem realizing that such a "monster" can actually fall in love too. Yeah it is possible...

 

[HDINTP]

Buddy just fall out of love and back in with a different girl it's actually really easy to do.

It usually is easy to fall out of love but not this time however I will try it.

 

[HDINTP]

Buddy just fall out of love and back in with a different girl it's actually really easy to do.

Or it could be sarcasm in that case it would be great but I do not believe so...?

 

[HDINTP]

So today in the morning I went to her and she was waiting for him to come from the gym. It took him a while but he came eventually. All three of us went to school together and he was trying to make me angry. Oh yeah they kissed right before my eyes and holded their hands. So it was obvious to me that they are probably together. I was quite offensive to him because he asked me what I was talking about with my class teacher. I told him to fuck off on the information and that we can't understand well each other. I am going to do something with Thomas and wake up. I will use my time on different things.

I am looking forward to send her to hell becuase she lied to me. Maybe just maybe I should enjoy it if she gets hurt but do not want to. She will have to "rinse in a pool" alone to get it.

 

[Sigastrialomundinjia]

Look. You talk to her.

You tell her that she's the most fascinating human being you have ever come across.

You court her like a man of the olden days.

And, you make a decision.

Do you want to FUCK her or not?

If yes, approach her and ask her the fuck out.

If not, then just crawl into your hole and bleed.

 

[HDINTP]

Look. You talk to her.

You tell her that she's the most fascinating human being you have ever come across.

You court her like a man of the olden days.

And, you make a decision.

Do you want to FUCK her or not?

If yes, approach her and ask her the fuck out.

If not, then just crawl into your hole and bleed.

Wow you sliced it now. Maybe that is what I needed because it made me to make my decision. Thanks.

 

[HDINTP]

I think there are things in my situation that I should seperate because I am not doing exactly what I want to do. So tomorrow I am going to do exactly what comes to my mind. I won't change because of some idiot like him plus possible hurting her. What would I be then...

I think I need to push myself a little bit further. Today I managed the morning but the afternoon was horrible maybe because she was with her female friend there. Yes they are together and no it does not make me mad what does is that she was still able to profoundly lie to me today so I will just ask straight tomorrow. I think that all three involved in the situation think something quite different. I am just going to move and tell what I will feel like telling spontaneously.

If I don't I could regret it later and I do not want to leave next regrets in the past...

What do you think?

 

[HDINTP]

So I am done with this. You helped me to open my eyes so thanks.

 

[Montresor]

yeah he also got banned for being Lyra.

 

[HDINTP]

yeah he also got banned for being Lyra.

Know that

 

[Montresor]

No no I was kidding around he wasn't Lyra it was a bit of a joke I was making.

 

[HDINTP]

No no I was kidding around he wasn't Lyra it was a bit of a joke I was making.

I do not know who it really was I just said I take notice of what you sad btw I am sad now. I could had said things different way I believe but I knew it would not be possible to talk one on one anymore. I came home quite late yesterday. I was just walking my city and memories went through my mind...