What MBTI Type fits this description?

[SJ77]

There probably are some "experts" on the MBTI types out there. I would like to find out what type my mother is. We seem to clash a lot (I am INTP) but after reading several descriptions I do not know her type.

So:

She is a control freak and always wants everything clean and tidy. It is extremely important what others think of her (reputation is very important to her). She hates surprises. Her worst nightmare: Unexpected visitors and the house has not recently been cleaned. She is always on time (mostly too early) and always thinks of the "worst case scenario". She wants to be sure that nothing goes wrong and that she is prepared. Is very easily stressed.
She seems to have this "urge" to help others and cannot take it if her help is not appreciated (so she does things for me, that I didn't ask for and expects appreciation). To me it seems as if she wants to help but she always says that she "has to" do it.
Does not seem to be intelligent (whatever that means). She has difficulties finding logical explanations and very often talks BS. Hates it when people correct her or tell her what to do. Doesn't have any close friends. Seems to be extroverted but occasionaly wants to be alone. She doesn't really have any real hobbies (cleaning, cooking, shopping, tv).

Hope that is enough information. I can add more if necessary.

 

[Dissident]

Her type is definetly MOMY, we all clash with those a lot

You may want to check the ESTJ profile too, just in case.

 

[Jesin]

Actually, I think you should check all the ExxJ profiles. Maybe even all of the profiles.

 

[fullerene]

actually that sounds a lot like my mom, who's an ISTJ. Some more information would (of course) be helpful though. In my case, she parents me the way a parent "should," in her eyes, whether I want her to or not. Although I would normally think that not using logic and caring what other people think/about reputation is an F trait, I know that ISTJs can be sticklers for tradition, so if something's "always been done" one way, (I at least can't make) any argument strong enough to convince her there's a better way to go about things. Things got kind of extreme before she backed off.

The fact that she "needs to be alone" even sometimes says "introvert" to me, because introversion was (/is) strongly discouraged as unnatural... at least it was in my childhood. I've read it was worse in the past, so she's probably an introvert who's been raised to be social. Introversion at its heart is getting your energy from being alone. If she's around people a lot, and often stressed/drained, she's probably a social introvert.

My suggestion? I would check out ISFJs... ISTJ as a backup. I'd be like 85% sure she's an SJ from what you told me there, and maybe 65-70% an I. The T/F I can't tell from the information there.

 

[murkrow]

Where are you guys getting T?

Seems like ISFJ or ESFJ to me.

 

[fullerene]

yeah... you know what, you're absolutely right. I think I was confusing some J preferences for T ones... there's nothing in there to suggest a T at all, haha.

Sorry... revising that then. ISFJ all the way.

 

[Ermine]

Sounds ISFJ to me.

 

[Perseus]

Classic Camelhead. ESFJ malignant variant.
In the Millon overlay it is a subgroup, Anti-Social/Narc Reputation defending.

These people are a menace if put in positions of power. Would you put a Camel in charge of anything? They are beasts of burden who want to run free.

Strong characteristics of Camelheads:

1) Tells small white lies without feeling guilty in the short term.

2) Gets irritable "the hump"

3) Not very criticial and believes unreliable authority rather than self perception of things.

Ther are lots more about these people. Runaway as fast as you can. Or, at least, ignore most of the snortings.

 

[Perseus]

On reflection, under intimidation these sometimes transform to ISFJ Mouse or something in between. People can fed up with the irritability after awhile. The ESFJ non-malignant is the Horse (without the irritability) but stubborn, instrangient and lots of features the INTP Eagle would actually find irritating if he bothered to notice.

ISFJ can be Poison Pen but these are the old fashioned wives of the Conservatives, and will tend to gossip. The in-between animal has not been chosen. Maybe, you have suggestions? Their intuition is poor, they don't think, judge before the information is available, and after awhile they get found out and their extraversion changes to introversion. They may have been exuberant once, but they become tight-lipped. If they support feminism (by an error of judgement) they can become very hurtful to their Guardian SJ husband.

They can typically be found as sales people and they are stupid enough to sell duff products without realising they are conning the customer. Or as a secretary (when they were pretty) to a dodgy firm.

If they are on a gossip wheel, the saying is "put a peg in it" referring to putting a peg in the Hamster wheel.

This animal is not the ISFJ/ISTJ: Rat
The Rat is a bit cleverer.

Sometimes, these animals get rounded and tubby if they do not have a Bully ESTJ hubby.

Animal type, thinking of a giant furry rodent like a Beaver (I may have allocated this wrongly to ENFJ; another change to find an animal for ENFJ!?) or if prickly a Hedgehog, or if stout in build the Capybara.

 

[SJ77]

Thanks for the answers so far.

More:
She is very intolerant and always thinks that "her" way of doing something is best. (If things don't get done "her" way, then she gets irritable, but then again she hates getting questioned on how something "should" get done.)
Does not have much self confidence. Loves planning ahead. Mostly she is not stubborn and likes changes. Is easily convinced (especially by commercials this is the case).
Sort of conservative. She often puts others first and herself last.

She seems to be XXFJ.

 

[Perseus]

Another quote is "what the Dickens is going on?"

This refer to the intolerance part where Others are banished or banned by the ISFJ. Intuition is low. The only question is on the E-I scale.

Planning ahead is S but not strongly so, from memory.

 

[Wisp]

ISFJ.

 

[fullerene]

SJ, http://personalitydesk.com/blog/24/mbti-myers-briggs-extroversion-introversion/ ought to help you figure out whether she's an introvert or extrovert. Like it says in the first line, it's the most misunderstood of any of the mbti preference scales. She sounds ISFJ to me, but I'm not going off of a lot of information for that. If you're still not sure, that ought to help you narrow it down.

 

[SJ77]

Ok, thanks for that link.

Now I am very sure that she is ISFJ.

I just read some stuff about INTP vs. ISFJ and yes...definitly she is ISFJ.
This is not good

 

[fullerene]

well... the best "general" advice I think there is is that you are not a type. Types will often help you root out others' "instinctual reactions," but since there's nothing demanding we follow our instincts, it's not like there's no hope for getting along if your types are in conflict.

It may also help (if the description fits her that well) to get her to take an mbti test, and when she turns out isfj show her an especially fitting description so she knows it's legitimate. Then let her know you're an intp, and have her read one of those so she knows that not everyone thinks like her. You could even point out a bunch of the conflict areas, if she's aware how much you guys frustrate each other.

Understanding is the first step towards acceptance...

 

[Jesin]

I second what cryptonia said, because it's basically what I was going to say.

 

[SJ77]

Thanks for the advice. But I don't think that she would ever take a MBTI test. And if she does, she won't take it seriously.
She will probably think, that the description of "her" type is rubbish, because she doesn't seem to realize how she treats others, which means that she thinks she is doing everything right and never makes mistakes.
I think, that she is unable to see her own personality.

Today I was home the whole day - while she worked - and forgot to get the mail. She was so mad at me when she came home from work

 

[fullerene]

hmm... do you have any siblings (or better yet, a father) that you're on decent terms with? If she's that upset at you and won't respect it if you give it to her, perhaps one of them could help you out and get her to do it with them? Then they can call you over and ask you to take it, you can say you already have and you're an INTP, and have whoever your third person is pull up the profile. At the end of it just be like "wow... ok that's really good... in fact I think I can see why we [mom and you] don't seem to undrstand each other very well." It should bring the problems out into the open, prove to her that the profile fits you (because you do actually think about connections and concepts like it says INTPs do), and hopefully bring you on the same page.

Most MBTI profiles are written with pretty heavy emphasis on what's good about the type. I know at least the first time I read an INTP one, my first reaction was "what's wrong with that? That's awesome!" I had to stop and digest it for a few days before all the horrible things between the cracks hit me. My brother (ENFP) did the same.... except of course he didn't realize the problems until he started talking about MBTI with people. My mom (ISTJ) thought it was pretty good, but since it had no practical application just kinda ignored it. Only my dad (ENTJ) didn't think it was very good. I think it's worth a try if she's ISFJ... only 1/4 of our very diverse types didn't like the restults.

If nothing else... would it make things any worse?

 

[Jesin]

If nothing else... would it make things any worse?

It could. That plan you described is a bit dishonest, and sometimes when people find out they were "set up", any chance for real communication goes right out the window. They shouldn't pretend they didn't know that he had already taken it. That just makes it look like the family is conspiring against her.

 

[fullerene]

hmm... you're exactly right. This is about how things would be done in my family... but it's rather foolish to suggest it elsewhere. By all means, make it work in your situation, however that is. The main thing to remember I think is that it's not a "you vs. her" kind of thing. If you have other family members who are at least trying to keep peace between you, they could probably help by offering credibility (in your mom's eyes) to the MBTI, which does a pretty good job (I think) of predicting friction points between these two types.

 

[SJ77]

Ok, so I got her to take the test...ISFJ.

Told her that I'm INTP. But I think that the descriptions of the 2 types that she read were really bad. By INTP she said: "All men are like that" and by ISFJ: "That could be anyone."

I've googled myself already, but have not found really good descriptions on the types.
Does anyone know any good descriptions or should I just try searching again?

My father also took the test, but the result (INTP) was imo not correct. There were 2 other people watching him and my mother was often "correcting" his answers. He is probably ISTJ or ISTP.
I have a twin brother, who is definitly INTP - just like me (that's a lot of stress for an ISFJ mother...)
And then another brother who is like E??J.

And btw: thanks for all the help so far <3

 

[Jesin]

You tried typelogic.com?

Well, for an INTP description, did you try the one at
http://intp.org/intprofile.html
?

I don't know where you would find a good ISFJ description.

But no, the test is certainly not made to be taken with someone else "correcting" the answers over your shoulder. Could you explain that to your parents, maybe?

 

[fullerene]

agreed... there's absolutely no way the test works if someone is telling you how you are.

but on the other hand, wow that's very... telling. The exclamation "this could be anyone" by itself pretty much demands two things: One is that it fits her very well. Two is that she thinks everyone is like her. I know the ISFJ description doesn't fit me... and I'm sure it doesn't fit you either... so it's obviously not that vague. Then the fact that "all men are like this," along with the fact that her corrections led your dad to INTP, likely means that she really does see people how she wants to, regardless of who they are.

...but telling her that would likely lead to bad things... ya know, global apocalypse... extinction of the dinosaurs... ugly stuff.


I'm with Jesin though... typelogic is probably the best, found at http://typelogic.com/isfj.html
That INTP one he gave is also I think the best on the web. On the other hand, man you're lucky to have an INTP brother

 

[Jesin]

And once again, cryptonia posts my idea before I get around to it.

 

[fullerene]

What can you do... I'm inside your head
<------ reminds me of solid snake getting caught for some reason

 

[SJ77]

Thanks for those links.

It's nice that my brother is also INTP (we really understand eachother). But occasionaly we do argue, which is probably normal.

 

[Decaf]

Have you shown her the bit about how INTPs and ISFJs can sometimes conflict? It seems to me that she lives a very contentious lifestyle and would probably recognize it quickly. There's nothing like making a believer than describing their life in all its hideous glory.

 

[asdfasdfasdfsdf]

There probably are some "experts" on the MBTI types out there. I would like to find out what type my mother is. We seem to clash a lot (I am INTP) but after reading several descriptions I do not know her type.

So:

She is a control freak and always wants everything clean and tidy. It is extremely important what others think of her (reputation is very important to her). She hates surprises. Her worst nightmare: Unexpected visitors and the house has not recently been cleaned. She is always on time (mostly too early) and always thinks of the "worst case scenario". She wants to be sure that nothing goes wrong and that she is prepared. Is very easily stressed.
She seems to have this "urge" to help others and cannot take it if her help is not appreciated (so she does things for me, that I didn't ask for and expects appreciation). To me it seems as if she wants to help but she always says that she "has to" do it.
Does not seem to be intelligent (whatever that means). She has difficulties finding logical explanations and very often talks BS. Hates it when people correct her or tell her what to do. Doesn't have any close friends. Seems to be extroverted but occasionaly wants to be alone. She doesn't really have any real hobbies (cleaning, cooking, shopping, tv).

Hope that is enough information. I can add more if necessary.

you and me have the same mother.

 

[Adymus]

She is a control freak and always wants everything clean and tidy.

SJ

It is extremely important what others think of her (reputation is very important to her).

Fe

She hates surprises. Her worst nightmare: Unexpected visitors and the house has not recently been cleaned.

Fe

She is always on time (mostly too early) and always thinks of the "worst case scenario". She wants to be sure that nothing goes wrong and that she is prepared. Is very easily stressed.

J, and the Stress part sounds like and Fe dominant

She seems to have this "urge" to help others and cannot take it if her help is not appreciated (so she does things for me, that I didn't ask for and expects appreciation). To me it seems as if she wants to help but she always says that she "has to" do it.

So Fe it's not even funny.

Does not seem to be intelligent (whatever that means). She has difficulties finding logical explanations and very often talks BS. Hates it when people correct her or tell her what to do. Doesn't have any close friends. Seems to be extroverted but occasionaly wants to be alone. She doesn't really have any real hobbies (cleaning, cooking, shopping, tv).

Say no more, that last one was a bomb shell, you should have said all that from that start. She is Clearly an ESFJ.

She is your opposite type, your shadow, there is no question as to why you butt heads.

EDIT: The test was wrong, she is totally an ESFJ.

 

[echoplex]

xSFJ, but I doubt the OP is reading this anymore. Old thread is old.