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What am I? Bi-Polar? OCD? Autistic? You name it.

own8ge

Existential Nihilist
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#1
I thought it to be rather egocentric to self-evaluate myself as Psychology is merely to classify into a system which is defined by objective, and not subjective, relativity.

Inb4 ask psychologists. They have considered me a lot, and all had different opinions.
About me. These aren't important I guess, but for those whom are interested...

  • No concrete personality, I am always being honest
  • Highly intelligent (high IQ and EQ)
  • I am very stupid (Intelligence and Stupidity are 2 whole different elements)
  • I constantly contradict my own thoughts whilst and after thinking "I must do this! .. Fuck, I am so stupid for doing this!"
  • I tend to heavily impact others
  • Never get invited to shit, I never make the first step though
  • Extremely but legitimately insecure, about everything. (Though, I do am a "leader")
  • People tend to interpret me falsely whilst I'm being accurate in my formulation
  • I tend to want to go "to fast" in new friendships etc.
 

nanook

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#2
i am very proud and gratefull that i have been diagnosed as "not classifiable" and i imagine you have deserved the same for being utterly batshit strange. there is a number code and paragraph for "not classifiable" in the european dialogistical manual (ICD) :kodama1:
 

Architect

Professional INTP
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#3
This doesn't make sense

No concrete personality, I am always being honest
 

own8ge

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#5
This doesn't make sense
If you know what personality means, you would find out it indeed makes sense.
Personality is a classification of systematic behavior, which is predefined by principles one maintains. Principles which are only there to avoid a problem. A problem, ergo a lie. -If you progress information objectively, and a problem derives if you would express this objectivity, you thus would have to avoid expressing that truth of thought and go around that thought. I don't systematically filter my thoughts like that, I make up my own filter whilst thinking. I am being honest, means that I do not filter my thoughts whilst thinking but rather after thinking. It is hard to explain if you do not understand the simple line which you believe to make no sense >.> But I hope I'm making sense to you now. :)
 

ProxyAmenRa

Here to bring back the love!
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#6
To me you're young man trying to connect to other people but not going about it the right way. I doubt you have any mental issues that are particularly noteworthy. I suggest chilling out and enjoying life.
 

own8ge

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#7
i am very proud and gratefull that i have been diagnosed as "not classifiable" and i imagine you have deserved the same for being utterly batshit strange. there is a number code and paragraph for "not classifiable" in the european dialogistical manual (ICD) :kodama1:
F99 "Unspecified mental disorder" ?
 

own8ge

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#9
To me you're young man trying to connect to other people but not going about it the right way.
Yeah, I know, this is true :P
I suppose it's my insecurity, which is totally legitimate, does this. I have trouble forcing myself to be less intelligent (awareness-wise) in order to successfully bond with others just because they are of less awareness. You know what I mean? I don't yet know how to deal with this appropriately.

I doubt you have any mental issues that are particularly noteworthy.
Thanks! I myself think that too.

I suggest chilling out and enjoying life.
I'm trying.. I'm trying..
 

nanook

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#10
2013 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code F60.9


Personality disorder, unspecified




Between 1999-2007 there were 12 deaths in the United States where ICD-10 F60.9 was indicated as the underlying cause of death


i am literally dying right now. science, it works.
 

own8ge

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#11
2013 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code F60.9


Personality disorder, unspecified




Between 1999-2007 there were 12 deaths in the United States where ICD-10 F60.9 was indicated as the underlying cause of death


i am literally dying right now. science, it works.
Ah yeah. I just found it too.
Wait what? You are dying? o.O :confused:
 
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#12
Everyone's dying. Life is resistance to decomposition, but resistance is not immunity.

SW
 

own8ge

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#13
Everyone's dying. Life is resistance to decomposition, but resistance is not immunity.
What is the worthiness for announcing this in this particular context?
 

own8ge

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#15

Hadoblado

I em Hedo I like smell of grass
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#18
Honesty is an aspect of a personality that is concrete.

You do have enduring personality characteristics, your style is quite distinct. Are you only referring to Jungian shenanigans when you talk about personality?

Could you please qualify your statement that intelligence and stupidity are not on the same axis? I think I have an idea of what you're trying to say, but I don't want to put words in your mouth.
 

Agent Intellect

Absurd Anti-hero.
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#20
As someone with OCD/Tourettes, I can say from your description that you don't have OCD. It sounds to me like you have asshole teenager syndrome. I had that when I was an asshole teenager, too. You think right now that it won't go away, but it will. Then you'll be confused about different things.
 

pjoa09

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#21
As someone with OCD/Tourettes, I can say from your description that you don't have OCD. It sounds to me like you have asshole teenager syndrome. I had that when I was an asshole teenager, too. You think right now that it won't go away, but it will. Then you'll be confused about different things.
@Agent Intellect

How is it like to have OCD? Do you compulsively check things or is it just like Howard Hughes from The Aviator?
 

Agent Intellect

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#22
@Agent Intellect

How is it like to have OCD? Do you compulsively check things or is it just like Howard Hughes from The Aviator?
It's like having thoughts you know are completely irrational and unfounded, but they are so nagging you can't help but satisfy them. For example, you park your car, get out, go into the store, pick up your first few items and suddenly it hits you "did I remember to turn off the lights in my car?" You try to ignore the thought, but it completely consumes you to the point you have to put your items back and run out to the car to check, just to find that the lights are indeed off. Or you are trying to do your homework, and the thought of bashing your teeth against concrete and having them break enters your head out of nowhere. You can't get the thought out of your head, and the thought is so vivid your teeth literally start hurting, and you just have to set everything down because the thought is all consuming, and just wait for it to go away on it's own. Or I'm trying to fill a glass of water, and the glass is clean and dry, but I have to rinse it out 10 times before I can fill it and drink water out of it, not even so much because I think it's gross or dirty, but because filling it and dumping it out like that just satisfies some strange inner feeling that I know doesn't make sense, but I still have to do it.
 
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#23
What is the worthiness for announcing this in this particular context?
You sounded surprised when he said he was dying. You're dying too. You come and tell me my comment is unworthy, but saying "you're dying?" was a much more wasteful question.

SW
 
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#24
@Own8ge

1. Perhaps you should consider various components of cognition to exist on a 3-D graph where the X, Y, and Z axes are the bipolar, schizophrenic, and autistic spectra. If you'd like, I can identify some traits seen at the high and low ends of these spectra to make the definitions more tangible. How does one define the point 6, 2, -8? How can it be labeled?

2. Check your fb groups for Chaos/Pleroma. :angel:
It's like having thoughts you know are completely irrational and unfounded, but they are so nagging you can't help but satisfy them.
Does this get worse when under stress? This describes my mixed-state ideations, to the point where you see/hear/feel it happening, repeatedly, completely beyond your control.
 

own8ge

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#25
Your consciousness is a filter. You only get to see that what is being let through. With cannabis, this filter gets reduced. It makes you aware of more things. Now, I don't smoke weed, but this phenomenon can be natural. I am naturally stoned, at least in that aspect. People also often ask me: "Are you stoned?" Well I'm not. I'm just aware.

Now to prove my point. I see the flickering of TL and LED-lights, even my PC monitor (80hz or sth?) and also my Iphone. (I also hear tones I shouldn't be able to hear. I also feel when I'm to close to a radio thingy.) It pisses me off (It OCDs me and make me feel horrible.) Now, if instead, this is a disorder... Tell me.

Maybe: "Hypokalemic sensory overstimulation" ?

Atm I'm eating a green apple and it tastes like onion, just slightly, but enough for me to notice it a lot. BEHHH.. And if another one would taste it, he would be, nah I don't taste anything. But I taste it and I'm absolutely sure. It is the skin, it must have been mixed up with onions in the supermarket or before that. Fucking amateurs.

So perhaps this constant agitation results in me being low tollerant, specifically againt bullshit. ?
 

John_Mann

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#26
I think you is histrionic. You have a crazy need to be the center of attention. In real life you can be those nuts who invades the football field running naked. In a forum like this you just have to be bizarre with nonsense, circular thought, prolixity.

Someone always can be the center with geniality, intelligence, charisma, etc. But these things are not instantaneous, and you need right now, so you follow the histrionic shortcut.

Heuristically the histrionic is the extroversion edging the 100%.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder
 

own8ge

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#28
I think you is histrionic. You have a crazy need to be the center of attention. In real life you can be those nuts who invades the football field running naked. In a forum like this you just have to be bizarre with nonsense, circular thought, prolixity.

Someone always can be the center with geniality, intelligence, charisma, etc. But these things are not instantaneous, and you need right now, so you follow the histrionic shortcut.

Heuristically the histrionic is the extroversion edging the 100%.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder
This is just what I needed. Thanks.

But, how would that explain my oversensitivity towards stimuli? I have this intens sensitivity towards feelings and thoughts. They reach a depth my consciousness can't handle. That is how it feels to me. To others it may seem as if my tolerance-level is very low. And thus it would be over sensitivity. Not?
Is this what perhaps explains, or results, in histrionic?
Scattered (objective) thoughts and everythinggg :D; humbleness ; instability ; insecurity... Living in a constant existential angst and despair.

I have very low inter-subjectivity. So my thoughts are very subjective, and thus without a valid objectivity purpose. As my thoughts expect me to get more objective positive feedback (a rewarding) than I actually receive from the objective world. An optimism I can't control. And I am damn well aware about it and thus I become so low tolerant in the objective world. (?)
I follow through thought patterns that are highly unlikeable but treat them as serious as possible because even though it's a minor possibility, it's a huge factor in it's defiance. If we know all the possibilities of what something could be, we can calculate what the phenomenon actually represents in science. That is how my brain thinks at least. So I portray thoughts that doesn't even reflect reality, but I treat them as reality anyways. What a jerk must that be. haha. I'm not talking about myself. Or maybe I am, it's only a possibility I thought in you know. I always think in possibilities, but not reality. Infact, this is what N is all about. We interpretives all have this. It's only a matter of aspect how that defect vision of reality expresses itself in the outside world (onto other people's judgment). We give out insignificant information and treat it as if it is relevant. Which it isn't... I as Ni do this by internal stimuli. You Ne do it with external stimuli. When we perceive we perceive that what is BETWEEN present moments (We view the emptyness in reality). And we judge that. But NOT actual reality.

I personally hate this and that's why I am as I am. I can't help but notice the failures I make within everything. Within every single judgment I make, I am disgusted by the ignorance. That is why I don't bother doing things etc, resulting me into being this indecisive loser. Doing weird shit and everything. Ohhh That must be an attention seeker is what you will be thinking. But no! That is not why I am as I am. Yes, I am what I am because of my opinion towards my thoughts, but that doesn't mean that I do it or attention. I don't pay more attention to my thoughts either. I just.. I justt... Am a fool.

I am so aware how other specific humans do or could interpret me. I am aware of my foolish behavior in that way but also aware of my genius behavior. The proportion is outside my knowledge. As I (can) only think within possibilities.
How other specific humans think about me tells me how they prioritize their thoughts. And I notice how different it is from mine. (I notice temperament differences, I notice how people prioritize their stimuli), and it makes me extremely humble. It makes me naïve. I know how much of a fool I would be in someone else's subjective perspective, and I notice how much distance away my subjective perspective is. I can't make connections between them. For me, they are to far away for me to explain myself properly towards their subjective perspective. This is my stupidity and it makes me EXTREMELY live in existential despair and angst. My objectivity is too stupid for my awareness. My awareness is VERY much higher than my capable objectivity. I thus, filter too less knowledge out of my consciousness whilst thinking. (That is what consciousness is all about, Filtering knowledge). And My consciousness happenes to filter less than other subjects. Making me of a more rare or unique objectivity. Which can't be understood by other people as I lack inter-subjectivity due to this.

And older, and thus more experienced people, have thus more awareness of what reality actually is. They should thus be admired. That is an Te perspective, but I can understand that. I do not agree however, because I can't change myself enough to reach to that standard of appreciating older people. Instead I don't change myself simply because I am to insecure and unstable too change myself.

We don't take information personal. Which is our biggest mistake.

I'm stoned, but what I wrote is true? That's what I think.
 
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#29
You sounded surprised when he said he was dying. You're dying too. You come and tell me my comment is unworthy, but saying "you're dying?" was a much more wasteful question.

SW
Nix the sole view of dying. In some ways you is checking out true; in others you is replacing; in others more you is growing new.
 

John_Mann

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#30
How do you type yourself? I think you is a strong ESFP. I think you can put all this energy in sex. Stop think and mental masturbation and F(reud) for real. That's what I do when I feel over energized. I don't know if is an INTP thing but I'm a sex addicted.

I love the nihilist sensation after sex.
 
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#31
i am very proud and gratefull that i have been diagnosed as "not classifiable" and i imagine you have deserved the same for being utterly batshit strange. there is a number code and paragraph for "not classifiable" in the european dialogistical manual (ICD) :kodama1:
I see that you live in Germany. I don't think that a diagnosis of "not classifiable" is allowed in the US; neither the insurance companies nor the government would like such a diagnosis ... I have a diagnosis: Major Depression. I have another diagnosis: Asperger's Syndrome (sometimes equated with "high-functioning autism"). And, yes, I have surrendered to the System: I take my pills and attend a psychiatric day-treatment program. I have a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a licensed clinical social worker, and a counselor who all work night and day to keep me on my rails. In short, I'm nuts and have the papers to prove it!

- Mark
 

own8ge

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#32
I see that you live in Germany. I don't think that a diagnosis of "not classifiable" is allowed in the US; neither the insurance companies nor the government would like such a diagnosis ... I have a diagnosis: Major Depression. I have another diagnosis: Asperger's Syndrome (sometimes equated with "high-functioning autism"). And, yes, I have surrendered to the System: I take my pills and attend a psychiatric day-treatment program. I have a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a licensed clinical social worker, and a counselor who all work night and day to keep me on my rails. In short, I'm nuts and have the papers to prove it!

- Mark
Whilst being nuts, how do you have income?
 
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