Understanding and giving credit to other people

[n_senn]

Does anyone else find it difficult to understand why other people dont look at the world the same way you do......to me its almost like they dont try hard enough or dont care enough........like they are flawed in some way because they dont think about things the way i do......like the reason they are the way they are is because they are hiding from reality or something and the sooner they face it the better off they would be.....i dont know i just find it really hard to credit their perspectives on things sometimes or to understand and respect them as a fellow human being because they are so completely irrational...i dont know what are your thoughts on this???

 

[Ermine]

While I prefer and relish my way of thinking, and am prone to having a superiority complex, I can still appreciate other people's perspectives. For example, my mom is an xSTJ. She drives my up the wall half the time, but I can still appreciate the fact that she is a lot more in touch with the world, and a lot more successful by the world's standards. While I don't care about being "successful", I still know it has its uses. Also, the Fs. I don't get them at all. It's hard to distinguish any trends in their thinking, but they have a much deeper connection with people than I ever will. It would probably take me decades of experience to develop the emotional intelligence they have almost as an instinct.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Does anyone else find it difficult to understand why other people dont look at the world the same way you do

Nope. Six billion people means six billion different points of view. Seems entirely natural to me that most folks won't see things the way I see things.

......to me its almost like they dont try hard enough or dont care enough........like they are flawed in some way because they dont think about things the way i do

I generally assume the reverse--or something like it. What I mean is, I'm inclined to assume my own view is lacking and ignorant of some relevant facts or other, so, I don't assume that my own conclusions are entirely correct, but likely will eventually be modified. That said, on some topics, I have formulated longer-term views.

......like the reason they are the way they are is because they are hiding from reality or something and the sooner they face it the better off they would be.....i dont know i just find it really hard to credit their perspectives on things sometimes or to understand and respect them as a fellow human being because they are so completely irrational...i dont know what are your thoughts on this???

Throughout my life, I've noticed a tendency. As I get older, I find myself learning things that require that I alter my previous views. That said, I expect this will continue. Therefore, I cannot assume that I've hit "the truth" in many things yet.

I am, however, working on it.



Dave

 

[Friar Pug Rush]

Ignorant people, I can occasionally tolerate, if I don't have to talk to them about anything I care about. Problem with ignorant people is, they usually want to talk about that stuff.
Intolerant people, I will not tolerate. Inevitably, I poke and prod until they try to start a fight, at which point I belittle them for their lack of intelligence, and usually get beat up. So who's the stupid one? I don't know...
Other than that... there's a lot of people that I don't think care enough about asking questions. I like talking to these people though, because they're what "normal" people are, to me. Of course, me being emotionally retarded and all, sometimes I go a little too far with them, and sometimes they cry/get mad/whatever, and I get to feel like a jerk for awhile.
All that said, I like to think I can appreciate other people's perspectives, but there is definitely a but. If they aren't willing to question their perspectives like I question mine, I usually write them off as hopelessly brainwashed by their environment.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Intolerant people, I will not tolerate.

I admire anyone who can live in a logical paradox, illogical as that may be.

Back on topic, people are still people regardless of how wrong their beliefs and values are. I prefer to interact with people as though I'm a locksmith and they're a lock (sorry, bad analogy); what I mean to say is they often contain interesting information or inspiration hidden in their mind.

I would be ignorant to assume that anyone is completely useless, there's always some skill, some memory or just something about them my mind can use. Old people are fantastic for this purpose, so many years of experience and accumulated knowledge.

Even children have thoughts worth analysing, fresh perspectives and unconventional ideas. Of course most of the stuff between people's ears is useless, but then so is the dirt in a goldmine.

 

[grey matters]

People interpret and interact with the world through their own perspectives. Its like they are looking through different types of glasses. Some people have colored lenses , some people have blinders on (they are very focused on what they can see, but have difficulty seeing the whole picture) Some people are far sighted or nearsighted and it seems that INTP's can see so much so clearly yet can't see simple things like the rock they are about to trip over. My stepfather is a brilliant physicit yet he will walk around for hours with his shirt inside out and not notice it. I believe that personality is a very strong factor in creating our perspective or our glasses.
Here is an example: I am an INTP and my stepmother, stepsister, and brother-in-law are feeling types. At family gatherings at their house they think I and my sister (who is also a thinking type), should be a part of the group; homogeny is the goal and the way things should be. Differing opinions and individualism are seen as disloyal and rude. we are party poopers at best and distroyers of family unity at worst. What comes naturally to us is a maladaptive behavior to them. For us, ignoring our individualism and stifling our opinions is rude and almost a violation of who we are. They think we have a problem and we think they are stupid. At my mom's house we are all thinking types. We respect each other as individuals (we wouldn't want it any other way) and enjoy each others opinions. You would not believe the debates that we have gotten into at her family gatherings.
When it comes to dealing with people of differing personality types it is best when all parties involved get their own heads out of their asses. It's amazing the things you can see when you do this. We can't expect them to think objectively and critically anymore then they can expect us to feel things they way they feel things.
As INTP's we have a natural ability to learn through aquired knowledge how they see things and try to remember and apply this knowledge when we deal with them.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

When it comes to most people..there really isn't a lot going on upstairs, i often find people are very predictable and that i can read them like a hawk, tones of voices, body signals and etc. Most of the time i can answer peoples questions before they get half of it out, or i finish peoples sentences.. This being said, i don't give many people a lot of credit, im not biased, i will give credit where credit is due but most "normal" people don't have much to offer.

 

[ElectricWizard]

People who are more social will probably be more influenced by society.

 

[n_senn]

i dont know...to me it seems like most people just want the "fish" they could care less if they ever learned how to catch them

 

[Agent Intellect]

generally, when i meet new people, i assume that they're stupid and that they think i'm stupid. i guess, and this is probably because of my introvertedness, the saying "its better to stay silent and have people think you're stupid then to open your mouth and remove all doubt". i usually sit back and observe new people for a while before i say anything that might confirm to them that i am stupid.

this philosophy has worked well for me over the years, as most people do end up being stupid and not worth my time.

 

[Thread Killer]

People with different points of view can tackle issues and responsibilities that you or I am too indifferent towards or incapable of undertaking. That and they can expose the lunacy that exists in us on an individual level. Alternative points of view are not only enriching (or infuriating if the person is someone who thinks their POV is superior) but essential.

 

[IndigoSensor]

>_>
<_<

Random Necromancy. Muwahahahaha!

I actually put a huge level of effort into understanding the motivations of other people, and I like to think I am good at it (it's a cornerstone of how I navigate in the social world). It's largely because I am INFJ. Sometimes, it is indeed hard for me to understand why someone thinks one way and not in the same way that I do. I find it to be extremely important to at the very least understand why they feel this way. The hardest situation would probabally be with religious discussions, and the concept of faith, which would be diffucult for INTP's to apply this to. Everyone has their own internal understandings of what they believe and why (the degree to which this is conscious and complete, is highly variable though so that imparts a problem). Sometimes, ask someone how they got there. Just because it doesn't match your logical loops, does not automatically invalidate everything. It's very hard for me to explain how I extract understanding and motivations of others, but a lot of it comes to do acceptance really. In addition, sometimes, the motivation is as simple as "because it just is" (and yes that is very frusterating).

 

[ohrtonz]

I can admit, and have to some people, how I feel or why I am acting a certain way. I can explain the possibility of why I said something or do something based on possible influences of past and present. I can proclaim self awareness when needed. I often wonder if others are aware of why they reacted or said something at the time. Its not like everyone goes around explaining everything, but I wonder if in their head they are aware of it all.

Maybe a specific example... I am well aware that I am continuing a white lie or saying certain things in a conversation when I have started to realize I am wrong, but I will continue. I know there are a few things for the situation a person could say to me that will get me to publicly admit I am wrong. They must realize my mistake in logic, but they don't. Its like they need to say the magic words, but never do. I am aware of this. Are others? Maybe not if your a pathological liar or just ignorant.

I actually put a huge level of effort into understanding the motivations of other people, and I like to think I am good at it

Yea, someone may do something and I think of the possibilities and the situation and wonder if they are even aware of themselves. I think there is a term for this outsider view on situations. Maybe its just a simple fact of seeing things from another perspective and nothing special about us. But yet again, through knowledge and exploration I am aware of this phenomenon and why people on the outside see things differently. While others may argue and argue how stupid someone is because of a different viewpoint of the situation, not aware they may be wrong because of the phenomenon.

 

[Jennywocky]

I can admit, and have to some people, how I feel or why I am acting a certain way. I can explain the possibility of why I said something or do something based on possible influences of past and present. I can proclaim self awareness when needed. I often wonder if others are aware of why they reacted or said something at the time. Its not like everyone goes around explaining everything, but I wonder if in their head they are aware of it all.

A lot of people just live.
They aren't totally self-aware.

I think our ability to step outside ourselves and be so self-aware (and able to analyze our own thoughts and feelings and behaviors) is both a blessing and a curse.

It allows us to perhaps make more consistent and thoughtful decisions. However, it also removes us from the active flow of living and it's easy to become a "metal calculator" than a living, feeling person.

There's some sort of happy medium to find, that increases one's enjoyment of and participation in life itself.

As far as people go, I'm usually able to pretty quickly figure out where they are coming from. This sometimes leaves me torn, if I disagree with their conclusions. People are able to act consistently, but often their primary assumptions are driving the wrong conclusions, rather than bad motives or idiotic thinking; hence, their assumptions are what I actually disagree with.. so then I am not sure how to fix that. When they are trying to act out of good motives and/or consistent thinking, but their primary assumptions are wrong, I'm torn on how to respond.

 

[ohrtonz]

I found out the term.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attributional_bias
http://psychology.about.com/od/aindex/g/actor-observer.htm
"For example, in a situation where a person experiences something negative, the individual will often blame the situation or circumstances. When something negative happens to another person, people will often blame the individual for their personal choices, behaviors and actions."
But this applies to everyone. Not some special thing INTPs can overcome.

 

[Siloc]

When it comes to most people..there really isn't a lot going on upstairs, i often find people are very predictable and that i can read them like a hawk, tones of voices, body signals and etc. Most of the time i can answer peoples questions before they get half of it out, or i finish peoples sentences.. This being said, i don't give many people a lot of credit, im not biased, i will give credit where credit is due but most "normal" people don't have much to offer.

This is very true, and it's something I point out all the time when someone puts mankind on the pedestal. Actually, I just tend to point out/play on this predictability in general, although I now tend to keep my mouth shut, because the reactions are rarely positive, or even neutral for that matter.

The problem with this predictability is how acutely aware of it I am in myself. I even notice that I attempt to consciously alter certain patterns in my behavior so that I may escape from the mundane routines in habit and thought. Ultimately so that I can not be pinned down, and understood in the way I understand/predict behavior in others. This awareness often teeters on the brink of paranoia.

This alteration of my behavior than leads me to reflect on the fact that total unpredictability is not only impossible, at least objectively speaking, but is also a denial of reason... an exchange of randomness for rationality. Not only this, but I also realize that my ability to see such things is fundamentally and deterministically out of “my” control. I still oscillate between ways to deal with this discrepancy in everyday life... In the words of the philosopher William Joel, “I go to extremes”.

Maybe a specific example... I am well aware that I am continuing a white lie or saying certain things in a conversation when I have started to realize I am wrong, but I will continue. I know there are a few things for the situation a person could say to me that will get me to publicly admit I am wrong. They must realize my mistake in logic, but they don't. Its like they need to say the magic words, but never do. I am aware of this. Are others? Maybe not if your a pathological liar or just ignorant.

I do this to. In fact, I think I throw out hints, and loopholes just to see if the person will bite, problem is, practically no one does, and then I begin to doubt my ability to fabricate such schemes... After doubting their ability to recognize the proper subtle cues of course.

Problem is, I am unsure if I really want someone to be as aware of these things as I am... especially in myself. Since I go to such great lengths to rid myself of predictability, yet in the same stroke so ardently look for someone to understand my process, which to be understood must be somewhat coherent,pattern based, and not random.