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what is the difference between adult and children

sushi

Active Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2013
Messages
290
#1
I have witness many times adults and people who reached age maturity are in fact more stupid than children and young people. The line has become increasingly blurred.

For instance, adults fight over things like how to get favor from opposite sex and better status, the same thing children in playground do. In child's case, Children wants a friend to like them more over another person. Some adults when angry lose rationality and engage in violence over petty issues, especially in drinking bars. adults also engage in bullying over people weaker then them.

In boxing fights, people still think strength and the bigger fist can resolve everything, thats like the schoolyard bully mentality.

i used to think when people lived long enough, they should accumulate some wisdom and not act dumb. But apparently, i witnessed some very stupid people at 40s or even old people.

maybe i havent become a parent or have kids, the experience might change my views.
 
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#2
I think this is one of those fundamental truths that everyone comes to realise at some point. The adults don’t know anything. It’s all something we’re led to believe when we’re children to keep us in line and keep the hierarchy alive.

I read recently somewhere, and I’ll have to paraphrase:
Adults are just children + experience.
 

The Grey Man

Active Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
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Canada
#3
Both are enthralled by fantasies. Adults are more mature in the sense that they're capable of reproduction and have fantasies that are more "useful", more conducive to rewards which have been evolutionarily conditioned to arise from favourable conditions for the propagation of their genes. Some try to get rid of their fantasies and become "wise" and some of these suffer for it. Some don't and some of these do not suffer for it. I'm just about fed up with chasing the mirage that is "wisdom". Ignorance is bliss. This quotation from the New Testament, the moral of Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale "The Snow Queen", encapsulates my skepticism of the preeminence of both adulthood and wisdom pretty well:

"Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matthew 18:3)
But I'm sure my worldview will have radically changed again by this time tomorrow. Visions of an abdication of duty haunt me, and hold me back from embracing childlike naïveté. So the pendulum swings back again to rigid Apollonian rationalism :storks:
 
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Serac

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#4
As the brain starts do degarde in terms of performane in one's late 20's, one has to start relying on abstractions, simplified truths. By the time you're 40, if you had the wrong ideas in your youth, it is quite improbable you'll ever be "wise".
 
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Jan 1, 2009
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#5
Even if you think adults tend to be stupid, children are even stupider. Of course there's the occasional child who is very alert and introspective and reflect on stuff grownups often don't, but generally stupid adults were more stupid as kids.

You could also argue that even when adults behave childish, the reasoning for being so might be a tad more complex and/ or differ from when they were children. So they might have matured intellectually, but not emotionally. They have developed their understanding, but not how they process and relate to their own feelings. Which is to be expected as knowing how to cope with your feels and express them have to be learned to a large degree, and if your parents were shit at it, chances are you are as well. It's not something the average person learns how to do, and thus some might turn to silent treatment or passive aggressiveness, and stuff like that.

I do get the impression people just stop maturing much at various ages, though. Like some will develop their personality and views until they turn around 22, then just kinda "stop". Which I don't think it's just an intelligence thing, it's probably more so an interest thing. If you have an interest in learning more, being open to new perspectives and even seek new impulses and insight, you'll probably wise up more than some intelligent guy who never really explore outside his comfort zone and have no interest in understanding and exploring new topics.

But yeah, all adults have their biases, flaws and bad habits, then ofc some have more so than others, and it even varies depending on where you are in life.

Not all stupidity is just stupidity, though. Some people act out when they are in a bad place and do stupid shit. Well, I guess you can define that within the realms of stupidity, but I think if you get too focused on someone is being an ass and not why, then you're losing out on useful and important info.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
7,583
#6
Happy said:
I think this is one of those fundamental truths that everyone comes to realise at some point. The adults don’t know anything. It’s all something we’re led to believe when we’re children to keep us in line and keep the hierarchy alive.

I read recently somewhere, and I’ll have to paraphrase:
Adults are just children + experience.
My personal take on it would be: Adults are just children + trauma.

In my experience people who are most closed-minded are most indignant about being told when they're wrong, likely because they've been humiliated/traumatized by being wrong in the past and someone poisoned them with the notion that being wrong makes them stupid therefore they must do their utmost to never be wrong.

I call people stupid when they won't change their mind in spite of the evidence, it's entirely different because when I call them stupid they actually are being stupid.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
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#7
why are we generalizing about adults and children? I think the word we are looking for is "maturity".

Children as blank slates can be both mean AND kind (depending on situation) -- mostly because they are straightforward. They don't know anything, they're just responding to what is around them.

Some people learn from life as they age and thus they mature; others do not (and/or insist on controlling things for their own benefit without respect for others who are in the same boat as them).

There's no special virtue in being young or old; the virtue rests in how you respond to your life experience and what your ultimate aims are. It's not entirely a pure process because we are also shaped unconsciously by our environment (and born into a social framework we did not choose that shapes us as well), but it's more about the arrow of your narrative --> where it is going, velocity and angle, so to speak. You can control that to some degree.

But yes, ultimately we're all just "human beings" and time is an incremental continuum on which we've created some arbitrary brackets but we're all really on the same timeline, child or adult.
 
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
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3,608
#8
I guess we could talk in terms of maturity. But, when talking about children vs adults, we are inevitably dealing with the judgment and freedom of children. If we start talking about how children are as or more mature than some adults, we'll run into problems regarding children right to vote, drink, smoke or have sexual relations with adults.

Children do not have the same judgment abilities as adults. Some adults will always lack in judgment and taking advantage of them is like exploiting children. But that's a much more difficult case to prove and argue for, than protecting children because they are young and inexperienced. I know that's not the argument you were arguing for, jenny, I'm just saying our attitudes toward children very easily lead to other questions about what they can and should be able to do. Wait, i think that gave the wrong impression. Not attitude, but wording. And even though I'm not a fan of limiting and cuddling kids, I do recognize the lack of experience and understanding in kids will make them more prone to bad decisions.

I think even people in their early 20s have limited experience and perspective, most of the time. They might not be stupid, but they often don't understand to what degree someone can be shitty and manipulative, or to what degree bad decision can limit their life.
 

HDINTP

Well-Known Member
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Dec 26, 2011
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In my own world
#9
As the brain starts do degarde in terms of performane in one's late 20's, one has to start relying on abstractions, simplified truths. By the time you're 40, if you had the wrong ideas in your youth, it is quite improbable you'll ever be "wise".

In terms of Late 20's what do you mean towards end of late or already say 26...?:desire:
 
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#10
all the fun things are socially acceptable for children but not for adults
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
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#13
I guess we could talk in terms of maturity. But, when talking about children vs adults, we are inevitably dealing with the judgment and freedom of children. If we start talking about how children are as or more mature than some adults, we'll run into problems regarding children right to vote, drink, smoke or have sexual relations with adults.

Children do not have the same judgment abilities as adults. Some adults will always lack in judgment and taking advantage of them is like exploiting children. But that's a much more difficult case to prove and argue for, than protecting children because they are young and inexperienced. I know that's not the argument you were arguing for, jenny, I'm just saying our attitudes toward children very easily lead to other questions about what they can and should be able to do. Wait, i think that gave the wrong impression. Not attitude, but wording. And even though I'm not a fan of limiting and cuddling kids, I do recognize the lack of experience and understanding in kids will make them more prone to bad decisions.

I think even people in their early 20s have limited experience and perspective, most of the time. They might not be stupid, but they often don't understand to what degree someone can be shitty and manipulative, or to what degree bad decision can limit their life.
I don't have a problem with what you say here. I was focused on a different piece of the elephant, so I hope I got across my point there -- but of course life experience plays a part in things. In a certain area of life, maybe someone younger will possess more maturity than an older person, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are equipped to properly deal with that area yet.

It's confusing because there are various things that do and don't come with age depending on the individual. Some people have good life experience but shitty discernment. Some people don't want to learn some things but do pick up on other things. Some people learn useful lessons to run their own lives but have no clue how to productively interact with others -- they are "self-wise" but not as "other-wise." You can be really smart but inexperienced (the difference between intelligence and wisdom, generally). The capacity to learn, the opportunity to learn, and the willingness to learn are all different things.

It's hard to parent sometimes. One thing that amazed me raising kids (despite the fact I was also once a kid) was how smart my kids were at a younger age than I expected... even at age 3-4. It was like, "Holy hell, they can process that to that degree?" But with that also came the realization that they weren't yet wise, as they didn't have experience in applying the knowledge and thinking with a sense of what the result would be. Since I don't even feel like I have my life together, even with them in their 20's now, I am sometimes torn about how to be most helpful to them. Mainly just listening, then sharing experiences I've had and/or insights for them to either take or leave. They are pretty capable people, they just haven't accumulated as much experience to recognize how certain decisions are likely to pan out yet...

Probably veering off the discussion a bit there... but maybe not? There is wisdom and experience and openness I think in becoming an adult. A willingness to engage the world/experience and others rather than to simply deny or dominate it...?
 

HDINTP

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Dec 26, 2011
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563
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#14
Actually it seems the peak is in fact in your late teens, about 18.

But it's more complicated than that. See e.g. http://www.businessinsider.com/smar...-math-vocabulary-memory-2017-7?r=US&IR=T&IR=T

Ah, so it's great from my point of view. I had thread something like: "How much cognitive ablities do we lose over time as we age" and that was around when I got over my "panic because of cognitive abilities decline" and this article you put here actually calmed me down even more..." So thanks for both - reply/participation and Totally calming my fears down...
 

sushi

Active Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2013
Messages
290
#15
some things my parents "teach" me that turn out to be wrong:

the world is a fair place (not really)
there is clear right and wrong
authority is good and fair/just, there is some adult referee to trust
authority doesn't abuse their power
alot of people are self centered, if not jerks, and will step over you to get what they want (they omitted and left this one out)


then there is the problem of hypocrisy and double standards.

I think this is one of those fundamental truths that everyone comes to realise at some point. The adults don’t know anything. It’s all something we’re led to believe when we’re children to keep us in line and keep the hierarchy alive.

I read recently somewhere, and I’ll have to paraphrase:
Adults are just children + experience.
I couldn't agree more with this. I felt like I've been trolled.
 
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Animekitty

World A.I. transfomantion is Near
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#16
I made a thread on how I was pretty much a wallflower in high school and did not know how to take care of myself socially (why I had the breakdown after graduation). Some kids just know how to put themselves out there and go get what they want but not me. It is the reason I have no friends. I am not saying I have no social intelligence but I am saying I lack cognitive empathy which is the ability to predict what others will do. I have intuitive empathy which means I can tell unconsciously the kind of person you are. And what your personality is. (unrelated to MBTI) But not much I can do with this feeling I get from the other person because it is not based on actions but core being. Social intelligence I would say is seeing behaviors and predicting the way a person is from that and plenty of kids do this way better than I do it. And that is why I fail at social stuff because I usually detect in their personality that we are not compatible. I do not just engage with people. A socially intelligent person will love talking and being friends with anyone because they base everything on learning behaviors. I am a wallflower and I can only be around a certain group of types of persons and I am not actively looking or people to interact with. So like I said people that go for it and get what they want in life are active socially and they seem to be smarter as kids or adults. I see them on youtube a lot. They are go-getters.

edit

With more clarification when I say I can understand personality it is a feeling tone that resonates with my personal value set. So it is more of an agreeableness detection which means that if we have strong views we cannot become angry people disagree with us. Reactivity is the word, I look for low reactivity. And also since cooperation is good so trust is high more can be said more can be expressed. The look in the eyes is non-judgmental. It is reading emotions of people on how far you can go with them. It is my trust meter. I see someone roll their eyes I know what I said can no longer be said. You can do this with active engagement I just know the first time what will happen from body language and voice tone. Emotions let me know trust. An active person will build up experienced interactions with people as a panorama of what they are like. Like I said they are predicting them. I just know their emotional state and decide how to interact with them nothing to do with knowing what they will do but the right way to engage them. I need to find out how far they are trustable because I am very lonely.
 
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Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
9
#18
Childhood to adulthood is just a smooth continuous gradient. I wouldn't know where to draw the line. The difference I come up with is I find kids are more forgivable than adults.

Also, are we using our own brain's capacity to evaluate others? I find it's often not productive to even guess at it. It's better to clarify their perspective, and fully grasp how they reason their beliefs, and even more important to do the same with our own.

Some people use a little too much of the brain's time and resources convincing themselves that other people are less intelligent than they are. Time that is better spent reading and sharpening their own skills.

Though I will admit that many people's beliefs can be frustrating.
 

Kuu

Uplifted lobster
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the metaverse
#19
But with that also came the realization that they weren't yet wise, as they didn't have experience in applying the knowledge and thinking with a sense of what the result would be.
They are pretty capable people, they just haven't accumulated as much experience to recognize how certain decisions are likely to pan out yet...
In relation to that, I'd say that a defining difference from a child and an adult is that the adult truly gets responsability for self / the consequence of their actions. Children lack long-term thinking therefore lack capacity to even fathom long-term consequences.
 

sushi

Active Member
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Aug 15, 2013
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#20
In relation to that, I'd say that a defining difference from a child and an adult is that the adult truly gets responsability for self / the consequence of their actions. Children lack long-term thinking therefore lack capacity to even fathom long-term consequences.
you are dumped on the streets to survive on your own and you still have to face consequence.

the adult world is fucked.