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what ever happened to fun?

shoeless

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i mean come on, i enjoy an intellectual discussion here and there too, but i also need to get out and DO something with people sometimes. it's hard to imagine a fulfilled life without friends and uninhibited fun-having, regardless of how "stupid"/senseless it is.

it seems to me that a lot of INTP's get way too caught up in the internet and the search for people who "understand" them, people who are their "intellectual equals" and blah blah blah. i don't claim to be an INTP at all, but i went through my phase of ultra-withdrawal where i never socialized at all (because my head was too stuck up my own ass in the search for
intellectual" friends) and i was fucking miserable. i've been seeing that in a lot of people here.

i understand that a lot of people do simply enjoy being alone and thinking/discussing concepts and whatever, but even the biggest introvert needs to socialize sometimes, without being tied down to all this "intellectual" bullshit. why do so many people shun simple fun?

i'd rather be happy and having fun with nice people who are "stupid" than cold and depressed discussing existential philosophies with intelligent people who are maybe just a little bit elitist (and with elitism often comes a mean spirit. often.)

anyway, i dunno, i'm rambling. i am fully aware that a lot of people are going to get defensive about this, and that's fine. it's just something to think about.

i was never happy until i put myself out there.

just something to think about.

you might not even be an INTP.
 

Inappropriate Behavior

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I usually fight posts along this vein but I actually concur with this one more or less. Everyone should go out and get their stupid on at a semi-regular basis. It's great stress relief. Even if it's not your idea of fun, it's a change from your normal life setting. Experience is just as valuable as learning through conventional means.
 

Oblivious

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I SUMMON THE MIGHTY BAHAMUT TO INCINERATE EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD DUDE!!

Now when I get the urge to post on a religion thread I just go play my guitar. I've been finding some very awesome sheets lately.
 

Minuend

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Is it really that many INTPs who don't go out because of that? I get the impression most isolate themselves because they have some sort of a mental problem. After a while, some might start to lie to themselves, saying that they don't need others. More to protect themselves than anything else, I'd think.

*Summons Valefor and is protected against incineration*
 

Melllvar

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Why does fun have to include other people? Being around other people is so not really that much fun. It seems like it is at first, but then you just end up getting on each others nerves once you get to know each other well. People need to take each other in small doses.

I try to split my time between being a nerd and drinking while playing video games. It seems like a good balance. Other people mostly just make things complicated.

Also I resent the insinuation that loners have mental problems. We've just broken the addiction of needless social interaction.
 

Words

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@Shoeless

Ok. First of all, "fun socialization" and "intellectual discussions" are not mutually exclusive. ["Fun" and "Intellectual" is relative.]

This relates to my own life somewhat. I actually do try to lighten up and have "fun" but it never "did" it for me, it is fun in its own ways but I guess my own sense of humor has grown in a very eccentric way causing a low possibility of "hours of laughing with someone". But that's not really my point. My point is that you can laugh[generally considered "fun"] within discussions.

Discussions--at least great ones---are free-spirited environmental arenas for creativity. This opens up a vast variety of interruptions to freely propagate humor within that same "supposed intellectual" social environment.

But I agree---if I'm receiving your point correctly---with forums not being a very sufficient source for socialization. Intellectual, it may be. I think its pretty evident. There are no "signals", no "psychological stuff stuff" resulting into an inefficient human growth. Instead however, I recommend real life discussions. :)
 

Minuend

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Noooo, Fukyo, we are trying to make such things uncool so that the INTPs will go out more!

Also I resent the insinuation that loners have mental problems. We've just broken the addiction of needless social interaction.
I said "most" and "isolation". That isn't the same as "all" and "needless interaction".
 

snafupants

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shoeless - "i'd rather be happy and having fun with nice people who are "stupid" than cold and depressed discussing existential philosophies with intelligent people who are maybe just a little bit elitist (and with elitism often comes a mean spirit. often.)"

After years of doing both, the latter at least allows the retention of some shred of self respect in the mornings. Elitist, call it whatever you want but people organize among interests, interests which are informed by intelligence sometimes. Going out the other night was as painful as ever. The conversations revolved around other people endlessly questioning my lifestyle, drinking, sexual exploits, and crap movies. It would be wildly masochistic to do this every night or, for that matter, every weekend. Literally, there was wincing at some of the questions that were asked me - of course, not to their faces - the golf ball sized consciousnesses would not submit to any hows or whys.

n.b., Some of the nicest people in the world are what you might call elitists. To imply most elitists, or what you would deem elitists, are mean spirited is a brainless comment.
 

Words

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After years of doing both, the latter at least allows the retention of some shred of self respect in the mornings. Elitist, call it whatever you want but people organize among interests, interests which are informed by intelligence sometimes. Going out the other night was as painful as ever. The conversations revolved around other people endlessly questioning my lifestyle, drinking, sexual exploits, and crap movies. It would be wildly masochistic to do this every night or, for that matter, every weekend. Literally, there was wincing at some of the questions that were asked me - of course, not to their faces - the golf ball sized consciousnesses would not submit to any hows or whys.
The idea of segregation saddens me but it really seems inevitable, doesn't it? I tried to incorporate my group of nerdy friends to these "party-individuals". It did not work. The weight of topics inevitably lead to secluded and separate discussions.

I wish I could adapt but I just "like" my stuff. Is this a hopeless case?

Similarity is familiarity and familiarity is connection.
 

snafupants

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The idea of segregation saddens me but it really seems inevitable, doesn't it? I tried to incorporate my group of nerdy friends to these "party-individuals". It did not work. The weight of topics inevitably lead to secluded and separate discussions.

I wish I could adapt but I just "like" my stuff. Is this a hopeless case?

Similarity is familiarity and familiarity is connection.
Agreed. There was no similarity at all, so nothing got off the ground. A dog can only be kicked so many times before he tries something else, some other means of acquiring food. There was a lot of pain and embarrassment on my end, made worse by a tremendous amount of pity for these people. They have the consciousness and curiosity of twelve year olds. The saddest part was that they were happy.
 

terraxceles

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I will leave you with this comment someone made on my blog about this very topic:

I love both, serious + fun discussions. But only with a maximum of 4-6 friends...not more. And to be honest, one day if I am on my deathbed and I try to revive old memories...it would be the fun crappy ones before the serious and philosophical ones (Not saying that serious ones are worthless or useless, just saying that fun ones are more memorable). You only have life...do your best to make most of it.
Made me rethink a large portion of my life.
 

Ermine

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I agree that one needs a balance of "mindless" and "mindful" activities. I wish I figured this out sooner. There have been times where I turned down fun social activities on intellectual ground.

But at the same time, these categories can combine. For me, researching various topics on the internet in my room is fun. But swing dancing is also a lot of fun, though it isn't intellectually stimulating. I think it's a matter of knowing what your priorities are/should be and acting accordingly.
 

typus

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Why not make socializing with what some people here like to call 'the retards' or 'the hoi polloi' an intellectual exercise? You know, first you figure out the rules and from there try different approaches to manipulating and changing the system, finding loopholes, experimenting to see what kind of reactions it gets. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
 

Melllvar

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I've been trying that my entire life. It doesn't work, and it isn't fun.
 

yes

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i'd rather be happy and having fun with nice people who are "stupid"
I find it interesting that your view has changed to this ^ from holding Adymus' quote "they are still fucking Mormons!" as your signature.

I agree that one needs a balance of "mindless" and "mindful" activities.
Collect as many people as you can and watch the movie "Killer Condom" if you want a dose of mindless entertainment. YouTube- Killer Condom Trailer :o
 

Anthile

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Collect as many people as you can and watch the movie "Killer Condom" if you want a dose of mindless entertainment. YouTube- Killer Condom Trailer :o

I actually watched that movie a long time ago. Mainly because I thought the TV guide was fucking with me. It's just gross and not very entertaining at all.
 

EyeSeeCold

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The fun that everyone wants us to have is impersonal and widely distributed. I don't like having fun with a large number of people because you can't connect with anyone. My idea of senseless fun would involve at most two other people because then I could share every moment with them, any more people and it's just a draining activity that doesn't do anything for me. With no one to connect to, I can and will easily fall back into detachment.

Asking me to have impersonal fun for the sake of curing my "INTP disease" is like me asking an ESFP to have a intellectual discussion to cure its shallowness.
 

typus

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The fun that everyone wants us to have is impersonal and widely distributed. I don't like having fun with a large number of people because you can't connect with anyone. My idea of senseless fun would involve at most two other people because then I could share every moment with them, any more people and it's just a draining activity that doesn't do anything for me. With no one to connect to, I can and will easily fall back into detachment.

Asking me to have impersonal fun for the sake of curing my "INTP disease" is like me asking an ESFP to have a intellectual discussion to cure its shallowness.
If you do it the right way it is very relieving to do... well, anything with a large crowd. I suppose this comes from us being social creatures, doing what the herd does. It feels great to let the I and the You disappear - and be lost in the we...
 

yes

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The fun that everyone wants us to have is impersonal
It can be very personal. I've caught midnight shows at the movie theater and even though I went with my sister, the whole audience were sharing laughs... Everybody was having a good time and there wasn't anything draining about it because the movie did all the work. We connected by us all busting a gut or being shocked at the same jokes. It's like going out to watch fireworks on new years eve, you don't know everybody but your all experiencing something new together and like typus said "and be lost in the we". :)
 

EyeSeeCold

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Well I do enjoy a large crowd, such as a riot or a mob, but I'm talking about a group just large enough to where there are fleeting conversations and you become self-aware. As long as the activity can keep me stimulated I don't mind the psychological distance from everyone else.
 

Ermine

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The fun that everyone wants us to have is impersonal and widely distributed. I don't like having fun with a large number of people because you can't connect with anyone. My idea of senseless fun would involve at most two other people because then I could share every moment with them, any more people and it's just a draining activity that doesn't do anything for me. With no one to connect to, I can and will easily fall back into detachment.

Asking me to have impersonal fun for the sake of curing my "INTP disease" is like me asking an ESFP to have a intellectual discussion to cure its shallowness.
Agreed. There has to be a smaller subset of friends, or there's no point in being there.
 

ohrtonz

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Im hesitant to act silly and have fun because people dont understand me and think Im wierd. Even though its the same behavior they do when drunk. And when you get drunk you do it to have fun and be stupid sooo I really don't understand why I can't just be silly and stupid by choice.
 

TheHmmmm

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*Raises finger to the heavens*

I SUMMON THE MIGHTY BAHAMUT TO INCINERATE EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD DUDE!!

Now when I get the urge to post on a religion thread I just go play my guitar. I've been finding some very awesome sheets lately.
Since when was bahamut in the heavens?
 

Vegard Pompey

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Well, in my case, I'm not really an asocial elitist intellectual asshole entirely by choice. For a year now I've been trying to get closer to my classmates, to become 'one of them'. But when I try to have some casual conversation that isn't about some esoteric subject that I adore, I can't seem to find anything to say. I would love to socialize with people whom I can be myself around, but when I say what's on my mind, people look at me in confusion.

On a Friday evening this summer, I was sitting at home and writing, when my oldest brother called me and invited me to some party somewhere. I kept saying no, but he insisted, to the point of calling me several times, and even having another brother of mine call me, and eventually I gave up.

I got there and there were a bunch of men, most of them in their late twenties to early forties, sitting in a crowded couch, watching football and drinking beer. I was bored out of my mind at first, but after some bloody mary, the subject of the conversation changed to art, philosophy, racism, politics and male genitalia. I had a good time, and if socialization could be like this always, I would go for it.
 

Minuend

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Bah, the summonings in FF13 are lame. They don't arrive in that awesome way, and they look like plastic transformers.

Summonings have always been a favorite part of the FFs for me. It was a real let down =<
 

Anthile

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Latro

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This is one area, socially, where I think I do fairly well, when I get around to socializing at all. Usually when hanging out, especially in larger groups (as in, 4-8 people instead of 2-3, not like 15+) I let loose a bit and just act silly in general. While there is something to be said for serious conversation, I don't care all that much about it anymore. (Not that I just reject it or anything, but if I were to go hunting for interaction, I'd go hunting for silly interaction before serious interaction.) Perhaps that's a fault.
 

snafupants

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Why not make socializing with what some people here like to call 'the retards' or 'the hoi polloi' an intellectual exercise? You know, first you figure out the rules and from there try different approaches to manipulating and changing the system, finding loopholes, experimenting to see what kind of reactions it gets. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Thats definitely an a priori theory that gets owned by reality.
 

Cavallier

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I have no trouble finding people to "hang out" with and I do so on a fairly regular basis but I'm not going to deny that I do get bored quickly. I turn down about half of the social gatherings I'm invited to because I'd rather have fun at home with a video game or read a book.

shoeless said:
it seems to me that a lot of INTP's get way too caught up in the internet and the search for people who "understand" them, people who are their "intellectual equals" and blah blah blah.
I think it's little arrogant all these assumptions. INTPs are not the social outcasts that even we bill ourselves as.

shoeless said:
i don't claim to be an INTP at all, but i went through my phase of ultra-withdrawal where i never socialized at all (because my head was too stuck up my own ass in the search for intellectual" friends) and i was fucking miserable.


Sounds like a personal problem. I prefer having a nice mix of both intellectual and less intellectually oriented "friends". <---That's me being truthful to myself. You may have been miserable because you weren't being true to yourself. It's nice to know you think that being an INTP equals going through "ultra-withdrawal" from socialization.:rolleyes:
 

shoeless

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i never said that being an INTP made you a social fucktard.
i said i've been seeing it in a lot of the posts around here lately. i'm not stupid, i promise.

everyone always takes these things super personally, when chances are good i wasn't even talking to/about you in the first place. it's just a pattern i noticed and wanted to address.

i'm glad you get to get out and socialize when you want to. all that means is this thread is not about you. there's a reason i posted this in "lounge" and not "INTP". it's about people, not a type of person.
 

nil

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I disagree mostly. I agree that people should have fun at times (if they inherently don't) but doing random stupid shit isn't that fun to me. Yes, I understand the need for "social interaction" blah blah blah, but I just find much more fun in thinking or having an intellectual discussion/debate. Yes. That is fun. Fun is entirely subjective. I like art too, though I don't do it much. Music is great as well.

Of course, every once in a while I do get in the mood to do stupid shit. Me and a friend burnt an anthill with gasoline a few weeks ago. Come to think of it, about all that friend does is stupid shit. Anywho...
 
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