• OK, it's on.
  • Please note that many, many Email Addresses used for spam, are not accepted at registration. Select a respectable Free email.
  • Done now. Domine miserere nobis.

What are the best remedies to beat second guessing / anxiety ?

DIALECTIC

Active Member
Local time
Today 4:57 AM
Joined
Sep 14, 2012
Messages
281
-->
Whenever you have to take a major decision and you have rehearsed it for a long time in your head, then you announce it (waiting to put it later in concrete form when the opportunity arises), have you ever felt "trapped" like you wish you hadn't announced it in first place and wondering if it's still the right decision ?

How do you beat second guessing and self doubt and all the anxiety that comes with it ? What are your best remedies ?
 

Void

oblivious
Local time
Today 5:57 AM
Joined
Feb 5, 2013
Messages
100
-->
Yes.

I either abstain from voicing my decision if I can, or I nuance it thusly that it leaves more options open. E.g: "I think that (...), but I'm not sure"

Depends on the decision in question as well.
 
Local time
Today 4:57 AM
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
5,022
-->
Lowering the bar for your expectations of other's reactions eliminates most anxiety in the first place. Otherwise society seems chock full of solutions to treat the symptoms. You've got your choice of drugs, therapies, detachment styles, etc.
 

kvothe27

Active Member
Local time
Yesterday 10:57 PM
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
382
-->
Make it so your decision isn't essential to your self-image/ego/self-concept. The anxiety comes from the fear that the decision will lead to you creating an unacceptable or inaccurate self-image. Being an INTP, your Ti-Ne can really make this difficult. You announcing your decision to others is you attempting to broaden your self-image through association with others. They are our mirrors and essential to our maintenance of our self-concepts. In that sense, you announcing your decision, makes it more concrete in how it could impact your self image.

How do you make your decisions less anxiety-inducing? You can do that by lessening the importance of your self-image/ego/self-concept or by treating the symptom of the resulting tension. In my opinion, mindfulness meditation is a really good option for the former. You could also attempt lowering the bar as prior posters pointed out by not caring, but you may find yourself caring sometime down the line in the form of it being a regret. If you do not value having, at all times, a sharp mind, Valium is good for treating the symptoms of the anxiety. Therapy may help you learn more about yourself, what you value, be more acceptable to yourself, etc., as well. That, or as some poster may eventually point out, you could just grow a pair, which, of course, is mostly worthless advice.

Western society has a lot of options to reduce such anxiety, but the underlying values of that society make it difficult to maintain.
 

Hadoblado

think again losers
Local time
Today 2:27 PM
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
6,614
-->
Flip a coin.

If heads you do it immediately.

If tails you never do it (because that's how things go that aren't done immediately).

The secret is, you don't follow through with either decision. While the coin is in the air, you will know which result you are hoping for.
 
Top Bottom